Oooooookay folks ^-^ READ AND REVIEW |P
Dedicated to Toadie, who put me on her (his?) favourite authors list ^-^
(if you don't understand some of the inner dialogue: think of it as two different people (ooooh! Im givin it away!!))
Wish
Chapter three: Talking to Myself
The next morning I woke with a start. I had been dreaming, it was so odd, I was fighting my best friends from back at home, Lauren and Claudia, and Katie was crying. I felt terrible when I awoke, why would I want to hurt any of them?
I got into the shower and put it on as high as it would go. I could feel the intense heat as it flowed over my body, soothing my stiff muscles but burning my skin. I looked at the water pooling at my feet and running into the drain off to the side as I washed my hair. I had a flashback of home, and a pang of homesickness washed over me. I quickly shook it off and the burning water on my face kept my attention away from the sadness. It was odd, being in the shower today I felt as if someone was watching me, like someone was in the shower with me. I turned off the water and toweled off but it didn't go away, it got so strong at one point I went to the door and checked if anyone was there – nobody.
I went into the room and got dressed. I stopped short, there was a bag on the dresser, a backpack! It was mine! I ran over to it and opened it, just last night I had wished for it, my CD player, journal, running shoes (I had been wearing boots from tobogganing), and photo album I had been showing to my friends. I checked the front pocket and sure enough, there was my first aid kit! Even an extra set of clothes since I had worries of getting wet that day. How had they gotten it? It didn't matter as I inhaled my sweatshirt, oh, I loved this red thing, with a pocket in front and a hood. I kept going and found I had five CD's with me too! Thank God for not being able to choose one CD when travelling, I didn't know how long I'd be here, Limp Bizkit would definitely get me in the mood to fight with some of the jerks here.
I stopped – fighting - why did it come back to that again? I shook my head, it was stupid to want to hurt these guys, they had never done anything to me – I just wanted to fight someone and win. I wanted to win a lot.
"Shut up, Sara." I said to myself. 'Put it out of your mind and it'll just go away.'
'But it won't, you know it's what you want.' My inner voice said, boy that thing was annoying.
'I am in control of my body, I can tell it to ignore stuff.' I said, convincing myself, but not succeeding.
'But not your mind.'
"Ok, this is stupid! Just SHUT UP! Ooh! Diet Coke!" I reached in and pulled out the cold metal can. I decided not to have anymore conversations with myself and lifted out some of my burned CDs. I had everything from Lauryn Hill to Our Lady Peace to Korn and Eminem. This would help me work out, if I could figure out how to charge the batteries.
* * *
"Did you see her stomach? She has abs like you, Dalet!" Chesta said, and ducked a towel whipped at his head.
"Yea, she has a tight butt, too!" Miguel added, all the dragonslayors were laughing and talking about the new girl. A girl hadn't been on the Fortress for a long time and all the men were talking about her – except Dilandau. He just stood in the shower area, toweling down, listening silently to their conversations.
"And did you see those legs? Oh what I wouldn't do to get in be-" Chesta said, this time Dilandau responded, obviously having been quiet because his anger had been building.
"Shut up! All of you! No more talk about the girl today! We have training to do!" And he stormed to the changing rooms where he got on his uniform. Every one of them stopped talking, Dilandau had authority for a reason, he was the best dragonslayor, and the best at keeping them in control.
Last night the sorcerers had requested to see him - they had drugged him and after that he didn't remember a thing. He just felt – protective over her. That girl, who he didn't even know. Dilandau busied himself that day barking orders at his men and working out. But he couldn't get her out of his mind.
* * *
"Aaarh!" I said through clenched teeth, my jaw tight and my hands on my head – my fingers digging into my temples. "SHUT UP!"
For the past two hours I had been debating in my head about my feelings, new topics had been brought up, things I didn't want to talk about.
'I saw how you looked at Chesta, like a subordinate. Maybe that's why you like Dilandau so much.'
'I don't! What are you talking about?! Where do you get these ideas?'
'I could feel that feeling when he hit you! You want Dilandau bad!'
'He's a jerk!'
'He has power, more than you! And you want that!'
'No! NO!' Finally I had to shout. "NO!" That ended it. But every time there was a quiet moment, it came back, I was asked if I wanted to work out, but I couldn't – this voice in my head, myself I guess, kept talking. Finally it did something I agreed with.
'Go fight.'
'What?!'
'Go fight!'
'Who?'
'The dragonslayors are training, ask if you can join them!' I smiled.
'Good idea. Then I can get this adrenaline out of my system.' I felt an inward smile as well. I chuckled and drew my hands away from my head, either this voice was getting less annoying or I had started to like it.
* * *
"Attack!" Dilandau shouted and the two swords were thrust together in viscous sparks.
I stood at the doorway, all backs turned to me as I studied them – the dragonslayors. I focused on their movements, memorizing what they did before they struck. I saw their weak spots, I memorized how they fought. It was odd what I had become, something so obsessed over fighting but had only had one real fight in my life. I knew that swords were not how I fought, so learning how it was done would make it easier to fight without it. Disarming these men would be easy at first, they would underestimate me, but then they would learn, but I could still defeat them, I needed a weapon though, a dagger or staff. I had neither, and I didn't want to learn how to sword fight this late in the game if I wanted to fight them now. Finally Dilandau noticed me, and immediately all movement stopped and every set of eyes focused on my leaning figure at the doorway. Dilandau stood and came over to me, talking lowly but not out of earshot to the other men.
"Enjoying watching us sweat? I heard the idea wasn't so foreign to you, you were quite the athlete yesterday." I smiled at his sarcasm and the complete silence just added to the tension between our two bodies. I picture him with his shirt off then shook my head to get the erotic image out of my head.
"Oh yes," I said, replying to his question and expression the heat between us at the same time. "Especially you, Dilandau." I grinned, as there were whispers from behind him. He blushed but knew I was making fun of him and I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten at the taunt.
'Told ya so.' I looked down, distracted by the voice.
'What? Go away! Not now!' I said inwardly as Dilandau noticed my darting eyes as I stared past him, seemingly through his chest.
'You like him!' and at that the voice was gone and I nervously returned my eyes to Dilandau's, he had no idea what was going on inside my head, which was probably good.
"Your men," I nodded in their direction, "How good are they without the sword?" A few of them chuckled, probably able to guess where I was headed. Dilandau understood as well.
"Better than you, I'm sure." I rolled my eyes as a few sounds of approval came from behind him. "Unless you doubt my authority." I eyed him, he was daring me to say something that would give him a reason to hit me. The power he held once again stirred desire in me. His eyes were wide, 'psycho' I thought. 'Yup' the other voice said.
"Can I fight 'em?" I said a little to eagerly and Dilandau gave me a look, then nodded tentatively. Dilandau and I walked towards the circle of sitting men, in the center was where they fought. I noticed they had armor on, but nothing serious. I went through what I would do in my head, staring at each one, figuring which one would be the best to demonstrate my ability. I picked Guimel, or at least that's what his friends called him when he rose. He put down his sword.
I stood in the center of the ring, everyone watching me, especially Dilandau.
"You can keep your sword – for now." Everyone chuckled and the boy lifted his sword of the bench where he had had it leaned. I smiled, this would be fun.
"Try not to hurt her too badly, Guimel, she is Folken's guest." Dilandau joked, but never letting his eyes stray from me. Guimel chuckled and readied himself in that familiar crouching position I had seen him in when he attacked his comrades. He was a good swordsman, and also at hand to hand combat, most of these men knew it, too, so probably thought I was digging myself a pit by choosing him. But I had seen him fight, and I was better.
Next part up soon! ^-^