I Wish I Could
By Nicole
Summary: Sam thinks about Kay
Distribution: Ask first.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. The song belongs to Colin Raye.
I can't believe how everything has changed. I can't believe how fast she grew up. Sometimes when I look at her I still see the little girl she used to be. Sometimes I see the woman that she will become. It is hard for me to believe that my baby girl is a woman now.
I'm sitting here in the kitchen looking out of the window at my girls. The three of them are sitting on the picnic table talking and laughing. They all look so happy. I don't think I've ever seen the three of them get along like this before. As I sit here and watch them I remember all the times I watched my little girl out there.
~ Looking out my window
See you playing in the leaves
It's amazing how a little girl
Means all the world to me
When I tell you that I love you
I love you more than words can say
Smile, say cheese pretty-please
I wanna take your picture
How'd you ever get so big
I gotta take your picture
Hold on to the memory before the whole thing slips away
I wish I could save these moments
And put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't, I know I can't
But I wish I could ~
I remember when Kay was five years old. I watched her from this very same window. She was laughing and playing in the leaves outside. She lad her long brown hair pulled back into two matching braids. Her big blue eyes were shining happily. She was wearing a white t-shirt that said "daddy's girl" and her favorite blue jeans. She had on her bright pink wind breaker that she got for Christmas.
She was running around throwing the leaves in the air and watching them fall all around her. She looked up and saw me in the window. She gave me a big smile and waved and yelled "Hi daddy" at me.
I waved back at her and went back to her playing. I then went into the living room to get my camera. As I reached the camera that was on the desk I saw Noah and Jessica curled up around Grace watching some movie on television. I smiled as I walk back into the kitchen. Kay is still running and yelling outside.
I walked outside and sat on the table and just watch her play. After a few minutes she looks up and smiles at me. "Daddy!" she yells and gives me a big hug.
"Hi baby, you having fun?" I ask.
She just nods her head and says "Of course."
She then runs back and starts playing again. I start snapping pictures of her. She stops every once in a while to pose for a shot.
~ When you kiss me for no reason
It goes straight to my heart
When I feel your arms around me
I almost fall apart
It's time for bed you whisper
Daddy, we forgot to pray
I wish I could save these moments
And put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't, I know I can't
But I wish I could ~
Jessica and Noah have always been closer to Grace. They always go to her first with their problems. Kay has always been my baby. She always comes to me first. Grace says Kay is exactly like me. Kay would wait up every night for me to come home from work so I could read her a story and say her prayers with her. She never let Grace tuck her in. That was our time. Just the two of us.
As she got older she stopped coming to me as often. She would spend more time with her friends. We didn't spend as much time together. By the time she was a teenager we hardly spent any time together. She was busy with her school and her friends, and I was busy with work. When Charity came to live with us I didn't realize how hard things were on her. I was to busy dealing with Ivy. Now that I look back I see how much Kay had to give up. She felt like she lost everything to Charity.
I started spending more time with her. Just the two of us like before. We started talking to each other more. For the first time I got to see the person my daughter had become. It took us a long time to get that closeness back.
~ And when I watch you sleeping
All my worries fade away
A little bit of heaven glows on your angelic face
I wish I could save these moments
And put 'em in a jar
I wish I could stop the world from turning
Keep things just the way they are
I wish I could shelter you from everything
Not pure and sweet and good
I know I can't, I know I can't
I know I can't
But I wish I could ~
I remember when she was little I would watch her sleep. I would sneak into her room and just watch her. She looked so peaceful and innocent in her sleep. She was completely vaunerable and unguarded in her sleep. Sometimes when I can't sleep I will go into her room and just watch her sleep. It is the only time that she is completely vaunerable. I wish I could take away the pain and sadness she feels. I wish I could protect her from everything, but I can't. I wish she was still that same little girl who would run and laugh and play in the leaves.
I am brought out of my thoughts as I hear laughing. I look out of the window again and see my three girls all happy. My niece Charity and my two beautiful daughters Jessica and Kay are sitting at the table laughing. Times like these make me forget all about lifes problems. I realize now that my girls have had their problems but they all turned great.
The End