Disclaimer: Nothing to see here… move along, move along… They're not mine, or anyone else's except J.K. Rowling, apart from the Shrek reference. So… on with the show! ~ Zoë.
Sarah: One cold winters afternoon, all the characters from the Harry Potter books were being rounded up (like the fairytale characters in Shrek) by Muggles who thought they were evil. The Muggles were having a few problems with Voldemort.
Lizza: "Let's have a party!" called George. "There will never be any fear of You-Know-Who again!"
"Say Voldemort!" yelled everyone.
"No!" said George, "because if I ever say Voldemort I will die!"
"You just said Voldemort," they all reminded him.
"Oh," he said, and died.
Zoë: "Well, that's sorted that mess out," said Fred Weasley, rubbing his hands together.
"Job well done, I reckon," said George.
"HEY!" shouted Harry. "You're not allowed to destroy Voldemort, that's my job… I mean… well done, jolly good show!"
Sarah: "Yes, jolly good show," agreed Percy. Ron nudged him in the ribs.
"You didn't see it," he reminded him. "You were asleep."
"Whoops," said Percy, "I was just dreaming about being made Minister of Magic."
Lizza: (D'oh I wish Percy wasn't dead…) "Now who
shall I make minister?" said the author. "I know, how about Mr
Weasley then Lucius Malfoy can kill him." All this happened and Lucius
became Minister no, Prime Minister of Muggle England!
Zoë: Percy was very annoyed, and promptly became a dark wizard and blew everyone up. All he'd ever wanted was to feel LOVED, but NOOOOOO, no-one even mentioned him in their consequences stories…
Sarah: The first one started off strangely and ended with the word PINEAPPLE.