Disclaimer: Final Fantasy belongs to Squaresoft, so do nearly all the characters I use. Thanks to Elysia Erianthe (read her stories) for helping with several ideas and the name of the chapter, which is a pun on Pokemon's Team Rocket. Part of this chapter was inspired by a Scary Movie trailer. And Devaka is mine! You can use her as long as you ask me, but I don't know why you would…
Bad Zell! No hotdog for you!
Chapter 3: Rocket blasting off at the speed of light!!
Selphie skipped outside the Garden. She hummed to herself as Irvine followed behind. Some of the other students were outside.
"La la la… heeey! A chocobo!"
A huge yellow bird ran up to Selphie. Irvine scratched his head.
"I didn't think there were any chocobo forests here…"
Selphie hopped onto the animal's back.
"Go chocobo, go!"
Irvine ran in front of the chocobo.
"Selphie! Be careful!"
The bird lunged forward. The girl on it's back nearly squealed in delight.
"Whooo-hoooooo! Faster!"
After a few minutes Selphie returned to see a small crowd consisting of Squall, Zell, Rinoa, Fujin, Rajin, and Seifer around the area where the chocobo appeared. She then noticed Irvine lay face down with a large footprint on his back. Fujin pointed at his motionless body.
"DEAD."
Zell poked the dead boy with a nearby stick.
"I wanted to kill him…"
Irvine slowly pulled himself and weakly spoke.
"N-no. I'm fine…"
"We've got to like hide the body ya know!"
Irvine stood up, holding his hands up protectively.
"I said I'm alive."
Zell ran back inside the Garden and back out in the Raganok.
"Everybody in! We'll dump the body in the ocean!"
The entire group, including Selphie and her chocobo, piled inside, dragging Irvine with them. Zell flew the ship over the ocean. Irvine struggled so much it took Squall, Seifer, and Rajin to push him into the deep water below. Seifer looked over the edge at Irvine's body floating face down.
"That's just like a person you'd be hanging out with, Squall. Annoying even when they're dead."
"Guys! I'm still alive!!"
Zell turned to everyone.
"Let's get back before the faculty suspects anything!"
Irvine floated helplessly as he watched the Raganok starting to leave. Rinoa walked up to Selphie and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I know you must be devastated to loose Irvine like that."
"Huh? Oh yeah, devastated. Isn't my chocobo pretty!"
***
Moments later, the Raganok landed back at Balamb Garden. Everyone involved in the body hiding went back outside and acted as though nothing happened. Selphie hopped back on the chocobo.
"What should I name her?"
Zell approached the creature and stroked its neck.
"I dunno."
"I know! I'll name her Rocket!"
Rocket, with Selphie still on her back, bounded away toward the road. As the chocobo ran faster the girl became more and more excited. Then a wrecked car appeared in the distance. Curiosity got the best of the brunet and she decided to investigate.
"Ooh, super uncool…"
Selphie peeked inside the car where she saw a woman dressed in a long, but nearly skin tight, black dress with red tinted sleeves. A headdress decorated with four bullhorns and streams of red ribbon sat slightly askew on her head. The door on the driver's side of the car was wide open and a young man attended the woman.
"Sorceress Devaka! Are you alright?"
"Oh, find someone for me to pass my powers on to!"
"But Sorceress-"
Selphie hadn't been listening to the conversation.
"Are you okay?"
Devaka beckoned the girl to come closer.
"Are you willing to receive my powers?"
"Um…"
The sorceress raised her hands above her head, waved her arms, and made a motion as though she was throwing something at Selphie.
"There. You are now a sorceress."
"Um…"
The young man scratched his head.
"But Devaka, you're going to be okay."
Devaka sulked.
"Ah, fudge bunnies!"
Selphie had realized what all she could do with her new found powers and was busy doing a little victory dance.
"Whoo-hooo! I'm gonna go blow something up."
Devaka passed out.
***
Irvine's body drifted to shore. He didn't move.
***
Zell waited at the Garden entrance. Selphie had been gone for a while; he was getting worried. Suddenly, he saw a big ball of fire near the forest. He jumped on his t-board (yes he keeps it with him at all times) and rushed to the scene. There he found Selphie cheering with Rocket complacently standing nearby.
"Uh… Selphie?"
Selphie turned to see her friend, who was a bit confused.
"Hi Zell! I'm a sorceress now! Isn't it cool?!"
The boy tried to speak, but all that came out of his mouth was incoherent noises. Selphie stepped closer to Zell, who was still making no sense.
"Hey! Sorceresses are suppose to have knights, right?"
The male SeeD tried to respond but choked again. He decided to nod.
"I guess Irvy should be my knight. Where did he go?"
Zell choked once again. Had she really forgotten that Irvine was dead? He managed to clear his throat and spoke with the most sincere voice possible.
"Selphie, Irvine is dead."
"Oh yeah, we dumped him in the ocean…"
Irvine dragged his wet and ragged body up to the feet of the SeeDs. Selphie sat on Rocket and pouted.
"No, I'm here Sefie…"
"Now who's going to be my knight?"
"I said I'm right here."
Nearly three minutes passed with no one speaking. Selphie hopped up excitedly, one foot landed on Irvine's head, pushed his face into the dirt and knocked him unconscious. The brunet girl pointed at the blonde young man.
"I have an idea! You be my knight!"
Zell jumped back.
"Whaa-"
"Please Zell?"
He knew there was no way he could resist the girl. She held her hands together and cocked her head to the side slightly.
"She's just too cute. I can't turn her down…"
Selphie bit her lip in mock disappointment at Zell's silence.
"Okay, I'll be your knight."
Selphie jumped up and down happily and clapped her hands.
"Yay!!"
She then took on a more serious tone.
"Okay, your first job is to…"
He listened intently.
"Find me a new wardrobe!! My yellow dress just isn't… sorceressy enough."
Both conscious teens turned toward the forest as a rustling sound appeared. Devaka moodily stopped through the greenery wearing only a knee-length, black slip. The headdress was now completely removed, revealing the ex-sorceress's shoulder length blonde hair. Devaka carried the rest of her clothing in her arms. She stepped toward the Selphie, slightly unwieldy due to her four-inch heels. She stumbled and fell on Zell. She stood again, brushed herself off and stood proudly. She handed the clothes to the girl.
"Here. I don't need these anymore."
"Um, thanks. But what are you going to wear?"
"Maybe we could trade?"
"Okay!"
Selphie stepped into the thicket and emerged a few minutes later wearing the sorceress's attire. She carried the headdress in her left hand and the yellow dress in the right. Devaka slipped the dress on with her slip hanging out by about one and a half feet. Devaka stumbled away as Selphie inspected her new outfit.
"Zell, can you help me with my hair? I'm really not sure what to do with it."
Seifer suddenly popped up out of nowhere. He spoke with an overly excited voice.
"Did I hear somebody say they need help with their hair?"
Selphie held her upturned locks protectively and backed away slowly.
"Um… heh, that's okay… I just don't want a hermaphrodite like you fixing my hair! Who knows what you'll do!'"
Seifer gloomily wandered away. Zell's jaw had dropped and remained there.