Night 6 Marauders in Hospital
By Admiral Albia

A/n; Well, read the title. And the summary. Basically, the Marauders are going to be in hospital for a while... and they're driving Doctor Lily wild!
Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter etc., they belong to J.K. Rowling. (sarcastic voice; "I'd never have guessed!") Don't mind the portrait, he's just bored...

This is the last chapter; I was going to do one more but I ran out of ideas. Anyhoo, the Mega-Plan will tonight be revealed...

Night 6
"My last night tonight," Sirius said cheerfully as he forced the window open another inch. Peter shivered.
"Oh, Sirius, it's freezing in here! Can't you close the window, just for tonight?"
"No. Sorry, Peter, but I cannot sleep without the window open. You know that..." Peter nodded miserably. In the depths of winter, even when the snow was piled right up to the second floor windows of Hogwarts, even when a gale was blowing and threatening to knock the beds over; no matter what the weather, Sirius insisted on leaving the window open. It had made for many an icicled nose or frosted tongue in the mornings, but he simply would not be moved. And when the moon was swollen, Remus always backed him, too. Between them, they were the reason why that particular class got so many colds in the winter months. What was really unfair was that neither Sirius nor Remus had ever suffered a cold in their lives...
"Mega-Plan night, then?" James suggested to break up the argument which was sure to start at any second.
"Well, you can't do it without me, can you?"
"No, that's true. Right, it's been keyed to everyone but our... unwilling aide. Wands together, everyone..." The Marauders pulled out their wands and pointed them towards the ceiling, tips touching.
"On three. One. Two-"
"Um..."
"Yes, Peter?"
"What's the spell again?" Sirius groaned.
"I thought we'd been through this..."
"It's not morsmordre, is it? Because-"
"No, it's not. Close, though. It's morsmarauder, because mors tells the wand it's a sign and marauder is what we are. So we put our signs up and activate the spell at the same time, OK? Now. One. Two. Three-"
"Morsmarauder!"

/\/\/\
It was just as well that St. Mungo's Hospital was covered in Muggle-repelling charms, because what happened next would have made the headlines big time. For a second, the large pink cloud of smoke copied the mushroom shape of a nuclear bomb; then it expanded at the top and folded over the hospital in a dome, before vanishing completely. Inside the hospital, streamers and party poppers exploded from the walls; paper chains with various strange shapes on them suddenly appeared; and a large papier-mache sculpture of the Easter Bunny driving Santa's sleigh while Rudolph ate all the Easter eggs appeared in the lobby, to the great amusement of the children.
People were affected, too; nose hair suddenly grew into corkscrew curls, clown wigs and red noses appeared; people's outfits were magically changed and some of them levitated. Other, more fortunate people suddenly found themselves blue with orange spots or worse. And the wonderful thing was, every single person was different. No two people were exactly the same; a woman who was desperately trying to remember which of her identical twins was which suddenly realised how much easier it was when they weren't identical. The Marauders themselves had been transplanted into clown suits and wigs and had all suddenly turned purple.
"Five, four, three, two, one - ah, hello, Lily," James said, turning round as his beloved wife came tearing into the room wearing a bikini, a sombrero and a frown to match. "Nice skin colour; goes well with your hair." Lily's skin was now bright pink with small blue blotches in places.
"What did you do?" She demanded.
"Nothing!"
"Yeah, we didn't do this!"
"Why is it that as soon as something completely ridiculous happens, you automatically assume we're behind it?"
"Yeah, that's patient harassment!!" Lily blinked.
"It wasn't you?"
"No!"
"Then who was it?"
"This kind of spell's easy enough to key away from yourself," James offered. "Look for whoever isn't sky-blue-pink with yellow spots and you'll have found the person..."
"Then check his or her wand," Sirius offered. "It'll still have the spell stored, unless they've used it again since..."
/\/\/\
"Ah, there you are! What on earth is going on?"
"Snape! You're not... give me your wand."
"What? Why?"
"Do you want those gashes healed or not? Give me your wand." Sulkily, Snape handed it over.
"Hmm... prior incantato!" Out of the wand issued four symbols; a wolf howling against a moon, a wriggly line, a dog's paw and a curved `v` shape. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," Lily murmured. "You know, framing people really isn't very nice, Snape."
"What? I..."
"You didn't do it?" She waved his wand, causing small blue sparks to shoot out of the end. "The evidence is right here... deletrius!"
"Huh? I never cast that spell..."
"So why is it in your wand, you stupid man?"
"I don't know!"
/\/\/\
Snape would have been very interested indeed to know that in the Marauder's room, four wands were all displaying the shadowy remains of the same spell; the spell that had been used to plant the Mega-Plan charms into Snape's wand. It was complex and almost impossible to do, but they'd done it and were really feeling quite proud of themselves...
/\/\/\
"I'm telling you, you... woman, I did not do this! Are you deaf?"
"No, but I'm not blind either. The last thing your wand did was to activate these spells!"
"The last thing I did with my wand was to use it to read by once the lights had gone out!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Swear by Veritaserum?"
"Yes!"
"Right." Lily handed back the wand and marched off towards the Marauders' room, with a vague suspicion forming...
/\/\/\
The first thing she noticed was how quiet it was in there; the second was that four pillows were gently bouncing around the room, occasionally banging into each other with soft flump sounds. The third thing she noticed was that they'd all removed the spells...
"Oh, bugger!"
"Hm? Wha?" James asked just before Remus' pillow hit him on the head.
"You've wiped the evidence... never mind, go back to sleep."
"Haven't gone to sleep yet... who was it?"
"Anyone who's capable of storing a spell in another person's wand... i.e. you four." The Marauders suddenly looked extremely innocent. "I thought so... just go to sleep, OK?"
/\/\/\
"`Bye, Sirius!"
"Yeah, bye!"
"Have fun!"
"Oh, I will... I'm going to have to groom the unicorn, feed the peacock, feed the phoenix, feed the owl, the chickens, the goat; milk the goat, groom the horses, feed the horses, feed the unicorn..."
"You do that every day anyway."
"Yeah, but not after a week-long break, I don't! See you all soon!"
/\/\/\
"Hey, James!"
"Wha? Lily, `s-" James looked blearily at the clock "-two am. I only got back from hospital yesterday..."
"James, the baby's still alive!"
"What?!?"
"The baby's still alive! I got Marvin to check for me!"
"Woohoo!"
"Now, go back to sleep."
"Can't..."
"Why not?"
"I'm too wide awake now..."
/\/\/
A/n; Well, that's the end. I hope you liked the last chapter... I had another two ideas while I was doing this one, so look out for either a story about the Werewolves' Magic Institute OR yet another `Sirius gets his name cleared` fic; only that one's going to have my personal touches... where else do you get Remus on all fours with pointy ears and a human body?
Hope you liked the story, though, and I hope that you all bother to read the next ones... I may go through a serious patch, but there are always some funny bits...
REVIEW PLEASE... I HONESTLY AM INSECURE ABOUT MY WORK!
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