Part 3
May 4-5
Dee had not forgotten how to pack quickly. Five minutes after Zack had left the two women behind, Dee's bag was packed and situated next to the front door. The two women were seated on Dee's threadbare couch, swept clear of the various items of clothing which had been draped across the back and arms. Max was sitting on the end of the couch closest to the door, idly dragging her short nails across the thinning material stretched across the arm of the couch. Feeling a shift in the cushions, Max looked up to see Dee crawling across the distance between them.
Max sat still, allowing the touch as Dee's tongue flicked out, dragging across Max's lips. Dee drew back, her face filling the entirety of Max's field of vision. The sparkles painted across Dee's pale cheeks were clearly visible, shinning blue and gold. She titled her head, tight blue curls tumbling over one slight shoulder to hang before her. "So, you and Zack, huh?" Dee said, all sharp edges beneath her breathy inquiry.
"Yeah," Max answered shortly. She would have asked what business it was of Dee's, but the other woman's actions thus far had made the reasons for her interests plain. Super-imposed over Dee's painted face, Max briefly saw the image of the girl she had been. She remembered a small girl, seemingly delicate, with huge eyes. Dee had been still and quiet, her voice soft and hesitant even when alone with her family. Max had imagined her sister in a home filled with books, pastel colours and easy neatness. 'That's one illusion that has been rather painfully shattered,' Max thought sourly.
Dee's legs were curled beneath her. She draped her arm around Max's shoulders, head resting against Max's. "That's really, really. . . neat," Dee commented. "How'd that happen, you and Zack?"
Max shrugged, making Dee's arm shift around her shoulders. "It just did."
"Gotcha," Dee said. She drew back, arm sliding free from Max. Dee turned so that she faced her sister full on. Her face had been twisted into an overly concerned mask when Max faced her in answer to the silent prompting. "I hope you don't mind," Dee began, watching Max from beneath lowered lashes. "About me and Zack, you know. It was ages ago. Practically forgotten," Dee said, waving one hand rather vaguely.
Max's eyebrow climbed upwards and she bit back an amused trickle of laughter. "Can't say I've spent my nights awake worrying about who Zack's screwed around with before we hooked up," she answered easily. "Figure I have more checks in the 'exes' category than he does, anyway."
Dee nodded solemnly, but continued as if she hadn't paid much note as to what the other woman had said. "It was a few years ago--riding the wave, high point of my cycle an' all--you know how it goes, yeah? Didn't quite make it all the way to the end together, me and Zack--think I kinda freaked him out a bit." Dee cast a glance in Max's direction, lips curving into a grin. "Too bad, you know. I think he'd do a wicked wild if he just let himself go." Dee paused, licked her lips, waiting for a response. When none came, she continued, her voice sharpening. "Manticore really screwed us over, don't you think?"
"I've had occasion to think that myself a time or two," Max acknowledged.
"You ever really think about what we are, Maxie. I mean _really_?" Dee questioned, continuing before Max could formulate a reply. "Animal instincts. The discipline of soldiers. Tons of conflict right there--wonder how they deal when heat hits our sisters back at base," Dee giggled, high and unpleasant. "And toss all that potential conflict into the world out here, where neither the animal nor the soldier fit. . . well, it ain't pretty, is it, sis?"
"It's hard," Max said cautiously. "But you gotta deal. That's what we do, Dee--we adapt. We wouldn't still be free if we couldn't change and learn to fit into the world."
Dee leaned back into the cushions, one arm resting against the back of the couch. She fit her cheek against her palm, studying Max through slitted eyes. "You think you fit into the world, Max?" she asked, soft and amused. "Zack turned tail and ran that night 'cause I started to shake him out of the soldier and into the animal," Dee clicked her teeth. Her lips peeled back and she swept her tongue across their pointed tips. "He doesn't fit out here. I don't fit out here."
"I manage fine," Max interrupted before Dee could delve into what she thought to be Max's difficulties. She dipped her head slightly, casting a subtle glance in the direction of her watch. The minute hand dragged with infinite slowness across the white face, ticking away another brief moment.
"Worried about him?" Dee inquired, having caught Max's glance. Dee was smiling again, and Max recalled that her sister had always had an excellent grasp of time--she'd been able to mark off minutes without the use of any device. Dee's hand rose off the back of the couch, drifting towards Max. Her nails scrapped lighly against Max's neck as her hand settled against Max's shoulder. "Don't," Dee said. "Zack has done this kinda stuff for me dozens of times. He takes care of me, just like he promised. Such a _good_ boy, don't you think, Maxie, dear?"
Tired of the other X5's games, Max's response was sharp. "Still can't take care of yourself, Dee, hon?"
Dee's blue eyes went wide with surprise before narrowing. Her smile had twisted into a snarl, delicate face suddenly savage. Her fingers were twitching, tightening against Max's shoulders, nails digging into Max's skin. They were moving together, a sudden explosion of violence into the strained attempt at normalcy. Max's hands locked around Dee, and with a quick jerk she sent her younger sister flying. The rickety coffee table shattered as Dee knocked against it with great force before sliding across the floor. Dee sprung back to her feet, hands fisted before her.
"You don't know anything about me, you smug, self-important bitch!" Dee shrieked, cheeks flushed with anger.
They were circling, warily eyeing each other as they picked their way around the remains of the coffee table. "Can't say I want to, either," Max shot back. "What the hell happened to you, Dee?" Zack's image rose in her mind, sorrow etched into his face as he spoke of Dee and Ben--she hadn't wanted to know this, she hadn't wanted to see her sister broken in mind and spirit by a world that was supposed to allow them to be whole and free.
Dee was flowing forward, and for all her problems and shifts in her personality, she had not forgotten her training. They met in the center of Dee's living room, movements tight and close in the confines of the room. Blow to blow, blocking, duck and swing, strike and leap--both women fell back instinctively into the patterns drilled into them in Manticore. It had been years since Max had physically fought someone with the same strength and training as she herself possessed. She had nearly forgotten the immense difference between fighting someone of equal skill and a non-X5. Finally seeing an opening, Max lashed out, her hand connecting with the underside of Dee's chin. The other woman's head rocked back and she flew backwards, back slamming against the wall behind her.
"I hate you," Dee grunted, one hand resting against her face. "You bitch, you bitch, you fucking stupid _bitch_," Dee ground out as she slid down the wall. Her legs looked awkward and uncomfortable, bent close against her body. Her legs slowly straightened, booted high-heel clad feet sliding outwards until her legs rested flat on the ground before her. Dee's head rolled back until the crown of her head was resting against the wall. Her eyes closed, lashes dark against her cheeks. Her painted lips quivered before Dee pressed them together, holding them in a thin line.
"Dee--" Max began.
"Just shut up, Max. There's nothing I want or need to hear from you right now. Just leave me alone."
At a loss--she'd never been comfortable with displays of emotions such as this--Max turned away from her sister. Unable to bear remaining in the same room as Dee, Max moved towards the kitchen. The door to the fridge squealed as Max pulled it open, absently scanning the contents within it. She pulled out a beer, nudging the fridge door closed with the toe of her scruffed boots. Max pulled out a chair, hooking her feet around its legs. She flicked off the cap of her beer, running her thumb around the top of the bottle before she sighed and raised the beer to her lips. Not for the first time, Max momentarily wished that it was possible for alcohol to actually have some effect on her. She wouldn't have minded some help in forgetting what had just transpired.
Both women were still in their separate rooms when Zack returned. He had seen Dee first. Max could hear the rise and fall of their voices, purposely soft. She drew her hands towards her head, pressing her hands against her ears, in no mood to listen to whatever the other two X5s were saying. She could feel Zack when he stopped in the doorway, felt his eyes against her. Max sighed and took her hands away from her ears, laying them against the table-top. She lifted her head, meeting Zack's eyes. She had expected to find anger or disappointment in Zack's expression--her fight with Dee had been less than professional and had accomplished nothing, may very well have gotten them in trouble had the situation unraveled differently.
"Come on, Max," Zack said, his voice soft. She thought she saw sympathy in his eyes. 'Don't thank me yet,' Max could recall him saying when she had agreed to come with him. She wondered whether he regretted asking her to help him with their family. "It's time to go," Zack continued, holding his hand out for her. She took his proffered hand, letting Zack draw her to her feet. Zack kissed her lightly on her lips. "You did okay, Max," he said softly, warm breath against her ear.
"Did I?" Max responded, just as soft as he.
"Nobody wins with Dee. When it comes to her, this was a good day."
Zack had procured another car before returning to collect Max and Dee. It was a dull red, and the rust was less visible than had been the case with the vehicle they had arrived in. Dee had claimed the front seat next to Zack. Max hadn't commented, despite the look her sister had shot her as Max fitted herself into the mildly cramped back seat. The seats were wearing thin in the back and Max shifted uncomfortably, trying to find a position which didn't find her with a sharp object jabbing into her thighs or rear. She preferred the back-seat despite the discomfort--at the moment, she didn't trust Dee at her back.
The radio briefly roared to life at Dee's touch. Zack's hand clamped down on Dee's wrist, drawing her away from the radio. He shot her a warning look before turning down the volume, although he allowed Dee to keep the station she had chosen. Max caught sight of Dee's pout, reflected in the window. "How'd it go, Zack?" Dee asked, breaking the silence that had hung around them since they had left her former home. "With Jeff an' all. You kill the jerk?" her voice was eager, hard edged anger.
Max was behind Dee's seat, allowing her a glimpse of Zack's face. She watched a muscle twitch in Zack's jaw and swallowed back her own emotions. Max suspected that Zack's idea of how to deal with the mess which Dee had made for herself did not mesh well with her own. Their different feelings about murder had led to some heated discussions in the past. Zack had always insisted that she couldn't comprehend what measures were necessary to protect their family--Max was less than happy at the idea of facing a never ending moral dilemma so long as she remained with Zack.
Zack was looking in the rearview mirror, seeking out Max's eyes with his own. "No, I didn't kill anybody," he said, more for Max's benefit than Dee's. "But the situation is resolved," his voice was firm, demanding that both women set aside any questions arising from that comment.
Dee had caught onto the tension. She lay a gentle hand on Zack's thigh. "It's okay, Zack--we do what we gotta do."
...~*~...
They had driven nearly non-stop for days, stopping only to relieve themselves and switch seats. Time had grown fuzzy and distant to Max, the world narrowing down to the scenery flickering past her window and the presence of Zack and Dee. She no longer knew or cared as to how long they had been on the move before Zack pulled over, turning into the half-filled parking lot to a motel. The car sighed and fell silent around them. Zack pulled the keys out, letting them dangle from his fingers as he opened the door. He stepped out, allowing himself the luxury of a long stretch.
"I'll get us a room," he told them as Max and Dee emerged from the car.
Dee sat on the hood of the car, face propped in her hands as she watched Zack's retreating back. "We're going to split soon," she noted, her voice soft. "You two are gonna ride on off together, and I'll set up again, alone and wait until the next time he pops back into my life." She turned her head, finding Max who was leaning against the side of the car. Dee's face was shadowed, eyes flat and glossy in the descending darkness. "Sometimes I miss Manticore, you know," she told Max.
"I don't, not ever," Max said.
Dee's lips twitched into a humourless grin. "I figured as much, sister mine. He loves you, you realize," Dee said, turning her face towards the direction Zack had set out in once again. "I bet he came back so often that you hardly had time to miss him. He comes to me because he's responsible for me, because I'm part of the duty he's taken upon himself. Manticore is the only thing tying us together." Dee sighed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "I miss. . . being together, all of us, when we were the only thing that mattered."
Max sat on the hood next to Dee, wrapping her arms around her knees. "We care--"
Dee snorted. "'Course you do, Maxie. That's why you've been itching to get away from me ever since we set out." She followed Max's lead, drawing her knees into her chest as well, settling her chin on one bare knee. "You aren't anything like I thought you'd be, sis."
"No," Max agreed.
"I think I'd rather never have met you again."
Max hesitated a moment. "Yeah," she finally agreed. "I love you, Dee, but I don't really like you all that much."
"Uh huh," Dee murmured. She hopped towards the ground, absently running her hands across her thigh. Dee walked towards Zack, not looking back at Max. They stopped, Dee laying a hand on Zack's arm. She looked up at him, her voice soft and distant, sound rather than words to Max. Zack nodded and Dee stepped back, her hand sliding away from his arm, as if reluctant to leave its perch there. She moved around Zack, heading away.
"What's she up to?" Max asked when Zack reached her. She slid off the car, falling into step with Zack.
"She needed some air," he answered when he stopped before the door of the room that was to be theirs. "All of this has been tougher on her than I thought," Zack admitted, swinging the door open. He stepped into the room ahead of Max, scanning the room for any danger before he flicked on the light and gestured for Max to enter.
"What happened to her, Zack?" Max asked, finally speaking the question that she'd been worrying over since first meeting Dee. She stripped off her jacket, tossing it onto the foot of the bed. Max followed, dropping down as she tugged off her boots. The door to the bathroom was open, the shower in sight. Max was definitely looking forward to the feel of clean water against her flesh.
Zack shrugged. "I don't know, Max. She was like that when I found her." He rubbed at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "She'd be dead by now if I hadn't found her when I did. She's trying to get herself killed." Zack shook his head, setting aside his concerns about Dee. "Go take your shower, Max."
Max pulled her shirt over her head. She let it and her bra pile atop her discarded jacket. She shimmied out of her jeans and underwear. Zack wasn't even looking at her, Max saw with some surprise. "Join me?" Max offered, smiling slightly as she held her hand out towards him.
Zack looked up at her. "No, you go ahead."
"You sure?" Max asked, her eyebrows climbing upwards.
"I'm sure," Zack insisted.
Max left the bathroom door open a crack, both in invitation and to ensure that she could clearly hear what was happening beyond the bathroom. The water had always been hot at Manticore, she remembered as she stepped beneath the lukewarm spray. They had stood all together, naked and without any idea of embarrassment, vigorously scrubbing at bruised and scrapped skin. That memory dissolved beneath the hard rain of water against her upturned face, to be replaced by a more recent one. She could remember Zack's expression through the steam surrounding them when he had stepped into her bathroom, his desperation and pain. Max thought of what she had seen of her family thus far, what she had discovered of Zack in such a short period of time. She wondered whether he'd be able to continue much longer without cracking wide open.
Zack had once said that she kept him centered, that she reminded him that he was human and not just an X5. He hadn't truly spoken to her in days. She'd held her hand out to him, stood naked and smiling before him, and he hadn't taken her hand.
Max shut her eyes and lifted her face towards the falling water, standing still and silent beneath the steady spray.