Disclaimer: Well, well, guys, I had strong temptation to make whole
story actual bluff, but action/adventure part overpowered. I'm still not
sure it's a best decision, so let me know what do you want-real adventure
or just little prank. Have fun and please review!
Chapter 4: Whatever is left.
When you eliminate all the impossible explanations, whatever
is left is your goddamn answer…no matter how crazy it looks.
Mr. Holmes/Mr. Randy
First beams of sun met Randy halfway to his car. He stretched, yawned,
and took a good breath of chilly morning air. Morning was the only more
or less pleasant part of day in Cairo-after stiffing hot night and before
stiffing hot noon. In the morning, when the shadows of minarets and cypresses
crossed empty streets, when the rosy glints sparkled in the glass of narrow
windows, and aroma of fresh coffee floated over small street cafes-then
it was a nice place to live. Randy smiled absently, pulled the crumbled
packet of cigarettes from his pocket, took one, inhaled the stinky smoke…and
all the paradise of morning Cairo crashed with big loud thud. Damn, they
even didn't have Pal Mal down here!
*****
The night was pure Hell, including laments of sinners (this part was played perfectly by the wounded curator), plunging in abyss and a lot of bullshit. Curator related to Mr. Holmes (i.e. Mr. Randy) and Dr. Watson (i.e. Dr. Bovenue) terrible story, with walking mummies, ancient curses and even one volcano crater, which was the exact location of notorious Hamunaptra. Dr. Bovenue was intrigued enough to pull the old dusty map of Egypt from the drawer and unfortunate curse-keeper showed them the spot where the story began. It looked like he tried to persuade Mr. Randy to help O'Connell, but Julian thought better of it.
Then curator informed them about horrible fate of Egyptologist and Mr.
Daniels. Randy didn't believe one word, so he awakened the diligent police
officer Abdullah Ibn Rahmalla in the middle of the night, and searched
the Sharia el-Salibah street, not without success. Two more mummies were
added to Dr. Bovenue's collection, to the last's great rapture. Then on
their way back to the hostel Randy felt enormous craving for a cigarette,
so he nearly frightened the cigarettes-shop owner to death, drumming in
the door at 3 AM. When the desired item was obtained, it turned out to
be a cheapest and most stinky stuff he ever tried, which again subjected
the merchant's life to the frightful danger, and only presence of two sulky
Arab policemen restrained Julian from homicide.
******
When Dr. Bovenue finished his jubilation about new mummified guys and surly policemen cleared out, Randy put his feet on the table, kindled abominable cigarette, which filled the room with greenish fumes, and started to make conclusions.
"Well, Watson, what do you think about this bullshit?"
Dr. Bovenue, mildly surprised by instant change in his surname, replied:
"I don't know. And I don't think it's exactly…well…khm…this kind of thing. I've heard the legend before, and all these anomalous miracles, it looks very suspicious "
"Yeah, it does look suspicious. But I don't give a shit for all this mummy blubbering. I am sure you graduated some university or medical school or whatever, didn't you? And do you still believe it? I don't think so."
"Well", grumbled the meritorious doctor with distinct trace of irritation in his voice. "Then how would you explain the thing?"
"Oh, that's simple. As I've said, the main point is the treasure"
" I didn't hear a word about any treasure yet"
"Of course you didn't. Because the friends of this guy" he waved carelessly at curator, who had fainted again after their conversation." Because they were not the lucky bastards who have found the golden fish. It was their company" he nodded at four mummified corpses, peacefully piled in the corner.
Doctor smiled with obvious disbelief, and muttered:
"If so, no much luck they'd got from their gold"
"Opposite, my dear doctor!" drawled Julian, looking annoyingly smug. "You still didn't get the point, did you? Want some clues? Well, here is the first one- are you sure that these nice mummies indeed belong to Burns, Henderson, Daniels and their educated guide, this Egyptologist guy?"
"What do you mean?" asked Bovenue, crinkling his brow.
"But that's simple! Look, they are mummies, pretty dry, nasty and ancient at first sight. So why did you decide that they are not what they do looks like ? Say, some guy with lack of respect to dead pulled those beauties out of their dusty sarcophaguses, put on them clothes of our dear friends and left them to rest in our friends' rooms. Looking like a nice joke, doesn't it?"
Dr. Bovenue pondered a little, then nodded reluctantly "Yes, it might be possible"
"Oh, you see it now. The question is, who really needed to organize the show. And the most obvious answer is that our guys themselves are the most interested persons. If they found something in the desert, looking behind their shoulder to keep the O'Connell's party out of the business, what would be the most reasonable thing to do at the first place? Say, you have the treasure and you have other hunters who are eager to put their hands on it. The first thing to do is to get rid of them. And how? Simple-minded people would kill them on the spot, end of the problem. But our guys weren't the simple-minded ones, oh not. They decided to scare the shit…"
At that point Bovenue interrupted "Stop, stop. What about Mr. Burns? He was from Egyptologist's party, but he was blinded and his tongue was cut…"
"Doesn't matter!" Julian rejected doctor's objection impatiently. "May be the guy was too talkative or too honest and wanted the fair play. I don't know. They just showed their nature the first time, and judging by the bludgeon they were planning to organize on the market it was not the worst of their tricks. But you'll see.
"So, they played all this nice mummy show. By the way, I'm sure that the girl who had found the sarcophagus belongs to their gang. Look, they picked her on the market, to go back to Hamunaptra with them, and it was her idea to read idiotic book. Brilliant scenario, even I didn't get them at once"
Smug smile flashed on Julian's face again, and doctor felt instantly a strong urge to kick the guy's ass.
"Our birdies fled back to Cairo, screaming blue murderer. But now Henderson's gang need their hands untied, to come back and pick the gold. So what have they done? They simply died, one by one. No one is going to disturb their peace anymore! And at the same time they scared the last O'Connell's wits off his head, pretty good job. But, being an idiot, he didn't stop. I'm sure the girl tried to get rid of him, something like "I caused the problem and I'll do with it on my own". But, of course, this nitwit stayed here, messing their nice scheme. Now they decided that's time for wet work, a bit of harshness adorning the nice ornament. I'm sure they've brought part of the gold with them, so they hired all those bastards, don't know where did they pick them, may be in the nearest hospital for leprosy guys, judging by their abominable snouts. Anyhow, the one real murder was going to take place on the bazaar…"
But the adept of medicine interfered again
"What about the man curator described? He certainly wasn't one of your fictional gang's members. And I don't think that resurrected decomposed mummies are easy to walk into, even here in Cairo"
"And who saw him decomposed? Curator said that he had glimpsed a tall shaved man with dark tan, wearing old black robes. Well, shave me and give me robes, tan and height I've got already, and you'd get the description of your ill-fated mummy. May be he is an actor in local theater or something like that. Or may be he's just lady's boyfriend, may be he simply wanted to do some good for his beloved, hey. Come on, say I' right."
"And sun eclipse? Meteorite raining?"
"Haven't you ever read "Yankee at Arthur's court"? Don't keep saying
this rubbish, man, I thought better about you.
By the way, the funniest thing is that O'Connel's friends are still
keen to get the girl back, which I'm pretty sure contradicts with her plans.
So they are gonna get killed, no doubts"
It seemed that the power of Randy's imagination made the good doctor surrender at last, because he stared and asked " And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Aren't you going to help them?"
"Why?"
"Well, O'Connell is American, it's your job to get strayed American citizens out of troubles"
"Hmm" muttered Randy, gazing at the puffs of smoke absentmindedly. Actually,
it was precisely the thing that he was going to do. Only not out of his
loyalty and love for strayed American souls. The ghostly haze of golden
radiance kept wavering in front of his inner eye. The treasure. It was
the main stake in this intricate game, and he was an addicted gambler himself.
*******
Dr. Bovenue waved him farewell from the hostel entrance, and yelled "Please be cautious, Mr. Randy!"
Mr. Randy grinned broadly "Cautious is my middle name"
Then he jumped in his car (he forgot completely that it was actually
Embassy car and that Mr. Dannerwort wouldn't be too much pleased walking
on foot down the dusty Cairo lanes), honked the horn and drove toward the
UK Military Airforce airfield.