Title: At the Edges of Mordor
Author: Drakena a.k.a. Spy Dragon
Genre: Fantasy/Humor or Romance... I don't care
Rated: PG-13 cause of all the violence and bloodshed
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the places and characters from Lord of the Rings, they all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue me, blah, blah, blah.
Note: This is a fic on LotR's most cutest and freakiest couple. (evil grin) Yep, Gollum and Shelob! This is supposed to be how Gollum and Shelob met. Read with caution, you have been warned. Now here's the fic.

He wandered near the confines of Mordor, muttering curses to himself and thinking of all the things he desired and hated. After losing his only 'companion' to a wandering Hobbit, he left the one place he called home to search for what was stolen from him. The thoughts of that terrible day for him made his cold, green eyes flicker with hatred and anger. For years, he travelled at night and hid during the day. Gollum was getting tired of searching for his Ring, but he would not give up his search until he has found it.

"We hatess it, yess," he hissed when he looked at the moon in the night sky. "That nasty Bagginss shall pay, yess, yess! Stole you, precious, and made us walk in thiss light!" Gollum walked toward a cave that looked like some useful shelter from the moonlight. The deformed Hobbit crept into the darkness silently on his hands and feet, using his excellent night vision to see where he steped. With his sharp sense of hearing and smell, he heared the awful grunts and smelled the stench of a band of Orcs.

"Precious," Gollum whispered to himself, "we must hide from those nasty Orcses!" He slipped through the shadows of the cave and hid behind a boulder. He peeked out from behind to see any sign of the Orcs. The surroundings Gollum saw were the dark walls of the cave with some black ungwe* hanging off of them. Orc voices were getting closer, Gollum withdrew himself back into hiding.

Only five Orcs were walking through the cave, quite small compared to most bands. They carried their sacks of supplies, their short, crooked swords and were clad in heavy mail. They all bore the insignia of the Red Eye. The Orcs stoped and started grunting to each other.

"Why mus' we sen' messages from da Lord to da wand'ring armies?" a small Orc grunted in bad grammar to the one in the lead.

"We mus' do wha' da Lord says," the leader snorted, "he'll punish anyone who don't obey him!"

"Com'on," another Orc yelled. "If we stay here any longer, Lady Shelob shall have our heads!"

"Alright!" the leader of the band yelled back. "Lets march!" The Orcs marched forward a few more steps toward Gollum's hiding place. Then a large, monstrous creature came out from the deep shadows of the cave and sank poison tip fangs into one Orc's neck. The other Orcs drew out their weapons for battle.

Shelob saw the Orcs charge towards her with her eight red eyes. She impaled the closest Orc's neck with one of her pioson claws and she agressively ripped the Orc's arms off. The next Orc that tried to cut her was pinned down by one of her enormous legs, even with the iron mail, the Orc's ribs were crushed by the Spider Queen's strength. Another Orc charged towards Shelob's face, slashing at thin air. Shelob knocked the sword out of the Orc's hands with her huge fangs and she bit off the Orc's head.

Gollum watched the great spider fight the charging Orcs. Every time an Orc tried to attack, the spider would break the bones and spill black blood. Somehow one Orc escaped the spider's rage and was scrambling to the exit of the cave.

"My precious," Gollum hissed, "we must helps catch those Orcses! Yesss!" The escaping Orc stumbled pass Gollum's hiding place, but never got out of the cave. Gollum pounced at the back of the Orc to make the kill. Gollum hissed, wraped his long fingers around the Orc's neck and sqeezed. The Orc made an unhealthy gurgle as blood foamed out of his mouth, he tried reaching for his sword but something pinned his arms down.

Gollum still had his feet on the Orc's arms and his hands choking the Orc. A sick crunching noise went through the cave. The Orc that Gollum attacked released a croaking noise and died from a broken neck and lack of air. Blood oozed from the Orc's mouth onto the cave floor, the eyes were like stone orbs, now all of the Orcs were dead.

Shelob spun her black silk around the torn up Orc bodies to save them so she could eat them later. She then realized that she missed one of the Orcs, that one got away while she was killing the others. Then she noticed a small, black creature dragging a dead Orc towards her. The creature seemed to have movements simialr to her own, only it had four legs when she had eight. The creature set the dead Orc in front of her and waited for her to do something. Seeing that all the Orcs were dead, Shelob hissed with satisfaction to the creature that killed the escaping Orc.

"She's pleased with us," said Gollum. "She could helps us, my precious." Shelob started hissing some message to the ancient Hobbit, it was hard to tell what the spider was saying, but Gollum somehow knew what she meant.

-Come, my servent,- was what Shelob said in her hisses. -I am your lady and you shall serve only me. You will bring me food and destroy intruders to my lair. When you bring me my meals, you will bring meat that's sweeter than the flesh of Sauron's servants.- The great spider lifted one of her front legs off the ground and set the clawed tip in front of Gollum.

Gollum crawled a little closer to Shelob until he stood a short distance from the Spider Queen. The ancient Hobbit gently grasped the tip of the spider's leg and kissed it in a gross way (not sure how Gollum does kisses, but I'm sure it's gross).

-Now, my servent,- Shelob said in her own hissing to Gollum. -Go find living creatures with sweet tasting flesh and bring them to my lair.-

"My precious shall serves Her," Gollum hissed, he felt somehow secured in this cave, and under the eyes of a huge spider. In years, he never had such a great 'friend' that wasn't a ring or himself. He finally found a friend that lived in a dark cave, had an inhuman form, and was dangerous just like him. From that day forward, Gollum still had his desire for the Ring, his hatred against Baggins, but he kept his loyalty to his lady, Shelob.

~Fin~

*Ungwe is the Quenya word for spider's web.