(A/N): If you were wondering, the PG-13 rating is for language. This IS Tasuki. There may be some mildly suggestive themes, eventually, but nothing worse than what you see in FY yourself (probably nothing that bad, either.
(Also, people will be SDing in this fic. It's half-humor, after all. They can't do it at will to hide or somethin', though... Well, MOST of them can't... ;) )
Hatashenai
~ A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
"...CAN DEFEND HERSELF AGAINST A WOLF!!"
The room fell silent as Huan-Lang and Rasconza locked eyes. Their leader scarcely called himself Tasuki anymore, and when he did, he was SERIOUS. They'd never known the Boss to fight a woman before, either.
Huan-Lang's eyes were deadly, glaring at the woman who called herself "Tigress". She stood there, steadfast, not moving an inch as she stared back at the flaming warrior.
Then a strange sound filled the room. It was very quiet and melodious; You had to strain your ears to be sure you weren't just imagining it. It sounded somewhat like a tiny windchime, jingling prettily on spring evening. Not that that particular thought occurred to any of the bandits, as they were all dunderheads.
*WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!*
Several of the bandits, including Knei-Gong, facefaulted when they realized it was the sound of the woman who looked for all the worlds like the champion of the AFCWF* _LAUGHING_.
*Ancient Fictional China Wrestling Federation, of course!
Huan-Lang kept his hell-demon stance, an expression on his face that would tear many people to shreds just by staring into his eyes.
"That was a LOUSY analogy," Rasconza declared between chuckles.
oO;; Huan-Lang Super-Deformed. "Wh-what?!"
*Clang! Clatta clatta clang!*
Rasconza unbuckled her belts and they fell to the floor, knives and all.
SD Huan-Lang looked at Rasconza. Then he looked at the knives. Then he looked back at Rasconza, who had assumed a stance.
"WHAT TH' HELL'RE YOU DOIN'?!"
She shrugged. "You're fighting me unarmed, right?"
"..." Huan-Lang went back to normal. The blade-thrower shrugged again.
"'S only fair, ne?" A low growl escaped the Fire Wolf's throat.
"Grr..." 'Dammit... I'll have to go easy on the little ****. She IS a girl after all..."
As they both leapt into the air, fists extended, Huan-Lang swallowed as Rasconza shot toward him. He had a baaaaaaaad feeling he had underestimated her.
'Great, Tas. You're in INCREDIBLE shit this time...'
*Pow!* *WHAM!!*
*THUD!*
"URK!"
The outcome of the flying leap attack had not been good for Huan-Lang. Having waited until much too late to realize the strength of his opponent, the result being that Rasconza The Tigress took a light blow and continued her gentle descent, while The Phantom Wolf took a gut-buster and "flew" to the ground about as gently and gracefully as a two-ton rock.
Rasconza: 1 Tasuki: 0
'Damn... She's good... For a girl...' Huan-Lang thought bitterly as he struggled to stand up. He glared at the ever-emotionless Rasconza and leveled a finger at her.
"All right, bitch: No more games!!"
With a warshout, Huan-Lang charged toward Rasconza. Shocked at the ferocity of the attack, she ducked just in time.
*SHH...*
She slid between Huan-Lang's legs, leapt up behind him, and clasped both hands together. She swung them together like a hammer.
"HWAAAAAA!!"
*WHAM!!*
They slammed into Huan-Lang's unprotected back before he could tell what was happening. His eyes bugged out and his body slumped, but he didn't hit the ground. He grit his teeth together and winced for a split-second before falling into action.
"YAAA!!"
He swung a ferocious right-hook at Rasconza as he spun around. She ducked quickly, right into the uppercut Tasuki had prepared for her chin with his left hand.
"ARRR!!" 'Don't scream like a girl, at least,' Huan-Lang thought to himself with a grin as Rasconza stumbled back several paces, clutching at her jaw. Even if he WAS fighting a girl, he was oddly enough starting to feel like the Tasuki of old again.
Tasuki charged again as Rasconza tried to hoist herself back up on her feet with one arm. Tasuki was about to drive at her, but she kicked up almost vertically, almost getting him in the chin this time, but with inhuman speed, Tasuki grabbed her ankle and held her leg still. He gave a dangerous fanged grin at her as she stared at him for a split second, then spat blood and a tooth in his face.
"Arrg!" Huan-Lang let go instinctively and wiped the blood out of his eyes, regaining visibility just in time to see Rasconza coming toward him, her left hand in a semi-fist, with the index and middle fingers poised to strike at him, almost like a claw. The blow landed about where his right arm met his torso. He felt an incredible surge of pain for a moment, and then his whole arm went numb.
"Shit, a pressure point," he mumbled under his breath, his arm hanging limply at his side. He grimaced. He was going to WIN this thing, dammit!
As Rasconza charged, Tasuki darted backward, then forward again before Rasconza knew what the hell was going on. As he rushed toward her, he felt that feeling of ecstasy rush through him again. He whooped, then shouted his battle-cry once again:
"LEKKA, SHIIIIIIIIIIEEEEN!!"
*POW!!*
The mach-flying kick to her stomach almost knocked her senseless. She gasped frantically for air.
"AN' AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"
*WHAM!!*
The left-hook DID knock her senseless. She literally went sailing through the air upon impact. Bandits dodged out of her path until...
*SMASH!!*
Tasuki stood steadfast, breathing heavily as he watched the woman go flying into the wall. He wiped a mixture of her blood as well as his own from his face as he savored his evident victory.
Then the horror of reality struck him.
Rasconza seemed to freeze on the wall for a moment. Then slowly, she slid to the floor, coming to a rest on her side. Her body was twisted into a sickening, unnatural shape. Her eyes were wide open, and completely white, and red, once the blood slowly trickled down from her forehead. If she was breathing at all, it was barely. Her arm twitched once, then fell limp at her side, stark contrast to the other, twisted and raised above her head.
Tasuki's eyes widened is horror. He'd gone too far. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping that when he opened them again, the ghastly scene would disappear.
"Dammit," he swore he slumped to the floor, his own wounds forgotten. He didn't even know the person, but he found himself crying for her.
He sat slumped on hands and knees, tears and blood occasionally falling on the back of his good hand, his other still hanging at his side. "Stupid... STUPID..." He hissed at himself. No matter how strong her body was, or how strong her will was, she was still a woman. And still a regular human being. She didn't have his power...
He looked again forlornly at Rasconza The Tigress. Hell, she might as well have been Rasconza The Cherry Blossom for all of his strength, he thought bitterly. Her sandy blond hair was now tinted crimson.
He whipped his head away, finding himself staring at the pile of knives that were alive like Rasconza a moment ago, but now as dead and as cold as she was. He stifled a wail. Yes, he was an asshole. Stupid The mother@&@*ing nerve of him... Killing someone who meant him no #@^!ing harm at all... Dammit... DAMMIT...
The ashen faces of all of his comrades were staring at him. The tears welled up. What what they think? What would Chichiri think? What would Miaka think?
'She'd cry...'
Tasuki lifted his head toward the sky, roaring his lament and his curse to the heavens. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!"
And then Huan-Lang The Phantom Wolf fell into blackness.
(A/N: And you thought this was a comedy! It IS, or will be, or whatever, but a bit of drama doesn't hurt. Sorry about that.)
(Also, people will be SDing in this fic. It's half-humor, after all. They can't do it at will to hide or somethin', though... Well, MOST of them can't... ;) )
Hatashenai
~ A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
"...CAN DEFEND HERSELF AGAINST A WOLF!!"
The room fell silent as Huan-Lang and Rasconza locked eyes. Their leader scarcely called himself Tasuki anymore, and when he did, he was SERIOUS. They'd never known the Boss to fight a woman before, either.
Huan-Lang's eyes were deadly, glaring at the woman who called herself "Tigress". She stood there, steadfast, not moving an inch as she stared back at the flaming warrior.
Then a strange sound filled the room. It was very quiet and melodious; You had to strain your ears to be sure you weren't just imagining it. It sounded somewhat like a tiny windchime, jingling prettily on spring evening. Not that that particular thought occurred to any of the bandits, as they were all dunderheads.
*WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!*
Several of the bandits, including Knei-Gong, facefaulted when they realized it was the sound of the woman who looked for all the worlds like the champion of the AFCWF* _LAUGHING_.
*Ancient Fictional China Wrestling Federation, of course!
Huan-Lang kept his hell-demon stance, an expression on his face that would tear many people to shreds just by staring into his eyes.
"That was a LOUSY analogy," Rasconza declared between chuckles.
oO;; Huan-Lang Super-Deformed. "Wh-what?!"
*Clang! Clatta clatta clang!*
Rasconza unbuckled her belts and they fell to the floor, knives and all.
SD Huan-Lang looked at Rasconza. Then he looked at the knives. Then he looked back at Rasconza, who had assumed a stance.
"WHAT TH' HELL'RE YOU DOIN'?!"
She shrugged. "You're fighting me unarmed, right?"
"..." Huan-Lang went back to normal. The blade-thrower shrugged again.
"'S only fair, ne?" A low growl escaped the Fire Wolf's throat.
"Grr..." 'Dammit... I'll have to go easy on the little ****. She IS a girl after all..."
As they both leapt into the air, fists extended, Huan-Lang swallowed as Rasconza shot toward him. He had a baaaaaaaad feeling he had underestimated her.
'Great, Tas. You're in INCREDIBLE shit this time...'
*Pow!* *WHAM!!*
*THUD!*
"URK!"
The outcome of the flying leap attack had not been good for Huan-Lang. Having waited until much too late to realize the strength of his opponent, the result being that Rasconza The Tigress took a light blow and continued her gentle descent, while The Phantom Wolf took a gut-buster and "flew" to the ground about as gently and gracefully as a two-ton rock.
Rasconza: 1 Tasuki: 0
'Damn... She's good... For a girl...' Huan-Lang thought bitterly as he struggled to stand up. He glared at the ever-emotionless Rasconza and leveled a finger at her.
"All right, bitch: No more games!!"
With a warshout, Huan-Lang charged toward Rasconza. Shocked at the ferocity of the attack, she ducked just in time.
*SHH...*
She slid between Huan-Lang's legs, leapt up behind him, and clasped both hands together. She swung them together like a hammer.
"HWAAAAAA!!"
*WHAM!!*
They slammed into Huan-Lang's unprotected back before he could tell what was happening. His eyes bugged out and his body slumped, but he didn't hit the ground. He grit his teeth together and winced for a split-second before falling into action.
"YAAA!!"
He swung a ferocious right-hook at Rasconza as he spun around. She ducked quickly, right into the uppercut Tasuki had prepared for her chin with his left hand.
"ARRR!!" 'Don't scream like a girl, at least,' Huan-Lang thought to himself with a grin as Rasconza stumbled back several paces, clutching at her jaw. Even if he WAS fighting a girl, he was oddly enough starting to feel like the Tasuki of old again.
Tasuki charged again as Rasconza tried to hoist herself back up on her feet with one arm. Tasuki was about to drive at her, but she kicked up almost vertically, almost getting him in the chin this time, but with inhuman speed, Tasuki grabbed her ankle and held her leg still. He gave a dangerous fanged grin at her as she stared at him for a split second, then spat blood and a tooth in his face.
"Arrg!" Huan-Lang let go instinctively and wiped the blood out of his eyes, regaining visibility just in time to see Rasconza coming toward him, her left hand in a semi-fist, with the index and middle fingers poised to strike at him, almost like a claw. The blow landed about where his right arm met his torso. He felt an incredible surge of pain for a moment, and then his whole arm went numb.
"Shit, a pressure point," he mumbled under his breath, his arm hanging limply at his side. He grimaced. He was going to WIN this thing, dammit!
As Rasconza charged, Tasuki darted backward, then forward again before Rasconza knew what the hell was going on. As he rushed toward her, he felt that feeling of ecstasy rush through him again. He whooped, then shouted his battle-cry once again:
"LEKKA, SHIIIIIIIIIIEEEEN!!"
*POW!!*
The mach-flying kick to her stomach almost knocked her senseless. She gasped frantically for air.
"AN' AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"
*WHAM!!*
The left-hook DID knock her senseless. She literally went sailing through the air upon impact. Bandits dodged out of her path until...
*SMASH!!*
Tasuki stood steadfast, breathing heavily as he watched the woman go flying into the wall. He wiped a mixture of her blood as well as his own from his face as he savored his evident victory.
Then the horror of reality struck him.
Rasconza seemed to freeze on the wall for a moment. Then slowly, she slid to the floor, coming to a rest on her side. Her body was twisted into a sickening, unnatural shape. Her eyes were wide open, and completely white, and red, once the blood slowly trickled down from her forehead. If she was breathing at all, it was barely. Her arm twitched once, then fell limp at her side, stark contrast to the other, twisted and raised above her head.
Tasuki's eyes widened is horror. He'd gone too far. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping that when he opened them again, the ghastly scene would disappear.
"Dammit," he swore he slumped to the floor, his own wounds forgotten. He didn't even know the person, but he found himself crying for her.
He sat slumped on hands and knees, tears and blood occasionally falling on the back of his good hand, his other still hanging at his side. "Stupid... STUPID..." He hissed at himself. No matter how strong her body was, or how strong her will was, she was still a woman. And still a regular human being. She didn't have his power...
He looked again forlornly at Rasconza The Tigress. Hell, she might as well have been Rasconza The Cherry Blossom for all of his strength, he thought bitterly. Her sandy blond hair was now tinted crimson.
He whipped his head away, finding himself staring at the pile of knives that were alive like Rasconza a moment ago, but now as dead and as cold as she was. He stifled a wail. Yes, he was an asshole. Stupid The mother@&@*ing nerve of him... Killing someone who meant him no #@^!ing harm at all... Dammit... DAMMIT...
The ashen faces of all of his comrades were staring at him. The tears welled up. What what they think? What would Chichiri think? What would Miaka think?
'She'd cry...'
Tasuki lifted his head toward the sky, roaring his lament and his curse to the heavens. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!"
And then Huan-Lang The Phantom Wolf fell into blackness.
(A/N: And you thought this was a comedy! It IS, or will be, or whatever, but a bit of drama doesn't hurt. Sorry about that.)