Title: Without Wings
Author: tparker
Category: general/romance
Spoilers: none
Summary: Lee and Amanda each thinking of the other.
Season: 2nd? maybe early 3rd?
Author notes: Well, I never thought I'd do a song fic, but it was one of those that just kinda happened. :) Thanks a bunch to Vikki for patience and help beta reading for me.
Disclaimers: Not mine, dang it. The song is Flying Without Wings, by Westlife. Lyric are in italics.
Everybody's looking for that something,
One thing that makes it all complete.
You find it in the strangest places,
Places you never knew it could be.
Blowing the straggling hair out of her eyes, Amanda finished tightening the bolt she had been fighting with. Playing plumber was definitely not one of her more favorite ways to spend a sunny afternoon. 'But at least that's done,' she thought as she rounded up the tools she had been using.
Just then the front door opened with calls of "Moooooommmmmm!" echoing through the house. Amanda stood up from the fixed toilet and headed downstairs, ruefully shaking her head as the door slammed.
"Don't slam the door, dorkface".
As she passed her sons on the stairs she ruffled a head of hair, "Don't call your brother dorkface."
"How was your day?" She continued as she hugged them both, juggling the tools to keep from dropping them.
"Great! Can we go to the park and play basketball?"
"Okay, but..."
"Yah!" they interrupted as they took off running up the rest of the stairs.
"But change out of your school clothes first!" Amanda called after them.
Some find it in the face of their children,
Some find it in their lovers eyes.
Who can deny the joy it brings,
When you find that special thing,
You're flying without wings.
Lee calmly checked his mirrors as he changed lanes to catch the correct highway exit. He was on his way to Amanda's to once again get help on an assignment. At least since she had been tagging along with him, and had started picking up bits and pieces of actual agent training, she was a bit more tolerable to have around. Tolerable. 'Hmmm,' he thought, 'Okay maybe better than that.' This was a line of thought he had been burying for quite some time. Deep inside he knew that Amanda was much more than a 'tag along'.
Some find it sharing every moment
Some in their solitary lives.
You find it in the words of others,
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
Lee knew she was actually better at the job than he gave her credit for. She was better for him than he gave her credit for. She had been there for him so many times. Helping on assignments with no notice, rarely complaining. Putting up with his bad attitudes and thoughtless remarks. And he didn't have to keep her entertained like he did most of the women in his life.
'Whoa, since when did Amanda count as a woman in my life?' he thought. 'No way, of course she's not. She's Amanda. She's... she's... Amanda,' he thought again with a small laugh. She was a friend, that was all. He didn't consciously notice how her status had so easily changed from nuisance to friend. She had just kind of grown into a part of his life. A special friend. A special friend he could no longer imagine life without.
You find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life.
And when you know how much that means,
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings.
With the boys at the park and Dotty not yet home from a day of window shopping with her friends, Amanda poked around the kitchen getting a head start on dinner and planning ahead for the coming week. With foreign dignitaries due in for some big trade meetings it was sure to get busy at work.
Amanda always felt bad about her mom picking up so much of the slack she left around the house and with the boys. These were the times she had second thoughts. International spy was never on her list of 'what I want to be when I grow up'. So how did some obscure happenstance, a random chance, lead her into something that was as fulfilling to her as any dream she could imagine. It wasn't that she didn't love her family, everyone knew she did. But there was something about working with Lee.
'Uh oh, don't go there.' This job challenged a part of her to excel beyond what she had previously thought herself capable of. That was all there was to it. Lee was just a part of the job. That was it. Well, and he was her friend. And she cared about him.
'As a friend of course. It's not like I could ever be more. I've seen what he dates, and that's not me. Not that I want it to be. He's my friend. My special friend.' A small, wondering smile lit up her face as she glanced to the kitchen window. She swiftly set the cup in her hand on the counter and froze a moment, startled both by Lee's sudden appearance and by the warm look in his eyes as he watched her.
So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cause who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete.
His eyes sparkled, almost glowed, with something she couldn't define, and she was lost for a moment wondering what it would be like to see that look in his eyes, waking up together.
Lee's breath caught in his chest as he saw her through the window. God, what he would give to know what she had been thinking about, what caused the emotions that crossed her face when she thought no one was watching. What it would be like to always share her thoughts, to be the one she came to, to know the reasons for those small, secret smiles of hers.
For me it's waking up beside you,
To watch the sun rise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
The sound of a car passing on the street brought Lee back to the present. He noticed Amanda was blushing slightly and playing with the cup in her hand. She always fidgeted when she was nervous or upset. "Who upset her?" he thought angrily, ready to torture whoever bothered his Amanda. Then he realized she had seen him staring at her. With a smile and a nod he ducked away from the window and headed to the kitchen door.
Amanda also moved to the door, thinking of the swift play of emotions his eyes had just shown her. She had had enough practice at reading him to be able to follow his thoughts. His protectiveness assured her of the strength of his caring, even as she knew he wasn't yet ready to show it in other ways. She could see his heart in his eyes and hoped he would someday realize what it was trying to tell him. But she knew, and she could wait.
It's the little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
As she opened the door and looked at him, the smile radiating from her brought it's usual answering smile to his lips. If they looked a bit longer into each others eyes before they started making conversation, well, that's okay right? Friends don't always have to say something for it to be known. And they both knew they had found something special.
And it's like flying without wings,
Cause you're my special thing
I'll flying without wings.
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends,
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings