Shoujo Kakumei Utena Otakufic
Episode 5 - "Back to Square One"
by Rose Priestess
Obligatory Disclaimer: The characters of "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" belong to Saito Chiho, Be-Pa-Pas, etc.
Opening Theme: Revolution
Scene: Roosevelt Hell School. Samantha opens her locker to gather her books for the morning, but, to her surprise, a small package falls out. Its wrapped in plain brown paper and the return address reads "Ohtori Gakuen."
Samantha: Ugh...what is it this early in the morning? [takes a closer look at the package] Ohtori..? **Wow, the day hasn't even started and already I regret getting out of bed. Must be a new record.**
Scene: B Lunch. Samantha and Scott are sitting on the usual bench eating lunch. They both puzzle over the contents inside.
Scott: Why don't you just open it and get it over with?
Samantha: Well, for two reasons actually. 1: Apparently it's from Ohtori Academy. And 2: I'm kinda scared to. [she warily unwraps the brown paper only to find an Utena tankubon inside]
Scott: It's just...manga.
Samantha: Wait a minute, this says it's the sixth volume!
Scott: And...?
Samantha: [panicked] There is no sixth volume!
Scott: Sami?
Samantha: Nani?
Scott: We're screwed aren't we?
Samantha: Yup. [she opens the manga and bright red light sucks them inside] Dammmmnn it...this isn't Fushigi Yuuuugiiii!
Scene: The two land hard on the ground in someone unknown land.
Scott: [dizzy] Ugh...where are we?
Samantha: [holding her head] Well, from the looks of it, it appears to be Ohtori Academy. [notices Scott] Agh! What happened to you?
Scott: What are you talking abo-- [looks down and realizes he is wearing the boys Ohtori uniform. He also has dark red hair and smoked glasses much like Professor Nemuro's] Hoo boy.
Samantha: [somewhat amused] Is *this* how you imagined yourself as an anime character?
Scott: Ask the author, she's the one who made me this way. [all of sudden there is a rather violent and turbulent earthquake] W-what n-now?! [earthquake ceases]
Samantha: I think you started to bend the fourth wall. Temperamental authors dislike that.
Scott: Then what does that say for you? [more earthquakes] Okay, okay, no more fourth wall breaking!
Samantha: [slightly annoyed] Thank you.
Scott: Don't mention it...say, is *that* how you imagined yourself as an anime character?
Samantha: What? Just the usual Seitokai uniform.
Scott: [coughs] Since when do members of the Seitokai attend the Mikage Seminar?
Samantha: [looks in the reflection of a nearby window. Her uniform is now the style of a Black Rose Duelist's only blue with accents of black and gold] Oh, for the love of pants!
Scott: [evil chortle] Wonder Bowl's colors, ne?
Samantha: [flatly] Urusai.
Scott: Well, now that we're here, what do we do? [two manila envelopes each sealed with a rose crest fall from the sky, thwapping Scott on the head]
Samantha: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer, huh? [opens her envelope] Let's see...class schedule, dorm assignments, etc.
Scott: [flips through papers] Everything seems to be in order, so--[adjusts his glasses and the light glints off of them. Suddenly, they hear a rumbling coming toward them and look in its direction] What's that noise?
Miki: [charges toward them] MY SHINING THING!
Samantha: [wide-eyed] Ack, get down! [Scott and Samantha duck quickly as Miki plows on by]
Scott: I probably don't want to now what that streak of blue was, right?
Samantha: [nonchalantly dusts herself off] Oh, him? Don't worry, he's pretty harmless. That was just Kaoru Miki, member of the Seitokai, all around boy genius, and he fences at a national level. Scary thing is, he's the sanest one around here, except for that "Shining Thing" mentality of his.
Scott: And he's the sanest? Damn it, why couldn't I have gotten sucked into Tenchi Muuyo or Nadesico? And if I'm supposed to be so Tenchi-like, where are the hordes of alien girls clinging to me?
Samantha: [blinks] Umm, there's always Wakaba...she's sort of alien.
Scott: [anime fall]
Samantha: Also, you forgot to factor in Akio's presence, so isn't it elementary that *any* girls wouldn't last long around here?
Scott: [grins] Does that count for you, too?
Samantha: [turns various shades of red] Umm...[coughs] Maybe, maybe not...
Scott: [crushed by a giant sweatdrop]
Samantha: [hears yet another rumbling sound coming toward them, though this one is much lower than the first] *Now* what?
Scott: [squints into the distance] Huh, it's heading this way rather quickly...it's red...
Samantha: [looks with him] ...with white interior...
Scott: ...it's
Samantha: ...a
Scott and Samantha: [in panicked voices] CAR!
Akio: [pulls up in the Akio-Car, 'natch] So, you two must be the new students, ne?
Samantha: [nervously] K-Konnichi wa, Rijichou.
Scott: [in Akito-like voice] Damn it!
Scene: Back in the real world, Roosevelt, Sarah and her entourage (Jessica, Sean, Rio, and Josh) are walking around during lunch.
Sarah: That's strange, I coulda sworn Sami was here a second ago. [notices the manga] An Utena manga? [opens it and the small group of five are sucked in by the same red light. Sarah, however, does not let go of the comic when she is transported and it implodes]
Everyone: Aahhh!!!
Scene: Ohtori Academy. Scott and Samantha are confronting Akio.
Scott: What the hell are we doing here?!
Akio: Well, [he is interrupted by a shouting that seems to be getting nearer and nearer. Moments later, a group of four people land on the ground hard with a loud thump. After several minutes of yelling and the untangling of limbs, they stand]
Jessica: [blinks and looks around] What the--where are we? I *know* this isn't Roosevelt.
Samantha: [flatly] My, what an astute observation.
Sean: [squints] Is that you, Sami? What happened? [four manila envelopes fall from the sky and bonk its respective holder on the head]
Scott: [points to the folders] Those should help a bit, but...[turns to Akio] You still haven't told us why we're here!
Akio: It's all quite simple, really. You are now attending Ohtori Gakuen. Anymore questions?
Samantha: [to Scott] Rule number one: never expect a straight answer from *him*. No pun intended. [they hear more screams descending upon them and look up]
Sarah: [falling quickly, with a manila envelope "chasing" after her] Craaaa-- [her scream is cut short as she abruptly lands with a thump...in the back of the Akio-Car]
Samantha: [tentatively peeks into the back] Sarah, your timing couldn't possibly have been worse, especially considering where you landed.
Akio: On the contrary, I'd say she has impeccable timing.
Samantha: [narrows her eyes] You stay out of this.
Sarah: [groggily sits up] What, where am I? Ooh, white leather.
Samantha: Let me be frank: You were sucked in by a magical manga, are now in Ohtori Academy, and you landed in. The. Backseat. Of. The. Akio-Car.
Sarah: Eep! [scrambles out of the car clutching her envelope] I think *now* is a very good time to get the hell out of here!
Everyone: Yup! [scatter to their respective corners of Ohtori Academy]
Preview of Next Episode
Sarah: I do NOT believe this! Now we're stuck in Ohtori Academy instead of the other way around!
Samantha: Hey, I'm not any happier about it than you are. Dios knows how many weeks of bowling I'll miss! [sniffles]
Scott: Suck it up, it can't be all bad.
Rio: I dunno...Akio isn't the best person in the world to be stuck with.
Sarah: Next time on Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Rio Grand!
Samantha: Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku.
Ending Theme: Virtual Star Embryology
Author Notes: The Wonder Bowl reference is the name of the alley I bowl at every week. I'm there so often, it's practically my second home. ^_^ As always, reviews, flames, and MSTs are greatly appreciated!
e-mail: bara_no_miko@ohtoriacademy.com
Episode 5 - "Back to Square One"
by Rose Priestess
Obligatory Disclaimer: The characters of "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" belong to Saito Chiho, Be-Pa-Pas, etc.
Opening Theme: Revolution
Scene: Roosevelt Hell School. Samantha opens her locker to gather her books for the morning, but, to her surprise, a small package falls out. Its wrapped in plain brown paper and the return address reads "Ohtori Gakuen."
Samantha: Ugh...what is it this early in the morning? [takes a closer look at the package] Ohtori..? **Wow, the day hasn't even started and already I regret getting out of bed. Must be a new record.**
Scene: B Lunch. Samantha and Scott are sitting on the usual bench eating lunch. They both puzzle over the contents inside.
Scott: Why don't you just open it and get it over with?
Samantha: Well, for two reasons actually. 1: Apparently it's from Ohtori Academy. And 2: I'm kinda scared to. [she warily unwraps the brown paper only to find an Utena tankubon inside]
Scott: It's just...manga.
Samantha: Wait a minute, this says it's the sixth volume!
Scott: And...?
Samantha: [panicked] There is no sixth volume!
Scott: Sami?
Samantha: Nani?
Scott: We're screwed aren't we?
Samantha: Yup. [she opens the manga and bright red light sucks them inside] Dammmmnn it...this isn't Fushigi Yuuuugiiii!
Scene: The two land hard on the ground in someone unknown land.
Scott: [dizzy] Ugh...where are we?
Samantha: [holding her head] Well, from the looks of it, it appears to be Ohtori Academy. [notices Scott] Agh! What happened to you?
Scott: What are you talking abo-- [looks down and realizes he is wearing the boys Ohtori uniform. He also has dark red hair and smoked glasses much like Professor Nemuro's] Hoo boy.
Samantha: [somewhat amused] Is *this* how you imagined yourself as an anime character?
Scott: Ask the author, she's the one who made me this way. [all of sudden there is a rather violent and turbulent earthquake] W-what n-now?! [earthquake ceases]
Samantha: I think you started to bend the fourth wall. Temperamental authors dislike that.
Scott: Then what does that say for you? [more earthquakes] Okay, okay, no more fourth wall breaking!
Samantha: [slightly annoyed] Thank you.
Scott: Don't mention it...say, is *that* how you imagined yourself as an anime character?
Samantha: What? Just the usual Seitokai uniform.
Scott: [coughs] Since when do members of the Seitokai attend the Mikage Seminar?
Samantha: [looks in the reflection of a nearby window. Her uniform is now the style of a Black Rose Duelist's only blue with accents of black and gold] Oh, for the love of pants!
Scott: [evil chortle] Wonder Bowl's colors, ne?
Samantha: [flatly] Urusai.
Scott: Well, now that we're here, what do we do? [two manila envelopes each sealed with a rose crest fall from the sky, thwapping Scott on the head]
Samantha: Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer, huh? [opens her envelope] Let's see...class schedule, dorm assignments, etc.
Scott: [flips through papers] Everything seems to be in order, so--[adjusts his glasses and the light glints off of them. Suddenly, they hear a rumbling coming toward them and look in its direction] What's that noise?
Miki: [charges toward them] MY SHINING THING!
Samantha: [wide-eyed] Ack, get down! [Scott and Samantha duck quickly as Miki plows on by]
Scott: I probably don't want to now what that streak of blue was, right?
Samantha: [nonchalantly dusts herself off] Oh, him? Don't worry, he's pretty harmless. That was just Kaoru Miki, member of the Seitokai, all around boy genius, and he fences at a national level. Scary thing is, he's the sanest one around here, except for that "Shining Thing" mentality of his.
Scott: And he's the sanest? Damn it, why couldn't I have gotten sucked into Tenchi Muuyo or Nadesico? And if I'm supposed to be so Tenchi-like, where are the hordes of alien girls clinging to me?
Samantha: [blinks] Umm, there's always Wakaba...she's sort of alien.
Scott: [anime fall]
Samantha: Also, you forgot to factor in Akio's presence, so isn't it elementary that *any* girls wouldn't last long around here?
Scott: [grins] Does that count for you, too?
Samantha: [turns various shades of red] Umm...[coughs] Maybe, maybe not...
Scott: [crushed by a giant sweatdrop]
Samantha: [hears yet another rumbling sound coming toward them, though this one is much lower than the first] *Now* what?
Scott: [squints into the distance] Huh, it's heading this way rather quickly...it's red...
Samantha: [looks with him] ...with white interior...
Scott: ...it's
Samantha: ...a
Scott and Samantha: [in panicked voices] CAR!
Akio: [pulls up in the Akio-Car, 'natch] So, you two must be the new students, ne?
Samantha: [nervously] K-Konnichi wa, Rijichou.
Scott: [in Akito-like voice] Damn it!
Scene: Back in the real world, Roosevelt, Sarah and her entourage (Jessica, Sean, Rio, and Josh) are walking around during lunch.
Sarah: That's strange, I coulda sworn Sami was here a second ago. [notices the manga] An Utena manga? [opens it and the small group of five are sucked in by the same red light. Sarah, however, does not let go of the comic when she is transported and it implodes]
Everyone: Aahhh!!!
Scene: Ohtori Academy. Scott and Samantha are confronting Akio.
Scott: What the hell are we doing here?!
Akio: Well, [he is interrupted by a shouting that seems to be getting nearer and nearer. Moments later, a group of four people land on the ground hard with a loud thump. After several minutes of yelling and the untangling of limbs, they stand]
Jessica: [blinks and looks around] What the--where are we? I *know* this isn't Roosevelt.
Samantha: [flatly] My, what an astute observation.
Sean: [squints] Is that you, Sami? What happened? [four manila envelopes fall from the sky and bonk its respective holder on the head]
Scott: [points to the folders] Those should help a bit, but...[turns to Akio] You still haven't told us why we're here!
Akio: It's all quite simple, really. You are now attending Ohtori Gakuen. Anymore questions?
Samantha: [to Scott] Rule number one: never expect a straight answer from *him*. No pun intended. [they hear more screams descending upon them and look up]
Sarah: [falling quickly, with a manila envelope "chasing" after her] Craaaa-- [her scream is cut short as she abruptly lands with a thump...in the back of the Akio-Car]
Samantha: [tentatively peeks into the back] Sarah, your timing couldn't possibly have been worse, especially considering where you landed.
Akio: On the contrary, I'd say she has impeccable timing.
Samantha: [narrows her eyes] You stay out of this.
Sarah: [groggily sits up] What, where am I? Ooh, white leather.
Samantha: Let me be frank: You were sucked in by a magical manga, are now in Ohtori Academy, and you landed in. The. Backseat. Of. The. Akio-Car.
Sarah: Eep! [scrambles out of the car clutching her envelope] I think *now* is a very good time to get the hell out of here!
Everyone: Yup! [scatter to their respective corners of Ohtori Academy]
Preview of Next Episode
Sarah: I do NOT believe this! Now we're stuck in Ohtori Academy instead of the other way around!
Samantha: Hey, I'm not any happier about it than you are. Dios knows how many weeks of bowling I'll miss! [sniffles]
Scott: Suck it up, it can't be all bad.
Rio: I dunno...Akio isn't the best person in the world to be stuck with.
Sarah: Next time on Shoujo Kakumei Utena: Rio Grand!
Samantha: Zettai Unmei Mokushiroku.
Ending Theme: Virtual Star Embryology
Author Notes: The Wonder Bowl reference is the name of the alley I bowl at every week. I'm there so often, it's practically my second home. ^_^ As always, reviews, flames, and MSTs are greatly appreciated!
e-mail: bara_no_miko@ohtoriacademy.com