all the characters in zis story
do not belong to me- 'cept Tobilis Malkan Garringa. He's mine, dammit! The Lighter Side of-
Animorphs
*Scene- Ax's Scoop*
Ax: Dammit, Marco, not again!>
Marco: "Eh...sorry, man..."
Ax: Really...downloading human
pornographic material. We have something rather similar back home.>
Marco: "Andalite porn?! That's just...disturbing..."
Ax: No more than human porn.>
Marco: "Oh, really? Show me some!"
*Ax uses the Z-space transponder,
and a rather disturbing image appears on the computer screen*
Marco: "AAAH! My eyes! My eyes!"
*Scene- Tobias' perch*
Tobias: So, I sez to her- it's
not gonna' work out, baby. I mean yousa' a human, and I'm a bird. A bird,
dammit! Youse can't marry a bird! Oh yeh, and I mean, after that little
incident with Marco, man...dude, am I crazy for saying this...but we won't
be able to work it out- things'll never quite be okay between us...So,
what do you think, man?>
*We pan out, to show Tobias was talking
to the mother rabbit in Book #23*
Rabbit: .....
*Scene- Cassie's Barn*
Rachel: So, Jake, I was thinking....
*Jake and Cassie are underneath a
few bundles of hay, clothes flying everywhere*
Jake: Wow, Cassie! I didn't know
you liked it like this!
Rachel: EEEEEYYYUUUU...
*Scene-Crayak and the Ellimist*
Crayak: You are a fool- your pitiful
Animorphs will never defeat my Howlers!
Ellimist: Um...they allready did...
Crayak: Oh...then they will never
defeat the Drode!
Ellimist: ....they did that, too.
Crayak: Aw, poopy. Um...AHA! I shall
use the last Sharljin warrior- Tobilis Malkan Garringa- and have him confront
the Animorphs!
Ellimist: Shit...
Crayak: BWAHAHAHAHA
Ellimist: I'll go let them know...
*Fades away*
*Crayak continues laughing evilly,
but then stops and looks around with his massive eyeball, and puts on a
sickeningly cute tone to his voice*
Crayak: I love you, you love me,
we're a happy family...
Drode: *Appears* Master?
Crayak: GAH! What is it, you fool?
Drode: Um....
Crayak: You didn't hear anything,
did you?
Drode: Nope! I didn't hear you sing
the 'Barney' theme again, sir!
Crayak: Good. Now go torture someone
for a while.
Drode: Oh, yippee!
Crayak: Heheheheheh.....wait a minute...
*Scene- Ax's Scoop*
Tobias: A shooby-do-dowop- I
am Tobias, and you are not....hey, what the?>
*A bright light appears, diverting
Ax and Marco's attention from their porn search*
Marco: "Oh....whatthehellisthat?"
Ax: It appears to be a differnce in the electronic wave spectrum.>
Marco: "In english?"
Ax: It's a really bright light.>
Marco: "Okay, then."
*The light fades, revealing a deadly Sharljin warrior*
Deadly Sharljin Warrior: "Hey...what the...humans? Andalites?"
Tobias: Dude, it's Tobilis Malkan Garringa!>
Marco: "Really? Cool, man..."
Tobilis: "Okay, this is pretty F^cked up right here."
Marco: "No kidding."
*Phone rings*
Marco: "Oh, hold on..." *Answers phone* "Hello?"
Voice: (Drode) "Hey...what are you doing?"
Marco: "Talkin' with aliens...downloading some porn...what's up with
you?"
Drode: "Eh, tormenting people and such..."
Marco: "True....true..."
Drode: ".....WHAZZZAAAP??!!!"
Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!"
Drode: "Yo, who's that?"
Marco: "Yo, Tobias! Morph to human and pick up the cordless!"
Tobias: Word.> *Morphs* "Hello?"
Drode: "WHAZZZZAAAP??!!!"
Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!"
Tobias: "WHALSUP??!!!???"
Marco: "Hey, Tobilis, Ax, join in, home dawgs."
Tobilis: "Indeed."
Ax: Now, all together people!>
Drode: "WHAZZZZAAAP??!!!"
Marco: "WHUTZUP???!!!!"
Tobias: "WHALSUP??!!!???"
Tobilis: "WHAZZZZZUP?!"
Ax: What is up?!!!?!?>
Drode: .....
Marco: .....
Tobias: ....
Tobilis: .....
Ax: What?>
Marco: "Dude...you ruined it."
Ax: Ahem. Dammit.>
*Tobias hangs up*
Marco: "So, what's up?"
Drode: "Tormenting people and such."
Marco: "True....true..."
*Scene- Cassie's Barn*
Rachel: Jake, I....
Cassie: Mmm...mmm-hmm....
Rachel: Dammit!
*Rachel then reaches through the computer screen, and- GAH*
Rachel: Listen, writer boy, just get to the big finish...or I'll do
stuff....capiece'?
*Yessum*
*Several hundred pages of text disappear, leaving us at the end, with
Tobilis climbing into his spaceship, while the Animorphs watch Visser One
sing the blues.*
Visser One: Crappy fic, wasn't it?>
