((A/N: *is bandaging Tasuki's head from a brick-inflicted wound* Hey! We're on to the fourth chapter! There's going to be a joke that you may not get, so I wanted to teach you two Japanese words ahead of time (though you otaku's probably alread know 'em): Chichi and Otousan. They both mean father. Oh, a kitsune is a kind of fox-sprite. Also, I'd like to congratulate lalaoyoy for correctly guessing where I got Rasconza's name from. Rasconza is a male fox-corsair in the Redwall book "The Pearls Of Lutra,". The only consistency between Mr. Jaques' Rasconza nad mine is that they're both blade-throwers. Congrats, lalaoyoy! *gives her/him 20 brownie points* That's all -hold still, you pyro!!))
Hatashenai
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
"DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Said a voice coming from the corner of the room. It was a monk, complete with staff and kesa, with a funny kitsune-like face and blue, not to mention anti-gravity, hair. He was grinning like a madmonk.
"Hu-Huan-Lang," stammered Rasconza as she grabbed at his sleeve. "What IS that?!"
The monk frowned. "Was THAT very nice no da?"
Huan-Lang stared at the monk blankly. "Ch-Chichiri," he stated, pulling his sleeve free.
"Da?"
"CHICHIRI!!! IT'S BEEN YEARS!!"
*TRALALA!* * TRALALA!!*
Huan-Lang and "Chichiri" spun about doe-see-doe style.
-,-; said Rasconza.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*SNOOP SNOOP!* *SNOOP SNOOP!*
Knei-Gong, Hsing-Chu, Fa-Song, and the three other bandits with their ears to the door sighed, while the twenty-or-so behind them listened on intently.
Knei-Gong stood up. "That was supposed to be OUR dance, Huan-Lang," he whimpered to himself before addressing the crowd. "OK, show's over folks! Let's git our asses outta'- ACK!!"
*CLUNK!*
"Goin' somewhere, Knei-Gong?" Huan-Lang raised an eyebrow, his fist still poised where Knei-Gong's head had been a moment before. Behind him was that weird monk many of the bandits remembered, Otousanny or something, with a happy look on his face and Rasconza's left arm slung around his shoulders. Her other arm was pressed firmly on Tasuki's forearm, supporting her as she leaned forward and looked wryly over his shoulder at the bandits.
"Yeah, I was wondrin' that m'self..."
"Uh, gee," muttered Knei-Gong as he brushed imaginary dust from his tunic. "We were just, ah, well, you know... WOW! Look at the time!!" He exclaimed, staring at an imaginary watch that hadn't been invented yet on his wrist. "I gotta' get goin!! Bya!!"
*WHUMP!!*
Knei-Gong grinned stupidly up from his current position on the floor at Huan-Lang, who was standing on the edge of his cloak. "Ok boys, I dunno WHAT th' hell what you were hopin' ta hear, but th' partie's over." The bandits looked at The Boss like he was a total moron (which I, for one, am NOT denying). He growled. "I don't LIKE girls!! Now..." Tasuki looked at his bandits with a menacing look on his face. "SCOOCH! Chichiri's gonna' change Roscanza's bandages! So MOVE. YER. ASSES!!."
*WHOOSH!!*
Little blurs of what were probably bandits sailed down the hall and far, far away...
Tasuki gave a little fanged grin. "Heh, stupid sonssabitches. I'm gonna' go 'n' eat. You get yerself fixed up, woman, an' maybe you an' Chich ken join us." 'Ar, why the hell am I bein' so nice?!' Tasuki asked himself mentally. *Because you nearly killed her, asshole?* 'Oh yeah...'
"OK, let's clean you up no da!" Rasconza would not normally have so readily let some guy she hardly knew change her bandages, but she felt oddly at ease with this person, like he was her brother or something. Then again, her brother was a psychopath... In fact, this was a spell being cast by Chichiri so that he wouldn't have a hard time, because SOMEBODY had to change those bandages, or else Rasconza was going to get an infection.
*However, we all know Chichiri isn't a hentai. He's just trying to do what's best. So get yer minds outta' the gutter! *
"Yikes, these wounds are pretty bad no da!! You should've gotten them treated sooner no da!" He exclaimed as he redid the bandage around her chest and cleaned the wound. "Don't mind Tasuki no da. He's a bit... Wild no da..."
'Tasuki? Oh yeah, that was his seishi name...' "Hey, how d'ya know Huan-Lang?" Rasconza asked curiously. "Well, I guess he's th' Boss now, but..."
Chichiri grinned. "Because Tasuki and I share a history no da!" He tore at his pant-leg to reveal...
"O.O THE MARK OF THE WELL!" Rasconza exclaimed. "You're a SUZAKU NO SEISHI!!" Chichiri smiled and flashed the victory sign. "No da!"
Chichiri then first noticed her scar. "How did you get that?" He asked softly. Rasconza adverted her gaze. She mumbled something under her breath. Chichiri removed his mask and smiled softly.
"I got this a long time ago. When I was eighteen, I was known as Ri-Houjin, and I was the happiest man alive." Chichiri smiled forlornly, overcome by a wave of nogalistia. "I was engaged to be married to the woman I loved more than life itself, and I had a best friend that was always right behind me in everything I did..." His good eye began to tear up. Rasconza actually looked concerned.
"But one day... I found them..." Rasconza prepared herself for the worst. "...kissing."
*WUMP!*
"OW!"
"Never facefault in this condition," she growled to herself. "That's IT?! KISSING?!!" Chichiri gave her a deathglare.
"Who's telling this story: You or me no da?!" Rasconza sighed in resignation and crawled back up on the bed.
"So," Chichiri continued, going back to angsty-bishounen mode. "My best friend and I got into a fight... My fiancé killed herself... And a flood hit the village, wiping out everyone but my best friend and I... We were battling on a cliff... And he slipped... But... I grabbed his hand to save him and... And..." He gestured toward his scar. "A log... Came at my eye... And ripped it out... And I let go... And he...He..." Rasconza patted Chichiri on the back. "I get it; Don't trouble yerself..." Chichiri smiled and put his mask back on.
"Arigatou no da. Now, will you tell me how you got your scar no da?" He asked pleasantly as he finished with the last bandage. Rasconza winced. "Uh, well..." Chichiri grinned. "I won't tell anybody." Rasconza sighed heavily. "OK, but yew asked fer it..."
"When I was seven, my brother Karasuki and I were eatin' a meal... An Mom served up the last piece o' cake and we both wanted it and we got into a fight..."
*sweatdrop*
Rasconza pointed at her scar and said two simple words: "Fork wound."
*WHUMP!!*
Chichiri picked himself up off the floor. "O-OK no da!! W-Well, I'm going to go eat no da!! Those wounds'll heal pretty quickly, now that they've been bandaged properly na no da!! You should be able to leave bed tomorrow no da! Farewell!" Chichiri grabbed his kasa, thought better of it, and actually just used the door for once.
Rasconza sighed. "Well, whatever..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the dining hall, there was a lot of excitement, now that the Boss was back in action. He sat in his place at the head of the table, Chichiri to his left and Knei-Gong to his right. While the bandits slopped down their food, Huan-Lang debated how to make his announcement. He eventually decided on his usual method:
I said so. Deal with it.
"OK, BOYS, LISTEN UP!!! That Rasconza lady..."
Everybody held their breaths.
"She's one of us now!! So listen good!! My ol' pal Chichiri here..."
"DA!"
*sweatdrop*
"... says that even though you shitheads did a half-ass job on her bandages, she should be able to walk around t'morrow!! I don't need t' tell you she's a girl, so be nice, right?!"
"Yer right: Ya don't."
Rasconza stood in the doorway to the dining hall, slightly slumping against it for support, arms crossed and head cocked. "I ken handle myself, fella's. You don't have t' pretend to be a bunch of ultra-nice shitheads just because I'm girl, GOT IT?!"
Oo;;
Many of the bandits figured maybe it would be a good idea to do so anyway, just for the sake of having all of their body parts when they woke up the next morning.
Rasconza grabbed one of her knives and flung it at the table. It landed quivering right in front of Huan-Lang's right hand.
OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
"YEEEEHAAAAAAAW!! RASCONZA THE TIGRESS IS BACK. IN. ACTION!!!"
(A/N: I wanted to say something about the "pressure point" thing back in chapter 2: There IS a pressure point there. It's hard to find, though I wouldn't recommend trying to find it. I swear to God that my arm _DID_ still hurt five days later. (and I hit the pressure point MYSELF )
Hatashenai
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
"DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Said a voice coming from the corner of the room. It was a monk, complete with staff and kesa, with a funny kitsune-like face and blue, not to mention anti-gravity, hair. He was grinning like a madmonk.
"Hu-Huan-Lang," stammered Rasconza as she grabbed at his sleeve. "What IS that?!"
The monk frowned. "Was THAT very nice no da?"
Huan-Lang stared at the monk blankly. "Ch-Chichiri," he stated, pulling his sleeve free.
"Da?"
"CHICHIRI!!! IT'S BEEN YEARS!!"
*TRALALA!* * TRALALA!!*
Huan-Lang and "Chichiri" spun about doe-see-doe style.
-,-; said Rasconza.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*SNOOP SNOOP!* *SNOOP SNOOP!*
Knei-Gong, Hsing-Chu, Fa-Song, and the three other bandits with their ears to the door sighed, while the twenty-or-so behind them listened on intently.
Knei-Gong stood up. "That was supposed to be OUR dance, Huan-Lang," he whimpered to himself before addressing the crowd. "OK, show's over folks! Let's git our asses outta'- ACK!!"
*CLUNK!*
"Goin' somewhere, Knei-Gong?" Huan-Lang raised an eyebrow, his fist still poised where Knei-Gong's head had been a moment before. Behind him was that weird monk many of the bandits remembered, Otousanny or something, with a happy look on his face and Rasconza's left arm slung around his shoulders. Her other arm was pressed firmly on Tasuki's forearm, supporting her as she leaned forward and looked wryly over his shoulder at the bandits.
"Yeah, I was wondrin' that m'self..."
"Uh, gee," muttered Knei-Gong as he brushed imaginary dust from his tunic. "We were just, ah, well, you know... WOW! Look at the time!!" He exclaimed, staring at an imaginary watch that hadn't been invented yet on his wrist. "I gotta' get goin!! Bya!!"
*WHUMP!!*
Knei-Gong grinned stupidly up from his current position on the floor at Huan-Lang, who was standing on the edge of his cloak. "Ok boys, I dunno WHAT th' hell what you were hopin' ta hear, but th' partie's over." The bandits looked at The Boss like he was a total moron (which I, for one, am NOT denying). He growled. "I don't LIKE girls!! Now..." Tasuki looked at his bandits with a menacing look on his face. "SCOOCH! Chichiri's gonna' change Roscanza's bandages! So MOVE. YER. ASSES!!."
*WHOOSH!!*
Little blurs of what were probably bandits sailed down the hall and far, far away...
Tasuki gave a little fanged grin. "Heh, stupid sonssabitches. I'm gonna' go 'n' eat. You get yerself fixed up, woman, an' maybe you an' Chich ken join us." 'Ar, why the hell am I bein' so nice?!' Tasuki asked himself mentally. *Because you nearly killed her, asshole?* 'Oh yeah...'
"OK, let's clean you up no da!" Rasconza would not normally have so readily let some guy she hardly knew change her bandages, but she felt oddly at ease with this person, like he was her brother or something. Then again, her brother was a psychopath... In fact, this was a spell being cast by Chichiri so that he wouldn't have a hard time, because SOMEBODY had to change those bandages, or else Rasconza was going to get an infection.
*However, we all know Chichiri isn't a hentai. He's just trying to do what's best. So get yer minds outta' the gutter! *
"Yikes, these wounds are pretty bad no da!! You should've gotten them treated sooner no da!" He exclaimed as he redid the bandage around her chest and cleaned the wound. "Don't mind Tasuki no da. He's a bit... Wild no da..."
'Tasuki? Oh yeah, that was his seishi name...' "Hey, how d'ya know Huan-Lang?" Rasconza asked curiously. "Well, I guess he's th' Boss now, but..."
Chichiri grinned. "Because Tasuki and I share a history no da!" He tore at his pant-leg to reveal...
"O.O THE MARK OF THE WELL!" Rasconza exclaimed. "You're a SUZAKU NO SEISHI!!" Chichiri smiled and flashed the victory sign. "No da!"
Chichiri then first noticed her scar. "How did you get that?" He asked softly. Rasconza adverted her gaze. She mumbled something under her breath. Chichiri removed his mask and smiled softly.
"I got this a long time ago. When I was eighteen, I was known as Ri-Houjin, and I was the happiest man alive." Chichiri smiled forlornly, overcome by a wave of nogalistia. "I was engaged to be married to the woman I loved more than life itself, and I had a best friend that was always right behind me in everything I did..." His good eye began to tear up. Rasconza actually looked concerned.
"But one day... I found them..." Rasconza prepared herself for the worst. "...kissing."
*WUMP!*
"OW!"
"Never facefault in this condition," she growled to herself. "That's IT?! KISSING?!!" Chichiri gave her a deathglare.
"Who's telling this story: You or me no da?!" Rasconza sighed in resignation and crawled back up on the bed.
"So," Chichiri continued, going back to angsty-bishounen mode. "My best friend and I got into a fight... My fiancé killed herself... And a flood hit the village, wiping out everyone but my best friend and I... We were battling on a cliff... And he slipped... But... I grabbed his hand to save him and... And..." He gestured toward his scar. "A log... Came at my eye... And ripped it out... And I let go... And he...He..." Rasconza patted Chichiri on the back. "I get it; Don't trouble yerself..." Chichiri smiled and put his mask back on.
"Arigatou no da. Now, will you tell me how you got your scar no da?" He asked pleasantly as he finished with the last bandage. Rasconza winced. "Uh, well..." Chichiri grinned. "I won't tell anybody." Rasconza sighed heavily. "OK, but yew asked fer it..."
"When I was seven, my brother Karasuki and I were eatin' a meal... An Mom served up the last piece o' cake and we both wanted it and we got into a fight..."
*sweatdrop*
Rasconza pointed at her scar and said two simple words: "Fork wound."
*WHUMP!!*
Chichiri picked himself up off the floor. "O-OK no da!! W-Well, I'm going to go eat no da!! Those wounds'll heal pretty quickly, now that they've been bandaged properly na no da!! You should be able to leave bed tomorrow no da! Farewell!" Chichiri grabbed his kasa, thought better of it, and actually just used the door for once.
Rasconza sighed. "Well, whatever..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the dining hall, there was a lot of excitement, now that the Boss was back in action. He sat in his place at the head of the table, Chichiri to his left and Knei-Gong to his right. While the bandits slopped down their food, Huan-Lang debated how to make his announcement. He eventually decided on his usual method:
I said so. Deal with it.
"OK, BOYS, LISTEN UP!!! That Rasconza lady..."
Everybody held their breaths.
"She's one of us now!! So listen good!! My ol' pal Chichiri here..."
"DA!"
*sweatdrop*
"... says that even though you shitheads did a half-ass job on her bandages, she should be able to walk around t'morrow!! I don't need t' tell you she's a girl, so be nice, right?!"
"Yer right: Ya don't."
Rasconza stood in the doorway to the dining hall, slightly slumping against it for support, arms crossed and head cocked. "I ken handle myself, fella's. You don't have t' pretend to be a bunch of ultra-nice shitheads just because I'm girl, GOT IT?!"
Oo;;
Many of the bandits figured maybe it would be a good idea to do so anyway, just for the sake of having all of their body parts when they woke up the next morning.
Rasconza grabbed one of her knives and flung it at the table. It landed quivering right in front of Huan-Lang's right hand.
OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
"YEEEEHAAAAAAAW!! RASCONZA THE TIGRESS IS BACK. IN. ACTION!!!"
(A/N: I wanted to say something about the "pressure point" thing back in chapter 2: There IS a pressure point there. It's hard to find, though I wouldn't recommend trying to find it. I swear to God that my arm _DID_ still hurt five days later. (and I hit the pressure point MYSELF )