((A/N: As for the name of this chapter, "Equinophobia": You probably dunno what it means. Neither did I, a couple of days ago. I went on a website to find out what the name was of the phobia I wanted. You'll know what Equinophobia means at the end of the chapter :)
((Another thing I wanted to note was that this story may be getting a bit violent. So be forewarned! *yeesh, I may have to change the secondary genre!*))
Hatashenai
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
"Knife... Dagger... Dirk... Knife -erg, I mean Slasher and- Ah, SHIT!!" Tasuki hurled the handful of knives he was sorting through onto the floor, sending them clattering about. Rasconza turned around from where she was packing a little bag of "tools" for their next raid.
"That's a Cleaver, Huan-Lang," she stated, rolling her eyes. "Butchers use 'em."
Tasuki shot her a deathglare. "Whaddid I tell ya about calling me 'Huan-Lang', woman?"
"Whaddid I tell ya about calling me 'woman', BOSS?"
Huan-Lang and Rasconza were preparing for that night's raid, and Rasconza's first. It had been twelve days since Rasconza's arrival, and a week since Chichiri's. The new bandit was getting along quite well with the other bandits, and they didn't even seem to notice that she was, well, a she. Though she DID tend to bicker with Huan-Lang a lot. The monk had decided to stay for awhile, because, as he had so wisely put it, "Da".
Speaking of which, Chichiri was planning on doing something curious: He was going to accompany Tsing-Ka, Huan-Lang, and Rasconza on tonight's raid. It wasn't a very big one: Just some estate somewhere. He assured them HE wasn't going to steal anything, but rather, "Keep an eye on you people no da,".
Rasconza shouldered her bag. "Right Sparky, let's move out." A look of sheer horror crossed The Phantom Wolf's face.
"SPARKY?!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Huan-Lang, Rasconza, Chichiri, and Tsing-Ka, the bandit who had had a very, VERY short relationship with the last Emperor of Hong-Nan, waved goodbye to Knei-Gong.
"You take care o' th' Boss fer us, 'k Rasconza?!" He joked. "He gits his ass in too deep too much!"
Huan-Lang gave a fanged scowl at his best friend. He was about to make an EVIL retort when he noticed Rasconza had turned a ghastly white, her mouth was agape, and her eyes were wide. She was staring transfixed at the three horses, not uttering a sound except occasional attempts at breathing. Tasuki had no idea why, but he felt his body go numb, too.
"RASSY!" He yelled, gripping her shoulders. "RASSY!!"
Wide eyes never leaving the horses, Rasconza lifted her arm, made a fist, and bopped Tasuki in the face. Hard.
"OWOWOWOWOW!!" He rubbed his red cheek. "Oi, well I see you're FINE, woman!" But Rasconza continued to stare blankly at the blue mare, the black roan, and a brown stallion that looked a lot like a modern-day racing horse. A lightbulb appeared over Tsing-Ka's face.
"Rasconza is afraid of HORSES!!!" Rasconza shot him an excellent deathglare, but remained ghostly pale. Chichiri made his Sad In A Mask Face (tm). Tasuki sweatdropped, then grinned.
"BUAHAHAHA!! TH' WOMAN'S AFRAID OF A HORSE!! BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Chichiri frowned.
"Well, I seem to remember a certain tessen-carrying seishi that ran SCREAMING from water no da..."
"BUAHAHAHA-Er, yeah," grumbled Huan-Lang as he sweatdropped. "Listen, d'ya know HOW to ride a horse?" Rasconza shook her head. Tasuki shrugged as he swung onto the brown horse.
"Well, then you'll jes hafta' saddle up wit Chichiri. He won' letcha- EH?!"
Chichiri was a bit put out at Tasuki for so readily messing with a person's phobia. He knew Tasuki wasn't exactly crazy about water, so he had no right to talk. So he decided to be OOC, by which I mean, MEAN.
"Sorry Tasuki no da," he said as he got up on the mare. "I don't think she should ride with me no da. I'm not very good on a horse, and this one doesn't seem very strong no da. Ask Tsing-Ka instead no da." Huan-Lang growled darkly to himself before turning to the bandit in question.
"Tsing-Ka?"
Contrary to popular belief (especially among certain reincarnated emperors), Tsing-Ka was NOT stupid. He caught onto Chichiri's little plan quickly, and smiled at the Boss as he put it into action.
"Sorry, Boss," he stated. "I don't think Anckonshi is very docile. He don' like no 'un but me." Tsing-Ka slyly slipped a knife (though if you asked Rasconza, she would rabidly inform you it was a DAGGER) out of his belt and gently pricked the roan he was now mounted on in the neck as Huan-Lang approached it. It whinnied and nearly kicked Huan-Lang's horse. Huan-Lang backed off.
"Tch, fine woman, git up here. He reached down to give her a hand.
'*WHUMP!* She scowled, but spoke rather softly. "I don' need no help getting ON the ****n' horse." Her voice dropped to a scared whisper as she wrapped her arms around Huan-Lang's waist and shut her eyes tightly.
"It's when they start MOVIN' I get spooked..."
*BA-DUMP*
'Tch, whatever.' Huan-Lang turned the horse in a circle to face Chichiri and Tsing-Ka, noting that Rasconza's terrified grip on him tightened even more.
"OK, fella's, listen up!" He addressed his tiny group. "We're goin' t' be robbin' this place that's about five miles from here!! Big estate, s'possedly belongin t' some guy who worked for th' Qu-Dong." He lowered his voice. "I dunno if it's true or not, but treasure's treasure! Let's git our asses outta' here!!"
The three horses disappeared into the forest and sunset, carrying a bandit-leader, a magical monk, an ex-Emperor chaser, and a thoroughly terrified blade-thrower.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ride was pretty uneventful. The quartet rode along in total silence, and they weren't making very good time. Tasuki noted that whenever they had to speed up a bit, Rasconza's grip on him would tighten. 'I dunno HOW th' hell I got suckered into this...' *Because you nearly killed her, asshole?* The other voice replied, the one that always appeared whenever he was nice to the scarily strong-willed warrior behind him. No. I don't think that's it
?
I think it's something else A new voice was talking. A voice Tasuki didn't even know he HAD...
'What're you insinuatin'?!'
*Besides the fact you're a skitzo?*
'Shaddup!!'
Oh, nothing... But think about it... Isn't she PRETTY?
'Shaddup you stupid sunnova...'
But Tasuki, despite himself, looked. And, as if by some cruel twist of fate, the sunset was in full-blossom, highlighting Rasconza The Tigress' face and hair. Tasuki cocked his head as he stared at the most annoying person in the world for over a week of his life, almost confused.
When she wasn't trying to stab you, or swearing at you, or insulting you, or breaking your bones, or secretly aggravating you by beating your finest male warriors to a pulp without blinking, or just plain trying to KILL you...
...she WAS kinda' cute...
'Tch, whatever,' Tasuki literally told himself(ves). However, he wanted to try something, just to see if it would work... And if it did... How it felt...
Heh heh heh Just do it Tasuki rolled his eyes, then allowed himself the tiniest grin, the tips of his fangs barely protruding from his upper lip.
"YAH!!"
The horse broke into a trot. For those of you people who know nothing about horses and think that a trot is nice and slow, you're WRONG. A "trot" feels more like a "gallop" and when you DO feel a GALLOP... Ugh. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. A trot is very fast, and VERY bumpy.
Rasconza gave a grunt and tried to fold her head into her chest as she got a firmer grip on Tasuki by CAREFULLY moving her arms to his torso.
"Hua-Huan-Lang!" She hissed, nearly suffocating him in her iron grip. "What the **** are you DOING?!"
Huan-Lang shrugged, causing Rasconza to make an amusing "Eep"ing noise as his shoulders shifted. "I dunno. Going faster?"
"Ooo," grumbled Rasconza as her fingers kneaded into the fabric of his cloak and tunic, latching on for dear life. "Yer gonna' get it..."
The orange-haired Bandit-Lord chuckled. "Oh I AM, am I? Well, we REALLY need to make time sooooooo..." Rasconza's heart leapt into her throat. Tasuki leaned foreward, then smacked the horse's rear.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD.
"BUAHAHAHAAHAA!!" He roared. This was FUN.
*mmph!*
Oo;;
Tasuki felt Rasconza's head buried into the thick cloth of his tunic on his shoulder. She was pretty much sloping her body to the curve of his back, too afraid to even breathe. She kept on trying to hold on even more tightly, so as she wouldn't die a agonizing and cloppity death.
Tasuki wasn't sure he liked this feeling. But he wasn't at all sure he didn't like it, either.
"Ano, hey..." He grumbled, turning his head to look at her. "You OK? Yew afraid 'r somethin?"
Rasconza peeped up to look at her tormentor, and gave him a little rewarding smile. "Nottat all."
She then snuggled back into her little sanctum and squeezed her eyes shut. Tasuki grinned. Yes indeed, as long as she wasn't trying to slit your throat, she wasn't too bad to have around at all.
A slight distance behind him, Chichiri gave Tsing-Ka a broad smile and the thumbs-up sign. Tsing-Ka grinned and winked back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're sure it's Ptah-Shu?"
"No, Lord,"
"Then why do you bother us?!"
*SMASH!!*
A purple-robed figure sitting on a large throne in a darkened room chucked a golden wine-goblet at the mottled greenish-brown-cloaked man bowing before him. His aim was slightly off, and the goblet shattered on the wall behind him.
"Please, Lord, understand: It may or may not be Ptah-Jun's child. We cannot tell from such a distance. A person is with them that clearly has the chi of a sorcerer. It would be foolhardy to go any nearer. There are four: Two that we know naught of, though one of them may or may not be Ptah-Shu. The two others, however..." The cloaked man paused and allowed a twisted grin to further contort his already hideous face. "...are seishi."
Though the darkness still blotted out the "lord's" features, the grotesque smile could be seen clearly. A strange symbol on his cheek glowed a searing green as he uttered one word:
"Go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tasuki had once again gone back to a trot, as his horse seemed to be getting tired. He could only hope that it didn't share its brother's interest in boxing...
However, Rasconza was still snuggled into his cloak. She wasn't digging her fingers into it anymore, and her arms were back around his waist, and at least Huan-Lang could frikkin' BREATHE again, but she was still there, apparently resting.
'That's one tough chick,' he thought to himself. 'She deserves a little break.'
Tasuki went back to enjoying the scenery. A very pansy thing to do, but then again, so was letting some girl use your current clothing as a semi-blanket. Then again, he wondered if this pansy-ifying factor was negating if the girl was a wild knife-throwing maniac, or if the fact that horses and eniquophobia were involved...
'Aw, just screw it.' No one had to know.
The sun had gone down completely. It was a crescent moon, only illuminating the elm forests slightly. He could faintly make out the rustling of leaves over the clip-clopping of the horses, probably some squirrels gathering nuts or somethin'. A faint shimmer could be seen from the dephths of the forest, indicating a lake or a spring of some sort. A cool night breeze ruffled his fiery hair and Rasconza's brownish-blond together, re-
"TSING-KA!! LOOK OUT!!"
Tsing-Ka heeded Chichiri's warning just in time. As he reared up his horse, a huge scimitar blade came slashing down from the foliage, decapitating his horse from the neck and sending Tsing-Ka crashing to the ground.
*Whiiiiineeeee!!!*
"AAHHH!!"
Tasuki and Chichiri's horse skirked sending Rasconza sliding off of its back, dragging Huan-Lang with her. Without missing a beat, the Phantom Wolf flipped places with Rasconza, sending him crashing down to the ground on his back, shielding Rasconza from the hard earth with his own body. He heard the steady hoofbeats of his horse continue for a few moments, then fall silent with a whinnie and the sound of steel striking bone.
"WHAT THE ****?!!" Screamed Tsing-Ka as he grabbed for his saber. Tasuki, despite the pain, rolled Rasconza off of his stomach and grabbed his tessen, assuming a battle-stance.
"Give us Ptah-Shu and no one else will be harmed." A cold voice said, echoing throughout the still and once peaceful night that now ranked with the stench of blood.
"What the **** did you just say, you MOTHER-****ING BASTARD?!!" Tasuki's chi was building. "WHO IN TH' NAME OF FOUR GODS DO YA _THINK_ . YOU. ARE??!!"
Just at that moment, Chichiri, who was still mounted atop his mare, cast a spell. 'No good at riding my ass,' thought Tasuki darkly, despite the circumstances. It illuminated the scene: About six or seven dark men dressed similarly to the Qu-Dong assassins, only dressed in green-brown cloaks, were glaring at them, giant weapons held easily and at the ready. Another one stood at the front of the group, a sneer on his face.
"I'll repeat myself," he said as Tasuki, Chichiri, and Tsing-Ka snarled. "I said: Give us Pt-ACK!!"
Never again would the man repeat anything, because a golden, silent blade was now growing from both sides of his neck. All of the men turned to see Rasconza, the feared tigress once again, now that horses were out of the picture, standing with an arm extened from the action of throwing the blade, the other arm grasping the handle of another. She took the knife and pointed at her scar with it. The assassins' eyes went wide.
"_I'M_ Ptah-Shu!" She yelled. "Yew boys want me?! COME 'N GET ME!!"
((A/N: Eniquophobia is the fear of horses.
(( OOOO!! SPOOKY!! *actual thoughts of readers: What kinda' crack is Akai _ON_?!* For added effect, hum "Heart Ni Kuahoshi Sakashitare"!! ))