Title: The Package 1/1
Author: Horsey Spike
Email: horseyspike@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Everyone knows that. If they did belong to me, or any one of us, you'd know it. The song doesn't belong to me, but I'll put that at the end. Don't want to be giving away the song, do I?
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive, anyone else, ask.
Spoilers: Up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.
Summary: Angel gets a package, and it invokes memories of the past.
Classification: Angel/Spike in the past.
Author's Notes: Was listening to the radio, this song came on, couldn't help myself. Thinking of having a sequel. You tell me.
Author's NOtes 2: On regards to UAWC, I can't find the disk with the story on it, so I'm having to look in the posts on Onelist, and as soon as I'm done, I'll start writing it again. I'm just lazy at the current moment.
On to the story!
_____________________________
"Angel, this came for you." Cordelia handed Angel a package, when he emerged mid-afternoon, to the office. A small package, hardly enough to hold 3 decks of cards.
"From who?" Angel asked, shaking it slightly, and holding it up to his ear. With the business he's in, one can never be too sure...
"I don't know. No return address." Cordelia moved papers around on her desk. "If you ask me, it came from one of those crazy ladies, in thanks for such great services."
"Ugh, not those." Angel remarked. He remembered the last time that happened. A lady he had saved from a multiple vamp/demon attack sent him a pack of condoms and a bottle of wine, intentions clearly obvious.
Angel set the package down warily on Cordelia's desk, and said, "Where's Wesley?"
"Book getting. You'd think we have enough books around here..." Cordelia got up and went for some coffee. "He was supposed to take me to lunch, but he obviously forgot." She paused, then raised an eyebrow at him. "You gonna open that?" She asked, motioning to the package.
"You do it. I don't want to." Angel said.
"What? Big, old Angel afraid of a little package?" Cordelia mocked, setting down her coffee and picking up the package.
"No." Angel defended. Cordelia sent him a look. "I'm afraid of mortal women."
"Boo!" Cordelia jumped at Angel. He gave way to fright, to humor her.
Shaking his head and smiling, he nodded to the package. "Just open it."
"Yes, sir." Cordelia picked up a pair of scissors and slice the tape on the side of the box. Pulling the sides apart, she let a cassette tape slid onto the desk.
"Doesn't look scary." Angel said.
"Wait 'til you hear what's on it." Cordelia said, pushing it gingerly with her perfectly manicured nail.
"On it?" Angel asked, baffled.
"Yes, on it." Cordelia spoke like she was talking to a small child. "It's a cassette tape. It usually plays music, but this could be something more icky."
"How do I play it?"
"Angel, are you really that technologically stupid?" Cordelia asked, exasperated. Then she saw his grin. "Ooh, vampires!"
Angel then shifted his feet, and looked at her from under his lashes, "Do you have something I can play it on?"
She gave him a withering look, then, "Lucky for you, I have my Walkman in my desk." She pulled open a drawer and handed him it with a pair of headphones.
"Thanks." Angel said, heading downstairs to listen to the tape in peace. And so Cordelia couldn't mock him in his attempts to get the tape to play.
Once he figured out that Side A faced out, and debated on how to wear the headphones, (He settled for the piece connecting the earpieces to be under his chin.) he pressed play, and started to listen to the recording.
**If I fall along the way,
Pick me up and dust me off.
If I get too tired to make it,
Be my breath so I can walk.**
Angel was concentrating on the lyrics and the music, and trying to figure out who sent it too him.
[That girl from the alley, what was her name, Alicia, that passed out.]
Unwittingly, Angel's mind supplied him with an image of William, as Spike had been called then, lying on the side of the road, injured by the demon he had been fighting. Angelus had picked the fledge up, dusted him off, and took him home for some of his special care. It wasn't everyday a regular fledgling faced a demon, and survived. Angelus made William into his childe, elevating him above the rest of the minions.
**If I need some of your love again,
Give me more than I can stand.
When my smile gets old and faded,
Wait around, I'll smile again.**
Again, William came to mind, as another part of Angel's brain tried to work out who sent this.
This time, William was healthy, vibrant. Angelus had just confessed his love for the boy. That was when William had started to estrange himself from Angelus.
Angel's sub-consciences was supplying him with images of a past time, past life, with William. The pain, the hurt of those times. Then the soul had come, and William was gone for all time.
The next time Angelus had caught up with Spike, he was determined to hurt him for all the pain William had caused about 100 years ago.
**Shouldn't be so complicated.
Just hold me and then,
Just hold me again.**
Angel had given up on trying to figure out who sent the tape, and was reliving the past memories of William, and the years surrounding the time he had made William his Favored One. How Will had scorned in public, to the vampire world, that it was no big deal being made Angelus's Favorite Childe, but in private, he had been different, caring about this new status change, and loving being in the very center of his Sire's world.
How many days did they lay together? How many nights were spent feeding and fucking and loving and just being with each other? How many?
[Not enough.] Angel answered silently, wishing to be back there for one instant, to feel again the pleasure and the pain, and the happiness he had know as Angelus then.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**
Darla had scorned Angelus's affection for the young vampire, considering herself much more his equal. She dismissed William at every chance she had, so better to get alone with Angelus. Angelus was not pleased, but did not have a choice in the matter, since it was coming from his sire.
When Darla had sent assassins out to kill the boy, Angelus had had enough, and asked permission from the higher ups, mainly the Master himself, to keep Darla and her plots away from his Favored Childe. Permission had been given, and Darla, a rage overtaking her, had spread rumors, then trying to disavow Angelus, her Favorite Childe.
**If I couldn't sleep, could you sleep?
Could you paint me better off?
Could you sympathize with my needs?
I know you think I need a lot.**
The day after Dru's restoration ceremony, Angel couldn't sleep, the pain too great. He was connected to Spike in ways mortals couldn't understand, and being in such close proximity, he felt the pain of Spike being crushed under that organ. Then, when relief came, he couldn't fall asleep, fearing that it meant Spike had combusted in dust.
When he saw that Spike was alive as he could be, albeit in a wheelchair, he couldn't help the feeling of relief, that was, unfortunately, quickly overcome with dread.
Then the whole losing the soul debacle.
**I started out clean, but I'm jaded.
Just falling,
Just breaking the skin.**
Angelus had ruined any attempt at getting back together with Spike by stealing Dru's attentions away from him. Instead of being reunited with his favored childe, he was met with open hostility and anger. Angelus had over-compensated with more hostility and anger, thus creating a relentless cycle which only broke when Spike beat Angelus down with a crowbar.
The emotional bond had been broken at that moment, the moment when Spike went against everything engrained in his being, to oppose his sire, whom he was supposed to be with for all time.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**
The last time Angel had spoken to Spike in Sunnydale, he had tried his best to protect him from the Slayer's sharp, pointy stick. He figured Spike wouldn't remember it in his drunken state, and had tried not to make it too terribly conspicuous.
Angel had been reaching a turning point in his life, when he was deciding it was time to let go of Sunnydale, and move on, connecting to the important things, and moving ahead, where he couldn't bother the Slayer or her kin. His demon demanded to be reunited with William, the stint in Hell having put everything back in perspective, for not only Angel, but Angelus as well.
Angel agreed with getting Spike back, but knew there was no possible way.
**Start bending me,
It's never enough.
'Til I feel all your pieces.
Start bending me,
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in.**
In LA, with Spike after the Gem of Amara, Angel had not really ever meant to stake Spike, just rough him up and send him on his way. But being in close touch of Spike once again, Angel had let his guard down, and ended up being chained to a ceiling.
It was then, before the torture, Angel and Angelus had both realized that William was gone forever. In his place was Spike, cold, cruel, heart-less, on a quest. Angel knew that any reunion between the two was gone forever. He withstood the torture, with the knowledge it felt better then the realization he had just came too.
**Shouldn't be so complicated,
Just touch me and then,
Just touch me again.**
At Thanksgiving, Angel had sensed Spike nearby, and was surprised to see him tied up in a chair at the Watcher's apartment. He could feel the hunger pains running off Spike in waves, and wondered where it came from. Later, after Buffy had left LA, he called Giles and asked about Spike.
He had been informed on Spike's incapability to bite, and that he was getting blood, in exchange for information. Chained in a bathtub had not been mentioned. Angel had asked for reports if something changed, and when they learned about the behavior modification device that had been implanted in Spike, Angel debated with himself about whisking Spike from Sunnydale and bringing him in LA.
Reason had won over heart, saying that he didn't have room, nor need a live-in vampire room mate that might make his soul swim with the fishes. Angel settled for phone calls to check up on Spike.
Giles had never questioned, but Angel had no doubts that he raised an eyebrow or two calling so often. Angel suspected he hadn't talked to Giles that much when he lived in Sunnydale.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.
Without understanding,
Hell, I'll go there again.**
Angel wondered once more who could've sent the tape that invoked such memories of William and Spike and caused him to think about what he had so selfishly lost. Who knew them so well that they knew this song fit Angel's memories of him.
[Not on purpose, Angel, nobody knows your relationship with him that well. Nobody, except...]
Angel turned around as he heard the song nearing the end and saw Spike. Spike in all of his glory, smoking a cigarette, and leaning against the doorframe, watching him with that ever-cocky smirk.
[He sent it!] Angel's brain crowed, a happiness filling him, that he immediately squashed. He did not need to be happy now. It would ruin it. Angel wondered what would happen next.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Yeah, you're breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**
Author: Horsey Spike
Email: horseyspike@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Everyone knows that. If they did belong to me, or any one of us, you'd know it. The song doesn't belong to me, but I'll put that at the end. Don't want to be giving away the song, do I?
Distribution: SpikeNAngelFic archive, anyone else, ask.
Spoilers: Up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.
Summary: Angel gets a package, and it invokes memories of the past.
Classification: Angel/Spike in the past.
Author's Notes: Was listening to the radio, this song came on, couldn't help myself. Thinking of having a sequel. You tell me.
Author's NOtes 2: On regards to UAWC, I can't find the disk with the story on it, so I'm having to look in the posts on Onelist, and as soon as I'm done, I'll start writing it again. I'm just lazy at the current moment.
On to the story!
_____________________________
"Angel, this came for you." Cordelia handed Angel a package, when he emerged mid-afternoon, to the office. A small package, hardly enough to hold 3 decks of cards.
"From who?" Angel asked, shaking it slightly, and holding it up to his ear. With the business he's in, one can never be too sure...
"I don't know. No return address." Cordelia moved papers around on her desk. "If you ask me, it came from one of those crazy ladies, in thanks for such great services."
"Ugh, not those." Angel remarked. He remembered the last time that happened. A lady he had saved from a multiple vamp/demon attack sent him a pack of condoms and a bottle of wine, intentions clearly obvious.
Angel set the package down warily on Cordelia's desk, and said, "Where's Wesley?"
"Book getting. You'd think we have enough books around here..." Cordelia got up and went for some coffee. "He was supposed to take me to lunch, but he obviously forgot." She paused, then raised an eyebrow at him. "You gonna open that?" She asked, motioning to the package.
"You do it. I don't want to." Angel said.
"What? Big, old Angel afraid of a little package?" Cordelia mocked, setting down her coffee and picking up the package.
"No." Angel defended. Cordelia sent him a look. "I'm afraid of mortal women."
"Boo!" Cordelia jumped at Angel. He gave way to fright, to humor her.
Shaking his head and smiling, he nodded to the package. "Just open it."
"Yes, sir." Cordelia picked up a pair of scissors and slice the tape on the side of the box. Pulling the sides apart, she let a cassette tape slid onto the desk.
"Doesn't look scary." Angel said.
"Wait 'til you hear what's on it." Cordelia said, pushing it gingerly with her perfectly manicured nail.
"On it?" Angel asked, baffled.
"Yes, on it." Cordelia spoke like she was talking to a small child. "It's a cassette tape. It usually plays music, but this could be something more icky."
"How do I play it?"
"Angel, are you really that technologically stupid?" Cordelia asked, exasperated. Then she saw his grin. "Ooh, vampires!"
Angel then shifted his feet, and looked at her from under his lashes, "Do you have something I can play it on?"
She gave him a withering look, then, "Lucky for you, I have my Walkman in my desk." She pulled open a drawer and handed him it with a pair of headphones.
"Thanks." Angel said, heading downstairs to listen to the tape in peace. And so Cordelia couldn't mock him in his attempts to get the tape to play.
Once he figured out that Side A faced out, and debated on how to wear the headphones, (He settled for the piece connecting the earpieces to be under his chin.) he pressed play, and started to listen to the recording.
**If I fall along the way,
Pick me up and dust me off.
If I get too tired to make it,
Be my breath so I can walk.**
Angel was concentrating on the lyrics and the music, and trying to figure out who sent it too him.
[That girl from the alley, what was her name, Alicia, that passed out.]
Unwittingly, Angel's mind supplied him with an image of William, as Spike had been called then, lying on the side of the road, injured by the demon he had been fighting. Angelus had picked the fledge up, dusted him off, and took him home for some of his special care. It wasn't everyday a regular fledgling faced a demon, and survived. Angelus made William into his childe, elevating him above the rest of the minions.
**If I need some of your love again,
Give me more than I can stand.
When my smile gets old and faded,
Wait around, I'll smile again.**
Again, William came to mind, as another part of Angel's brain tried to work out who sent this.
This time, William was healthy, vibrant. Angelus had just confessed his love for the boy. That was when William had started to estrange himself from Angelus.
Angel's sub-consciences was supplying him with images of a past time, past life, with William. The pain, the hurt of those times. Then the soul had come, and William was gone for all time.
The next time Angelus had caught up with Spike, he was determined to hurt him for all the pain William had caused about 100 years ago.
**Shouldn't be so complicated.
Just hold me and then,
Just hold me again.**
Angel had given up on trying to figure out who sent the tape, and was reliving the past memories of William, and the years surrounding the time he had made William his Favored One. How Will had scorned in public, to the vampire world, that it was no big deal being made Angelus's Favorite Childe, but in private, he had been different, caring about this new status change, and loving being in the very center of his Sire's world.
How many days did they lay together? How many nights were spent feeding and fucking and loving and just being with each other? How many?
[Not enough.] Angel answered silently, wishing to be back there for one instant, to feel again the pleasure and the pain, and the happiness he had know as Angelus then.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**
Darla had scorned Angelus's affection for the young vampire, considering herself much more his equal. She dismissed William at every chance she had, so better to get alone with Angelus. Angelus was not pleased, but did not have a choice in the matter, since it was coming from his sire.
When Darla had sent assassins out to kill the boy, Angelus had had enough, and asked permission from the higher ups, mainly the Master himself, to keep Darla and her plots away from his Favored Childe. Permission had been given, and Darla, a rage overtaking her, had spread rumors, then trying to disavow Angelus, her Favorite Childe.
**If I couldn't sleep, could you sleep?
Could you paint me better off?
Could you sympathize with my needs?
I know you think I need a lot.**
The day after Dru's restoration ceremony, Angel couldn't sleep, the pain too great. He was connected to Spike in ways mortals couldn't understand, and being in such close proximity, he felt the pain of Spike being crushed under that organ. Then, when relief came, he couldn't fall asleep, fearing that it meant Spike had combusted in dust.
When he saw that Spike was alive as he could be, albeit in a wheelchair, he couldn't help the feeling of relief, that was, unfortunately, quickly overcome with dread.
Then the whole losing the soul debacle.
**I started out clean, but I'm jaded.
Just falling,
Just breaking the skin.**
Angelus had ruined any attempt at getting back together with Spike by stealing Dru's attentions away from him. Instead of being reunited with his favored childe, he was met with open hostility and anger. Angelus had over-compensated with more hostility and anger, thus creating a relentless cycle which only broke when Spike beat Angelus down with a crowbar.
The emotional bond had been broken at that moment, the moment when Spike went against everything engrained in his being, to oppose his sire, whom he was supposed to be with for all time.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**
The last time Angel had spoken to Spike in Sunnydale, he had tried his best to protect him from the Slayer's sharp, pointy stick. He figured Spike wouldn't remember it in his drunken state, and had tried not to make it too terribly conspicuous.
Angel had been reaching a turning point in his life, when he was deciding it was time to let go of Sunnydale, and move on, connecting to the important things, and moving ahead, where he couldn't bother the Slayer or her kin. His demon demanded to be reunited with William, the stint in Hell having put everything back in perspective, for not only Angel, but Angelus as well.
Angel agreed with getting Spike back, but knew there was no possible way.
**Start bending me,
It's never enough.
'Til I feel all your pieces.
Start bending me,
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in.**
In LA, with Spike after the Gem of Amara, Angel had not really ever meant to stake Spike, just rough him up and send him on his way. But being in close touch of Spike once again, Angel had let his guard down, and ended up being chained to a ceiling.
It was then, before the torture, Angel and Angelus had both realized that William was gone forever. In his place was Spike, cold, cruel, heart-less, on a quest. Angel knew that any reunion between the two was gone forever. He withstood the torture, with the knowledge it felt better then the realization he had just came too.
**Shouldn't be so complicated,
Just touch me and then,
Just touch me again.**
At Thanksgiving, Angel had sensed Spike nearby, and was surprised to see him tied up in a chair at the Watcher's apartment. He could feel the hunger pains running off Spike in waves, and wondered where it came from. Later, after Buffy had left LA, he called Giles and asked about Spike.
He had been informed on Spike's incapability to bite, and that he was getting blood, in exchange for information. Chained in a bathtub had not been mentioned. Angel had asked for reports if something changed, and when they learned about the behavior modification device that had been implanted in Spike, Angel debated with himself about whisking Spike from Sunnydale and bringing him in LA.
Reason had won over heart, saying that he didn't have room, nor need a live-in vampire room mate that might make his soul swim with the fishes. Angel settled for phone calls to check up on Spike.
Giles had never questioned, but Angel had no doubts that he raised an eyebrow or two calling so often. Angel suspected he hadn't talked to Giles that much when he lived in Sunnydale.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Keep breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.
Without understanding,
Hell, I'll go there again.**
Angel wondered once more who could've sent the tape that invoked such memories of William and Spike and caused him to think about what he had so selfishly lost. Who knew them so well that they knew this song fit Angel's memories of him.
[Not on purpose, Angel, nobody knows your relationship with him that well. Nobody, except...]
Angel turned around as he heard the song nearing the end and saw Spike. Spike in all of his glory, smoking a cigarette, and leaning against the doorframe, watching him with that ever-cocky smirk.
[He sent it!] Angel's brain crowed, a happiness filling him, that he immediately squashed. He did not need to be happy now. It would ruin it. Angel wondered what would happen next.
**Can you help me, I'm bent.
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together.
Yeah, you're breaking me in,
And this is how we will live,
With you and me bent.**