Title: The Gift 1/1
Author: Horsey Spike
E-mail: horseyspike@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, only the plot to which I place them in.
Distributation: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.
Summary: Sequel to 'The Package.' Spike and Angel hash out some things.
Spoilers: Everything up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.
Suggested: Read 'The Package' first. Or this ain't gonna make sense.
Author's Notes: I couldn't find a song to fit the mood of this story, so no song. Though, do let me know if you think I should do I sequel.
_______________
"You got my package." Spike said. Obviously not a question.
"Why?" Angel asked, finding his voice, after staring at Spike like he was an apparition. Not that it would stun the vampire much, but that's how he looked. Maybe like Spike was a figure from times long past.
"Well, I wanted some time away from Sunnydale. And what better place to spend it then in LA, with my dear old sire." Spike got up from where he was leaning on the wall, and walked towards Angel. "This really is a nice place you've got here. Don't think I've told you. Better then some of the things you've lived in. Could use a bit more color."
"That's the only reason you're here?" Angel hid disappointment. He thought maybe Spike came back to him. Maybe a reunion wasn't that far off.
"And I wanted to give you that song. Fits our fucked up relationship almost perfectly, doesn't it?"
"What relationship? We have a relationship?" Angel asked coolly, eyeing Spike, as he went to inspect the books.
"You sound like Demon Girl. 'We have a relationship?'" He repeated in falsetto. "Of course we have a relationship. Might not be the kind you and Slutty had, but, hmm, things change." Spike left the books, and came to face Angel again. "Ours is pain. Emotional, physical. Makes no difference."
"We had something more." Angel half-whispered.
"Not we. It was me and Angelus. You're thinking of his memories."
"Fine, Spike, it's his feelings I remember. Happy? You think you understand my feelings, just like you thought you understood Angelus's. You don't." Angel said abruptly, his hopes of getting together, even as friends with Spike, crushed again, by what Spike had said.
"Explain, then." Spike looked up at Angel with uncharacteristic softness.
"What did you really come here for Spike?" Angel said, ignoring his softly spoken request. "To torture me with the ideas of what I can't have, torment me with memories of Angelus, and the guilt I feel because of what he's done? Which one is it, Spike?"
"The reason I came?" Spike said harshly, "The real reason I came is because you're my sire. And I'm in trouble. Since this seems like too big of a problem for you, I'll just leave." Spike turned around, and strode for the sewer exit.
"Spike, wait." Angel said softly. Spike stopped, but didn't turn around. "I didn't mean to be so harsh."
"Really?" Spike voice was rough, sarcasm evident. "Because from what I heard, you said exactly what you were thinking. And you meant it."
"Let me explain." Angel said, hoping Spike would turn around. "Spike, please."
Spike slowly turned around. Angel had never said please to him before.
"Explain." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I sure as hell want to know what's going on. I come, not to hurt you, but for help, which is something I absolutely hate doing, and you turn me away. You better explain."
Angel wanted to point out that Spike always came to him to do one of the things he mentioned, but bit his tongue. He didn't want Spike storming off, after he'd gotten him to turn around. He didn't want Spike leaving him again.
Angel took a deep unneeded breath, and began. "Angelus is a big part of me. I am him. He is me. The soul is just an added thing. It controls the demon, and that's why Angelus isn't present. But I feel him, the demon, under the soul all the time. He tries to control little things, and do little evils, and it's like an internal battle between good and evil, housed in my body."
Spike listened silently, without comment. For once.
"Angelus, the demon, has feelings, just like the soul does. Albeit, slightly different, but he still has feelings. His feelings fuel me from time to time, and that is what, I think, allows me to be such a good fighter. The soul does the morals, and the demon supplies the power to fight. It works, most of the time."
Spike asked with his eyes when it doesn't work.
"It doesn't work around you. Angelus still loves you, Spike." Spike showed no emotion to this statement. "He wants to be re-united to his Favorite Childe. Around you, he is closer to the surface, fighting more with the soul. It becomes unbearable at times, and I come off as hostile."
Spike snorted softly, as if saying 'Understatement.'
"He wants you. He wants you to be his again. And his feelings have rubbed off on the soul."
"What are you saying?" Spike asked, suspicion crossing his features.
Angel took another deep breath. "I'm saying the soul loves you too."
They stared at each other for a few long minutes, saying nothing, Spike weighing the words, and Angel wondering how Spike would react to his statement.
"You know what?" Spike finally spoke. "I didn't come here for a heart-to-heart. How did it happen? I came here to be away from Sunnydale, inform you of my problem, and leave, no strings."
"I didn't mean to make strings." Angel muttered. "Have enough of them already."
"I'm leaving, before this gets too complicated. Maybe I'll stop in on some old mates before I leave LA." Spike headed for the sewer exit again.
"Spike, don't leave. You said you had a problem?" Angel held back the bitterness that threatened to override his being, that Spike didn't even remark to his statement that he loved him, except to say he better be going.
Before Spike could answer Angel, Cordelia came downstairs.
"So, how's it going?" She asked, looking expectantly from one vampire to the other. "I didn't hear any sounds of a fight, so I figured it was okay to come down."
"I'm leaving." Spike said. "Thanks for all your help, Cordelia." He crossed the room swiftly to give her a kiss on the cheek, then went back to the sewer exit and lifted the hatch.
"Leaving?" Cordelia asked, confused. "Why?"
Angel watched this, baffled. "What help? What's going on here?"
"Princess'll explain. I'm gone." Spike dropped down the hatch and pulled it closed.
Angel look expectantly at Cordelia, waiting for her to explain.
"Don't look at me! Go after him!" She motioned to the hatch. Angel went.
As soon as he hit the ground, he was pushed up against the wall by a blond vampire.
"Listen here." Spike said sharply. "I love Angelus today as much as I loved him 100 years ago, despite what he did to me and Dru's relationship. The only reason I haven't staked Soul Boy is because he shares that body with you.
"I've admired you Angel, been downright impressed at the balls you have. First dating a Slayer, then sleeping with her, and then leaving her. Not many would have the balls to do that.
"I'm not going to deny I feel an attraction to you. Whether it's because your body is the same one as Angelus's, or because of the soul is yet to be decided. But I know how easily I can fall in love with you. And I'm not sticking around so that can happen."
He let Angel go, and backed up, still staring in his eyes. "Tell Cordelia I'll come for my tape player in a couple days."
With that, he ran off down the tunnel, away from Angel, away from Angel Investigations, and away from his and Angel's feelings.
Author: Horsey Spike
E-mail: horseyspike@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me, only the plot to which I place them in.
Distributation: SpikeNAngelFic archive and anyone else I've given permission to. All else, ask.
Summary: Sequel to 'The Package.' Spike and Angel hash out some things.
Spoilers: Everything up to when they find out that it's a chip in Spike's head.
Suggested: Read 'The Package' first. Or this ain't gonna make sense.
Author's Notes: I couldn't find a song to fit the mood of this story, so no song. Though, do let me know if you think I should do I sequel.
_______________
"You got my package." Spike said. Obviously not a question.
"Why?" Angel asked, finding his voice, after staring at Spike like he was an apparition. Not that it would stun the vampire much, but that's how he looked. Maybe like Spike was a figure from times long past.
"Well, I wanted some time away from Sunnydale. And what better place to spend it then in LA, with my dear old sire." Spike got up from where he was leaning on the wall, and walked towards Angel. "This really is a nice place you've got here. Don't think I've told you. Better then some of the things you've lived in. Could use a bit more color."
"That's the only reason you're here?" Angel hid disappointment. He thought maybe Spike came back to him. Maybe a reunion wasn't that far off.
"And I wanted to give you that song. Fits our fucked up relationship almost perfectly, doesn't it?"
"What relationship? We have a relationship?" Angel asked coolly, eyeing Spike, as he went to inspect the books.
"You sound like Demon Girl. 'We have a relationship?'" He repeated in falsetto. "Of course we have a relationship. Might not be the kind you and Slutty had, but, hmm, things change." Spike left the books, and came to face Angel again. "Ours is pain. Emotional, physical. Makes no difference."
"We had something more." Angel half-whispered.
"Not we. It was me and Angelus. You're thinking of his memories."
"Fine, Spike, it's his feelings I remember. Happy? You think you understand my feelings, just like you thought you understood Angelus's. You don't." Angel said abruptly, his hopes of getting together, even as friends with Spike, crushed again, by what Spike had said.
"Explain, then." Spike looked up at Angel with uncharacteristic softness.
"What did you really come here for Spike?" Angel said, ignoring his softly spoken request. "To torture me with the ideas of what I can't have, torment me with memories of Angelus, and the guilt I feel because of what he's done? Which one is it, Spike?"
"The reason I came?" Spike said harshly, "The real reason I came is because you're my sire. And I'm in trouble. Since this seems like too big of a problem for you, I'll just leave." Spike turned around, and strode for the sewer exit.
"Spike, wait." Angel said softly. Spike stopped, but didn't turn around. "I didn't mean to be so harsh."
"Really?" Spike voice was rough, sarcasm evident. "Because from what I heard, you said exactly what you were thinking. And you meant it."
"Let me explain." Angel said, hoping Spike would turn around. "Spike, please."
Spike slowly turned around. Angel had never said please to him before.
"Explain." He said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because I sure as hell want to know what's going on. I come, not to hurt you, but for help, which is something I absolutely hate doing, and you turn me away. You better explain."
Angel wanted to point out that Spike always came to him to do one of the things he mentioned, but bit his tongue. He didn't want Spike storming off, after he'd gotten him to turn around. He didn't want Spike leaving him again.
Angel took a deep unneeded breath, and began. "Angelus is a big part of me. I am him. He is me. The soul is just an added thing. It controls the demon, and that's why Angelus isn't present. But I feel him, the demon, under the soul all the time. He tries to control little things, and do little evils, and it's like an internal battle between good and evil, housed in my body."
Spike listened silently, without comment. For once.
"Angelus, the demon, has feelings, just like the soul does. Albeit, slightly different, but he still has feelings. His feelings fuel me from time to time, and that is what, I think, allows me to be such a good fighter. The soul does the morals, and the demon supplies the power to fight. It works, most of the time."
Spike asked with his eyes when it doesn't work.
"It doesn't work around you. Angelus still loves you, Spike." Spike showed no emotion to this statement. "He wants to be re-united to his Favorite Childe. Around you, he is closer to the surface, fighting more with the soul. It becomes unbearable at times, and I come off as hostile."
Spike snorted softly, as if saying 'Understatement.'
"He wants you. He wants you to be his again. And his feelings have rubbed off on the soul."
"What are you saying?" Spike asked, suspicion crossing his features.
Angel took another deep breath. "I'm saying the soul loves you too."
They stared at each other for a few long minutes, saying nothing, Spike weighing the words, and Angel wondering how Spike would react to his statement.
"You know what?" Spike finally spoke. "I didn't come here for a heart-to-heart. How did it happen? I came here to be away from Sunnydale, inform you of my problem, and leave, no strings."
"I didn't mean to make strings." Angel muttered. "Have enough of them already."
"I'm leaving, before this gets too complicated. Maybe I'll stop in on some old mates before I leave LA." Spike headed for the sewer exit again.
"Spike, don't leave. You said you had a problem?" Angel held back the bitterness that threatened to override his being, that Spike didn't even remark to his statement that he loved him, except to say he better be going.
Before Spike could answer Angel, Cordelia came downstairs.
"So, how's it going?" She asked, looking expectantly from one vampire to the other. "I didn't hear any sounds of a fight, so I figured it was okay to come down."
"I'm leaving." Spike said. "Thanks for all your help, Cordelia." He crossed the room swiftly to give her a kiss on the cheek, then went back to the sewer exit and lifted the hatch.
"Leaving?" Cordelia asked, confused. "Why?"
Angel watched this, baffled. "What help? What's going on here?"
"Princess'll explain. I'm gone." Spike dropped down the hatch and pulled it closed.
Angel look expectantly at Cordelia, waiting for her to explain.
"Don't look at me! Go after him!" She motioned to the hatch. Angel went.
As soon as he hit the ground, he was pushed up against the wall by a blond vampire.
"Listen here." Spike said sharply. "I love Angelus today as much as I loved him 100 years ago, despite what he did to me and Dru's relationship. The only reason I haven't staked Soul Boy is because he shares that body with you.
"I've admired you Angel, been downright impressed at the balls you have. First dating a Slayer, then sleeping with her, and then leaving her. Not many would have the balls to do that.
"I'm not going to deny I feel an attraction to you. Whether it's because your body is the same one as Angelus's, or because of the soul is yet to be decided. But I know how easily I can fall in love with you. And I'm not sticking around so that can happen."
He let Angel go, and backed up, still staring in his eyes. "Tell Cordelia I'll come for my tape player in a couple days."
With that, he ran off down the tunnel, away from Angel, away from Angel Investigations, and away from his and Angel's feelings.