Warning: This fic is sad! Contains more angst than romance! R&R! Or I will not write anymore! How will I know if you like my fics if you don't review?
Hold Me
A fanfiction by Kyo
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"Come in!" A masculine voice called from the kitchen of his apartment. "The door is open!" The door opened and inside came a girl of the same age as the boy, meaning the both were eighteen. She was wearing casual clothes and had a sad look on her face.
The boy came from the kitchen with a worried look, as if he knew that she was sad for some reason, even if he didn't know what was this reason.
"Sakura, are you alright?" The boy asked in a gentle voice as he took the girl's coat away. Sakura nodded lightly, but everybody could have noticed that she was sad, especially when all the time she was wearing a beautiful smile. But now, now she cast her eyes low and didn't dare to look at the boy in the eye, because if she did, she wouldn't be able to keep her tears in.
The boy conducted her to the coach, where she sat silently. "What's wrong? You can tell me." The boy assured gently. When she refused yet again to meet his gaze, he took her chin in his hand and rose her face with gentle fingers. She had her eyes closed. "What happened?" He asked just above a whisper, his voice was full of concern. She finally opened her emerald eyes, astounding green eyes that could take your breath away. She met his gaze and tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, but she refused to shed them. She had to be strong.
But the time came when she couldn't handle the pain. It was too strong to even try to hide. She wanted someone to hold her, to provide her with the safety and security she had lost. She wanted someone to hold her, someone she could trust and someone that could help her handle the pain.
"Hold me." She begged. He did as told and crushed her to his heart. Once in his arms she dared to shed her tears, and they fell freely, soaking his shirt, soaking his shoulder. But he didn't care. He just wanted to free her from that pain and that sorrow that surrounded her. A pain and a sorrow he didn't know where it came from, but he wanted to free her from it. He wanted the pain to be his, that way she didn't have to suffer. It was the last thing he wanted to see or feel. To see her suffering to feel her suffering was the most excruciating torture you could make him go through.
He didn't know what to do. It was getting very late. The Moon was starting to get it's place high in the sky, but she kept crying on his shoulder. He rocked her back and forth, like mothers do to their little kids. He crushed her to his heart, wondering who or what was the culprit of her pain. He would kill the person that made her got through all that pain.
Sakura cried on his shoulder. She cried till her eyes were dry and his shirt was drenched. She cried till she felt she would never be able to shed a single tear ever again. And even after she finished crying, she kept crushed to him. She wanted to make the pain go away, but it seemed impossible, she still couldn't believe this was real and not some kind of nightmare, a horrible and painful nightmare. Deep in her heart she knew this was real. Her life will never be the same again. Never again.
She calmed down enough to tell him what was the cause of her sorrow. She could tell he felt the same pain, even if he didn't know why. Every time she tried to tell him, her voice would fail, her mouth would dry and a lump would rise in her throat. All she could stutter was "Touya... Touya." And her voice would fail again.
Even if he wanted to know what caused her pain, he couldn't force her to tell him what was wrong. He wouldn't ever pressure or force her to anything. He would rather die. He hugged her and rubbed her back. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. She let go of him and met his gaze. He could see infinite sadness in those eyes that only the day before were laughing endlessly.
She took a deep breath. "Touya... he... died." She took another deep breath as new tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, even if she thought she would never be able to cry again. He had a hard time to believe it. He kept his cool. He needed to be strong for her. Even if he didn't like Touya very much, he was a good guy, and he appreciated him.
"Kinomoto-san knows?" He asked softly. Now that he knew why she was like this, he rather not know because now he knew he couldn't do anything to fix it. He couldn't fix death. And he felt terrible and useless.
"No, he doesn't." Sakura said after taking another deep breath in an effort to keep her tears from falling, even if she tried her hardest to keep them in her eyes, two lonely and sad tears made their way down her cheeks. Sakura's father had gone in a dig, that's why he didn't know of the happenings.
"How?" He asked feeling how a suffocating lump was forming in his throat. He felt sad and angry at the same time. Sad because, in a way, even if he made as if he didn't care about him, he did. He felt angry because he had dared to leave Sakura alone and unsafe, and most of all, he had left Sakura sad.
Sakura closed her eyes tight. It was getting hard to breath. "In a car accident. He..." At this point she refused to say the word. "Instantly." She covered her face with her hands and hid under them. She wanted to cry more, to get away from the pain, but this time, tears never came. He came closer and offered his support, even if he still felt useless now that he knew he couldn't put a remedy to the problem that made her feel so sad.
"Ssh, ssh, come here. You need to rest." He picked her up and carried her to his room, where she could rest. She didn't protest, or didn't have the strength to. She put her arms around her neck and made an effort to smile. But she failed.
He laid her down on his bed. He turned around to leave but she stopped him by grabbing his wrist. "Call otou-san?" She asked weakly. He nodded and turned off the light. Sakura had asked him to call her father because she didn't think she could have the courage to tell him that her brother had died. She couldn't even believe it herself, how could she tell her father about it?
Syaoran closed the door behind him. He felt tired and sad and angry and more sad. He picked up the phone and punched Kinomoto-san's cell number in. It rang once... he felt the lump in his throat grow bigger... twice... he wondered what could he tell him... three times... he loved Kinomoto-san like a father... four timed... the father he never had.
"Hello?" Came Kinomoto-san's cheery voice. At this point Syaoran's courage had dropped off. What he was about to tell him would stop that cheery voice.
"Kinomoto-san..." He said softly, his voice was failing him.
"Li-san?" Fujitaka asked in a worried voice. It was strange that the boy called him, and it was very late, and he had called him to the cell phone. This meant trouble. "What can I do for you?" Fujitaka asked in his usual cheery voice.
"Kinomoto-san... Sakura-san asked me to call you." He started uncertainly, taking in deep breaths and still trying to keep his cool, it was getting harder by the second.
"Why? Is something wrong?" Came Fujitaka's worried voice, fearing for the worst.
"It's Touya. He had an accident." He said slowly. He hated himself for being the one to tell him such a bad news. "He... died." He said even more slowly.
"Ex... excuse me?" Fujitaka asked. His breathing was coming in short gasps and his heart was beating fast.
"He died." Syaoran repeated, feeling even more miserable.
Fujitaka couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't believe he had lost his first son. He had lost someone he loved already, and loosing Touya... it was more than painful... more than that.
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Sakura opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was a white ceiling. She felt sad, very sad. But, why? She didn't remember. She stared at the ceiling for some minutes trying to remember what had happened yesterday and what was she doing her. For it clearly wasn't her room, it didn't feel like it. She stirred to her side and found a still sleeping Syaoran by her side. He wasn't having a pleasant dream by the look he had on his face. He looked worried, sad and most of all, very tired. She shoo him lightly. He woke up with a start. Feeling disoriented and very tired.
That's when it hit Sakura. That's when she remembered why was she here and what had happened the day before. She was sad again. She wanted to forget it, to forget everything and go away. But that wasn't going to happen, she had to stay here and confront her problems.
Syaoran looked at her. The moment he saw the sadness in her eyes, his sadness returned too.
He couldn't bare seeing her cry. She had started to cry again, her tears didn't seem to ever stop, even if she had dried her eyes the say before. He sat beside her on the bed, in front of her. With gentle fingers he brushed her tears away from her eyes. He smiled a sad smiled down at her, she wasn't capable even of that.
"Sakura, please don't cry. Touya wouldn't like to see you cry." He said in a whisper, caressing her soft cheek. She imitated his movements, as she too stroked his cheek with he pad of her thumb. "You should remember him always, that way, you will never be alone." He kissed away the last remains of her tears as she closed her eyes and pictured the image of his brother in her mind. Yes, she will remember him always. She will remember every single moment she had shared with him.. The good times and the bad times, the smiles, the angers. But that didn't make the pain go away. She had lost him forever, but she couldn't do anything to fix that. The only thing that remain was cry. She will cry while smiling. She will smile because she will remember that joyful moments, but she will cry because he would never be by her side ever again to live more moment nor to revive them in their memories. It was sad, but Oh God, it was more painful.
They got up, they didn't even bother to make bed. They were not in the mood to make beds. They sat on the couch and stayed silent for some minutes. None of them knew what to do or how to act. They had never lost anybody so close to them, so suddenly. Sure, Sakura had lost her mother and Syaoran had lost his father, but... they were so young... they couldn't comprehend what was going on. They couldn't feel the pain, because deep in their hearts they knew or thought that they would come back, that it wasn't permanent. To them, they were on vacation.
But now...
Now they could understand, and they could feel the pain. Suddenly Sakura started laughing. She was laughing, but sad tears flowed freely from her eyes. Syaoran thought she was going insane, but when she started talking she wasn't saying inconsistencies like he thought she would, it had all the sense of the world.
"You know how I'll remember him?" She asked in a pained voice. "He will always be the overprotective brother to me, but caring and he was always there when I needed help. Even if he tried to hide it over that macho face." She paused for a second, then she asked. "How will you remember him?" She asked the Little Wolf.
"Me?" He asked in a surprised tone. Sakura nodded. "He will always be the annoying, glaring, overprotective brother of my best friend." He said with a sad smile. "And I will always love him." At this point his voice cracked. Sakura was surprised. Syaoran was crying? And he had said that he loved him? "You know why?" He asked softly. Casting his eyes low, refusing to meet her sad gaze. "Because he was always there for you. Because he loved you." Syaoran tried to keep the tears from falling. He couldn't believe that he, mighty Li Syaoran from the Li Clan was crying over the person that he believed he had hated. "But now that he is gone, he will not be able to help you anymore." At this point he looked into her sad emerald eyes. "Sakura, I love you. I love you more than anybody in this world. Will you let me be the one at your side?" He asked as he gently brushed an auburn lock away from her tear strained face. Sakura didn't respond. Her brain was processing the new information, but even if her brain told her that he had just told her that he loved her, she still couldn't believe it.
"Syaoran, you... love me?" She asked uncertainly, her heart beating fast. He nodded.
"I love you too..." She said softly.
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In some beautiful place where only the souls of good people can go, Touya and Nadeshiko were watching this tender scene.
"Finally! It was about time that the Gaki confessed!" he said in an annoyed tone, but his eyes were smiling. He couldn't have wished better for his little imouto, his little kaijuu.
Behind him, Nadeshiko smiled from ear to ear. This was what she had wanted for her daughter. A nice young man, handsome, powerful, and most of all, he would be able to protect her little baby. That was what she wanted the most.
"Did you know Mom that that baka gaki had been in love with my little kaijuu for more than five years? He is slow okaa-san." Nadeshiko nodded. "He may be slow my son, but that only proves that he really loves her."
Touya nodded. "I didn't know he loved me, okaa-san." He said a bit sadly. "I loved him too, I couldn't have wished for a better little brother."
FIN
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That was sooo sad ::sniff:: I'll never ever write something so sad ever again! But Review anyway. If you want to read happier stories read my other fanfics! "Elements" and "The Best Birthday Present" They are not sad! They are kawaii!