Bridge Over Troubled Water
By Burning_Tyger
Summary: No matter what, Obi-Wan is always there to comfort Amidala, even when he needs solace as much as she does. (Set to the Simon and Garfunkel song)
Pairing: Focus is on Obi/Ami, but not romantically
Rating: PG-13 for language and violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Obi-Wan, Anakin, Amidala, or their children. I don't know if Obi-Wan had any, but I know if he did they're not mine. (Hm, that wording can be taken two different ways. *evil grin*) I understand that fanfiction by definition is illegal, but George, do you REALLY want to piss us all off by suing? Think of all the fans you'd lose...fans who will probably on average see your next two movies four times apiece. You do the math...Yep, I thought you'd see it our way. :)
Author's Note: I am probably WAY behind on the Episode II rumors (The only "mill" to which I've paid any attention lately is of the red wind variety), so this may or may not be AU. This is my take on Obi-Wan and Amidala's relationship over three key events in their lives.
**One last little thing: I pictured Obi-Wan actually singing the song, just because I know he can do it and it would sound wonderful. I didn't write it out that way, though. Thus, you can interpret it however you like.**
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Burning_Tyger
**Just after the battle on Naboo**
The battle had been won, the debris cleared away. A celebration was to be held in the Palace. It was depressing how, in the face of so many deaths, the living found time to rejoice in victory. Enjoying themselves in the face of such recent carnage, suddenly the human race seemed to me little more than savages.
And through all the laughter and triumph and music, there wove a pattern of underlying loneliness, a sorrow that I alone appeared to feel.
I, and perhaps one other. A shadow stood by the edge of the garden pathway, clearly not wanting to be noticed by anyone. And I'd have let them be, had I not known who it was.
"Is something bothering you, Your Highness?" I asked.
She smiled, but her eyes did not mimic the expression. "Only what is bothering everyone tonight. But they all hide it...why can't I? I should be an example to them: unshakable, strong. So why do I feel so broken?"
I didn't know what else to do. Qui-Gon would have known; he was good at comforting people -- people like me. I never knew his ease with others.
I took her hand. "Do you think maybe this is the example you should be setting? That instead of a goddess, they need a real person to be their leader? Someone with mortal emotions, someone who seems *real* to them."
She looked up at me in the moonlight, so much a child and so much a woman. "Do you think so?"
I nodded. "I would never give you false counsel, Your Highness."
"My name is Amidala. I would be honored if you would call me by it."
"Amidala. I would never lie to you, no matter what your name. I will always be here, and I will tell you the truth."
Again, the youth in her voice. "Is that a promise, Jedi Kenobi?"
"If I am to call you Amidala, you must call me Obi-Wan."
"Then Obi-Wan, is that a promise?"
"It is."
She sighed. "Do you really believe this will be all right? I sent people to their deaths today, and they went willingly. They *trusted* me, and even though they knew the risks, I feel so responsible. It hurts."
"I know," I replied sadly. "Any death hurts, but a death for which you feel responsible...it's so much worse."
She nodded, saying nothing, but I knew she understood. I felt as guilty over Qui-Gon's death as she did over the deaths of her soldiers.
"Does the ache ever fade?" she asked tremulously. A tear rolled down her cheek. She seemed so innocent now, looking up at me without the makeup of state. I tried to smile, but I knew from her vantage point, it looked like what it really was: a grimace.
"I honestly don't know," I whispered. "It doesn't seem that it will, does it?"
She shook her head mutely, and with a sudden dry sob she turned to me. I held her while she wept; my own tears could wait.
When you're weary,
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all;
I'm on your side.
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
**Eleven years later**
"Highness?"
She stood framed in the doorway, face shrouded by her black hooded travelling cloak. "Obi-Wan," she murmured desperately. "You're the only one-"
My heart froze. "Anakin?"
She nodded. "I - he vanished..."
"Come in, Amidala." I stood aside to let her pass me. "Where did he go?"
"How should I know?" she bit out harshly. "He - he got angry, and then he was gone."
"Don't hold things back!" I shouted. "You don't have to hide from me."
She hesitated, and on a sudden whim I reached out and pushed her hood back. A bruise stood out on her cheekbone, violet against skin so pale it looked like State makeup. I knew it hadn't been an accident, no matter what story she told. Someone had hit her.
And to know who that someone had to have been...
"Yes," she whispered, "it was Ani."
It took everything I had to control the betrayal I felt, the horror, the fury. Anakin - how could he have done such a thing? We had given him so much, and now this.
I had to go after him. My plans had not gotten so far as to mention what I would do when I found him, but I knew where to start: Tatooine.
"You want to kill him," she said quietly into my thoughts. "Don't. Oh, Obi-Wan, don't hurt him."
"He hit you," I growled. "Why should I show mercy to one who could do that to you?"
She smiled. "He made a mistake, Obi-Wan. No one is exempt from failure, and - and I still love him."
"You *love* him? After - "
"I love you both and I couldn't stand to set the two of you against each other. I have a bargaining chip that might help, something that could bring him back to me."
I suppose I had some idea of what she was going to say before she said it.
"I'm pregnant. Twins."
The brief happiness I knew I felt for her was doused instantly by the situation. "You mean he hit you - *knowing* you were pregnant? I'll kill him if he did, I swear I will."
"No! He couldn't have known. I was going to tell him, and then...I'm still going to tell him, but I have to find him and only bring it up when I know it will do the most good. It might be the only thing that can bring him back to us."
"I won't let you go after him. Not in your condition."
She smiled softly. "You won't be able to stop me, Obi-Wan."
"The children: for their sakes. Your responsibility is to them before Anakin."
"I'll be safe. I'm just so scared...Oh, Obi-Wan, what if I'm too late? What if I can't bring him back?"
There were no tears this time, the only real sign that she had changed in the past eleven years. But the fear and the sorrow mixed in her soul like fire and ice, and I couldn't let her leave feeling like that. So I held her, waiting and wishing until she felt ready to go. "He will come back to us someday," I told her softly. "I know he will."
When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
She didn't find him. She came home, hurt and depressed, no closer to locating her errant husband than when she had started.
The children abated that sorrow somewhat. Luke and Leia, two gorgeous little babies, as strong as their mother and with their father's Force powers. They were the only ones that could make her smile.
It broke my heart to take them away.
I had to. Word had been received that Anakin, or Darth Vader (a Sith name -- my padawan had taken a Sith name) was searching for Amidala. He didn't know about the children, and there was no reason to believe he'd be inclined towards mercy if he found them. It certainly didn't sound like he was planning to show mercy to his wife.
We took Luke to my brother on Tatooine, and Leia to a mutual friend named Bail Organa. When the time came for her to leave each of them, she kissed them and whispered, "Only for a time. I'll be back to get you very, very soon." They looked up at her with the innocent, loving gaze that all babies seem to share.
I felt a chill as she said it to little Luke, but I attributed it to the cooling Tatooine night. I wish I hadn't done so.
~~
I hid Amidala away on Coruscant, and this time it was I who went after my wayward padawan. She still begged me not to hurt him, but I knew I could make no promises. If Anakin refused to come back with me, he was too great a danger to the galaxy for me to let him live.
I prayed she would understand.
I found Anakin on Tatooine. His mother had died just before he'd gotten there, and in a fury he had killed Watto and half the other slavers in Mos Espa. He would have justified it if necessary: the people were free, so what did it matter? Why worry about the methods when the end result is what you wanted?
But he was too far gone to bother justifying it. When he noticed me trailing him, he fled into the desert, waiting until we were well away from the city before turning to confront me. He kept one hand close to his lightsaber hilt, taunting me in an attempt to goad me into drawing saber.
"Nothing you've done for her will work. You are too trusting, Master. You've said nothing to me, but I now know exactly where you've hidden Amidala...I'll be sure to rectify that loose end as soon as possible."
"Anakin, she's your wife! You loved her, why would you want to hurt her? She kept asking me not to hurt you, just to let you go, because she still loves you."
"But there's something else you're not telling me. Something about *her*..."
Was he going to find out about the children? No, I had buried that thought too deeply in my mind to let him see it clearly. But he knew I was hiding something, and he would draw his own conclusions.
"You *bastard!* Damn you, Kenobi, you've been sleeping with my wife!"
The force of his anger literally pushed me back a step. "No, I haven't! Ani, what are you talking about?"
"That's what you won't tell me! Stop trying to pretend it's not true - you had sex with her and she - she *cheated* on me!"
"And falling to the Dark Side was of course in no way cheating on *her.*"
"Shut up. You'll both pay for that little affair, but I think her first. It will do me good to see you as you watch her suffer, I think."
I finally drew my lightsaber. "I won't let you do that, Anakin."
He laughed. "You can't stop me." Without drawing his saber, he extended his hands in front of him. I expected an attack, so I raised my saber into guard position.
I didn't expect him to target the cliff face behind me. Something above my head seemed to explode, and on instinct I threw myself to the side. I avoided most of the rockfall, the part that would have killed me, but a jagged piece of rubble struck the back of my head.
Everything went black, and the last thought I had was of Amidala, how she wouldn't know until it was too late...
~~
I awoke with no sense of how long I had been unconscious. It could have been fifteen minutes, it could have been twelve hours. The sky was dimming with the suns-set, though: it had been more than two hours.
And two hours was a significant head start. I could make it to Coruscant in five hours; if Anakin had a better ship, he could already be there. Amidala could already be -
I had to get to her. I dug myself out of the prodigious pile of debris, ignoring how badly my head hurt, and that I was bleeding from half a dozen shallow gashes where other rocks had struck me.
I set off as quickly as I could (a limping jog) for my ship; there was an audio comm unit in there, and I could use it to warn her.
I sent the ship into hyperspace, plotting the quickest possible route to Coruscant before I picked up the comm. I was afraid of what I might not hear - or what I would.
The connection clicked; I didn't even wait for a greeting. "Amidala, listen to me. Anakin got away from me, and he knows where you are. You have to get out of there. Get to the Jedi Temple and claim sanctuary. If you're there, he can't hurt you. Understand, Amidala?"
"Amidala?" mocked a cold male voice. "Why, there's no one here by that name. I believe you have the wrong frequency, sir."
All the breath left me; it was worse than being caught in his avalanche. It took me several seconds to make myself speak. "A-Anakin, don't hurt her. You don't know what you think you do; there's been a misunderstanding-"
"What's to understand? You had an affair with my slut of a wife. Seems pretty clear to me. She's going to die for that, and you'll get to watch."
"Ani, I never even had a *romantic* relationship with Amidala. I would never have done anything that would drive the two of you apart."
"Liar," he replied flatly. "But I haven't done anything to her yet. Tell him you're all right, bitch."
Amidala's voice on the line now. "Obi-Wan, don't risk this. You know what you have to do, go find-" There came the sound of a blow, someone falling, and Amidala whimpered in the background.
I squeezed the comm so tightly I was sure I would break the casing. "You bastard, don't you *dare* hit her! She's your wife-"
"And your plaything. Do hurry, Obi-Wan. We're waiting, and you know I'm not a very patient person."
The connection was gone.
I was furious and terrified at the same time. He had hit her; what more would he do before I got there? And when I did get there, what was to say I could stop him from hurting her more?
Every second I spent on this ship was another second Amidala was his prisoner, another second of Anakin's 'patience' wasted. I couldn't get to Coruscant fast enough.
~~
When the proximity warning rang, I was more fearful than relieved. Was I already too late? Had Amidala told him about the twins in an attempt to bring him back? If she had, had he left her unconscious or -- I couldn't even think of it -- and then gone after them?
I jumped off the landing ramp before it had fully extended; I don't even think I turned the repulsors off. Every ounce of my concentration was on getting to Amidala's hideaway in time, and on what I would do when I got there.
Should I tell Anakin about the twins? It could bring him back, knowing that he was a father.
Or perhaps it would further enrage him, leading him to think that the twins had been mine. And I couldn't risk the lives of two innocents on the off chance that I might be able to save my padawan, and Amidala from him.
But could I live with myself if she...was hurt, knowing I held my trump until the hand was lost?
Outside her door lay the corpses of the two guards I'd had posted. The bodies seemed unharmed, but I didn't need to look closer to tell that they were indeed corpses. If Anakin had seen fit to kill two guards rather than simply stunning them, he was either insane or reckless, and either rendered him a very dangerous man, indeed.
The door slid aside just as I reached it. Anakin stood in the doorway, a thin veneer of innocence coating the malicious satisfaction at seeing me here. He shrugged. "Sorry, I got tired of waiting." He brushed past me into the hall, striding quickly for the turbolift.
I will never be certain that I made the best choice: I could go after Anakin, perhaps saving the lives of others...
Or I could walk in that door and find Amidala, who without a doubt needed help. I decided in a split second, and I will carry the weight of that decision until I die.
I let Anakin go and stepped over the threshold. "Ami? Amidala!" I stood still for a moment, hoping to hear even the softest call. What I finally picked up was just a desperate gasping from the bedroom.
Nothing in my life has ever been more difficult than approaching that door. Every nerve in me sang with tension, and the desire to run away from what I was going to see grew with each step.
The door opened in front of me, entirely against my will.
Amidala lay on the floor, a deep gash in her side. "Stars, no!" I whispered, but it came out nearly a sob. I knelt by her, lifted her head into my lap as she tried to speak.
"He doesn't know - you didn't tell him about the twins?" she asked, terror in her eyes.
"No, no. Shh, don't try to talk. I'll call the healers at the Temple-"
"Don't bother, Obi-Wan, they'll not make it in time. I - I wouldn't mind so much if only the children..."
"I'll take care of them, Amidala. When you're better -"
"You promised me once you'd never lie to me -- don't start now."
"It's not a lie, it's a plan, a - a future..."
"It's a dream, and we both know it. I just wish - I wish I could know the children. I want to see them grow up. Oh, Obi-Wan...I don't want to die!"
She cried hopelessly in my lap, and I could do nothing at all to help her. I could only watch as she slipped away from me.
"You'll make sure Bail and your brother know?" she asked, reaching shakily around to hold my hand. "Promise me, Obi-Wan."
Hadn't a deathbed promise gotten me in trouble once before? Hadn't it gotten me the padawan who had just mortally wounded his wife, the padawan who was currently fleeing through Coruscant?
It didn't matter; there was nothing I could do but agree. I would have promised her anything in the galaxy if only it meant that she would live.
"I promise. I'll watch out for the twins, love. And - " my voice broke, threatening to give out on me, but I hadn't cried in more than ten years, and I wasn't about to start now. "And I'll tell them about their mother," I finished in a whisper.
She smiled weakly, her grip on my hand weakening every second. "You called me 'love.'" She sounded delighted in such an unconscious term of endearment, strangely so considering the situation. "Anakin...he never called me that."
I sat there with her. All I could do was cradle her, comfort her, as death crept slowly into the room.
Sail on, silvergirl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine.
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
By Burning_Tyger
Summary: No matter what, Obi-Wan is always there to comfort Amidala, even when he needs solace as much as she does. (Set to the Simon and Garfunkel song)
Pairing: Focus is on Obi/Ami, but not romantically
Rating: PG-13 for language and violence.
Disclaimer: I do not own Obi-Wan, Anakin, Amidala, or their children. I don't know if Obi-Wan had any, but I know if he did they're not mine. (Hm, that wording can be taken two different ways. *evil grin*) I understand that fanfiction by definition is illegal, but George, do you REALLY want to piss us all off by suing? Think of all the fans you'd lose...fans who will probably on average see your next two movies four times apiece. You do the math...Yep, I thought you'd see it our way. :)
Author's Note: I am probably WAY behind on the Episode II rumors (The only "mill" to which I've paid any attention lately is of the red wind variety), so this may or may not be AU. This is my take on Obi-Wan and Amidala's relationship over three key events in their lives.
**One last little thing: I pictured Obi-Wan actually singing the song, just because I know he can do it and it would sound wonderful. I didn't write it out that way, though. Thus, you can interpret it however you like.**
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Burning_Tyger
**Just after the battle on Naboo**
The battle had been won, the debris cleared away. A celebration was to be held in the Palace. It was depressing how, in the face of so many deaths, the living found time to rejoice in victory. Enjoying themselves in the face of such recent carnage, suddenly the human race seemed to me little more than savages.
And through all the laughter and triumph and music, there wove a pattern of underlying loneliness, a sorrow that I alone appeared to feel.
I, and perhaps one other. A shadow stood by the edge of the garden pathway, clearly not wanting to be noticed by anyone. And I'd have let them be, had I not known who it was.
"Is something bothering you, Your Highness?" I asked.
She smiled, but her eyes did not mimic the expression. "Only what is bothering everyone tonight. But they all hide it...why can't I? I should be an example to them: unshakable, strong. So why do I feel so broken?"
I didn't know what else to do. Qui-Gon would have known; he was good at comforting people -- people like me. I never knew his ease with others.
I took her hand. "Do you think maybe this is the example you should be setting? That instead of a goddess, they need a real person to be their leader? Someone with mortal emotions, someone who seems *real* to them."
She looked up at me in the moonlight, so much a child and so much a woman. "Do you think so?"
I nodded. "I would never give you false counsel, Your Highness."
"My name is Amidala. I would be honored if you would call me by it."
"Amidala. I would never lie to you, no matter what your name. I will always be here, and I will tell you the truth."
Again, the youth in her voice. "Is that a promise, Jedi Kenobi?"
"If I am to call you Amidala, you must call me Obi-Wan."
"Then Obi-Wan, is that a promise?"
"It is."
She sighed. "Do you really believe this will be all right? I sent people to their deaths today, and they went willingly. They *trusted* me, and even though they knew the risks, I feel so responsible. It hurts."
"I know," I replied sadly. "Any death hurts, but a death for which you feel responsible...it's so much worse."
She nodded, saying nothing, but I knew she understood. I felt as guilty over Qui-Gon's death as she did over the deaths of her soldiers.
"Does the ache ever fade?" she asked tremulously. A tear rolled down her cheek. She seemed so innocent now, looking up at me without the makeup of state. I tried to smile, but I knew from her vantage point, it looked like what it really was: a grimace.
"I honestly don't know," I whispered. "It doesn't seem that it will, does it?"
She shook her head mutely, and with a sudden dry sob she turned to me. I held her while she wept; my own tears could wait.
When you're weary,
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all;
I'm on your side.
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
**Eleven years later**
"Highness?"
She stood framed in the doorway, face shrouded by her black hooded travelling cloak. "Obi-Wan," she murmured desperately. "You're the only one-"
My heart froze. "Anakin?"
She nodded. "I - he vanished..."
"Come in, Amidala." I stood aside to let her pass me. "Where did he go?"
"How should I know?" she bit out harshly. "He - he got angry, and then he was gone."
"Don't hold things back!" I shouted. "You don't have to hide from me."
She hesitated, and on a sudden whim I reached out and pushed her hood back. A bruise stood out on her cheekbone, violet against skin so pale it looked like State makeup. I knew it hadn't been an accident, no matter what story she told. Someone had hit her.
And to know who that someone had to have been...
"Yes," she whispered, "it was Ani."
It took everything I had to control the betrayal I felt, the horror, the fury. Anakin - how could he have done such a thing? We had given him so much, and now this.
I had to go after him. My plans had not gotten so far as to mention what I would do when I found him, but I knew where to start: Tatooine.
"You want to kill him," she said quietly into my thoughts. "Don't. Oh, Obi-Wan, don't hurt him."
"He hit you," I growled. "Why should I show mercy to one who could do that to you?"
She smiled. "He made a mistake, Obi-Wan. No one is exempt from failure, and - and I still love him."
"You *love* him? After - "
"I love you both and I couldn't stand to set the two of you against each other. I have a bargaining chip that might help, something that could bring him back to me."
I suppose I had some idea of what she was going to say before she said it.
"I'm pregnant. Twins."
The brief happiness I knew I felt for her was doused instantly by the situation. "You mean he hit you - *knowing* you were pregnant? I'll kill him if he did, I swear I will."
"No! He couldn't have known. I was going to tell him, and then...I'm still going to tell him, but I have to find him and only bring it up when I know it will do the most good. It might be the only thing that can bring him back to us."
"I won't let you go after him. Not in your condition."
She smiled softly. "You won't be able to stop me, Obi-Wan."
"The children: for their sakes. Your responsibility is to them before Anakin."
"I'll be safe. I'm just so scared...Oh, Obi-Wan, what if I'm too late? What if I can't bring him back?"
There were no tears this time, the only real sign that she had changed in the past eleven years. But the fear and the sorrow mixed in her soul like fire and ice, and I couldn't let her leave feeling like that. So I held her, waiting and wishing until she felt ready to go. "He will come back to us someday," I told her softly. "I know he will."
When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
She didn't find him. She came home, hurt and depressed, no closer to locating her errant husband than when she had started.
The children abated that sorrow somewhat. Luke and Leia, two gorgeous little babies, as strong as their mother and with their father's Force powers. They were the only ones that could make her smile.
It broke my heart to take them away.
I had to. Word had been received that Anakin, or Darth Vader (a Sith name -- my padawan had taken a Sith name) was searching for Amidala. He didn't know about the children, and there was no reason to believe he'd be inclined towards mercy if he found them. It certainly didn't sound like he was planning to show mercy to his wife.
We took Luke to my brother on Tatooine, and Leia to a mutual friend named Bail Organa. When the time came for her to leave each of them, she kissed them and whispered, "Only for a time. I'll be back to get you very, very soon." They looked up at her with the innocent, loving gaze that all babies seem to share.
I felt a chill as she said it to little Luke, but I attributed it to the cooling Tatooine night. I wish I hadn't done so.
~~
I hid Amidala away on Coruscant, and this time it was I who went after my wayward padawan. She still begged me not to hurt him, but I knew I could make no promises. If Anakin refused to come back with me, he was too great a danger to the galaxy for me to let him live.
I prayed she would understand.
I found Anakin on Tatooine. His mother had died just before he'd gotten there, and in a fury he had killed Watto and half the other slavers in Mos Espa. He would have justified it if necessary: the people were free, so what did it matter? Why worry about the methods when the end result is what you wanted?
But he was too far gone to bother justifying it. When he noticed me trailing him, he fled into the desert, waiting until we were well away from the city before turning to confront me. He kept one hand close to his lightsaber hilt, taunting me in an attempt to goad me into drawing saber.
"Nothing you've done for her will work. You are too trusting, Master. You've said nothing to me, but I now know exactly where you've hidden Amidala...I'll be sure to rectify that loose end as soon as possible."
"Anakin, she's your wife! You loved her, why would you want to hurt her? She kept asking me not to hurt you, just to let you go, because she still loves you."
"But there's something else you're not telling me. Something about *her*..."
Was he going to find out about the children? No, I had buried that thought too deeply in my mind to let him see it clearly. But he knew I was hiding something, and he would draw his own conclusions.
"You *bastard!* Damn you, Kenobi, you've been sleeping with my wife!"
The force of his anger literally pushed me back a step. "No, I haven't! Ani, what are you talking about?"
"That's what you won't tell me! Stop trying to pretend it's not true - you had sex with her and she - she *cheated* on me!"
"And falling to the Dark Side was of course in no way cheating on *her.*"
"Shut up. You'll both pay for that little affair, but I think her first. It will do me good to see you as you watch her suffer, I think."
I finally drew my lightsaber. "I won't let you do that, Anakin."
He laughed. "You can't stop me." Without drawing his saber, he extended his hands in front of him. I expected an attack, so I raised my saber into guard position.
I didn't expect him to target the cliff face behind me. Something above my head seemed to explode, and on instinct I threw myself to the side. I avoided most of the rockfall, the part that would have killed me, but a jagged piece of rubble struck the back of my head.
Everything went black, and the last thought I had was of Amidala, how she wouldn't know until it was too late...
~~
I awoke with no sense of how long I had been unconscious. It could have been fifteen minutes, it could have been twelve hours. The sky was dimming with the suns-set, though: it had been more than two hours.
And two hours was a significant head start. I could make it to Coruscant in five hours; if Anakin had a better ship, he could already be there. Amidala could already be -
I had to get to her. I dug myself out of the prodigious pile of debris, ignoring how badly my head hurt, and that I was bleeding from half a dozen shallow gashes where other rocks had struck me.
I set off as quickly as I could (a limping jog) for my ship; there was an audio comm unit in there, and I could use it to warn her.
I sent the ship into hyperspace, plotting the quickest possible route to Coruscant before I picked up the comm. I was afraid of what I might not hear - or what I would.
The connection clicked; I didn't even wait for a greeting. "Amidala, listen to me. Anakin got away from me, and he knows where you are. You have to get out of there. Get to the Jedi Temple and claim sanctuary. If you're there, he can't hurt you. Understand, Amidala?"
"Amidala?" mocked a cold male voice. "Why, there's no one here by that name. I believe you have the wrong frequency, sir."
All the breath left me; it was worse than being caught in his avalanche. It took me several seconds to make myself speak. "A-Anakin, don't hurt her. You don't know what you think you do; there's been a misunderstanding-"
"What's to understand? You had an affair with my slut of a wife. Seems pretty clear to me. She's going to die for that, and you'll get to watch."
"Ani, I never even had a *romantic* relationship with Amidala. I would never have done anything that would drive the two of you apart."
"Liar," he replied flatly. "But I haven't done anything to her yet. Tell him you're all right, bitch."
Amidala's voice on the line now. "Obi-Wan, don't risk this. You know what you have to do, go find-" There came the sound of a blow, someone falling, and Amidala whimpered in the background.
I squeezed the comm so tightly I was sure I would break the casing. "You bastard, don't you *dare* hit her! She's your wife-"
"And your plaything. Do hurry, Obi-Wan. We're waiting, and you know I'm not a very patient person."
The connection was gone.
I was furious and terrified at the same time. He had hit her; what more would he do before I got there? And when I did get there, what was to say I could stop him from hurting her more?
Every second I spent on this ship was another second Amidala was his prisoner, another second of Anakin's 'patience' wasted. I couldn't get to Coruscant fast enough.
~~
When the proximity warning rang, I was more fearful than relieved. Was I already too late? Had Amidala told him about the twins in an attempt to bring him back? If she had, had he left her unconscious or -- I couldn't even think of it -- and then gone after them?
I jumped off the landing ramp before it had fully extended; I don't even think I turned the repulsors off. Every ounce of my concentration was on getting to Amidala's hideaway in time, and on what I would do when I got there.
Should I tell Anakin about the twins? It could bring him back, knowing that he was a father.
Or perhaps it would further enrage him, leading him to think that the twins had been mine. And I couldn't risk the lives of two innocents on the off chance that I might be able to save my padawan, and Amidala from him.
But could I live with myself if she...was hurt, knowing I held my trump until the hand was lost?
Outside her door lay the corpses of the two guards I'd had posted. The bodies seemed unharmed, but I didn't need to look closer to tell that they were indeed corpses. If Anakin had seen fit to kill two guards rather than simply stunning them, he was either insane or reckless, and either rendered him a very dangerous man, indeed.
The door slid aside just as I reached it. Anakin stood in the doorway, a thin veneer of innocence coating the malicious satisfaction at seeing me here. He shrugged. "Sorry, I got tired of waiting." He brushed past me into the hall, striding quickly for the turbolift.
I will never be certain that I made the best choice: I could go after Anakin, perhaps saving the lives of others...
Or I could walk in that door and find Amidala, who without a doubt needed help. I decided in a split second, and I will carry the weight of that decision until I die.
I let Anakin go and stepped over the threshold. "Ami? Amidala!" I stood still for a moment, hoping to hear even the softest call. What I finally picked up was just a desperate gasping from the bedroom.
Nothing in my life has ever been more difficult than approaching that door. Every nerve in me sang with tension, and the desire to run away from what I was going to see grew with each step.
The door opened in front of me, entirely against my will.
Amidala lay on the floor, a deep gash in her side. "Stars, no!" I whispered, but it came out nearly a sob. I knelt by her, lifted her head into my lap as she tried to speak.
"He doesn't know - you didn't tell him about the twins?" she asked, terror in her eyes.
"No, no. Shh, don't try to talk. I'll call the healers at the Temple-"
"Don't bother, Obi-Wan, they'll not make it in time. I - I wouldn't mind so much if only the children..."
"I'll take care of them, Amidala. When you're better -"
"You promised me once you'd never lie to me -- don't start now."
"It's not a lie, it's a plan, a - a future..."
"It's a dream, and we both know it. I just wish - I wish I could know the children. I want to see them grow up. Oh, Obi-Wan...I don't want to die!"
She cried hopelessly in my lap, and I could do nothing at all to help her. I could only watch as she slipped away from me.
"You'll make sure Bail and your brother know?" she asked, reaching shakily around to hold my hand. "Promise me, Obi-Wan."
Hadn't a deathbed promise gotten me in trouble once before? Hadn't it gotten me the padawan who had just mortally wounded his wife, the padawan who was currently fleeing through Coruscant?
It didn't matter; there was nothing I could do but agree. I would have promised her anything in the galaxy if only it meant that she would live.
"I promise. I'll watch out for the twins, love. And - " my voice broke, threatening to give out on me, but I hadn't cried in more than ten years, and I wasn't about to start now. "And I'll tell them about their mother," I finished in a whisper.
She smiled weakly, her grip on my hand weakening every second. "You called me 'love.'" She sounded delighted in such an unconscious term of endearment, strangely so considering the situation. "Anakin...he never called me that."
I sat there with her. All I could do was cradle her, comfort her, as death crept slowly into the room.
Sail on, silvergirl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine.
Oh, if you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.