Part Six
"I do hope I'm doing this right?" Giles' forehead crinkled into small lines of concentration as he read from an ancient book held in one hand, while scattering a fist full of herbs with the other.
"We beseech access to the knowing ones" he called out as a lighted match was added to the blend. A flash of brilliance ignited the herbs and instantly the porthole to the other dimension was opened. Giles blinked uncomfortably at the intensity of light coming from the other world and placed an apprehensive hand on the Slayer's small arm.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" he turned to Buffy but, sadly, already knew the answer to his question. There was a deep-set resolve imprinted clearly over her tired eyes, a resolve that spoke out loud and clear. Nothing on earth could stop her.
The flight home had been extremely difficult. Within seconds of the plane taking off, Buffy had feigned a deep sleep, Giles accepted that this was her way of avoiding any more difficult questions and he let the masquerade continue all the way to LA.
**Besides, this whole mess was all his fault** Giles was consumed with guilt for bringing the girl to England in the first place, he should have known better than to have taken such stupid risks. Even though he truly believed that Angel was safely out of the country, he should have realised that he was tempting the hands of fate by bringing Buffy across the ocean.
**Fate had never played fair where Buffy was concerned** he looked into the shattered face of the girl *sleeping* in the next seat and mentally kicked himself for his stupidity.
Giles knew he had gambled heavily with fate and had lost. Because of his carelessness, he was being forced to pay the price and watch the surrogate daughter he loved so dearly suffer all over again. Only in some ways, this was far worse.
The first time Buffy had let Angel go, it had been for an honourable reason, and although it had almost killed her, she had managed to do it with her head held high. The last thing she had ever expected was to have to do it all over again. Giles' worse fear was that Buffy wasn't strong enough to walk away twice. Not walk away and survive intact that was.
The long journey continued in silence and, by the time they had reached LA, Buffy had already determined her next move. After grabbing one of Angel's old books and paying a quick visit to the local magic store, the enraged Slayer and her loyal watcher headed straight for the Post Office sewers.
*****
**We beseech access to the knowing ones**
Buffy hated that goddamn flash of light, it always left her feeling slightly disorientated, and that made her vulnerable.
**Both these feelings really pissed her off** and In her present state of mind, that alone could've been fatal.
Taking her anger in both hands, she marched forcefully into the bright marble chamber, raring for a fight.
"Come before us, Slayer. What have you brought us?" the female Oracle was there in an instant, her pale blue eyes flickering over the troubled human.
**What have *I* bought you** The slayer's wrath multiplied with each arrogant word, she folded her arms across her chest as her fingers itched to rip the Oracle's smug painted head off its shoulders.
"How about a fistful of Buffy, if don't get the right answers?" she replied dangerously, her large hazel eyes flashing the extent of her hatred.
Buffy could feel the tension flowing all around her; it was so potent it almost crackled in the air above.
At that point the male Oracle joined its' sister and the two higher beings turned and faced each other.
"She is still so full of rage" the male spoke ignoring Buffy completely. The very fact that the Slayer had once again forced her presence before them was far too irksome for their liking.
"Something's never change" the sister haughtily agreed. Neither Oracle showed any surprise at the Slayer's presence, in fact it seemed they had almost anticipated the visit.
Buffy was almost spitting venom she was so angry with their apparent lack of interest
**Something's never change?**
"Oh, you got that one wrong" her voice dripped in sarcasm at the irony. **Things had changed big time**
The Oracles both turned their expressionless eyes towards the Slayer, neither making any attempt to question her statement
"Five years ago you made me a promise, you said that if I let Angel go he would live a perfect life with no memories of the past. " Buffy's own hazel orbs stared straight back, with a look so cold it could have frozen time itself.
"And he is" this time the Oracles defended themselves. Liam Price was living an almost perfect life, just as they had foretold.
"The memories of Angelus can never return, the crimes have been washed clean from his soul," the male added for extra confirmation.
Buffy moved slowly forward, her whole body was buzzing with pent up emotion, just longing for an excuse to open the release valve and blow.
"So how do you explain what happened in that alley way in London? Does this perfect life include turning my lover into a crazed stalker that jumps on women for no apparent reason?" she blazed back at them barely holding temper
**How many other girls had he... Stop... Bad visual**
"What happened between the two of you in that alley way has nothing to do with the existence we created for Angel. We washed the soul clean of all the demon's crimes but traces of the soul's heart remained. Traces we have no power over and, if left alone, these traces would have stayed dormant for the rest of his natural life"
"I don't understand" Buffy hated how these creatures always spoke in riddles. **Either Angel remembered or he didn't, and what the hell was a trace?**
"His soul was unknowingly reaching for yours, Angel doesn't have any memories of you but he can still feel you. In its' truest form, real love can never be forgotten, it's the strongest emotion in the whole universe and it leaves it's mark on the soul. That was the trace of emotion we couldn't remove. When you were thrown together the soul recognised its mate and tried to reach out for it"
Buffy felt a deep sense of relief that it was indeed her soul that Angel had reached for and not just a body. But the relief was quickly pushed aside by anger; somebody had to pay for the pain she was suffering.
"You should have warned me this could happen." she knew the moment the words passed her lips that the argument was pointless What could she have possibly done to prevent it?. There was always the slightest possibility that one day their paths could accidentally cross again; it was after all a very small world.
For the first time the Oracles actually looked flustered.
"We didn't see it coming. A gypsy blessing has been attached to his soul, It had enough power to awaken his deepest emotions and disturb those traces we couldn't remove" The Oracles reluctantly admitted their failure.
"Gypsy?" Buffy voice wavered slightly at the implications.
"He saved a life and received a Romany blessing. The new life we inlaid for Angel has now drastically altered direction. This soul is now following an identical cycle to his past life. The gypsy blessing has started this cycle and it can't be stopped. Meeting you, loving you... "
"And let's not forget leaving me, that's what always happened next" Buffy interrupted bitterly. That was how the cycle always ended, she really didn't need that part spelled out for her.
**Angel always left**
"If that is his destiny, that is what will happen, you can not prevent it"
Buffy looked at both the Oracles without hiding the deep contempt she felt for their lies, despite all their promises they had messed up again.
**But no more**
Buffy was sick to death of the PTB screwing with her life. Taking a deep breath she vowed it was time to take her destiny into her own hands.
**Nobody would ever hurt her again**
"You're wrong, I can prevent it and what's more, I will"
*****
"Buffy? What did they say?" Giles' voice was so full of love and concern that Buffy just wanted to sink into his arms and hide from the world.
"Cliff notes version, it's all been for nothing, the last five years of hell, everything, for nothing." Buffy bit her bottom lip determined not to cry. Tears had no part in the new Buffy's make up; tears were a thing of the past.
"But, but how can he possibly remember?" Giles asked, flabbergasted that the Oracles could have gone back on their word.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, no matter what the Oracles had explained, none of it made any sense to her. Angel would never remember her and yet he was destined to find her.
"It seems yet another cosmic fuck up has started the ball rolling all over again and, here's the best part, it's heading my way. It's called *let's rewind and play out all the heartache again*" Buffy laughed but the sound was almost hysterical in its' bitterness
"Angel is once again destined to find me, love me and.....Well, you know what comes next...." Buffy trailed off unable to continue.
Giles held the small girl in his arms and softly stroked her hair.
"Buffy, destinies are not always written in stone. Circumstances are different this time, who knows what the outcome will be" Giles offered as helpfully as possible. He hated to see such despair in those beautiful eyes. It just wasn't fair.
" Angel leaves, that's what he does, that's what he always does. It doesn't matter if he's a vampire or a human, in the end he can't help himself" Buffy sadly remembered the conversation she and Angel had shared the day they had laid in each others arms waiting for the meteorite to end the world. Angel had told her all about her own forgotten day. The day he had found himself human, the day the world had been theirs for the asking, only Angel gave it up albeit for her, but in the end he still gave it up.
Giles placed his hands on top of Buffy's shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes, past the pain, as if trying to connect with her very heart.
"It doesn't necessarily have to be that way again. You and Angel were never meant to find life easy, you were always expected to fight, maybe you still have a chance to fight for each other. I'm serious, Buffy. Destinies are not always written in stone" Giles replied truthfully and hoped with all his heart she understood his meaning.
Buffy sighed, but she simply didn't have enough strength left in her to believe any longer.
"I wish with all my heart that was true. I want to believe in forever and soul mates and everything that accompanies that dream but, it will never happen. You seem to have forgotten one tiny thing, I'm allergic to happy endings"
*****
Four months later
Wesley pushed open the front door and rushed to answer the ringing phone.
"Cordelia, God it's good to hear your voice" he sighed sinking into the nearest chair. He was shattered, both physically and mentally and just the sound of Cordelia's sweet voice filled his heart with comfort.
"How's Angel doing?" Cordelia asked coming straight to the point.
She was far too worried these days for both of her friends to waste time with idle chit-chat.
The last four months had been hell on all of them, it was as if they were all sitting on a hidden time bomb and nobody knew the exact time of detention. Once again their lives had been thrown into complete chaos.
After returning from London, Buffy had decided she could no longer work for Angel Investigations. Cordelia and Gunn could hardly believe the change that had taken over the Slayer; it was almost too painful to watch. Buffy had closed down, she became cold and hard and built a high wall around herself guaranteeing that nobody would ever be able to touch her again. It was only after Giles had explained what the Oracles had foretold, that they finally understood the change. Buffy might not be able to stop Angel finding her, but she could prevent him from getting close. After making her decision to leave, Buffy had kissed her friend's goodbye and returned to the only place on earth that she could possibly hope to find the support she would need. She was finally going home, back to Sunnydale where her family and friends would cocoon her and protect her from the outside world and more importantly, from Liam Pryce.
The only thought in Buffy's head as she drove the two hours back to Sunnydale with Giles, was that fate wouldn't break her heart a second time, she wouldn't give it the chance.
*****
"I just don't know what to do for the best anymore "
Cordelia immediately became concerned by the tone in the Englishman's voice. There was genuine despair hidden between his words.
"Angel's completely obsessed with finding Buffy, it's taken over his whole life. The dreams are becoming much stronger and clearer; it's as if they are draining the life out of him. He wakes up each morning exhausted and then spends the rest of the day trying to decipher their meanings. Of course, It's getting him nowhere and it's ripping him in two but he doesn't seem to care." Wesley shuddered as if a cold breeze had rushed over him but, it wasn't a nip in the air that had chilled him; it was the fear in his heart, fear that was increasing with each new day. Wesley knew only too well that something was about to break
"Giles has been helping me research and despite what the Oracles said, Angel knows that something is wrong. Of course, he'd heading in completely the wrong direction. The other week I caught him researching reincarnation and then I found a book he had hidden on schizophrenia....He's just so confused" Wesley closed his eyes and wondered what on earth to do next.
"This has got to stop"**Reincarnation** **schizophrenia** Cordelia sounded even more shocked as she took in this new information.
"I was hoping this obsession with finding Buffy would die out but its not, if anything it's getting worse. Angel's tormented and he doesn't understand why and dammit, it's not right. Wesley quickly brought his anger under control for fear of frightening Cordelia any further. When he continued it was in a much more rational tone.
"I wish I knew what to tell him, I wish I knew what would put his mind at ease" he exhaled with a deep rattle of frustration that nothing could prevent.
"Well, maybe it's time he was given the choice, maybe you should just tell him the truth?" the soft female voice made so much sense that Wesley wanted to cry with gratitude. He had been having the same thought for days but Giles, for his own reasons, was staunchly against the idea. One wanted to protect Buffy and the other was desperate to release Angel from his torment. The two Englishmen had argued the pros and cons for hours but still they couldn't agree. Now, sadly, a cold stalemate had resulted.
"I'm so worried, Cordelia. I haven't seen him for two days" Wesley replied sadly and thought for the hundredth time about going behind Giles' back and to hell with it.
**But what would you possibly say that would sound sane?** he repeatedly questioned. Turning his attention back to Cordelia, Wesley noticed that the line had gone very quiet; all he could hear was the sound of the woman's heavy breathing.
"Sweetheart, are you all right?" Wesley asked, feeling a slight panicking sensation as the silence continued.
When Cordelia finally returned to the phone her voice sounded strangely quiet.
" I think you can stop worrying about where Angel is, he's just about to walk though our door" came the very hushed reply.
TBC