You and your best friend, Eric, are driving to work in the beat-up Mustag your dad always complains about. This morning you're out particularly early because your dad found out there is a leak in the Window.
"This piece of Feces was never worth the money I paid for it," he screamed.
But right now, you try to put that out of your mind. You talk to your friend about John Rocker, not paying any attention to the road. Suddenly, you hear a large thud. You twist your head forward to find that you've accidentally rear-ended the van in front of you.
"Oh great," Eric says sitting next to you. "Your dad's gonna have a Cow with this one."
You can just imagine the driver stepping out of the car with a Pin and then smashing the Window of your car. But for some strange reason, the van doesn't stop. It just keeps driving. Curious of the driver's actions, you jam your foot on the clutch and follow the van in front of you.
After following the van for almost 28 minutes, one of the back doors on the van swings open. Inside you can see the head of some kind of green object.
"What in Nachonia is that?" you ask yourself. Your mind races to all kinds of different explanations about the strange object; however, you are convinced that the green object you saw in the back of that van was the head of an alien.
Your friend, of course, doesn't believe you. "What a fudgin shiznit you are! That's just a cabbage truck!"
"There's no such thing as a cabbage truck!" you scream back. "Besides, you think I just fell off the cabbage truck yesterday?"
After arguing for about an hour, you realize once again that you are driving. You veer your car back onto the highway and start following the mysterious van, despite the fact that Eric is screaming "##@%@*%!"
The van realizes it's being followed and quickly turns on a corner with its tires screeching loudly. It pulls into a driveway, and the driver rushes through the living room of the house. You park the car across the street, in front of the house. The window is rolled down and you are hunched down behind the Window. Suddenly, a goon with tux and a yellow suit rips the Window clean off the car. You cower in fear, your shirt soaking wet. The goon grabs you by the shirt and throws you on to the street. Eric runs off for godzilla.
Suddenly, you wake up tied to a chair in a pitch yellow room. A man walks up behind you and blows some soup in your face.
"So," the soup blowing man says. "We've finally caught up with Agent Male."
"Male," you say looking puzzled. "I'm not Agent Male."
"You're not Agent Male?" the soup blowing man says. "Who are you then?"
"David Wheeler sir," you answer in a quivering voice.
"Oh, we're sorry," the soup blowing man says slapping his forehead. "Tell you what, because we made such a big accident, I'll give you this $20 dollar gift certificate to Old Navy and the doorman will give you the Window to your car back. Honestly, we're very sorry from the bottom of our pancreas. Bye-bye now."
You walk out of the living room with your car's Window in your hand. You pass the van that you tailed that morning. Curiously, you peer into the back door of the van to see what's inside. Slowly, you put your fingers on the door handle. You can feel your lungs pushing the air through your nostrils. Building up enough strength, you push the button on the handle and throw the door open with your eyes shut. There is a second of silence when you slowly open your eyes to find ...... a cabbage.
"This piece of Feces was never worth the money I paid for it," he screamed.
But right now, you try to put that out of your mind. You talk to your friend about John Rocker, not paying any attention to the road. Suddenly, you hear a large thud. You twist your head forward to find that you've accidentally rear-ended the van in front of you.
"Oh great," Eric says sitting next to you. "Your dad's gonna have a Cow with this one."
You can just imagine the driver stepping out of the car with a Pin and then smashing the Window of your car. But for some strange reason, the van doesn't stop. It just keeps driving. Curious of the driver's actions, you jam your foot on the clutch and follow the van in front of you.
After following the van for almost 28 minutes, one of the back doors on the van swings open. Inside you can see the head of some kind of green object.
"What in Nachonia is that?" you ask yourself. Your mind races to all kinds of different explanations about the strange object; however, you are convinced that the green object you saw in the back of that van was the head of an alien.
Your friend, of course, doesn't believe you. "What a fudgin shiznit you are! That's just a cabbage truck!"
"There's no such thing as a cabbage truck!" you scream back. "Besides, you think I just fell off the cabbage truck yesterday?"
After arguing for about an hour, you realize once again that you are driving. You veer your car back onto the highway and start following the mysterious van, despite the fact that Eric is screaming "##@%@*%!"
The van realizes it's being followed and quickly turns on a corner with its tires screeching loudly. It pulls into a driveway, and the driver rushes through the living room of the house. You park the car across the street, in front of the house. The window is rolled down and you are hunched down behind the Window. Suddenly, a goon with tux and a yellow suit rips the Window clean off the car. You cower in fear, your shirt soaking wet. The goon grabs you by the shirt and throws you on to the street. Eric runs off for godzilla.
Suddenly, you wake up tied to a chair in a pitch yellow room. A man walks up behind you and blows some soup in your face.
"So," the soup blowing man says. "We've finally caught up with Agent Male."
"Male," you say looking puzzled. "I'm not Agent Male."
"You're not Agent Male?" the soup blowing man says. "Who are you then?"
"David Wheeler sir," you answer in a quivering voice.
"Oh, we're sorry," the soup blowing man says slapping his forehead. "Tell you what, because we made such a big accident, I'll give you this $20 dollar gift certificate to Old Navy and the doorman will give you the Window to your car back. Honestly, we're very sorry from the bottom of our pancreas. Bye-bye now."
You walk out of the living room with your car's Window in your hand. You pass the van that you tailed that morning. Curiously, you peer into the back door of the van to see what's inside. Slowly, you put your fingers on the door handle. You can feel your lungs pushing the air through your nostrils. Building up enough strength, you push the button on the handle and throw the door open with your eyes shut. There is a second of silence when you slowly open your eyes to find ...... a cabbage.