Notes & Rambles: Okay, so guys really do hate the story. No feedback? Hm, I think I'll just stop writing this. Or just posting to the web at all. So send feedback, please? I'm just a fourteen year old with a huge vocab, and low self-esteem. Pitiful isn't it? So start writing! Good or bad, I don't care. I don't hear my AOL inbox going 'You've Got Mail!'. ::sigh:: I miss the voice.
I'm picturing TAM in the role of Kay. Gina just *irks* me. Besides, the character Kay doesn't seem as loveable as Taylor portrayed it to be. More ''I'm a B*tch'' esque than need be. Oh well, I just PRAY that TAM does come back. We need the *real* Kay. Please?????? This chapter, will raise some racial issues. I'm African American and I just felt that I had to write this. I don't know why, but I just had been hit with this. Even though I probably mucked the whole idea, I just felt that I needed to at least address the issue since no other soaps have. It's a touchy subject, I can't blame the networks, but still.....
If you feel uncomfortable, I don't blame if you do, it's okay to skip the part. It's a flashback and is not that much of importance to the overall story. Well, I think so anyway.
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Durke's - Living Room
When : 8:21 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
Taking a deep breath, she started the inevitable. ''Reese, I have to tell you something. And I think you should sit down because, it's gonna be long.''
Kay studied the room around her, taking in every detail. It was tastefully decorated, color blossomed everywhere. It was definitely had a mother's touch more than a male's. The couch looked comfortable, but modern in it's egg white shade. The recliner that Reese was sitting in, matched the coach, but it was the only furniture that actually matched the whole room. The carpet was a berry red, the coffee table glass and the vase was filled with bright lilies, fuschicas, and daisies. Hard mahogany wood gleamed to perfection where the entertainment center beheld. The living room was painted a shade of dark green, which seemed to be weird to Kay at first, but it fit the room somehow. All in all, the room seemed to come out from a magazine. A very artsy and daring magazine.
Reese watched Kay's appreciation for the room, and began to relax. He always liked this room. It felt alive somehow, and unafraid. Something that he wished that he possesed.
Finishing her appraisal of the room, she stood up, starting to get nervous. 'Might as well, just blurt it all out.' she thought. She figured sadly, that this may be the last time Reese would look up to her as a Goddess. He was going to hate her after this. Everyone was going to hate her, epscially the one guy that counted.
'What more do I have to lose?'
With firm resolve, she finally decided and began. There was no turning back.
Pacing back and forth, she started. ''Reese, I would you appreciate it if you don't say anything until I'm finished. You're really gonna hate after this, so I might as well tell my side of the story, first.''
Reese shaken from the silence, looked at Kay perplexed and started to speak. However, she silenced him by putting her hand up to stop. ''And before you say you could never hate me, I got news for you. Yes, you can.'' she said sarcastically, looking downcast. Reese just clamped his mouth shut, not saying anything, and waited. What else could he do? Whatever she had to say, must be important to come over his house.
''I guess this started ever since Charity came to town. Hell, everything started when Charity came to town. But, you'll understand why I'm the way I am and why this whole thing with you and me together is...'' she paused, trying to think of an appropiate word. Deciding that there isn't one, she continued, '' a bunch of bull- golly faced lies.''
Kay took a peek at Reese trying to gauge his reaction. Suprized that there wasn't one, she told the story.
''For all my life, Miguel had been my world and I figured that I was his. Man, was I disappointed when I found the truth. The day that Charity came was the day I was going to tell Miguel that I was in love with him. Although this had been building up for awhile. More like ever since I was fourteen. Three years is long time to have a crush on someone, but Miguel didn't seem to pick up on the hints. So, I decided that enough was enough, I wanted to tell him tha I wanted to be more than best friends. Then Charity came.''
She paused, feelings coming back to her. The blind jealousy, and anger. More at Miguel and herself, than Charity. If she only told him sooner and if Miguel wasn't so blind to see. Maybe they would have had a chance. Shaking her head, she started again, this time not stopping.
''Everything changed. I thought that Charity was just a fling. I mean we did date other people before and nothing came serious out of it. But then, he spent every waking minute of time with her. Soon, Miguel didn't come to my house just to see if I was all right. It was Charity, Charity, Charity. Soon, the whole TOWN was thnking about Charity. My family, friends, and anyone who knew me seemed to ask 'How is Charity. Is she okay?' And I know that she lost her mother. I know that she doesn't remember anything about her life. What I don't know is why everything seemed to revovle around *her* all of the sudden, and no one questioned my feelings about anything. How I felt about Charity taking my room, my car money, and most of my life.''
''So I did what I could to ruin Charity. To show that she isn't that little angel that everyone believes. That she was actually human! I tried everything possible. Most of the rotten things that have happened to Charity, was because of me. I'm not proud of what I did, but I felt so jealous of her. She had everything that I wanted and the crazy side of things was that she was nice to me! If she hated my guts, everything would be so much easier. What really hurt me though, was Miguel. I was his best friend; I helped HIM when his world was falling apart! And he abandoned me for her. Everything we did was gone because of her. But I still had this hope that someday we would be together. You can't discount sixteen years of friendship because of a girl, can you?''
''Reese, the way you play into this is that you were just a pawn. The only connection I had with Miguel was you. You were his other best friend. I originally thought I could make him jealous by going with you, but it backfired in my face. Jessica started this whole thing about me liking you and it wasn't true. You just seemed glad and oblivious about it all, so I just continued it. I felt really wrong, one of the few times I did, about doing that to you. I never intentionally meant to hurt you, and that's why I needed to tell you this. I've decided to just move on and forget about Miguel,'' she felt the tears rising in her throat, threatening to release, ''He chose who he wanted to be with. And in order to do that, I needed to come clean. With you especially. We were friends and I knew that you deserved an explanation.''
Reese was digesting this all in, not daring to look up at Kay. Everything was making so much sense to him. The way Kay seemed to change, and acted around everyone, mostly Miguel. How she cast glances in Miguel's direction with a hopeful look on her face that mirrored his. The way she was so suprized when she found who she really was kissing. He was so deep into thought, he didn't seem to hear Kay's final question.
''Reese, would you say something? Um, I can understand if you want me to leave.'' Kay asked nervously. This wasn't the reaction she was prepared for. All out yelling about her a lying tramp was what she suspected would what he'd say. It would hurt, but hey, she couldn't go any lower couldn't she? Thinking that Reese wouldn't answer, she just did the smartest thing and started to see herself out.
Reese looked up at the sudden movement, and walked up to catch up to her. He couldn't let her leave, not just yet. Using his own hand, he grabbed her's, and stopped her. Staring straight at her, he seemed to be more in control, than he had ever been in his life.
''Kay, this isn't over yet.''
~*~
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Youth Center - Gym
When : 8:29 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
Luis threw the ball into the hoop with an easy swish. The score was 15 to 11 in favor of Luis. He smiled at his younger brother, as he was slightly limping at the double play Luis just pulled only one minute before. Miguel looked a bit mad, because Luis knew he had the height advantage.
Still slightly out of breath, Miguel panted out, ''That.. was low.'' He took a much needed breath as Luis smirked.
''Hey, if you can't handle it, we can just quit right now.'' Luis responded.
Miguel shook his head in the negative. ''And give you the satisfaction? No.''
Dribbling the ball around, Miguel who was now breathing at a regular rate, he just nodded his head. ''Well, Miguel, you were the one who started this. As I recall, I remember, 'You probably couldn't even shoot the ball Luis, you're so old,' from your mouth.''
It was time for Miguel to smirk. ''You can't. Not unless you cheat.''
Luis looked at his brother, and stopped dribbling the ball. Holding it as his hip, he poked Miguel in the chest, ''Hey, I don't cheat.''
Miguel just made a face, pointed to a spot below the hoop. ''What did you call that?''
Luis just shrugged, ''I call that being defensive.'' he replied.
Rolling his eyes, Miguel grabbed the ball from Luis, and repeated it again. ''You cheated.'' with more vehemance than neccasary.
Luis looked at Miguel, figuring out what was going with him lately. He had been acting more moody for himself. At first, Luis just brushed it off thinking that he was just having a bad week. But, there was something more to it than that. Softening his face, he looked concerned at Miguel, who was right now shooting, well trying to shoot the ball into the net. Keyword: Trying.
''Miguel, what's wrong with you? You don't seem like yourself lately and you haven't been acting either.'' Luis asked faced with the back of Miguel's head.
Miguel paused in mid-throw, about to make a penalty shot. He didn't think anyone would notice, but at the same time he wished someone did. He was glad that it was Luis. His brother seem to know everything and how to handle it. 'Maybe he could have the answer,' Miguel thought.
Taking the pause as a way of saying no, Luis continued, miffed. ''You know, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to.'' Slowly he walked back to the bench where their bottles of water lay. Miguel hesitated, not knowing where to begin. ''Luis?'' Miguel began, ''there is a problem, and I have no clue how to handle it.''
Luis scruched his eyebrows as he gulped the water. Finished, he capped the bottle and laid it to it's original spot. ''It's Charity isn't it?'' he asked. He just had a feeling it was about a girl.
Nodding his head, Miguel dropped the ball and walked over where Luis was sitting.
''I thought you guys were going good?'' Luis asked confused.
''Yeah, we were for a while. But now, it seemed to be getting strained you know? The real problem is that I'm not sure if I love her. I care for her, and I know she feels the same way; maybe even more.''
Luis was shocked. He knew things between Charity and Miguel was serious, but he never thought *this* serious. He originally thought that they got into a fight or something else less serious.
''Don't get me wrong Luis, I really want to love her like she deserves, but I don't know, something just doesn't feel,'' Miguel paused, ''Complete.''
Luis could understand where he was getting to. ''You don't think that she's the one?'' It was more of a statement than a question.
Miguel wanted to say yes, but something was still nagging in the back of his mind.
''No.''
~*~
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Harmony Park - The Duck Pond
When : 8:41 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
Simone waited while watching the ducks talk to each other in a language only they could understand. They seemed so peaceful, unhibited by problems that humans had to face day after day. She remebered once when Kay and her used to chase the ducks. They were five years old, and it was one of the fondest memories that she had of Kay. The day that she first met her, was one she would remember for always.
It was her first day in Harmony Day Care. For the past few days, she had been very excited about making new friends. Her older sister, Whitney, was already in Kindergarten in Harmony Elementary and she always brought home stories of her day. She talked about what the other kids did that day and the picture she drew in art class. Slightly jealous that she got to go to school, while she stayed at some baby sitters, not doing anything as exciting as she did. The baby-sitter was nice enough, but she smellled like old, rotten, candy and all she did was watch TV. There was nothing exciting to go home to tell her family.
She bugged her parents day after day to send her to school. Each time they said she was too young to go to Whitney's school. Each day, she prayed and hoped that she would be able to go to school, make new friends, and learn stuff so she could impress her parents. She already felt like an outsider since her parents spend so much time with Whitney than they did with her. Especially their father, who was trying to teach Whitney how to play tennis.
It sort of hurt, but she knew that if she went to school and learned all this new stuff, that maybe, just maybe they will pay more attention to her rather than her big sister. That filled her with more determination. She didn't eat, talk, or do anything for a whole week, until her parents gave in to her demands. She could be very persuasive when need be. They found a nusery school that could accept her at such a late start. The Harmony Daycare seemed the best choice. It was more of a pre-schooling program than a daycare, which was what she had wanted.
When her parents finally told her that she was going to school, she was so happy! This was her chance. She could make friends and make her parents be proud of her at the same time. She lived a shelterd life before, not really hanging out with the kids in the neighborhood. Everday from then on, she packed and repacked her bag making sure that there was nothing missing. Instead of watching tv, she tried to read. It wasn't a small feat for a four year old trying to read a book when she didn't even learn the alphabet, but somehow she managed. Then the day finally came.
It was time for her first day at school. Gripping her mother's hand, scared if she let go, she slowly looked at the other kids in the room. Everyone else looked like they already had friends. Suddenly, she was nervous. 'What if they don't like me?' she thought unhappily. It was intmidating really, being new and all.
The lady who looked like the teacher, smiled a wide, but fake smile at her. The eyes where cold as ice, as if already hating her just for being there.Turning behind her mother's legs, she tried to hid from view, trying in vain to block her view of her new teacher. She didn't like her already.
Eve looked behind her, finding that her youngest daughter was trying to hide. Exasperated, she pulled her in front of her and kneeled down. ''Simone, you have been asking your father and I to go to school, just like Whitney. Now, we all ready paid for this, so you can't get any second thoughts now, okay sweetie?'' She flicked off some lint that was on Simone's brand new sweater.
Simone nodded. Looks like she was going to have to steer clear of the teacher-lady. She didn't want to disappoint her mom and dad. So she didn't voice her opinion of the teacher. Maybe she was overtreacting or whatever the grown ups said. Eve smiled at her daughter, and stood up again. ''Good, this is Ms. Stonikey. She's going to be your teacher.'' she pointed at the lady, who Simone didn't like. Glancing at her watch, Eve started to make her exit. ''Okay, Simone, I have to go now. Ms. Stonikey, if you have any problems, just call Harmony General Hospital and page for me.'' With a quick kiss on the cheek, her mother was gone.
The cold, calculated smile that had graced Ms Stonikey's lips, quickly disappeared, with a frowning glance, she looked at Simone head to toe. It looked like the feeling was returned. She already hated Simone. Scrutinizing her, she looked as if she finally made a decision. Simone looked at herself making sure nothing was out of place. Finding nothing wrong, she just shrugged it off. She just wanted to make friends right away. That was one of the purpose of going to daycare.
Clucking her tongue, the teacher began her practiced speech. ''Simone, since you are new here, I want to give you the benifit of the doubt that you aren't a trouble maker like the rest of them. But, that doesn't exclude you from the rules here. You can not leave your seat without my permission, you can not hit or kick anyone, you can not -'' Simone zoned out after a while. She knew what she was and suppose to do, however Ms Stonikey seemed to forget that she had an attention span of a four year, which she was. Her excitment was beginning to wear off, and she was ready to end the talk. Nodding in a robotic-like trance, she agreed to what Ms. Stoinkey was saying. The teacher noticed this, and her disapprovment of Simone grew rapidly. Oblivious to it all, Simone was off, after her lecture was over.
Ms. Stonikey glared at her retreating back, thinking that she would have to keep an extra eye on her. 'Another one of them. Don't they know where they belong?' she thought disgustedly and turned away.
Since it was free time, Simone went directly to the paints, loving to color. There was already a girl painting and she was very good at it too. She had long brown hair that was in two pony tails, big brown eyes, and she was sort of skinny. She had on overalls and paint sumdged her freckled filled face. The face was right now scrunced with determination as she tried to paint inside the lines. The drawing she was so inraptured in was a picture of a house with some people in front, waving.
''That looks nice,'' Simone said timidly. She bit her lip, hoping for a response. And she got one. The long brown haired girl, turned around, and grinned at her. Pride just increased with her stance. You could tell right off that she loved to get compliments.
''Yeah,'' she responded, ''It's a present for my little sister. Do you think she'll like it?'' she asked. Hopeful brown met with Simone's hazel.
Simone could almost leap for joy. The girl liked her! This was too easy.''Yeah!'' she said enthusicatically.
The long brown haired girl, liked Simone already. She had energy and she didn't seem like a bad person either. She was pretty too.
''By the way, my name is Kathleen Elizabeth Bennett. But you can call me Kay. What's yours?'' the long brown haired girl finally said. She smiled at Simone and Simone beamed back.
''Simone Russell. But they call me Simone. I don't have a nick name.'' Simone replied, slightly saddened by it.
Kay immediately sensed that. Trying to cheer her up, she didn't seem the type of person who should be sad, she replied, ''Well, I'll just call you Simmie.''
'Wow! I made a new friend and even a nickname!' Simone thought. Then they began to talk about what they liked and didn't like. What their favorite colors, what boys that they thought were yucky, and of course, Ms. Stonikey.
Simone felt as if she could tell Kay this and she would understand. Gathering up some courage, she finally asked the question that had been plaguing her ever since she walked into the door.
''Kay, does Ms. Stonikey seem weird to you?'' Simone asked.
Kay scrunched up her nose in disgust. It was apparent that she wasn't a big fan of her either. ''You mean, Ms, Stinkey?'' she asked. Simone started to laugh at the nick name Kay thought of. She was sort of glad she was on Kay's good side. She didn't seem like a person to cross.
After her laughter died off, she solemnly nodded her head. Kay shrugged it off. ''I dunno. She always seemed a bit fishy to me. Like she favors some kids over others, ya know? But, she doesn't like me either, Simmie, so don't worry about it.''
''Move it, Bennett.'' a boy with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes said.
Kay just moved into a defensive stance, making sure she stood her ground. ''Till hell freezes over, Durgeson.'' she responded. He just smirked and went on his way. Simone, fancinated and sort of intimidated by the boy, looked at Kay curiously. ''Who is he?''
Kay glared at the back of the boy's head, imagining his head was the dart board, and she had the darts. ''He is Keith Durgeson, the biggest bully in Harmony Daycare.'' She softened her look, and gazed at Simone. ''Simone, whatever you do, stay clear of him. The guy is nothing but trouble.''
Simone could hear the dislike and contempt in her voice. Something told her that she should respect Kay's wishes. ''All right. If you say so. i mean, I am the new kid here.''
Kay wrapped her arm around Simone's neck, hugging her. ''No, you're not the new kid anymore Simone. You're one of us now.''
For the rest of the day, Kay and Simone were inseperable. Well, almost as much as Kay and Miguel were, but he didn't got this daycare unfortunately so Simone and Miguel had to learn about each other through Kay. Everywhere Kay went Simone seemed to follow and vice versa. It was quite amusing. Ms Stonikey, always watched how Simone and Kay interacted with one another and hated it. It showed. All the kids knew that Ms. Stonikey had it in for Simone. But they never expected this.
One day, Simone was waiting for Kay during play time. They always hung out with each other, but today Ms. Stonikey had to talk to Kay about something. It was a ritual not to eat lunch until the both of them were together. Then he showed up. Simone looked frantically around, hoping that he was coming towards someone else. When she saw anyone, she knew she was in trouble.
''Simone, give me your lunch.'' Keith demanded, his frame towering over Simone. She hadn't eaten any breakfast that day, and she was really hungry. 'If Kay can stand up to him, maybe I can too.' she thought. She nodded her head no in repsonse.
Instead of backing off, Keith grabbed her lunch and started to run. Simone, hated to be out done, ran after him. Then what happened next seemed like slow motion. Simone lunged at him, grabbing Keith's legs. Keith fell down and her lunch also, using his hands to break the fall, he accidently kicked Simone in the stomach. Simone feeling a sharp pain, quickly let go, and started to cry.
Ms. Stonikey was lecturing to Kay on the fine art of not making a mess, but keeping a watchful eye on Simone and Keith. Kay was staring longingly outside and saw what happened. Man, was she mad at Keith. While he was laughing and Simone was crying her eyes out. Ms Stonikey didn't show any emotion and slowly walked over to the chaos. Kay, followed her heels, figuring that Simone might need her. When they reached her, Simone tears started to subside and Keith completely stopped laughing. The look on Ms. Stonikey's face was absolute pure hatred and it was directed at Simone.
''Well, young lady, I expected better from you,'' she said snidely. ''Stop your sniveling.'' Ms. Stonikey yelled. She grabbed Simone roughly, and pulled her up from the sitting position.
Simone quivered under her rough touch. Kay, on seeing this, started to go after Ms. Stonikey.
''What's your problem, you big witch!'' Kay said at she pushed Ms. Stonikey away from Simone. Simone just looked shocked that Kay would do that to a teacher, much less Ms. Stonikey.
''Kay, why are you defending her? You know that she's different you and I, and you just saw that she pushed little Keith here down!'' Ms. Stonikey yelled.
Kay just held her ground. No one, including adults, yelled her like that. With the exception, of her family, and people she liked. She didn't like Ms. Stonikey, so she didn't care. ''Simone is not different! She's just like me and she's my best friend.''
Ms. Stonikey laughed a cruel laugh. ''Well, you and your best friend can have a two hour time out. You for pushing me, and her for pushing little Keith. I'm also going to call your parents and tell what you have done.''
That scared Simone. She didn't want her parents to find out about this! What if they got disappointed in her again! But, she was more worried about Kay. She was pouting folding her arms across her chest. Her father was a policeman, what if her arrested her? She was sure to get in big trouble now. Simone stared out the ground, pain still going through her body. 'It's all my fault!' she thought sadly. She looked at Kay longingly hoping she wasn't mad at her.
~*~ Wanna cry for you
~*~ Would it do any good?
~*~ If I rained for you
~*~ It would just be water
Kay was mad. She was so mad she was shaking. Simone was one of the nicest and sweetest person she had ever met! Ms. Stinkey saw that it was all Keith's fault. She didn't care if the witch called her parents. No one messed with Simmie like that, not with her here.
''Kay,'' said Simone timidly, ''Are you mad at me?'' she asked, worried after the long silence.
Kay turned to Simone with a questionable look on her face. ''No, of course not Simmie! It's not your fault Keith stole your lunch and Ms. Stinkey, stinks.'' She came around and gave Simone a hug. ''You're the nicest kid I have ever met Simmie. Besides, I think that no one could ever get mad at you. Especially one of your friends.''
She looked up and smiled at Kay. ''You mean it?'' She needed to ask. She knew Kay meant it, but she just wanted to be sure.
Kay laughed, and for a while Simone was worried that she was kidding. ''Of course I mean it, silly Simmie. We're friends till the end.''
~*~ And the night's with you
~*~ And the storm's in your hand
~*~ And you're down, and you're down
~*~ And I can't lift you
'Friends till the end,' Simone repeated. She smiled slightly, remebering that day. Ms. Stonikey turned out to be racist. They didn't know it at that time since they were so little, but she was. All the signs were there. Simone being the only black kid in the daycare, being friends with someone who was white and didn't care. She never did thank Kay for that day. It was never really brought up again. Even her parents, who were so mad at her that she couldn't watch tv for a week, didn't know what really happened. God knows how many times she thought the day through her head, when she found at the whorld wasn't as picture perfect as she was lead to believe.
~*~ I'm powerless to change your world
~*~ I'm powerless to stop the hurt
It seemed to Simone that Kay always rescued her when she needed to be rescued. The favor was never actually returned. Kay was one of the strongest people she had ever had the pleasure of meeting in her lifetime. The only thing she was jealous about Kay was she was so strong of a person, so unhibitied of what people thought or cared. If she wanted something, she would never stop till she got it.
~*~ But I'll give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ I give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ Over and over
That was also the positive and negative side of Kay. She could be ruthless. But she was her best friend. She didn't mind tagging along wherever she went. Simone was her guardian angel making sure Kay knew what the right thing was, while Kay was the girl who pushed her to the limits. 'Life would never be boring around her,' she thought with a sad laugh.
~*~ Wanna run for you
~*~ Would it do any good?
~*~ If I flew for you
~*~ You would still be standing
But now, it was changing. The girl she knew and loved for all her life, was sick. The worse thing about it, it was mental. This mant that it had been going on for quite sometime. Her own best friend, Kay Bennett was mentally sick and she didn't even tell her! Simone thought they could tell each other anything. So why didn't Kay ever mention this? She could have helped. She wanted to help.
~*~ And it's hard watching
~*~ 'Cause I'm part of you
~*~ And it's hard not to
~*~ Not to know what I can do
That what's friends do for each other. They help when the other one is down. They cry when one of them cries. They laugh went life feels perfect, even for one short minute.
~*~ I'm powerless to change your world
~*~ I'm powerless to stop the hurt
Kay had to be better. She didn't know what she would do if she was gone. 'She has to get better.'
~*~ I'm trying hard to be your tower of strength
~*~ I'm trying hard to bring you back to joy
For all the times Kay had been there for her, she was going to repay. She wasn't going to stop until she got better. Nothing else would matter and everything would be put on hold. For her.
~*~ I'll give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ I give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
Tears started to well up, knowing that she had caused this. Or was part of the cause, actually. She felt neglected, and even though she did some rotten things, Kay doesn't deserve this.
~*~ When the night just cuts you through
~*~ And the dream is lost to you
~*~ When you're worried and confused
~*~ I will
She knows that she could depend on her. Maybe she forgot. Or maybe Simone forgot. Whatever it was, they were going to get to the bottom of this.
~*~ Give you my heart, give you my shoulder
~*~ I give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ Over and over
~*~ Time and again
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ I will
~*~ I give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~ I will
~*~ Time and again
~*~ Over and over
~*~ I give you my heart
~*~ Give you my shoulder
~*~
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Durke's - Living Room
When : 8:46 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
Kay stared at Reese, wondering what he was going to say. Or rather do. It looked as if Reese was wondering the same thing. He let go of his hold on Kay's hand and sighed. He might as well come out with the truth too.
''Kay, have you ever wondered why a guy as smart as me, not notice that the girl that he liked, didn't feel the same way?'' he began. She scrunched up her face in confusion. His voice didn't even raise a decibal. It was almost as if he knew everything she had said, already. Reese saw the confusion on her face and the thoughts that crossed he,r easily readble, eyes. Kay maybe a guarded person, but her eyes showed everything.
Finally, she figured that she needed to be the listener for once in her life. ''Whatever you have to say Reese, say it.'' she told him.
He raised an eyebrow and motioned for her to sit on the couch. Now the positions was changed, Kay being the one to listen and Reese being the one to talk.
There was no hestitation in his stance, he seemed to have praticed this, or maybe just thought it out. Then he began,''Kay, for most of my life, I've always liked you and admired you. The way you talked, the way you acted, and the way you just were. You have this confidence and beauty that seemed to radiate off of you. It was as if you were uncaring.'' Kay looked down at the uncaring, sort of hurt he felt that way. He stopped, realizing his blunder. Wincing, he backtracked. ''Kay I didn't mean it in a negative way, I meant that you just didn't seem to care what people thought of you. I've always wanted that and I found it in you. You're amazing Kay, that's one of the reason's why I had a crush on you.''
She looked up startled on the past tense verb he had used. He nodded and continued. ''Yeah, had. I got over you a few months back. I knew you didn't like me and I knew that I didn't matter as much to you as Miguel. Kay, your the type of person to go after what you want, when you want. It would take an idiot not to see what you were doing.''
''A year back, when Charity came to town, as you put it, everything changed. Miguel focused his attention on Charity rather than you. I figured that you would just realized that he didn't like you and would move on. I still had the crush on you, so when Jessica told me you liked me, I was over joyed. This was my chance to prove to you, I am more than Miguel's best friend.''
''I knew it was all a sham back in January. You were so distant and seemed to be, well different. You were so out going, so much different. Then I began to notice the little things. The way you looked at Miguel with this sad look on your face, and the way you looked at me with contempt. The way you just seem to be some where far away when Miguel wasn't around, and all over me when he was there. I finaly figured you were using me to gt to him. I'm just suprized that I didn't realize it sooner or anyone else realized it.''
She interrupted him. ''Simone and Jessica both knew. Well, Simone since I told her, and Jessica since she just suspects anything wrong that happens to Charity is because of me. Sometimes she's right.''
Stopping his pacing, he turned to look at her, perplexed. Slightly hestiating, he asked ''Kay, why do you put out yourself for Miguel repeatedly? Why did you so suddenly change? And to tell you the truth, I've wondered why you kept the charade with me for so long when it was obviously didn't work. And since when are you giving up on Miguel?'' he said, staring incredulously at Kay.
Kay heaved a sigh, knowing that those were valid questions that deserved answers.
''As for me changing, I'm trying to start over. Maybe clean out a few skeletons in the closet. Who knows!'' She threw her hands in the air in frustartion and closed her eyes. ''All I know, is that I can't continue this thing with Miguel. It's as if you get your heart ripped into different pieces.''
''Yeah, I know the feeling.'' Reese whispered, but not soft enough. She whipped around facing him, and she felt guilty. Here she was going on and on about Miguel and never did realize how Reese was feeling. ''I'm sorry for putting all of this on you Reese.'' He shrugged it off. Even though he was over Kay, it still hurt.
''Don't worry about it Kay. I'll just have to learn to deal with it.''
Kay nodded understanding, ''Like I have to do about Miguel?'' He didn't answer. Accepting, she repsonded to the questions. ''I kept this for so long, because you looked so *happy* with me. I just wanted to feel like I was needed I suppose. Selfish, yes, but at the time, I just didn't care. This change,'' she pointed to herself, ''is just a way to start new. Hell, Miguel never noticed the makeup, or the clothes, so why the Hell put myself out there anymore!'' Her voice raised with each word, spitting the last phrase out bitterly. She turned away from Reese, not wanting to be pitied.
He never thought a visit from Kay would be emotionally draining. Trying to relieve the tension, he pinched the bridge of his nose, taking off his glasses. Her body was still facing away from him, but he went on. ''Kay, you don't need to change yourself completely just to get over Miguel. In fact, you shouldn't change yourself at all. Although I think that you should be honest with yourself *and* Miguel, I still like the old Kay. This new, but very much not improved, Kay gives up. You shouldn't give up on Miguel just yet. Comparing you to Charity, I can easily say who would win. It would be you, even though Miguel and now you, don't see it.''
''Sure, that's easy for yo-'' she whipped around, stopping in midsentence. She didn't expect what she would find when she turned around. Confusion seemed to be the feeling for the day because she felt confused for what was the fifth time that day.
~*~
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Youth Center - Gym
When : 8:49 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
''Miguel,'' Luis began, ''For all the time I've known you and Charity, I thought that this was the girl you wanted.'' His cop instincts were right now in full force. There was something that Miguel was not telling him. He wouldn't find out today, but he hoped he would soon.
''I know, I know. That's what I figured too. But you know that this year has been crazy for Charity and I .... I don't know anymore.'' He at the door, missing the person who was standing in it. She picked up the ball, and returned it to it's owner.
Miguel gulped, hoping she didn't listen in. Charity looked at Miguel, not even acknowledging his brother. The blue eyes seemed to pierce his face, cornering it. He avoided her eys, knowing she would find the truth. After a few wordless silences, Luis immediately sensed the tenison, decided to break it.
He gave a charming smile to Charity, which would make any other girl weak in the knees. ''Hello, Charity. How are you doing lately?''
It worked. Charity, quickly moved her glance to the older Lopez - Fitzgerald, and gave a tight smile. 'Well, it didn't work completely,' Luis mused. Maybe he was losing his charm.
'Nah,' he said to himself, crossing the thought from his mind. ''Fine, Officer Lopez - Fitzgerald.'' Charity responded, now bringing her tight gaze back to Miguel.
Miguel didn't return it, as she had expected. Nope, he was staring at the cuffed hardwood floor. 'It was amazing how much people learn about floors in this town.' Charity thought, not even in the slightest amused. She was going to suprize Miguel at the Youth Center since he seemed to forget that he was suppose to call her. She ran into Theresa, who seemed slightly hurried and puffy eyed. Saying that he was at the Youth Center with Luis, she quickly hurried on to the center, hoping to suprize him with a picnic. He had been sort of distant lately. And now she knew why.
''I'm not the one,'' she thought sadly, hearing the last few bits of the conversation. It was a killer blow really. She always thought that they were meant to be. But what really pissed her off was the fact that HE didn't come to her first. They shouldn't have any secrets and Charity thought that they didn't, until now.
Miguel stared at the floor, glad that Luis started to break the silence. He didn't know how much she had heard, but somehow, he was relieved that she did hear it. Now she knew what he was feeling and maybe, just maybe she felt the same way too!
He took a peak on Charity's face and knew instantly. There was no snowball's chance in hell that he was going to out of the woods yet. She looked ready to kill and saddened.
And the victim: Him.
'Maybe I should have stayed in bed today.' Miguel thought, wincing as her ice blue eyes, seemed to pierce two very small holes in his head.
~*~
Where: Harmony, Maine - The Harmony Park - The Duck Pond
When : 8:52 AM Thursday, June 15, 2000
Jessica found Simone deep in thought. Not staring at anything important. Just a couple of ducks, and an old couple feeding them bread crumbs. It was a beatiful day, not to be shared inside. Jessica left the house early, just wanting to walk around Harmony. But why can the city be always it's namesake? Because everything in Jessica's life was anything but harmony.
Sighing, she turned to Simone, disturbing her thoughts for the moment. ''Simone, what are we gonna do?'' Jessica asked, going straight to the point.
Simone snapped her head up, looking at Jessica. Her normal, cheerful eyes, had dark bags underneath them, making her look older. Her face sagged in the weight of her frown and her clothes were slightly ruffled. Jessica looked like an absolute, complete, mess.
''Jess, I think that we should tell Charity. We've known this for, what, a day, and this is already becoming to hard to bear.'' Simone said, giving up. She thought a lot oabout this, and Charity, who was the center of the problem, could maybe fix a way to fix the problem.
Yes, it was crazy, but to Simone, it was worth a shot.
Jessica grimaced under the name Charity. Currently, she wasn't so fond of her. But what choice did they have? Suddenly, Jessica smiled. ''Hey, what about Miguel?'' she asked Simone. Anything was better than Charity. Even Miguel was looking better and better.
Simone looked at Jessica as if she was crazy. ''No.''
Jessica looked back at Simone in confusion. ''Why not? He is her best friend.''
Simone sighed wearily. ''Because Kay wouldn't want him to be there. It would just make things worse. Kay hates to be pitied. Miguel is more of a pitier. She would shut him out and that would be the end of that. We can only use Miguel as the last resort. Otherwise, we might just shun ourselves out from Kay, too.''
As twisted as that sounded to Jessica, she knew Simone was right. If all else fails, use Miguel, her one weakness.
That meant that they'll have to tell Charity.
Jessica voiced her thought.''So I guess it's Charity, then.''
Simone nodded. ''Yeah, She already knows about the whole pill thing. Might as well tell her the whole truth. That would get her off our backs and maybe even help Kay.''
As promising as that sounded. Jessica was worried.
'This is going to be the worst mistake we ever made,' she thought.
Little did she know how right and wrong she was.