Night 3 Marauders in Hospital
By Admiral Albia

A/n; Well, read the title. And the summary. Basically, the Marauders are going to be in hospital for a while... and they're driving Doctor Lily wild! Any ideas for their pranks (seven nights, seven pranks), please send `em in!
Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter etc, they belong to J.K. Rowling. (sarcastic voice; "No!") Don't mind the portrait, he's just bored...

Incidentally, someone said the Weasley twins invented fake wands... but Bagman said he `hadn't seen one that convincing in years`... it's the little things =) And hey, I know I'm picking holes in reviews...

Night 3
"Peter, are you sure this is the right box?"
"Yes!"
"Absolutely positive?"
"Yes!"
"Just checking..."
"Uh... guys? I know I'm being a teacher here, but we don't want to use this anywhere people might get hurt. E.g; We do not use this if there's a possibility of us putting off a member of staff who is performing an operation, OK?"
"Understood. But it would definitely put people off, it's not every day your colleagues turn into -" there was a rustle of paper "- a pink elephant, a purple seal, a pepper-pot - what? - or a frog..."
"That's all of them?" Sirius sounded disappointed.
"No, that's just the ones I know for certain we'll get."
"Right..."

/\/\/\
"Hey, what's this one?"
"What's the picture inside?"
"Erm... some kind of turnip with legs..."
"A turnip with legs? Hmm. Save it for Snape..."
/\/\/\
Zonko's Amazing Transfiguration Badges were incredibly simple to use; you just slapped them onto the victim then prodded them with your wand. One by one, staff and patients became large carrots, elephants, pigs or - in the case of Snape - a turnip with legs. A very warty turnip with legs.
Disaster struck, however, when they reached the end of the corridor. After gently placing a Badge on the back of Abidora Frinpot, the Ministress for Magic, they heard a very familiar voice cry out, "Accio Cloak!" and turned round to see Lily advancing on them, still bright red from where James had turned her into a giant heart with arms and legs.
"Uh... hi, Lily," James said, going red himself.
"Ah, so that's how you've been getting around," she responded, eyes following the levitation beam from Sirius' wand. "Do you lot have no scruples?"
"Nup!"
"Sirius, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. Incidentally, why is Snape a giant turnip with legs?"
"We thought it'd suit him."
"You're right, actually, it does... but that's not the point! You could have got someone hurt!"
"What, with Teacher Remus here? No chance." Remus swung a punch at James.
"And he's more attractive as a turnip, Lily, you have to admit," Sirius added, moving to screen James as his friend poked the Badge on Frinpot's back. There was a small, silent implosion and she turned into a large blue teddy bear.
"Right! That does it, I'm keeping this until James comes out!" Lily screamed, finally snapping. "Now GO BACK TO BED!"
/\/\/\
"Well, that's a bugger," Remus sighed as he dropped Peter back on the bed.
"A broken hallelujah if ever I saw one," James agreed. "She'll have taken it home, too. Darn."
"So? We don't need it again tonight. I'll go and get it tomorrow."
"Sirius, Lily isn't stupid. She'll have hidden it."
"Uh-uh. She won't have hidden it because she knowqs that the first thing you'll do when you get home will be to take it back, and I'm betting that she's tidied up the house. Therefore, if she hides it you'll turn the whole house upside down to find it..."
"Actually, I wouldn't. I'd use a Summoning Charm..."
"...or, you could use a Summoning Charm. But then what's the point in hiding it?"
"You two are so thick sometimes," Remus said calmly, turning to the next page in his book.
"What? What do you mean?"
"Well, she's human right now, isn't she? It's all hands on deck to de-Transfigure everyone out there right now; King Chaos reigns. If she's got it, it'll either be in her hand, in her office or in the staffroom, duh." There was a pause while the other three digested this. Then;
"Moony, you are brilliant!"
"Sirius, I'm a teacher. It's this thing called logic..."
"So, what shall we do?"
"Try and get hold of it tomorrow, when everything's calmed down a bit and James and Peter can walk."
"We'll be able to walk tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I listened in on the conversation she was having before we turned her into a giant heart... werewolf ears, remember? Speaking of which, somebody's coming so we'd better go to sleep...

Hmm... a Marauder without an Invisibility Cloak in a Marauder in trouble, t'would seem!
One review `til I write (and post) Chapter Five, and another four until Chapter Six... this is largely because I need feedback otherwise I get worried that nobody likes and stop writing it...
Flames will be used to light the fire.
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