Disclaimer: Final Fantasy belongs to Squaresoft, so do nearly all the characters I use. Thanks again to Elysia Erianthe (read her stuff) for all the help and putting up with all the times I freaked her out.
Bad Zell! No hotdog for you!
Chapter 4: This time it will be… Rinoa on PCP!
Seifer wandered all the way back to Balamb Garden. He couldn't wait to find Rajin. After disappointments like this he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him. Seifer walked to the dormitory and to Rajin's room. He slowly opened to door.
"Rajin, honey? OH MY GOD!!!!!"
Fujin quickly covered herself with Rajin's sheets. Rajin jumped out of the bed. Seifer had fallen to his knees in anguish.
"Rajin, WHY? I loved you…."
Seifer began to sob as Rajin approached him.
"I'm sorry ya know!"
Seifer looked up with tears streaming down his eyes.
"She's your sister for heaven's sake!"
"If she was your sister you'd have sex with her too ya know!"
Seifer's crying ceased as stood.
"What do you mean? I have sex with her anyway."
Fujin stood and advanced the two young men.
"IDEA."
Rajin ran to the cabinet.
"I'll get the PVC pipe ya know!"
Seifer plopped despondently on the bed, and unintentionally sitting in the, um… wet spot.
"But B.F.T. is gone… We have to get a new gerbil and name him… um… A.F.T.! Rajin, go find a new gerbil. Fujin, you're naked so let's take advantage of that fact!"
Rajin happily skipped away, knowing he would get a "special treat" from Seifer after getting the gerbil.
***
Selphie looked down at her new outfit. She swayed slightly under the weight of the headdress.
"What do ya think?"
Zell thought her hair looked odd sticking out from under the headdress like it was. She certainly looked good in that dress though…
"Uh… you still need to do something about that hair and the brown boots really don't match, but other than that…"
Selphie lifted the headdress off and inspected it.
"I'll just have to figure out how to use magic to put it up. I'll try that now!"
Selphie replaced the horns and stood silent for a minute. Zell began to lean forward slightly in anticipation; his eyes widened more the longer he waited. Selphie raised her arms; a bluish glitter appeared about her as a bright light surrounded her. She stepped out of the light again with her hair entirely concealed. Her eyes were lined with black and red faded from the lids to her eyebrows. Her lips were painted a dark crimson. Her calf-high boots had turned gloss black.
"How does it look."
She was answered with Zell's silence. His eyes widened at the sight of Selphie, now a vision of sorceress dignity. A few cute incoherent noises escaped the boy's throat.
"I never noticed how sexy she is…"
Selphie pouted a little at his speechlessness.
"Is it that bad?"
Zell tried to say 'no,' but it came out as a little choke. He slowly shook his head.
"That good, huh?"
The male SeeD nodded, his eyes inadvertently falling from her face to her low-cut collar. Selphie sensed this and nonchalantly crossed her arms, pretending not to notice. Zell realized she'd crossed her arms a little too high and knew she had noticed what he was staring at. He looked into her eyes and with his vocal chords finally unparalyzed, he spoke.
"You look very… nice. Yes, very nice."
"Uh huh… Just don't have any wet dreams about me, okay?"
"Um… okay."
Zell grinned devilishly and nearly gave the sorceress a SeeD salute, paused, then settled for a military one.
The dirt and chocobo filth covered Irvine crawled up behind Zell. The brunette boy felt threatened that Zell was a knight, and he wasn't. And worse of all, Zell was knight to his girlfriend. He reached up and knocked the blond boy's legs from beneath him. In the process, Zell nearly landed on his attacker, but Irvine was quick enough to roll out of the way… and down a steep hill. He tumbled out of control until a large stone got in the way of his lower extremities just as he was facing downhill. Zell remained seated; he was feeling a bit ashamed for tripping while simply standing. Selphie simply stared at the boy.
"Damn! Why the Hell do I have to embarrass myself in front of girls like that?"
"Are you okay?"
She had unthinkingly leaned over to help Zell to his feet. Zell quickly averted his eyes upward and looked into the girl's eyes, instead of down her dress. The time it took the boy to stand was just enough for him to become lost in her shining emerald eyes. The sorceress felt herself being pulled closer to her knight, but it wasn't just that his arms were pulling, there was something else that was inside her. Suddenly the girl felt something completely different, but it was against her. Selphie had to say something, but her voice came out weak.
"Zell?"
"Yes?"
"Is there something in your pocket?
"No, why?"
"Something in your pants is poking me."
"WHAA-"
Zell turned about six shades of red and looked at his feet. Selphie playfully patted his tattooed cheek and walked toward her chocobo and jumped back on its back. She led Rocket to stand by the boy.
"You want a ride?"
Zell, who was still highly embarrassed, lifted his t-board and spoke shyly.
"S'ok. I got my board with me."
Zell turned his back to ride away, but he suddenly felt himself being pulled by the collar of his jacket from behind.
"Come on Zell! You're my knight so you're suppose to be with me at all times to protect me. You can just carry the board."
Zell started toward Rocket, then hesitated.
"Please Zell?"
Zell sighed. Maybe she really didn't care about that *ahem* disturbance earlier. The boy climbed onto the chocobo behind Selphie. He wrapped his arms around, placing his hands over her smaller ones. An odd warm feeling came over him as the rode swiftly to the Garden.
***
Squall slept silently as his door opened, letting the fluorescent light from the halls flood the room. A figure slipped in through the tiny crack and headed for Squalls bed. The figure slipped under the sheets at the foot of the bed. Squall felt something crawling on top of him and awoke. He jumped upright.
"Heheh, what's wrong Squall?"
"Rinoa! You scared me."
Squall reached to his small bedside table and clicked on a lamp. At first the light blinded him, but when his eyes adjusted he realized what Rinoa was wearing. Her underclothes and that was it.
"You walked through the halls like that?"
"I didn't want to take off more than necessary when I got here."
"…"
"What's wrong, Squall?"
Rinoa leaned forward planting a kiss on her boyfriend, square on the lips. He kissed the girl back, but began to worry as she pushed him down onto his back.
"Rinoa, please stop."
The girl giggled and reached for Squall's pants.
"AH!"
Squall was suddenly on the other side of the room with a shocked Rinoa sitting on the bed. Squall clung to the wall for dear life.
"I thought Rinoa wanted to take everything slowly. What is she doing? Wait, glazed look, increased libido, lack of rational thought… CHOCO-BOY SOLD HER PCP AGAIN!! Why does he keep selling drugs to Rinoa? I'm going to kick his ass…
Rinoa walked toward her now cornered boyfriend. She bit her lower lip seductively as she grabbed his shoulders and threw him on the bed.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHhhhhh… oh."
Quistis realized she had just woken up to realize all to her students were hiding behind their consoles.
"Sorry children, I had a very disturbing dream."
The boy who had informed her of the pen mark before stood once again.
"Instructor Trepe. We could hear you mumbling about Mr. Leonhart and Ms. Heartilly, and something about PCP that sounded sexual. There isn't any truth to this, is there?"
Horror spread across the instructor's face.
"No! Like I said, it was a disturbing dream I had as a result of sleep deprivation."
***
Irvine stepped into the entrance of Balamb Garden. He was then attacked by one hundred hungry Shinigamis. They ate his hat and his chaps. He didn't really notice, Shinigamis a pretty fast ya know. And they were pretty hungry, since Nessa-chan only feeds them bread and water. Then, Irvine's pant's fell off! But don't worry folks, he doesn't have much to hide. Xu saw this and threw him out the window, expelling for indecent exposure. Then a Shinigami flew into his face and screamed at him.
"TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE GOYAST INO BERGERAM!"
The little bat-Duo thing fluttered away.