Author: Tenko
Title: Humorless Humor! (Presented title: DBZ Humor...Yes
More of It!)
Summary: Just stupid DBZ humor that I came up
with...humorless or not you decide! This chapter; Z Warrior Dollies!
A/N: Honestly...I have no clue where this is going. Yep
that's right, I just opened up Word popped out a title and a Summary and have
NOTHING whatsoever planned. Pretty
stupid, eh? Yep! So here's what I'm gonna do...Ima start
typing and see where I get. "NANI?!" you all say, but chill it'll be
JJUUUUUST fine! :) *evil grin* Oh yeah, these will pry be the usual, things
that will never ever happen...so used...but funny, ne? Just figured it
out...first we're going with Z Warrior Dollies! Later...more lunacy!
Ages: Chibi Trunks: 8, Goten 7, Gohan 17, who gives a damn about
the rest? Oh yeah, Bra (and let's say she's 7) somehow ended up in this
fic...*note* the Dollies ages aren't necessarily the real characters ages! ;)
************************
The setting
was a big lush forest where all of the Z Warriors had somehow ended up
unconscious! Somehow Mirai Trunks is there, too! o.O' Pretty soon all of them woke up and heard singing.
"What
the flying fermented beans???" They all wondered out loud. Vegeta and Chibi Trunks wandered over to a
nearby tree where they saw a shadowy figure sitting there. The figure was singing some strange song...
"...But
he's irresistible, up close and personal! Now inescapable, I can hardly
breathe..." The figure continued to sing that strange song...catchy
though.
"Oh,
so you guys FINALLY woke up, geez, I was about to inject you all with
adrenaline!!!" :) The figure taps a needle and squirts a little of the
adrenaline out. :)
"Uhhh,
yeah...who are you???"
"You
don't know who I am...I'm hurt...so terribly hurt..." The figure faked
being sad and jumped down from the tree.
Vegeta and C. Trunks eyes widened in fear as they ran behind Bulma.
"Vegeta,
Trunks...why the Hell are you hiding behind me?" Bulma asked annoyed.
"It's
HER!" C. Trunks yelled to them all.
"It's
ME--" The figure revealed herself as none other than the notorious..."--TENKO!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Vegeta and C. Trunks screamed. Everyone
else sweatdropped.
"I'm
not that scary am I?" Tenko pouted.
Vegeta and C. Trunks nodded and Tenko frowned.
"What?
JUST because of the first chapter in The MIB?!, you're scared of me??"
Vegeta and C. Trunks nod again. Tenko
shrugs.
"Here's
what I want to know; why do you have all of us here?" Gohan asked in his
Great Saiyaman costume. Tenko looked
him up and down and busted out laughing at his costume.
"I
remember, you go by "The Great Saiyaman" now, how
retarded!" Gohan shrugged and
thought that she was just jealous of his costume.
"Anywayyyy,
you are all here because I want to play with my new Z Warrior dollies!!!"
With that she busted out her shadow laptop that oddly resembled Washu's and
turned them all into dolls! The dolls
all sweatdropped.
***Top of the line Z Warrior dollies that Funimation has
locked in a deep dark cave so no one will find them!***
1) Wayward Vegeta -- When you squeeze his belly he actually
screams 'WHERE'S MY GODDAMN VIAGRA?!"!
Plastic Viagra bottle not included.
2) Slap Happy ChiChi -- Comes with frying pan and when you
pull her string she barks 10 different commands to Gohan and Goku! Her arms actually move so she came smack
anything in sight!
3) Mischievous Gohan -- Comes with schoolbooks and
"other" reading material.
When you pull his string he says, "Thank Kami that mom stopped
looking under the mattress!" Bed and removable mattress not included. (I
have to thank my friend, Vegita, for this one because on his site, which you
can find through mine, he has his new Saiya-jins' Inn feature where you can get
into the rooms of our favorite Saiyans for some comedy--Gohan's room is similar
to this so that's where I got it!)
4) Kawaii Chibi Trunks Dolly -- Kawaii Chibi Trunks Dolly is
for little girls all over who can't get enough of the cute little
Saiya-jin! The plush little boy comes
with a hair brush, removable clothes, and a kawaii penguin suit! Sorry, chibi tux not included!
5) Furiccolo (A/N: get it...play on Furby...SHHH, I couldn't
think of anything else!!) -- This green
hairless type of Furby is the newest thing!
When you put him up to other Furiccolo's they immediately begin to spar; BONUS; when they knock each other
out, they'll suck into one Furiccolo!
Common Furiccolo line; Special Beam...WHAT THE HELL?! DAMNIT FUNIMATION!
(Their ears really move, too!!)
6) Oliver Son Goku -- Oliver Son Goku comes with ragged
clothes, an empty bowl (chopsticks included), and sad puppy dog eyes. Push the button on his back and he says,
"Please sir, I want some more...NANI?! I can't have more?!
KAAAA-MEEEE-HAAAAA-MEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Later models will include
plastic kamehameha beams that really shoot from his hands!
7) Rogaine Krillin -- Rogaine Krillin is the newest thing to
hit the Funimation cave! The noseless
midget actually grows his hair! Rub the plastic Rogaine bottle over his
head...twist his arm in an unnatural way and watch the hair grow as he screams
in pain about his arm!
8) PMSing Bulma -- PMSing Bulma goes from very calm to madly
insane with rage at any loud sound! As
soon as PMSing Bulma's sensors pick up a loud sound her face will turn red with
anger and her plush hand will make fits! She'll also yell obscene words and
phrases! Bag o' Bricks not included!
9) Vision Impaired Tien -- That's right, our favorite three-eyed
warrior is having vision problems! Tien
comes with a contact case with three blue pupil contacts! You can also get a pair of black eyeglasses
and a monocle for that third eye! Other
accessories are the eye laser; give your Vision Impaired Tien laser vision
correction surgery, and the eye chart; see how screwed up your Vision Impaired
Tien is! *NEW* Vision Impaired Tien now screams in pain when you accidentally
mess up his laser vision correction surgery!!!
10) Bad Pick-Up Line Yamcha -- This is what every woman
needs! Need a laugh? Bad Pick-Up Line
Yamcha will gladly entertain you with his stupid pick-up lines! B.P.U.L.Y.
comes with greased back hair, cheap cologne, and an outfit that only a wannabe
would wear! Watch out ladies; he's over
Bulma and back in action!
11) Big Miming Chaiotzu -- That's right, Big Miming Chaiotzu
is a ladies Mime! The little guy comes
with mime outfit, mime make-up and the book, "What a Mime
Wants". Set him up and watch as he
imitates being in a box, holding a rope with a raging Saiya-jin on the other
end, and 15 other "Big Miming" acts!
12) Big Pimpin' Mirai Trunks -- Hell yeah, this is the toy
we've all been waiting for! Now that
the Androids are gone Mirai Trunks has found his calling...pimpin', what
else? Mirai Trunks comes with a hot
tub, wine/glasses, 6 plastic ladies with removable bikini tops (you dirty
people), baggy clothes (removable of course), three pairs of swim trunks, heavy
gold chains, and he's now packin' heat, man!
Not included; mansion and night club sets!
13) Lingerie Lovin' Bra -- Bra's growing up so fast and so's
her love for the finer things in life! ^!~
LLB comes with her very own closet full of lingerie. LLB first comes in
a robe...remove it to see some of her finest (and least revealing)lingerie! Be careful not to let any Feed Me Gotens
around or they'll start to malfunction and get a nose bleed...? More lingerie is available in separate
packs...Watch out Barbie, this chick's got more cloths than even YOU!
14) Feed Me Goten -- Feed Me Goten is a plush, squeezable,
huggable toy that's stomach rumbles whenever you get close! He comes with a bib, chopsticks, 25 bowls of
rice and other soups, 28 plates of food, 15 different kinds of fruit, and one
glass of tea! You'll have to buy lots
of extra bowls, plates, and fruit because he can become temperamental when not
fed regularly and destroy them all (not to mention the toy sometimes forgets
how strong he is with those Panasonics in place!). *note; all of the above is just his breakfast, be sure to buy our
lunch, dinner, and all-you-can-eat buffet packages, too!* Napkins and your
everlasting sanity; not included! *WARNING: Feed Me Gotens tend to malfunction
and get nose bleeds when faced toward Lingerie Lovin' Bras!*
15) Hair Stylin' 18 --
Our favorite Android "babe" is now our favorite hair stylin'
dolly! She comes with red, blue, and
black hair dyes along with mini scissors and brush! Be warned not to cut her
hair too short or she'll scream, "YOU PUNK! THAT DOESN'T GROW BACK!"
Thankfully we now have a Hair Stylin' 18 wig line!
16) Explore Your Surroundings Marron -- Yes, this cute 4-year-old
is young and in love--with exploring the Kame house that is! Marron comes with a pink and blue dress,
Roshi's porno magazines, a trunk of sex toys, a box of condoms and a version
set of the Kame house for Marron to find all of these "toys" in!
17) Runner-up Beauty Queen Videl -- Videl got sick of all
this striving to save peoples lives by fighting so she turned to a fashion
consultant for help! What did she do?
She joined the Satan City Beauty Pageant of course! Runner-up Beauty Queen Videl comes with tissues, swim suit, punching
bag (for the talent section), evening gown, and a list of reasons of why she
should have won! Videl also begins
crying (with real tears and mascara running down her face)when they announce her
as the runner-up! Be careful; when
Videl gets too close on her mini stage to the real Beauty Queen, she'll lash
out and begin to strangle her! Also...rumor has it that one of the judges was
her DAD, Beauty Pageant Judge Mr. Satan! Can anyone say, rigged???
****************
*Tenko
continues to play with her Z Warrior Dollies*
"Oh, uh yeah! Hi! Do you like
being Z Warrior dollies?" **She holds up her Big Pimpin' Mirai Trunks and
says in an imitation of M. Trunks voice*
"Oh Hell yeah, Tenko!"
"YEY! I personally wish I had the whole
collection! Tomboy Pan is missing as
well as Slurp-You-Up Cell! I almost forgot that I lost my Manicure Frieza Dolly
and my Beauty Pageant Judge Mr. Satan!!" *sighs* "I'll be sure to get
the whole collection someday!"
********End first chapter of my lunacy/idiocy
Did I forget any?
Lemmi know what you think and if I need to add any!
