Insight, a roswell fanfic

Maria plopped down exhausted onto her bed. Today had been a long day. All she wanted to think about was going to sleep. And as it is, she would have to work tomorrow early in the morning. She just got home from working her 8 hour shift at the Crashdown. Thank God for cypress oil. Working on Fridays was always the worst. Especially when your best friend is making googly eyes at someone the whole night. Take a guess who. And having Czechoslovakians around all night wasn't helping either. Especially when it was him.

Him.

Maria looked up at her glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling, and saw the V constellation. Hmm...that probably was a bad idea she thought to herself. Then she started to think about Michael again. Oh, she would never get any sleep now! Why did she have to think about Michael?

Whatever happened to the old Maria? The wacky, zany Maria that everyone always loved. Alex talked about how he would have to put everything through the "Maria filter." I guess what happened to her was a space-boy named Michael. Well, and learning that three people in her high school were aliens. You would never think that something like that would actually be true. Especially in Roswell. Tourist trap extraordinaire.

She always knew Michael was special. I guess she never knew just how much he was. And the fact that someone she had a crush on ever since 5th grade, was an alien was a little hard to take at first. They had drifted over the years. Before they would always fight and come up with practical jokes together. But then they weren't in any classes together. And he was just another person in the hallways that she once knew all to well.

But then that fateful day when they drove to Marathon, she had gotten to know him again. He was still the same Michael. And she had gotten under his skin. At least that's what Liz told her.

And then, she realized. That Michael had changed her forever. She now new what love was like. She decided that she would do anything for Michael and would always be there for him. But he kept pushing her away. Never letting her close. Which really hurt. Why does she put herself through all this? He's just going to run away again she told herself. Did he even care about her? What if she had never met him? Did she make any difference whatsoever in his life as he had done to hers? Maria then decided that it was way to late. And she had work tomorrow in the morning. She had thought about Michael to much for one night. And if she didn't stop, she would start to cry. With that...Maria started to fall asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maria heard a noise in the house and suddenly woke up. Sleepily, she looked at the clock and saw that it was 10:15.

"Ah man! And I was having a good dream too! Liz is gonna kill me!" Maria got up and ran to the bathroom. Her hair wasn't too bad this morning so she just combed it quickly. Then she realized, that she forgot to change out of her Crashdown uniform last night. Liz would kill her if she didn't leave soon and her other uniforms were being washed today.

"Well, I guess I'll just look like crap today." Maria quickly grabbed her keys and antenna's and ran to the car. Speeding her way to work she saw a few people from school drive by with a strange look on their faces.

"I'd like to see how good you look with only 5 minutes to get ready!" she yelled at the group of people. Thankfully, she didn't hit any of the lights so she wouldn't be as late.

Maria ran to the back entrance of the Crashdown and walked into the employee's lounge area. She heard someone coming down the stairs, and figured it was Liz. Maria quickly tried to present herself a little better by fixing her hair a little and tried to smoothen the wrinkles in her uniform. She really wasn't in the mood to hear the speech Liz was going to give her about being late for work. Not to mention not looking presentable for work.

"Yes yes...don't even start. There's no need to give me the speech. Yes I know I'm late for work and I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about how I look but I just woke up and got ready in 5 min. You see, I fell asleep in my uniform last night cause I thought about Michael and then I got all...distracted. So I ended up going to bed really late last night because of him! My life, is never going to be normal! I swear, he just tries to mess up my life in any way possible. I mean, me knowing he's not from around here isn't enough. He just has to mess up my life some more. Which is why I think he's been coming here so much Lizzie. Just to annoy me. 'Cause he knows that him just being here makes me want to scream. And he asks me for tabasco sauce bottles all the time! I think we should charge him a lot more for those baby's cause I'm sick of having to go get him some more. Liz, are you even listening to me? I said I was sorry Liz! Don't go giving me the silent treatment like he does! Liz?" Maria had been babbling too much about Michael in her conversation with herself to even notice Liz with this look of shock on her face with her jaw dropped. All Liz did, was look at her with a blank look on her face.

"Liz. What's wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost! Your starting to freak me out. Is everything ok with Max?"

"I....." And with that. Liz fainted.

"Oh my God! Liz! Are you ok? I better call Alex." Maria put Liz on the couch and quickly looked in the cafe to see if there were any customers yet. Nope. The place was clear. Maria grabbed the phone and frantically called Alex.

"Please be home...please be home...."

"Hello?" It was Alex. He sounded.....different.

"Alex! Thank God your home! Liz just fainted on me at the Crashdown. You gotta come over here and help me!"

"Ha-ha. Very funny. You know, people like you should get a life. And while your at it, grow up! What kind of a person would do a practical joke like this?" Click. Alex hung up on her.

"What is going on with everybody? Who else should I call? I guess I'll call Max...." Maria quickly dialed Max's number.

"Hello?" Max sounded different too.

"Hi, Max? You gotta get over to the Crashdown asap! Liz just fainted!"

"Liz? Is she ok?? Wait. Who is this?"

"Maria. Who else would it be? But you gotta get over here."

"Maria?!?"

"Maybe you should use your powers or something on her to wake her up."

"Powers?!?"

"Yeah! Get over here! Now!" Click. He hung up on her too. Maria then returned to Liz's side. She just hoped that he would come over. What if there was something seriously wrong with Liz? She didn't know what she would do without her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Alex? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Hey Max. What's up?"

"You wouldn't believe the phone call I just got. It was supposedly from~"

"Maria. Yeah that jerk called me too. I mean what kind of a joke is that?"

"Yeah I know. But...whoever it was sounded really worried. Do you think something really happened to Liz?"

"I don't know. It did kinda sound like Maria but how can that be??"

"I know! And you won't believe what she said to me. She said, 'Maybe you should use your powers or something on her to wake her up.'"

"Powers?!?"

"Yeah. That's what I said. Then I hung up because it was getting too freaky. I mean, Maria never found out about us. How could she? Liz and you found out a few months after the shooting."

"Woah. That's weird. And I hate to tell you this Max, but I just checked my caller-id and the call was from the Crashdown. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah. Let's go check it out. I'll come pick you up."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maria heard the bell ring on the door of the Crashdown. Meaning, someone was here. Hopefully it wouldn't be a customer. Then she saw who it was. Max and even Alex came after all! Maria ran out front to talk to them.

"Thank God you guys came! I'm starting to get really worried. She's been out for a while." Before Maria started to babble on again, she saw the look on their faces.

"Don't you guys give me that look too!"

"It's you." Alex said strangely.

"Of coarse it's me. What's going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know." Alex sounded somewhat hostile. Maria didn't understand where that was coming from. Before they said anything else Maria dragged them both towards the back of the Crashdown. Max went immediately to Liz.

How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know. It happened right before I called Alex." Then Max touched her forehead and she started to come to.

"What's going on? Where am I?" she asked weakly.

"It's ok. Don't worry. We're here with you. Your at the Crashdown."

"You gave us a big scare Liz." Alex said.

"You wouldn't believe what I saw! I could have sworn I saw....." Liz looked up and saw Maria standing there. "Oh my God...."

"What is wrong with all you people? Did someone brainwash you or something? What is going on? You guys are getting all freaky on me for showing up to work."

"She doesn't know does she Max?" Liz said looking at Max and Alex. They all kind of shared a strange long look.

"Hello? Guys? Remember me? I'm still here..."

"Maria, what's the last thing you remember?" Alex asked her with care.

"I was um....thinking about Michael..um..last night. And..um..I fell asleep. Then I got up this morning and got ready really fast so I wouldn't be late to work. Why does that matter?" Max looked at the others.

"You were thinking about Michael? Why would you think of him?"

"Maybe because that space-boy of a 'brother' of yours broke my heart." Max looked at the others again. And they again shared a knowing look.

"Maria, when did you find out about us?"

"You mean you guys not being 'from around here?'" Max looked at them again. "Liz told me after the shooting."

"The shooting?" Alex asked showing more concern.

"Yeah..don't tell me you guys forgot. The day Liz was shot and Max healed her. The day that changed the six of our lives forever." They all looked at each other again. "Hello? Could you guys stop doing that? I'm getting really confused here..."

"Maria..I think we need to take a drive."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Here we are."

"Why are we at the graveyard? What is going on guys?" They all walked over to a grave in the corner of the graveyard. Maria just stared at it with the same blank look on her face that Liz had earlier. The grave said, "Here lies Maria DeLuca." It had the date of the shooting on it.

"Wha-what? I'm dead...how could I be dead??"

"Didn't you say in your world that Liz was shot?"

"My world? Yeah..."

"Well, here, in our world, you were shot instead. Michael and Isabel were the ones there that day. Otherwise I would have healed you. Maria, I'm so sorry." They all looked at Maria very concerned but she continued to stare at the grave. "After you died. I started talking to Liz and Alex for support. Eventually we all became good friends. And I told Liz our secret."

"But don't think that no one missed you. We were all pretty much depressed. Liz and I had to go to therapy. Our lives haven't been the same without you Maria." Alex said gently. They looked at Maria and saw that she was crying. Liz immediately hugged her.

"And this one day Liz and I were in an accident when a horse tried to cross the road. So we had to switch Alex's blood samples with mine. So, we told Alex our secret then too." Max said.

"Maria are you ok?" Liz asked gently.

"I don't know...I mean. What's going on? How did I get here?"

"You must have gone into another dimension some how." They all looked at Alex blankly. "What? Don't you guys watch 'The X-Files' or 'Sliders'?"

"Yeah, but those are TV shows." Maria said.

"Well you guys try to come up with a better explanation."

"Strange...everything kinda ends up the same way huh?"

"What do you mean Maria?" Liz asked.

"Well, that's basically what happened where I came from. You and Alex knew they're secret. Except I'm the one dead." They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Maybe we should get going. You can stay in my room, ok Maria?"

"Ok. Thanks you guys. For being there for me."

"I'm sorry for having to tell you all this Maria. This must all be really strange to hear all at once." Max said as they walked towards the jeep.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They all went into Liz's room so Maria could hide out.

"Guys, I'm really tired. I think I'll just lay down for a while. I mean, all of this has come to a shock to me. And don't you have to work today Liz?"

"Yeah. I should get going. Are you sure you'll be ok Maria?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I just need some rest is all. Can you guys stay with me? I don't really want to be by myself."

"I was planning on staying even if you didn't suggest it Maria." Alex said gently.

"It's good to see you again. Sweet dreams Maria." Alex tucked her into Liz's bed and she fell asleep almost immediately.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maria started to wake up because she heard voices. But she decided she would eavesdrop a little before she opened her eyes. She heard shouting coming from the balcony.

"What are we going to do Max? You know how he's been ever since the shooting!" Was that Isabel? Was Isabel actually concerned over her?

"I know Isabel. But I had to call him. He would have never forgiven us if I didn't call." He?

"Well, you didn't see him the day of the shooting! He's going to flip out once he sees her!" Maria was getting interested in where this conversation was going.

"How was he the day of the shooting? You never really told me."

"Let's just put it this way. He beat Liz getting to her side." Then there was a long pause. "I've never seen him like that...he was holding onto her and sobbing. He wouldn't even let Liz or the paramedics touch her body."

"Not even the paramedics?"

"She was already gone by the time they got there. But Max. He was sobbing. And I mean *sobbing*."

"Oh my God. I don't know what I would do if that happened to Liz..."

"And you've seen him since. He's a been wreck ever since that happened." Maria felt someone touch her gently and she jumped a little.

"Hey are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine Alex." Maria didn't even notice that someone had entered Liz's room. "How long has she been asleep?" Was that who she thought it was? But he sounded so...different. Sort of....lost.

"For awhile now. She's been through a lot. Do you want to be alone with her?"

"Yeah, I'd like that." Michael was stroking her hair. Maria felt bad for listening to all of this, but...she wanted to know how he felt. Lord knows he wouldn't tell her in person.

"Hey guys! Michael's here." She heard Alex try to whisper to them on the balcony. She smiled. Alex always had a loud whisper. She didn't know what to do. This Michael wasn't her Michael. Yet, he was touching her so gently like he was afraid that she would break. She lade there in silence for a long time while he just sat there touching her hair. Maria was shocked to hear him actually talk.

"Do you know how long I've waited to actually do this again? Just to play with your hair?" He sighed a little. "I haven't been able to do that since 5th grade. But it isn't the same without you yelling at me for doing this. Boy are you a sight for sore eyes." Maria couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this Michael totally different from her Michael? Michael never talked lovingly like this. That was more of a Max thing. Well, this was a different world she told herself. With a different Michael in it. She then felt her eyes begin to tear up at the thought of never seeing her Michael again. No, I can't cry, she told herself. Not even in front of him, even though he wasn't her Michael. 'I've gotta be Teflon' she kept telling herself.

"I dream about you all the time you know. It's like we're in a different world. We always fight but that's the way we are. It's how we understand each other. And we're always so happy in the dreams. I know, and you know that your the only one for me. Only I can't have you. At least not while I'm awake. Do you know how often I sleep, just so I can be with you? I never want to wake up. But then I do and I have to realize that I can never have you. Why Maria?" The way he said her name just made a chill go up her spine. "Why did you have to leave me? Why can't I use my powers?! Then you would really be here. Mine, to hold forever. I doubt you would spend your days with me though. I'm just some loser. I've never been worthy enough to be with you Pixie Girl." 'Don't say that...'she thought to herself. Don't put yourself down. She hated it when he did that. Stop it Michael. Stop it. But Maria didn't say anything. She just continued to cry softly on the bed.

"I cried so much when you went away. More than I have ever done before. To see you, lying there. With no life at all. You were always so animated, you had all this energy, this life. That's what I loved about you." Maria then realized, that Michael was crying too. Oh God, she didn't want to put him in more misery. That was the last thing she ever wanted him to do. To have any pain whatsoever. And this Michael had no one to turn to when Hank turned violent she realized. This, made Maria cry a little more. And Michael continued to caress her hair.

"I painted you you know? I've never painted anything so much before. Your all over my room. And I have so many drawings of you too. That I've drawn over the years. I keep them in boxes under my bed. They're all I have left of you...the real you. My Maria." Maria's heart was aching. She felt terrible. This Michael was just like her Michael. He need someone to hold just as badly as hers did. Her Michael would never have the courage to tell her all of this in person though. Which was why she never heard this from her Michael. Maybe he felt this way too...

"You know, I'm beginning to sound to much like Maxwell. I'm a hypocrite you know that? I always would yell at Max for caring so much about Liz over all those years. And then later on those days, I would go home and draw you. If I wasn't such a screw up, then I would be good at my powers and I could have saved you. The way Max saved Liz in your world. And then, I would get to know you again. But then I would realize that you've never changed. That your just like you are in my dreams. But, you would never want to know me. I'm this guy from the other side of the tracks. Who's life majorly sucks. And I've got all this baggage...and..history. You wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life with me. But I would care about you, always and forever. Even if I would run away from something like this, which I probably would. Nothing ever good happens to me, so I run. I get afraid." This was sounding all to familiar Maria decided. "But even if I run I'd still care about you so much it hurts. Just to be able to touch you again makes it all worthwhile. I'll have my Maria back for a little while anyway. And then, I would tell you that I lo~"

"Hey Michael. You've been in here awhile. We thought that you had enough time alone with her. How's she doing?"

"I don't know Maxwell..." Maxwell always had good timing. But it didn't matter. It's not like she heard him or anything. He's becoming too much like Maxwell he decided. He would never tell her that when she was awake. It would be to weird and embarrassing. It's not like she felt the same way as he did anyways.

"Is she crying?" Uh-oh. Great. Thanks a lot Isabel. Ruin my disguise. Reality suddenly hits Michael. She could have heard what he just said. At least the end of it.

"I gotta go." And with that, Michael ran out of the room.

"See, I told you seeing her was too much for him Max."

"Are you ok Maria?" Alex asked.

"Yeah..I'll be fine. I just...just...uh...was thinking about home is all." She said as she sat up. Reality then hit her. Her Michael felt the same way as this Michael. Their worlds were barely different at all. Why would this be different? Just this Michael wasn't as hostile. This one was more hurt and sad. You could totally tell the difference in his voice. He definitely sounded lost. This was what Maria decided was the difference between the Michaels. But, Michael still, in both world felt the same way about Maria.

"Hey Maria. My shift is finally over so we can finally have some girl talk." Liz said as she entered the room and plopping down on the bed.

"So Maria. What's it like where you come from? What are we all like?" Isabel asked. Max then shot her a look. "What? I'm curious."

"Hmm...let's see. Where do I start. Liz was shot instead of me. Max healed her so she learned the secret. She then told me. Max and Liz are dating now. Isabel and Alex are dating. Which you know is happening here too....and MichaelandIweredatingbuthebrokeupwithmeandbrokemyheart." Maria said in a rush.

"What was that last part?" Max said confused.

"Michael and I were dating but he broke up with me and broke my heart. He didn't want to hurt me. He said he had to be a 'stone wall' and alone. We still fight though, which, you know, is how we communicate."

"Wow! Our world's must be totally different then."

"What do you mean Max?"

"Michael would do anything just for you to talk to him. I can't imagine him acting that way."

"Well, Max, Michael is impulsive, headstrong, and hostile sometimes." Isabel said very matter of factly.

"Yeah...but. You know how he is with Maria. Michael would never fight with her."

So, this Michael would treat her differently Maria realized. He wouldn't fight with her or annoy her. How could that be? Maria couldn't imagine Michael not acting that way around her. It suddenly hit Maria. Both Michael's felt the same way towards her, but this Michael would never want to upset her on purpose. Maybe it's because he had already lost her...and then he lost himself. Max and Isabel said he had changed after the shooting. Maria suddenly missed her Michael a little more. She missed their banter and fights. But he did love her she told herself.

"Well I think that my Michael feels the same way as this one does. Of coarse that could be wishful thinking on my part. He just would never admit it if his life depended on it."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maria had spent the night at Liz's talking about everything. Isabel even joined them for their little girls night. They mostly talked about their lives in their worlds. What happened after the shooting, etc.

"So basically, the only difference really between these two worlds are, Michael, and me being shot."

"Seems that way. Michael would never fight with you or act the way you say yours does."

"Yeah, Liz, but he does care about me. He just doesn't want to hurt me and he's scared."

"Liz!" The three girls looked toward the balcony and saw Max standing there.

"Man, he's got it bad." said Isabel. Liz climb out her window onto the balcony.

"Hey, Max. Anything wrong?"

"No, just that Michael really wants to talk to Maria. Can they go for a walk or something? You know how much he cares about her. He just wants to get to know her a little. Sorry for asking you this Liz. I know you miss her too."

"I understand Max. It's ok. You don't have to explain. I'm sure he was hurting more than I was after the shooting. I'll go ask Maria."

"Hey Maria? Do you wanna go for a walk with Michael? He's outside right now."

"Uh, sure. Just let me change."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So."

"How are things going dorkbutt?"

"What?"

"Uh..nevermind. Must just be a my world thing." They walked in silence for a bit. "So, If your not going to say anything. I'm heading back to Liz's." Maria started walking away.

"Ok. If that's what you want." But then she stopped.

"Wait. Just 'ok.' That's the best you can do?"

"What do you want me to say?" Michael said gently.

"Well, I expected a little arguing, friendly banter. A come back that I could respond to.

"But you said you wanted to go..." Michael said with care.

"Yell at me! Please! This whole nice conversation we're having is killing me! Come on! Let's have a fight!"

"What is wrong with you? Why would you want us to fight? I just want to be with you." Michael said tenderly.

"Gahh...stop being so nice." Maria then went back to Liz's. She was right, this Michael didn't want to fight with her. And as much as it sounded weird, she missed fighting with him. She had gone one day without seeing her Michael. Everyone else here was the same as they were on her world, so she didn't really miss them.

"Hey guys. I'm back."

"That was fast. What happened?" Isabel asked.

"He wouldn't fight with me or anything and it was to weird. So, I had to get out of there. No matter how much they both feel about me, he's not my Michael." Maria said sadly.

"Well, it's getting pretty late guys. Maybe we should get some sleep." Liz said.

"Yeah, today has been one long weird day." Maria said while going into her sleeping bag. "Good night you guys."

"Good night."

"Hey, Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming here to our world. It was good to see you again."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Maria woke up sleepily and didn't know where she was. She looked around are realized that she was in her bed.

"What the? How did I get here?" Maria saw a post it on her mirror saying, 'Note to self: wake up early tomorrow 'cause your working the morning shift.' It must have been a dream...one weird long dream she thought to herself. Maria looked at the clock and saw that it was past 10 o'clock.

"No...Liz is gonna kill me!" Maria got out of bed and realized that she had fallen asleep in her uniform. She quickly grabbed her keys and antennas and ran to her car.

While driving to the Crashdown, she noticed that people from her school in another car were looking at her weird.

"Ok..this is getting a little freaky..." she said to herself. Maria ran to the back of the Crashdown and heard Liz start to come down the stairs. Maria quickly tried to smoothen the wrinkles out of her uniform.

"Liz, you wouldn't believe the dream I had last night! It was so weird! In the dream I woke up and hurried to work and then you fainted and Max and Alex told me that I was the one who was shot in September instead of you Lizzie. Are you listening to me?" Maria noticed this strange look on her face. Oh no! Not again she thought to herself.

"Uh..." Liz still had that look on her face. Then suddenly, she started to laugh hysterically. "Uh Maria, did you look at yourself in the mirror this morning?"

"No. Why? I was in such a hurry that I must have forgotten to." Liz was still laughing at her. Then Liz dragged her to a mirror.

"You uh, forgot to comb your hair and your lipstick is all smudged on your face."

"Ah!" Maria took the brush Liz had in her hand. "No wonder those people from school were looking at me weird! Liz, what am I going to do? My hair is all messed up!"

"Maria, relax. Here, just comb it like this." And Liz fixed her hair for her. Maria started to wash her face.

"What were you talking about earlier? Something about a dream?"

"Oh yeah. It was really weird and messed up!" Jose then walked through the employee's lounge and smiled at them. "I'll tell you all the details later. But, in sum up, I was shot in September instead of you. And Michael was all sad and depressed." She whispered.

"Wow. That's some dream. But your right. You can tell me all about it later. We have customers demanding alien themed greasy food."

"Ok, ok." They walked into the Crashdown and even though Maria didn't look like herself, she still looked ok. With the help of Liz of coarse. Oh, if Michael had only seen her before Liz fixed her up. He would have had a field day. It would have a made a great fight she thought to herself. And Maria remembered, that she was now home, with the people she cared about. This made her smile. Then she remembered her dream and thought, did Michael really feel that way about her? And with that, Michael walked into the Crashdown and sat in her section of coarse.

"What's with you? Your not usually this cheery in the morning."

"I had a weird dream that made me think of a few things is all. So, what do you want?"

"Hmm...The usual. And with tabasco sauce of coarse."

"Why do I even ask? You always order the same thing every time." And Maria left the table to go get Michael his cherry coke and a bottle of Tabasco sauce. And when he thought she wasn't looking, she saw that he was staring at her. A long, intense stare. His eyes told it all. She smiled to herself. Maria figured dreams do show a little insight into your lives.

The End