Through Her Eyes

by bigbadboy666

This is the story of a man learning about himself by looking through the eyes of his most beloved.

Um I don't own digimon or the song Through Her Eyes by Dream Theater. Enjoy!

THROUGH HER EYE'S
By Bigbadboy666

She never really had a chance
On that fateful moonlit night
Sacrificed without a fight
A victim of her circumstance

'I'm sorry, I say it every minute of every hour of every day of my life' I begin to think to myself. 'I'm sorry I didn't pick you up from work. I'm sorry I went to the party with Matt. I'm sorry that alcohol was ever invented. I'm sorry you had to cross the street. I'm sorry I killed you. I've never told anyone that I consider myself your murderer but I know I am. If I had picked you up then you wouldn't have had to cross the street and a drunk driver wouldn't have hit you. But that was 10 years ago. 10 years tomorrow' I think as I lay down in bed.

Now that I've become aware
And I've exposed this tragedy
A sadness grows inside of me
It all seems so unfair

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I scream as I wake up. "No I killed her I killed her" I say over and over as I begin to cry. I feel soft arms around me and I hear soothing words but they offer no comfort. I cry like a child there sitting in my bed. I wonder how this happened to such a good person. How this happened to my Sora.

I'm learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

I still remember it like its happening before my eyes. Tk w Tk burst into the house the party was in and looked like he was ready to cry. But he wouldn't cry he could let anyone no something was wrong. He walked up to where Matt was dancing with Mimi. He told Matt something and Matt became furious, Mimi ran out the door her covering her face with her hands. I knew something was wrong so I tried to back away into a private little corner hoping they wouldn't find me and couldn't tell me the news. Matt found me though. He came up to me when Tk left to help Mimi. He hugged me close and told me. He told me Sora was taken to the hospital at 11:05. By 11:11 she was dead. My Sora was dead.

Just beyond the churchyard gates
Where the grass is overgrown
I saw the writing on her stone
I felt like I would suffocate

I look through the gates and I see Izzy his wife and there children. His wife and children stand to the side silently. Izzy gently places a rose on Sora's grave. Then he kisses his fingers and presses them to the cold stone. He smiles and says something that I can't hear. Then he walks to his wife and children and smiles again. He turns to exit out of the gate I'm standing in. He sees me and his smile leaves his face. He turns to walk out the other gate. I thank him for that. I don't think I could stand being close to another friend right now.

In loving memory of our child
So innocent, eyes open wide
I felt so empty as I cried
Like part of me had died

"Sora. 10 years ago today you were taken from me forever. 11 years 66 days ago I asked you to marry me. You said yes. But 10 years 8 days 9 hours ago right now you on you told me six words that made me happy enough to die. You told me 'Your going to be a daddy'" I cry as I collapse next to her tombstone.
"Your where to good for this Sora you where to good for this".

I'm learning all about my life
By looking through her eyes

That day I visited Kari and Tk. They weren't home, I'm sure they had gone to visit Sora. I'm so glad I have them in my life. If it weren't for Kari I would have killed myself. And Tk is my only link to my best friend. Him and I haven't talked for 10 years today. He told me something I can never forgive him for.

And as her image
Wandered through my head
I wept just like a baby
As I lay awake in bed

I dreamt about her that night. Her imitation of the way I walk and the perfect way she talked. The way her hair smelled like roses when I held her close to me. How her heart would beat softly against my chest. When I woke up my pillow was soaked. I had cried though out the night.

And I know what it's like
To lose someone you love
And this felt just the same

I have lost Sora I tell myself over and over again. But when I tell myself that I think 'if she's lost you can always go and find her'. And I try. Sometimes I drive for hours on end looking for her. I see parts of her sometimes her hair, her smile, her cheeks, her cute little noseI've yet to see her eyes. Nobody has her eyes.

She wasn't given any choice
Desperation stole her voice
I've been given so much more in life
I've got a son, I've got a wife

Sora wasn't given a choice to live or to die. I was and I choose live. I have a lot to live for now my wife Erin and our son Matt. I will live. And I will be happy. But I will always remember her and love her more then anyone. I will always want her, always need her but I will never have her. And I accept that.

I had to suffer one last time
To grieve for her and say goodbye
Relive the anguish of my past
To find out who I was at last

I sit down on the swings in the park. I met Sora on these swings when we were both five. I couldn't get over how pretty she was. She had asked me to push her on the swings. She kept on yelling at me to push her higher.
"Sora. When I pushed you on these swings when we were five you only wanted to go higher and higher. I never told anyone this. Not the brown hared 3 year old sitting in the shade with a little blond boy. Not the kid who liked nothing more then to play on his gameboy and talk to the blue hared boy with a puffer. Not the girl dressed all in pink, not even the boy who kept trying to get her attention. When I was pushing you and you wanted to get higher I thought I was sending an angel back to heaven. Then that angel went to heaven and I wantedI want more then anything for her to come back. But your not coming back Sora. And I damn the man who took you from me to hell everyday of my life. I still want to kill him. But Sora what I'm trying to say is goodbye Sora. I'll always miss you but I won't let that control my life anymore. Iv been trying to figure out what you would want me to do. Iv been trying to look through your eyes. And I discovered you would want me to move on. Thank you Sora. I love you but I have to say..goodbye". I said as I looked at the sky. Then I got up and went home.

The door has opened wide
I'm turning with the tide
Looking through her eyes

In memory of every family member friend or loved one who left some one to miss them.