A/N: This was written by my best mate Kinky Jaz, who asked me to post this for her. It's a Harry Potter/Randall and Hopkirk crossover and it's really good :)
Harry Potter and the Dead Detective- Chapter One
It was an ordinary day for Jeff Randall as he pulled into the car park outside the offices; he was cold, he wanted some crisps, and he was late for work. It was for these reasons he failed to notice the cat that was sitting in his parking space until it was almost too late. There was a bump, but as he rushed out of the car to check Jeff saw that the cat was all right. It simply favoured its right rear paw slightly as it leaped onto a wall, from where it turned and gave Jeff the angriest glare he had ever seen, human or feline, through eyes that were surrounded by strange markings almost like a pair of glasses. "Sorry", he said as he grabbed his briefcase from the car, which promptly burst open and scattered his papers everywhere. The cat gave a swish of its tail and sauntered off. It was one of the worst days of Jeff's life, and he'd only been awake an hour.
"Morning Jeff", Jeannie greeted him brightly and Jeff's spirits began to lift. They soon fell again as he realized that Jeannie was alert, cheerful and working at the computer at a time when he had just managed to stagger into the office with a disorganized briefcase and a feline near-death experience on his conscience.
"Jeff, your flies are open." Jeannie smiled teasingly at him, then turned back to the monitor. With a growl of frustration on several levels, Jeff sank into his chair.
"Morning Jeannie, I'm sorry I was late, my alarm clock didn't go off."
"That's ok Jeff. Would you like some coffee? You don't look quite awake yet."
"Thanks Jeannie, but I'll get it myself." Jeff sighed to himself as he walked over to the percolator. Jeannie was beautiful, intelligent, funny, and Marty's girlfriend. The latter wasn't quite strictly true, as Marty had been dead for over a year. However his ghostly presence still quite literally haunted Jeff, and Marty wasn't too keen on him getting anywhere with Jeannie. They had been growing closer recently, with the occasional meal or trip to the cinema, but afterwards they just gave each other a quick kiss and said good night. The next day they would go back to just being friends and workmates.
Jeannie left the office at eleven to do some shopping. Almost immediately, a swirl of ectoplasm heralded the arrival of Marty Hopkirk, the deceased member of the detective agency. He leaned over Jeff's shoulder as he struggled to rearrange his papers and blew gently. Jeff swore as the sheets slid over the edge of the desk.
"Language", Marty chided him. "How come our case notes are all muddy like that anyway?"
"Me briefcase broke, ok Marty?"
"Why were you so late?"
Jeff looked up suspiciously. "How did you know I was late?" Was it his imagination, or did Marty look guilty? "Marty…"
"Ok, I'm sorry. I got bored so I levitated the battery out of your alarm clock"
Jeff's patience was at breaking point. He gritted his teeth. "Marty…"
"Did you know you look stupid when you're asleep?" Marty quickly dissolved as Jeff growled and swiped his hand through the air where Marty's ghostly form had been. He reformed in front of the desk and Jeff chucked a pencil sharpener at him. It hit the door just as it opened. In stepped Jeannie, followed by two of the strangest people Jeff had ever seen. They were a man and a woman, wearing long dark cloaks. The woman was stern looking with glasses. Jeff noticed she walked with a limp. The man was much more genial looking, with long flowing silver hair and a beard. Jeannie gestured to Jeff. "Professor McGonagal, Professor Dumbledore, this is my partner Jeff Randall."
"Pleased to meet you". As Jeff shook hands with Professor McGonagal he couldn't escape the feeling he had seen her somewhere else recently.
"Mr. Randall, let me start by apologizing for damaging your briefcase. I should have held my temper in check." Jeff's confusion must have shown on his face.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Mr. Randall, I'm afraid you and Ms Hurst must brace yourselves for a shock. Professor McGonagal and I are not all we appear to be."
Professor McGonagal broke in, "I am a witch. Professor Dumbledore is a wizard."
Jeff's first response was to burst out laughing. He fought down the urge out of politeness. The professors were deadly serious, watching Jeff and Jeannie to try and gauge their reaction. Jeannie spoke first.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we've had any experience in dealing with wizards before…" She caught Jeff's eye and looked meaningfully at the telephone. Dumbledore stepped forward. "I understand perfectly. The magical community has kept itself rather well hidden from non-magical people such as yourself. Perhaps a demonstration would be in order. Minerva?"
Jeannie now began edging towards the phone herself. Professor McGonagal ignored her however, and instead removed her cloak. She took a wand from her belt and spoke a few words in a language neither Jeff or Jeannie could understand, but which made both of them tingle and wish that they did. Jeff felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Professor McGonagal was shrinking, changing. In a few moments a cat was sitting where she had been. It looked smug and began licking its paw.
Jeannie stifled a scream. Jeff simply stared as though his eyes would pop out of his head. On top of everything else, he actually recognized the cat.
"I'm really sorry I hit you this morning! God, I might have run over the first client we've had in weeks! I'm so sorry…" He reflected for a second on whether he should stroke her, but decided against it.
Professor McGonagal transformed herself back to human form as Jeff and Jeannie stared at her white faced. Dumbledore spoke:
"You've taken it remarkably well. Most muggles would have run away screaming by now."
Jeff looked as though that was something he was seriously considering. Jeannie, however, pulled herself together and walked slightly unsteadily to her desk. She sat down, took a pen and paper, and got down to business. "Now, Mr. Dumbledore. Perhaps you could give me some details, and we could discuss the case. Please, take a seat."
Jeff sat down too. He found it very difficult not to gawp admiringly at Jeannie's professionalism. He always found it slightly arousing when she took control of a situation. No, this wasn't helping matters. He resolved firmly not to look at Jeannie, and focused instead on Dumbledore. That was a bad move, as Marty was hovering just above Dumbledore's head and making gestures of derision towards the wizard's long beard.
Despite the distraction, Jeff managed to answer the queries directed towards him by the clients. Jeannie appeared to be arranging the details of the case. There were mentions of a school, Christmas time and, wow! broomsticks. After a while Jeannie got up and went out to get some expense forms.
Marty drifted over. "Jeff, you dirty get, stop leching at Jeannie!"
Dumbledore smiled genially.
"Ah, Mr. Hopkirk. I've been waiting to have a word with you." It was one of the few times Jeff had ever seen Marty speechless.
"You… you can see Marty?"
Marty had obviously had enough of the whole speechless thing. "How can you see me?! Could you see me just now?"
"Oh yes. I simply felt it best not to mention your presence" said Dumbledore. "I understand Ms Hurst is unaware of you?" Marty nodded. It was a novel experience, being able to talk to people other than Jeff. He decided he rather liked it.
"Can all wizards see me?"
McGonagal nodded coldly. "I certainly can".
Marty felt excited. "At this school we're going to… will everyone be able to see me?"
Dumbledore nodded. "Including Ms Hurst. The atmosphere of magic is so strong at Hogwarts that hidden things become visible."
"So how come you can see me here?"
"The short answer, Mr. Hopkirk, is 'Years Of Study'."
Jeff wanted to find out what he'd missed while he had been distracted, but Marty kept interrupting with childish questions. He seemed very eager to know all about Hogwarts. Jeff groaned mentally. He'd have to find a way to keep Marty away from Jeannie while they were there.
"Are there other ghosts at Hogwarts?" asked Marty.
"Four" replied Dumbledore. "However, there used to be five, which is why I'm here…" Before Jeff could speak, Marty jumped in again.
"Are there any… girl ghosts?"
Jeff rolled his eyes. Maybe Marty's mind wasn't quite as much on Jeannie as he'd thought.
Harry Potter and the Dead Detective- Chapter One
It was an ordinary day for Jeff Randall as he pulled into the car park outside the offices; he was cold, he wanted some crisps, and he was late for work. It was for these reasons he failed to notice the cat that was sitting in his parking space until it was almost too late. There was a bump, but as he rushed out of the car to check Jeff saw that the cat was all right. It simply favoured its right rear paw slightly as it leaped onto a wall, from where it turned and gave Jeff the angriest glare he had ever seen, human or feline, through eyes that were surrounded by strange markings almost like a pair of glasses. "Sorry", he said as he grabbed his briefcase from the car, which promptly burst open and scattered his papers everywhere. The cat gave a swish of its tail and sauntered off. It was one of the worst days of Jeff's life, and he'd only been awake an hour.
"Morning Jeff", Jeannie greeted him brightly and Jeff's spirits began to lift. They soon fell again as he realized that Jeannie was alert, cheerful and working at the computer at a time when he had just managed to stagger into the office with a disorganized briefcase and a feline near-death experience on his conscience.
"Jeff, your flies are open." Jeannie smiled teasingly at him, then turned back to the monitor. With a growl of frustration on several levels, Jeff sank into his chair.
"Morning Jeannie, I'm sorry I was late, my alarm clock didn't go off."
"That's ok Jeff. Would you like some coffee? You don't look quite awake yet."
"Thanks Jeannie, but I'll get it myself." Jeff sighed to himself as he walked over to the percolator. Jeannie was beautiful, intelligent, funny, and Marty's girlfriend. The latter wasn't quite strictly true, as Marty had been dead for over a year. However his ghostly presence still quite literally haunted Jeff, and Marty wasn't too keen on him getting anywhere with Jeannie. They had been growing closer recently, with the occasional meal or trip to the cinema, but afterwards they just gave each other a quick kiss and said good night. The next day they would go back to just being friends and workmates.
Jeannie left the office at eleven to do some shopping. Almost immediately, a swirl of ectoplasm heralded the arrival of Marty Hopkirk, the deceased member of the detective agency. He leaned over Jeff's shoulder as he struggled to rearrange his papers and blew gently. Jeff swore as the sheets slid over the edge of the desk.
"Language", Marty chided him. "How come our case notes are all muddy like that anyway?"
"Me briefcase broke, ok Marty?"
"Why were you so late?"
Jeff looked up suspiciously. "How did you know I was late?" Was it his imagination, or did Marty look guilty? "Marty…"
"Ok, I'm sorry. I got bored so I levitated the battery out of your alarm clock"
Jeff's patience was at breaking point. He gritted his teeth. "Marty…"
"Did you know you look stupid when you're asleep?" Marty quickly dissolved as Jeff growled and swiped his hand through the air where Marty's ghostly form had been. He reformed in front of the desk and Jeff chucked a pencil sharpener at him. It hit the door just as it opened. In stepped Jeannie, followed by two of the strangest people Jeff had ever seen. They were a man and a woman, wearing long dark cloaks. The woman was stern looking with glasses. Jeff noticed she walked with a limp. The man was much more genial looking, with long flowing silver hair and a beard. Jeannie gestured to Jeff. "Professor McGonagal, Professor Dumbledore, this is my partner Jeff Randall."
"Pleased to meet you". As Jeff shook hands with Professor McGonagal he couldn't escape the feeling he had seen her somewhere else recently.
"Mr. Randall, let me start by apologizing for damaging your briefcase. I should have held my temper in check." Jeff's confusion must have shown on his face.
Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Mr. Randall, I'm afraid you and Ms Hurst must brace yourselves for a shock. Professor McGonagal and I are not all we appear to be."
Professor McGonagal broke in, "I am a witch. Professor Dumbledore is a wizard."
Jeff's first response was to burst out laughing. He fought down the urge out of politeness. The professors were deadly serious, watching Jeff and Jeannie to try and gauge their reaction. Jeannie spoke first.
"I'm sorry, I don't think we've had any experience in dealing with wizards before…" She caught Jeff's eye and looked meaningfully at the telephone. Dumbledore stepped forward. "I understand perfectly. The magical community has kept itself rather well hidden from non-magical people such as yourself. Perhaps a demonstration would be in order. Minerva?"
Jeannie now began edging towards the phone herself. Professor McGonagal ignored her however, and instead removed her cloak. She took a wand from her belt and spoke a few words in a language neither Jeff or Jeannie could understand, but which made both of them tingle and wish that they did. Jeff felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. Professor McGonagal was shrinking, changing. In a few moments a cat was sitting where she had been. It looked smug and began licking its paw.
Jeannie stifled a scream. Jeff simply stared as though his eyes would pop out of his head. On top of everything else, he actually recognized the cat.
"I'm really sorry I hit you this morning! God, I might have run over the first client we've had in weeks! I'm so sorry…" He reflected for a second on whether he should stroke her, but decided against it.
Professor McGonagal transformed herself back to human form as Jeff and Jeannie stared at her white faced. Dumbledore spoke:
"You've taken it remarkably well. Most muggles would have run away screaming by now."
Jeff looked as though that was something he was seriously considering. Jeannie, however, pulled herself together and walked slightly unsteadily to her desk. She sat down, took a pen and paper, and got down to business. "Now, Mr. Dumbledore. Perhaps you could give me some details, and we could discuss the case. Please, take a seat."
Jeff sat down too. He found it very difficult not to gawp admiringly at Jeannie's professionalism. He always found it slightly arousing when she took control of a situation. No, this wasn't helping matters. He resolved firmly not to look at Jeannie, and focused instead on Dumbledore. That was a bad move, as Marty was hovering just above Dumbledore's head and making gestures of derision towards the wizard's long beard.
Despite the distraction, Jeff managed to answer the queries directed towards him by the clients. Jeannie appeared to be arranging the details of the case. There were mentions of a school, Christmas time and, wow! broomsticks. After a while Jeannie got up and went out to get some expense forms.
Marty drifted over. "Jeff, you dirty get, stop leching at Jeannie!"
Dumbledore smiled genially.
"Ah, Mr. Hopkirk. I've been waiting to have a word with you." It was one of the few times Jeff had ever seen Marty speechless.
"You… you can see Marty?"
Marty had obviously had enough of the whole speechless thing. "How can you see me?! Could you see me just now?"
"Oh yes. I simply felt it best not to mention your presence" said Dumbledore. "I understand Ms Hurst is unaware of you?" Marty nodded. It was a novel experience, being able to talk to people other than Jeff. He decided he rather liked it.
"Can all wizards see me?"
McGonagal nodded coldly. "I certainly can".
Marty felt excited. "At this school we're going to… will everyone be able to see me?"
Dumbledore nodded. "Including Ms Hurst. The atmosphere of magic is so strong at Hogwarts that hidden things become visible."
"So how come you can see me here?"
"The short answer, Mr. Hopkirk, is 'Years Of Study'."
Jeff wanted to find out what he'd missed while he had been distracted, but Marty kept interrupting with childish questions. He seemed very eager to know all about Hogwarts. Jeff groaned mentally. He'd have to find a way to keep Marty away from Jeannie while they were there.
"Are there other ghosts at Hogwarts?" asked Marty.
"Four" replied Dumbledore. "However, there used to be five, which is why I'm here…" Before Jeff could speak, Marty jumped in again.
"Are there any… girl ghosts?"
Jeff rolled his eyes. Maybe Marty's mind wasn't quite as much on Jeannie as he'd thought.