Sleeping Orchids
Chapter Five : Angel
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The drive back to Koneko was quiet after Aya's outburst, no one really knowing what to say. If there was anything they could say. The beaten redhead drifted in and out of sleep still in Ken's arms, never really responding to Ken's words. He didn't deserve his care... A part of him wanted it though, but how could he selfishly take it or stand to let anyone really see him in this condition? There was far from any other choice though... he could barely get up the strength to lift his head let alone take care of himself. If he could have found his katana and had the strength to bury it into his own heart to get rid of the shame and the pain that nearly numbed his body, he would have. Repeatedly.
He slowly awoke as they pulled into the garage of the flower shoppe, hearing the engine of the Roadster cut and fade. Home... where he felt safe... but they also knew where their home was. A pained sigh crossed over his lips as he felt himself moved and pulled up into Ken's strong arms, his own body weak and limp like a rag doll. The soft parting words between the three barely registered, his mind still in a state of shock. Pulling closer with one arm wrapping about the brunette's neck, he kept his other still on the jacket, holding it around him as he let Ken carry him to bed.
The younger assassin walked carefully into Aya's apartment taking care to lock the door behind him. He'd given his Bugnuk to Youji as they exited the car to drop them in the bucket of solution he usually dumped them in after a mission to start the arduous cleaning process that usually took most of the night.
Tonight was different though. He had other things to tend to than the gore covered Bugnuk. He had Aya to take care of.
Carefully Ken stepped into the bathroom and into the tub. "Cover your face a minute. I'm going to turn on the water." Managing as best as he could with the redhead in his arms, Ken turned on the faucets and adjusted the temperature. It was hotter than he would have liked it but the icy chill over Aya's skin demanded it. For a while he simply stood in the steaming stream of water cradling Aya in his arms. Aya still dressed in Youji's trench coat and himself in his full gear shoes and all. He didn't care in the least he was utterly ruining the two jackets. Yotan would understand. Aya was more important... to him anyway.
While they showered he'd asked Omi to prepare Aya some chicken broth and bring up his Gatorade from the fridge in his room. Hopefully they'd be waiting out in the hall when they got out of the shower.
Sighing softly he looked down at Aya's grimy face, watching the rivulets of water cut through the dirt and slime and god knew what else on his face. "Aya. I'm gonna bathe you in a few minutes. Do you think you can manage to stand or do you want me to sit you down. I'm gonna have to get this coat off you to do it though... "
Aya's eyes stayed closed as the water poured over him, still shivering despite the heated water. It was hot like that damned German's touch on his skin, revolting and making him want to vomit with every touch, the scalding burn of his hands making him sick to his stomach. Trying desperately to shake the thoughts away, telling himself he was with Weiß again, with Ken... not with Schuldich...
Opening his eyes again he tilted his head, staring into those deep oceany eyes. Ones he never seemed to pay attention to in moments of passion, only going to Ken's room for his own sake to get off. But sometime somewhere it had turned into more and he never even realized until he was denied it and offered something else. The same thing he offered Ken?
"... Stand... Why... why are you doing this.... Ken. I often bandage my own wounds after... missions. I don't expect you to..." His hands clung tighter to the jacket with the white cross on the back, the garment having become like a safety blanket to him. His head shook furiously as he remembered the many times Schuldich had struck him, bit him, whipped him, kicked him... he didn't even want to see his own bruised and broken skin, once a pure white like snow now he didn't even dare guess. If he didn't want to see it, how could he bear anyone else seeing what Schuldich had done to him? As he shook his head, he didn't even notice the tears that cut down his cheeks in bitterly clean trails.
"Aya... Let me help you this once. It doesn't matter what he did or what you look like right now. Wounds heal and I'll still love you." The redhead was placed gently on his feet as Ken's arm wound itself lightly around the male's waist and his other came to rest on his pale forehead to push the soaked strands of hair from his face. "Let me take care of you Aya. The way I've wanted to. The way I did after our first 'meeting' at the Koneko. I bandaged every one of your cuts and scrapes. This time I'll be nicer about it. Please, Aya. Don't shut me out when I need you the most."
Taking in a slow breath, Aya nodded head faintly, caught in those deep turquoise eyes. Every time his shame pushed him to look away his eyes always dragged back to those eyes, seeing such warmth and adoration of the filthy male in those depths. Unwrapping his arms from where they were crossed over his torso, he slowly moved his aching arms to pull the jacket from himself and lower it down, exposing his bruised and cut skin. As the streams of hot water hit the wounds he cried out softly, fighting the urge to pull the jacket back and hide it the bit of cover it offered. "Still can't believe... you hit me..." he said in a mere whisper, his eyes sliding shut as he kept it lowered to just below his shoulders.
An ultra light kiss fluttered lightly onto Aya's cheek. "I need the whole thing off, sweetheart. I'm not gonna hurt you. If you want to you can keep your eyes closed and I'll tell you a story the whole time so you don't get scared of me okay?"
Ken finally moved his eyes from Aya's face and took in the exposed cuts and bruises and winced. He was suddenly very disappointed he hadn't hurt the German more. Delivered him matching cuts and bruises on the telepath. He wanted to cry and absorb all of Aya's pain onto himself. He took a deep breath and licked his lips. There was a sudden salty flavor there. Angry tears burned his eyes as he looked at the terrified male in front of him. He felt so helpless to do anything to help. He was pulling out everything yet he didn't feel like he was honestly doing any good. He wanted Aya to snap out of it. Yell at him. Insult him. Threaten to kill him if he didn't stop coddling. Some bit of the Aya he'd fallen hopelessly in love with.
Yes he did love Aya still even now, especially now, but he still longed to see Aya back to his old self. He sighed deeply and chuckled lightly. "I hit you cuz you tried to kill me the night before. Just paying ya back. Did the same thing to Yotan. You put up a better fight though. He dropped like a brick. He punches like a girl too. Then anyway."
"I know you won't hurt me..." Aya sighed softly again but opened his eyes. The darkness behind his closed eyelids was too much like the dank room he'd been kept in. Never knowing when Schuldich would come. If he would be tender and persuasive or cruel and absolutely merciless. He never should have cried out the first time Schuldich brought in the whip because that soon became his favorite toy, something that got a reaction from the stoic silent block of ice that let no emotion every touch his face.
"I am not a child who needs a bedtime story..." he said in a whisper even while his voice wavered, seeing the emotion burning behind Ken's eyes, in those tears that kept threatening to fall. Even still he looked at him with such tenderness it made him want to cry... hell he already was. Every tear he wished he could have shed but denied the telepath streamed over his cheeks now, mixing with the water flowing from the showerhead. Trying to keep back a shudder through his entire body, he lowered the jacket all way off and still hung onto it with one hand, his fingers clenching on it tightly. His eyes fell to the shower floor once more, not wanting to see Ken's reaction to his bloodied and weary form, the trails of filth all over him. He has always been the obsessive-compulsive one, liking things neat and in order. If there was a single speck of mud on the shoppe floor he'd snap and point the nearest person to a mop or send glares around to everyone's feet o see who trekked it in if they dared tread on his freshly mopped floor. Now... now he was worse than a helpless child, a dirty broken porcelain doll.
Ken took a silent deep breath and closed his eyes as he looked up and down Aya's form. "Let's make this a bit more even okay?" Ken's brown leather jacket was tossed outside of the tub, which was followed by his black t-shirt. His shoes and socks came next and finally the orange shirt and his jeans. The gun he'd used to kill the telepath plunked softly on top of the pile of clothes. Ken remained in his boxers wanting to remain as nonthreatening as possible. His hand reached out and pulled the dark trench coat from his hands.
A dark bronze hand crooked and lilted up Aya's face to look at him. Another soft flutter of kisses danced lightly on the pale cheeks as Ken pleaded with his light kisses to open his eyes. "Aya... You're still the most beautiful flower in my eyes. An eternally beautiful and delicate bloom that I'll love and treasure always. Lovely violet and crimson wisteria that's wound itself so tightly about me that I fear trying to cut it loose would kill me." Offering the male a gentle smile he continued, "Let's see if we can wash this dirt off you."
"... you don't have to cut me loose Ken..." he said faintly as he pointed to the mild shower soap with his arms still crossed, a faint blush coloring his cheeks as he heard the compliment from Ken's smooth voice, and from the fact that he suddenly realized what exact scent of shower gel this was. Gentian. His eyes opened slowly at the soft kisses, turning his head slightly after a few, not wanting Ken to dirty his perfect lips with the filth coated over him. His fingers having lost the trench coat to cling to they instead tightened and loosened in a fist on his upper arm. His eyes stayed on Ken's face after his eyelids opened, his face gently tilting into his palm as he smiled so warmly at him. Unfolding an arm from over his pale torso as he let his cheek rest on the soft palm, he reached out slowly with a shaking arm to pick up the shower gel and a poof.
"The poof might do more harm than good on some of these cuts. Hrm... I wonder if I should get the baby soap from my shower." Ken blushed as the thought was verbalized. He blinked and blushed lightly. "Yes I still use baby soap. I've got sensitive skin." Sighing softly he lowered the redhead gently to the tub floor. "I'm going to go get it. It won't sting as much as yours will."
Darting quickly to his own shower and back, Ken stayed true to his word and returned in less than a minute bringing with him nearly the entire line of Johnson and Johnson's baby bathing products. For the first time in a long time he was glad his apartment was next door to Aya's. "Oookee dokee, back up we go." Smiling softly, Ken squeezed a bit of the pink baby shower gel into his palm and created a soft sweet smelling lather.
His hands rested lightly on Aya's as he began to rub the soothing lather over his face. Rinsing and repeating as necessary he cleaned off Aya's face and slowly moved down to his neck and shoulders. He massaged softly when he could, when he suspected it wouldn't hurt much. As he bathed his teammate he hummed softly. It was rather nice and quite in tune, hinting at a little known talent that Ken Hidaka could actually sing and sing well.
"I always figured you did..." Aya said softly, the soft scent that always surrounded Ken now nearly intoxicating him as the soap rinsed away the filth and encrusted blood from his face and upper torso. He just sighed softly, letting Ken's warm gentle hands do their work, enjoying his gentle touch. The few times Schuldich had touched him he had always been asking for something in return or trying to sooth him into relaxation before delivering a hard unexpected strike to make it hurt more since he was unprepared for it. But Ken asked for nothing in return but somehow Aya felt like he owed him for this, for treating him so kindly when he had shown him nothing of the sort.
Every time he had ever come to Ken's room in the middle of the night it had been for himself, Schuldich had been correct about that. He seldom had ever spoke, seldom touched Ken very gently, and seldom had Ken ever touched him back, just letting the redhead do whatever he wanted and making no protest when he was finished and left. The only time he had ever held Ken in his arms was afterwards for a few moments when he would be catching his breath but he always abruptly left the warmth of Ken's bed and arms to return to his own.
He shook his head faintly and just listened to the sound of Ken humming. He'd often heard him humming in the shoppe, usually followed by a scold that he was hardly paying attention to what he was doing, but it had never been this melodious or sweet. "What... do I owe you for this..." he whispered under his breath, down casting his eyes once more, a part of him telling him that like Schuldich Ken would expect something in return for the kindness bestowed on him. There had to be a reason other than that... Ken loved him. How could he love him, the cold selfish one of Weiß who only showed him any type of kindness in the late hours of the night, and not even really then. The brunette deserved someone so much better and though he said otherwise, Aya was hardly beautiful and Ken was the most extraordinary sight he'd ever seen.
"Owe... me?" Ken suddenly stopped in his gentle washing. "Why would you owe me. I just want to take care of you and make you feel better and help you get over this. If think you have to repay me or that you need to make this up to me... well." He regarded the taller male thoughtfully as he mulled over in his head what to request. "I guess if I wanted anything, it would be... " Once more Ken's finger found Aya's chin and lifted his gaze to his own. "Just to accept the love I want to give you and hopefully some day return it. That's all I really want Aya. For you to love me... genuinely. The same way I love you." Bestowing a bright smile to the redhead, Ken started in on bathing his teammate moving onto his arms next.
"How... how can you love me... Ken... I fail at being human." His voice cracked as he remembered their bickering over the mic sets before Schwarz arrived, the way he had sharply edged his words to Ken the same way most targets met the sharp edge of his katana. Though he would never again lift his sword to Ken, his iced words were often worse. His arms fidgeted, moving between lying at his sides and crossed over his chest before he finally raised them to help rub the soap over his skin.
"I don't know. I just do. Don't remember when. Just one day I looked at you and it was like someone turned on a light switch in my head." Shrugging faintly Ken continued his gentle washing, taking extra care with the cuts and scraps along the backs of his arms from the lashings. "And you can't take the things I say in anger out of context. I was angry and you'd hurt my feelings. Nothing new really. I'm kinda used to it. It's pretty much the only thing I know. But I do know you're human and that you can be nice. I've seen you with your sister and with her friends and the way you are with Momoe and the little kids that come to the hospital.
"You have a lot of warmth in you still. Please tell me he didn't take that from you. Or I swear..." His hand tightened suddenly as his eyes clouded in rage. Blinking suddenly Ken dropped everything and stepped away from Aya and looked away. "I'm sorry. I didn't... god... oh god. I didn't hurt you. God please. It's just. God Aya. I should go and let you finish up your shower... I'll be right outside the door if you need me." Ken stepped away a bit further and slid the shower door open and started to get out.
"I'm sorry Ken... I didn't mean to hurt you, I never mean to... You really don't screw up as much as I make it out to seem..." A shaking hand reached out to Ken, trailing a soapy finger up his upper arm before dropping it back to his side. "Don't-- don't leave, Ken... please. I don't want to be alone..." He bit his already sore lip, trying to fight back the tears that overwhelmed him at random and actually won this time. "I never knew what to think when he left me alone... if he'd come back or when he'd come back or what he'd do... Ken it was so dark there..."
His eyes softened as they widened in near panic, like a child clinging to their parents after a nightmare even while trying to push them away and handle this on their own, trying to be strong but the nightmare broke all their walls and made them weak. "I'm afraid if I'm alone again..." he looked down and slowly sunk to the shower floor, wrapping his arms about his knees and rocked slowly while the water continued to pour down on him. "He'll take me again..."
Ken quickly moved to kneel before Aya and rubbed lightly along his arms. "He won't, Aya. He'll never come for you again. He's dead. Very much very dead. I made sure of it. He can't hurt you any more. I'm here to protect you and love you. I'll never leave your side Aya." Sliding next to the curled up form, he gently pushed his legs extending them and squeezed another dollop of soap into his hands and began rubbing the cool sweet smelling substance into his legs. He took the time to not only wash it but massage him lightly easing the tightness. He paused for a moment to step out briefly only to return with his toothbrush covered in a generous mount of paste.
"I figure you've been itching to do that badly. After I'm done with your legs it's just your back, and then your um... private areas left to wash. I can do your back but... the... um. Only if you want me to." Ken was suddenly blushing as red as Aya's hair trying to both talk to him and avoid looking at the mentioned areas of his body. Sure he knew the feel of Aya's organ embedded deeply inside of him but he'd never actually seen it under good lighting, nor had he ever touched it. His voice wavered a bit and a sheepish smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked at Aya finally.
Aya took the toothbrush with a tiny grateful smile, the upturn to his lips fading far too quickly but it had been there. A faint blush touched his cleaned cheeks at Ken's stuttering and he just nodded faintly, still deciding though which of them should clean him... there. His lower anatomy and his hands had been the only places Schuldich hadn't struck, bit his nails into, whipped... the list of ways he'd abused him went on and on in his mind along with images he was fighting to forget but refused to leave.
He looked up with the toothbrush still in his mouth as Ken glanced over at his face. Turning his head to the side away from him, he spat out the toothpaste, the spit being slightly pink from the blood still in his mouth and the open sores from when he'd bitten hard into his lip time and time again. Though the gentle minty toothpaste stung a bit from the tender inner flesh of his mouth, he would choose the stinging and the minty taste any day over the coppery taste of blood or bitter release of passion from when Schuldich had shoved his hard arousal between his full lips, climaxing from just the wet touch of his mouth with no reciprocation from the redhead.
"I can get... there... while you get my back..." He flushed a bit but just blamed it on the heat of the water, the steam still filing the shower stall they sat in. Waiting until his legs were cleaned and rinses, he turned to let his back face Ken, the broad expanse streaked in blood and grime with long red welts across the ivory skin hidden beneath the bruises and numerous cuts. "How... bad is it Ken? I don't think I even want to look... I-- lost track of... for awhile I busied my mind and just counted how many times he struck me... almost like counting sheep to fall to slumber but..." He just shook his head and shivered, taking the bottle of soap into his hands to squeeze out a quarter size dollop into his palm, easily more than enough. But he still felt... dirty especially there from the many times Schuldich had touched him, trying to urge him to be aroused. He had to wonder if he had would the German have been gentler on him.
"It could have been worse." Ken closed his eyes as he took the soap and squeezed a generous amount directly on his back and began to rub it into his skin both to clean and soothe. He bit his lip to keep from screaming at the broken and swollen skin beneath his fingers. His back remained tense to keep from shuddering at the torn texture. He fought for control to not scream in agony at the pain he was feeling in his own back as he imagined them on his form.
He repeated the process twice more along his back extending to the curve of his backside. He let his hands rest lightly along those curves as he once again started humming the soft melody from earlier. As he let the water rinse the last of the soap, he pressed his forehead against the back of Aya's neck. He sighed, "Really, it doesn't look so bad. There's this one here..." He pressed a light kiss to the deepest of the gashes. "And here..." Another kiss on another cut. He continued with the worst of the scrapes kissing along each one as he either hummed or sighed never once ceasing the sound of his voice. "We still need to wash your backside, Aya."
A tiny moan escaped from Aya's lips without him even realizing it, touched by Ken's sentiment and concern though he hardly saw how he deserved it. The feel of the soft kisses over his abused flesh helped to drown out the slight sting of the soap on the deep cuts and tender welts. "Ken..." he uttered faintly as he rose shakily to his feet so the brunette could rinse the rest of him. One hand reached out to press against the wall, helping to keep him standing. Looking over his shoulder, his gaze met with his he noticed clenching his teeth even while talking and humming. "What is it...?"
"Well you got your front clean... now your um... other side." Ken blushed lightly as he continued the light washing of Aya's back, cleaning what he could of the cuts, getting out any infection that was setting in. Yet with every wince he caused he made sure to plant a kiss over the wound. Sighing softly his hands dropped to the male's hips as his cheek found an unharmed patch of skin on his shoulder to rest against. "Aya... I'm not hurting you am I? And I've got something to confess..."
"No... you're not..." Aya breathed in slowly, his eyes open as he leaned his hand against the tiled wet wall. He flinched when he felt Ken's cheek press against his shoulder, shivering slightly from the touch but he tried desperately to remind himself it was Ken not Schuldich... Ken said he was dead, very dead, and he'd never known the former soccer player to be a liar. "Confess...?"
A light embarrassed laugh sounded as Ken straightened and stepped back keeping Aya at arms length. "Well... when you said my name like that, it did something to me and well..." The younger male fidgeted slight as he reached for the shampoo bottle and squeezed a bit in his palm before applying it to his teammate's hair. "Let's just say I'm gonna need a cold shower when I finish with yours." He smiled softly. "I tried to keep it innocent, but... you're just so beautiful, Aya. I don't even see the cuts and bruises. You're still... perfect to me."
"I'm far from perfect... Perfection is.. ...impossible." He sucked in a slow breath and turned around, dipping his head to let Ken shampoo his hair more easily. As he dipped his head, he blushed faintly before closing his eyes, getting a glimpse of the outline of Ken's sudden arousal through his wet boxers. "I didn't... ah, your touch is just... nice Ken." He sighed softly and kept his eyelids shut over his violet gaze, unable to explain that it had been kisses and soft caresses he'd imagined the time Schuldich tried to make him enjoy it. Which only had infuriated the German.
"No, Aya. You're not perfect, but to me, in my personal definition, you fit it. It's defined around you. Despite your faults." Warm hands slid slowly amidst the sudsy silk of wet crimson. Ken sighed softly again enjoying the feel. Tipping Aya's head back he rinsed the shampoo from it all the while resisting the urge to press his lips against the smooth column of Aya's neck. "I like touching you, Aya. I've wanted to for as long as I could remember... and I feel guilty that I'm taking pleasure from doing it now, like I'm no better than... him. It's not your pain that I'm enjoying... it's that... well... that you need me. For a long time I believed that you never needed anyone. That you were invincible and indestructible, but now? I wish it hadn't had to happen like this... you just seem... reachable I guess." Ken puffed out a short frustrated raspberry into the air and scrunched his nose. "Am I making any sense?"
"Don't say that!" Aya reached out to put his hands on Ken's shoulders, gripping him tightly before dropping his hold, afraid he'd hurt him or afraid he'd be struck for his contradiction and protest. "Don't... say that. You're not like him. If anyone is... I am."
Ken's hands reached out to Aya clasping them in his. "You're not... like him either. What you... we did was nothing like that." Tilting his head so that he could look into those violet orbs he so often lost himself in, he continued, "Come on. I can kick your ass any day of the week." Smiling widely he went on, "If I didn't want you to bed me... I would have said no and fought you tooth and nail, but I never did. Even though you were rough, and never stayed long after... I did enjoy it. It was, well, what I expected from you. Had you been loving and sweet... I would have been suspicious. Don't feel guilty about what we did. Maybe some day we can... well... you know...." He blushed softly as his lips moved to press lightly to his nose.
Just nodding faintly, Aya let him lead him from the shower, letting him help him get his weary and sore limbs into the soft terry cloth robe. He did feel a lot better. The scum from the past three days had been washed down the drain... now if only it could be that easy to rinse away every other remnant of those days in that prison cell. Moving over to lay on the bed after pulling on worn cotton sweatpants, the soft material sticking to his partly dried legs, he curled up on the comfortable mattress and just eyed Ken for a few moments. "Why did you never ask me to stay... I would have, had... you asked me. Did you still need your cold shower?"
"Naw, I think I can manage without one." Ken shrugged lightly as he collected his wet and bloody gear shoving the lot of it save the gun and his t-shirt into the garbage. He wrapped the gun in the shirt and kept it with him. "I just need to go grab some clothes." Noticing a bit blood clinging stubbornly to his hands, he frowned. "Maybe I should shower. I'm still... dirty. I'm gonna grab some clothes from my room and shower in here."
He returned a minute or so later with clothing thrown over his shoulder and a tray of food. "Room service. We've got chicken broth, soda crackers, and cookies courtesy of Omi-chu. You can eat while I shower or if you want to rest for a bit I can help ya eat when I get done." Placing the tray beside him on the far side of the bed, he dropped another light kiss to Aya's forehead. "I'll leave the door open. If you need me just yell. I'm not leaving your side."
Aya nodded faintly, noting that he avoided the first question but not certain what to do about it. Maybe avoiding it was just easier than the truth of the answer. He knew Ken wouldn't lie or sugarcoat the answer, maybe it was just too much to deal with right now. That he hadn't wanted him to stay. "I'll be fine..." he whispered and drew himself up into a tight ball on the bed, resting his head on the pillow, staring almost sadly at the open bathroom door. Damn that question wouldn't leave his mind...
It was a quick shower mostly just to get the traces of blood that needed a good scrubbing to wash them away. Oddly enough though he could still feel it coating his hands and still smell it on him no matter how many times he washed and wiped. "Bastard. Even in death you wont fucking leave me alone..." Suddenly he turned the taps on as hot as they would go not caring if he burned himself just wanting to sear that clinging sensation of the German's blood on his body. He let it beat down on his body until his skin started to scream from the intensity of the heat. He did scream a bit as the cold jets of water suddenly took him by surprise. Stepping from the shower he sighed softly and toweled himself off, suddenly remembering Aya's question. He scrunched his nose at the thought. The truth was so stupid. He scolded himself softly and dressed quickly.
Minutes after disappearing to shower, Ken emerged in a pair of black basketball shorts. The soft shiny type that felt like silk and spandex all at once. He would have put on his shirt had his skin not been so tender from the too hot shower. As it was he looked like he was sporting a very bad sunburn. Looking at the male curled up in the bed he moved over to him and brushed his hair softly from his face, "Aya..." He smiled, "Truth is, by the time I got up the courage to ask you were gone. I'm not so sure of which answer I was scared more of, yes or no. That's all. That's why I never asked you to stay even though I wanted to... very badly."
He glanced over at the untouched food and drink. "You want some help eating, love?"
"I never offered because... that constituted more than I thought we were and I... was afraid you'd... say no... Which is what I deserved." His violet eyes came open slowly from where he'd been napping lightly, letting the drone of the shower lull him to sleep. He'd jerked awake at the sound of Ken's yelp and opened his eyes and closed them once more, thinking he must have just imagined it. His eyes looked slowly over Ken's perfect form, blushing faintly but then he blinked, the moonlight streaming through a window not illuminating his golden skin quite right as it usually did.
"Ken! What happened...?" Ignoring the food and his own well being for a moment, his hand reached out tentatively to touch on his reddened arm. A shudder went through him as his eyes flashed angrily, paranoia setting in. Schuldich. Schuldich must have somehow harmed him and he hadn't noticed earlier because he'd been so concerned with his own pain. The reason he'd gone through all of that was to try to keep them safe. Omi, Youji, Ken... all three of them. Protecting them in the only way he knew how to, the only bit of concern he could ever show them. Just chilling logic and hard mission orientation, all done in their best interest. "What did he do to you."
"Nothing... I just had the water too hot and forgot about it. I'm all right. It'll fade it just stings a little. Really, Aya. Mastermind never got a chance to hurt me, or anyone else. Everyone's fine. Just me being my usual baka self." The hand on Ken's arm was quickly transferred to his lips, lightly kissing each digit and the rough skin of his palm and the baby soft back of his hand. His other hand reached over to touch his cheek as he smiled at him. "Really... I'll tell you what Aya... between us what's past is past. Here and now is what's important. So I'm asking you now. Can I stay here with you until you feel better?"
"You're not so baka, Ken..." he whispered under his breath. The hating chill in his eyes slowly melted under Ken's tender gaze, the warm ocean blue eyes bringing the calm he never thought to seek from another. Slightly shaking, he turned his head to shyly kiss the palm now pressed against his cheek, mouthing 'yes' into the sensitive skin.
Smiling softly, Ken climbed into the bed, suppressing a gasp and wince at his sensitive skin. Luckily the sheets were satin and cool against his skin. He sighed and pulled Aya's back against his chest then suddenly remembered his ordeal, the mental image that seemed to be burned in his memory, he turned the redhead to face him and simply looked at him a warm tender look in his eyes as his hand lay comfortably on his hip. "Aya... you hungry?"
"A little bit...." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to block out the memory of the supposed nourishment he had to 'eat' over the three days. It didn't matter he was dead now... Opening his eyes once more, he unconsciously pulled closer to Ken on the bed, feeling the warm hand just resting on his hip, asking for nothing, demanding nothing, just... there.
The younger male helped Aya sit up piling all the bed pillows behind him to keep him comfortable. The tray was then pulled to his lap as Ken snuggled up gently against his side. Spooning up a bit of lukewarm broth, the brunette giggled softly and made slow circles with the spoon along with faint propeller noises. "Flight six zero nine requesting permission for landing carrying yummy goodness for Fujimiya Aya." He giggled softly resting his head on the pillow above Aya's shoulders and touched the spoon lightly to his lips.
"..."
"Come on. Open up. And don't mock the airplane trick. It worked on me until I was ten!"
"Oh so up until yesterday?" Aya smirked faintly despite himself, reminded all too well of the time he'd gotten the flu and whined like a baby for four straight days and Ken had taken it all in stride, bringing him whatever he wanted. Until he requested exactly two shakes of cinnamon sugar on his toast and the butter be perfectly even over the perfectly cut toast and dammit his orange juice better be freshly squeezed. And why was the rose in the crystal vase on his breakfast tray wilting! Aya... sick... is a scary thing. Run if the flu bug starts going around and he coughs even once. It was almost as if the past three days had never happened... Shrugging faintly, he opened up 'the hangar'.
"Oh good god. I think we need we need to get the sweaters out. Fujimiya Aya just made a joke. We can now make well hung snowmen in hell." Laughing softly he pressed a kiss to Aya's cheek and continued to spoon feed him the broth occasionally feeding him a cracker or holding the bottle of Gatorade to his lips for him to drink. All in all Ken was utterly pampering the redhead, sneaking in occasional kisses to undamaged skin as he saw it. He sighed softly as he gazed adoringly at Aya's profile, relief flooding over him as some spark of his usual life returning into his violet depths.
"... Ran da." His voice was quiet and he swallowed the sports drink, nodding slightly for more broth as Ken treated him as most would a precious child with a cold rather than a grown man who'd spent three days in hell. Taking another spoonful of the broth, he lightly pushed the tray away, not wanting to overdo it after not having anything of any substance he cared to remember for three days. "Uh... well hung... snowmen? The snowmen I used to make were never anatomically correct."
Ken blushed. "Mine were. I think mom just about had a fit when I used her bra to make my snowman a snow wife. I was grounded for two weeks. I was eight at the time and I was bored and when they drove off there was Mr. Snowman with a rather large bulge, Mrs. Snowman with her bra showing, and baby snowman with the snow cap my grandmother gave me, orange with huge odango. Ridiculous really. Bright orange like that sweater of yours. So yeah. I got soooo busted for that and banned from making Mrs. Snowman ever again."
Ken removed the tray and set it on the floor and helped Aya to lie back down. Pulling him to face him on his side so as not to aggravate the wounds on his back, he pressed his own body closer to the taller male. "Finally. I've been dying to call you Ran ever since I heard you tell Sakura. Thank you." He cleared his throat softy and pressed a delicate kiss to Aya's abused lips. "... I love you, Ran..."
"You're so odd..." A tiny half smile touched over his bruised and cut lips as he listened to Ken's endearing story. Even though the man was now nearing twenty and that was twelve years ago, he could still see him doing that. He had a childlike quality, an innocence that no matter how many kills he made with the sharp prongs he had as Siberian would never be ruined. Actually... that little story did explain something. Now he knew why every time the four went to their winter cabin and Aya had stood on the wooden porch, watching the others play in the snow, Ken always had that sweet glow when he dug out a fraying orange hat for the snowman.
At the soft kiss, he slid his eyes closed slowly, letting the man's warmth flow around him, threatening to melt the chill that had been around him for so long. Keeping the wall of ice from building around himself, sheltering himself from the rest of the world to just hide with his shame. "Ken..."
At the sound of his name, Ken glanced up into Aya's eyes sighing with a soft smile as the dusty moonlight shone on his face seeming to erase all the bruises and cuts. His fingers brushed lightly at the tendrils about his face and curled about the silky ear tail. He pressed another light kiss against his nose before snuggling deep into the mattress. With tender motions he pulled Aya to lie on top of him. His arms curled with extreme gentleness about his body inviting the redhead to do the same. "Let's go to sleep okay? If you need anything at all, I'm right here. I'll be here for you always, Ran, like I've always been."
Violet eyes blinked in shy surprise as he was pulled atop the other male, a position he'd been in so many times in more sexual context. With the gentle embrace around him, Aya simply nodded and settled his head into the crook of Ken's shoulder and neck, inhaling the warm sweetness the male always carried about him. His arms delicately wrapped about Ken, letting the constant comfort Ken exuded lull him into a much-needed sleep. Until his eyelids drooped shut, he kept his gaze on Ken's face, just staring at the one he never thought would be so kind to him despite everything he'd done and had done to him.
"Oyasumi, Ken."