Hatashenai
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku
Chichiri's mind had been forged by hundreds of battles, and it began to work like a machine. There were six men, seven if you counted the one the not-so-defenseless maiden had dispatched. That made it two for some of them, one for the others.
"SPREAD OUT!!" He roared. "THEY HAVE SORCERERS' CHI NO DA!!"
Tasuki readied his tessen. "Yew don't stay down fer long, do ya, woman?!" He bellowed. "All right, LEKKA... "
*SHWOOP!*
The men shimmered and vanished.
"Dammit," muttered Tsing-Ka as he tensed up, gripping his saber. "They're doing that Qu-Dong ****...."
Silence
"TSING-KA, ABOVE YOU!!"
*Shhhhhhhhhht...!
Tsing-Ka sidestepped just in time as the huge scimitar blade cleaved practically his after-image in half. He brought up his saber quickly, but found the strange cloaked man had some sort of blade of his own under his robe, which he used to parry. The force of the parry knocking both men back, Tsing-Ka found himself parrying with another assassin that had been waiting to strike behind him.
The first assassin found himself landing against Chichiri's chest. The monk frowned and slammed an uppercut into the man's chin; Chichiri was stronger than he looked. The man fell to the earth as his eyes rolled back in his head. Chichiri dashed off to help Tsing-Ka.
"LEKKA SHIEEEEN!!"
*FOOMPH!!*
The forest was illuminated briefly by the Divine Blaze. Two assassins screamed out in pain as they fell to the ground, burns searing. One never got up. The other came at Tasuki with startling speed.
*SHINK!*
"AAAAAAAAAARGH!!"
Tasuki pressed his palm to his left shoulder in a futile attempt to staunch the flow of blood. He growled as the assassin prepared to strike again...
...and in a phantom blur, the assassin crumpled to his knees, struck down by a red blade, flying with its keeper.
Tasuki gripped his tessen, ready to cast the spell, when the assassin leapt into the air and shot toward the Bandit Lord, only to be knocked aside by the same blur, swept up in a martial dance for his very life.
Tsing-Ka and Chichiri battled two assassins back-to-back, both men bleeding in several places. They were trying to fight their way to Tasuki, and though they couldn't see her, Chichiri could sense that Rasconza was close by. His voice became urgent. "Tsing-Ka no da!"
"AAIEEEEEE!!"
A carcass fell to the earth as a blur shot out from a tree and toward Tasuki, who had another assassin closing in behind him. The faint smell of smoke wafted into Chichiri's nostrils.
"Four Gods...!", he breathed. The entire forest was ablaze from Tasuki's Lekka Shien, now swimming in a sea of searing orange and red. Chichiri didn't let his gaurd down, but an assassin had, though only slightly, and found himself cleaved by Tsing-Ka's saber.
"Tsing-Ka!! We have to get out of here NOW no da!!" He yelled. A thin blade sliced at his chest. Chichiri darted back, but his shirt had been cleaved, as well as the string holding his kasa around the back of his neck. It went sailing into the crackling flames.
"Dammit," hissed Chichiri. 'So much for that idea no da...'
Suddenly, the assassin Chichiri had been fighted yelled something over the roar of the fire, and shimmered away in a flash of green, as did the man Tasuki and Rasconza had been doing battle with. Chichiri's eyed darted around.
"I don't sense them anymore," he stated, breathing heavily. Who WERE these guys, anyway? He spread out his kesa. "Right now, we should all get back to Ligé-San no da."
Wordlessly, the three obeyed and made their way to the kesa. In a few chants, they'd all left the blazing forest and the stench of blood behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So you are certain that it is Ptah-Shu?"
"Hai, Subaru-sama. No other woman could have done such damage: It is surely she."
The man in black robes sat in his throne, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he looked at the two men bowing before him. He had sent seven of his finest assassins, yet only two had returned. It was almost disturbing how much two seishi, a dead woman, and a bandit could do. Almost.
"Good. I grieve for the loss of our brothers-in-arms." Everyone present knew that the man couldn't give a smaller shit. "However, we need to dispose of Ptah-Shu. You two know where she has gone to." It was not a question. For if their lord had needed it to be, they would have been no better off than the smouldering hunks of carbon that had once been their partners back in the blazing forest.
The other cloaked man came forward a step, bowed, and spoke. "Lord, she is now a bandit of Ligé-San." Their lord smiled, the green character glowing on his right cheek.
"This is good. Send in Karasuki. Not the real Karasuki, of course," he added, seeing the confused looks on his Shadow Slayers' faces. "The OTHER Karasuki... You know who I mean..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"C'mon Sparky, rise 'n' shine!"
Silence.
"DAMMIT!"
Rasconza kicked at a rock in frustration. The rock went sailing through the air, landed thirty miles away, and knocked out a young lady from another world, who was subsequently bitten by a hamster whilst unconcious, so she subsequently became enraged at another young lady who had nothing to do with anything, so she subsequently tried to take over the world. Unfortunately, her shoe was untied and she tripped over her laces, breaking her neck. This would have been a very Tragic Story if anybody had actually cared.
Chichiri hadn't quite managed to warp them to Ligé-San. Instead, they were about a half a mile away, sitting on the ground. Tasuki was bleeding badly from the wound in his shoulder, and seemed to be unconscious. Rasconza was crouching over him, doing everything in her power to get him to wake up and say something, even if it would be stupid. Which ten-to-one it would be.
"C'mon, Sparks," she growled. "How could ya git yerself so beat up about a stupid little dagger-wound?" She shook him by the shoulders. "Git up, ya asshole."
Tasuki stopped breathing.
Rasconza gasped and bit her lip. Tsing-Ka's jaw dropped open. Chichiri looked as if he were ready to cry.
'The Lone Tigress does not cry... The Lone Tigress does not cry... The Lone...'
"HUAN-LANG!!!"
She fell onto the grass beside him, sobbing and pounding the ground. "Y'stupid BASTARD!! Yeah, go 'n' git yerself killed, see if I care!! Leave all yer buddies behind!! Can't you !!^*n' consider US?!" She continued to sniffle a bit and grabbed Huan-Lang's limp hand, forcing him to punch himself in the face. Tsing-Ka made his way over to calm her down, though he knew that in a few minutes he wouldn't be much better than she was. Chichiri put his hand on Tsing-Ka's shoulder. He sadly shook his head. Tsing-Ka understood and stayed where he was.
"Bastard... Jerk... Sunnova..." Every single insult Rasconza could think of she was muttering into the grass. She had about five living friends in the world, and the Boss had been one of them. Probably... Her best, even if she always had been a jerk. She half-heartedly continued the reverie of names. "Dumbass... I hate you..."
*tp*
Rasconza felt an unusually gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Tasuki, still on his side, grinning at her. Her eyes bugged out.
"Heh heh heh... I fooled ya." He snickered. "I didn't know you cared!" A low growl emitted from the Tigress' throat.
"I DON'T care, y'jerk!!" She hissed. "But... I was worried about you. DAMMIT, don't DO that...!"
"Ano, Rassy?" Her eyes glinted dangerously.
"WHAT."
"Yew ken... let go o' my hand now."
"An' yew ken let go o' my shoulder!"
"Uhm, Rasconza no da..."
"WHAT is it?!" Rasconza bore her teeth at Tsing-Ka and Chichiri. They sweatdropped.
"Look, we're really sorry t' interrupt this tender moment an' shit but-"
"SHUT THE @&!& UP!!" Yelled the two bandits who were in unnecessarily close proximity to each other. The sweatdrops quintuppled in size as the two instantaneously moved into different TIMEZONES...
"I don't LIKE girls!"
"An' I don't like HIM!"
They sat cross-legged, arms folded, eyes closed, backs to each other, and noses in the air, displaying roughly the maturity normally associated with a pair of preschoolers.
Chichiri sighed. "That's all well and good, Rasconza," he said quietly. "But I want to know... Who were those people no da?" Rasconza sighed.
"I s'pose it's time to tell ya'all th' truth..." Tasuki snorted.
"I SUPPOSE so!" Rasconza ignored him.
"First... My father was a Byakko no Seishi. His name was Ptah-Jun, though he bore the mark of Toroki on his left ankle..."
"Your dad was a SEISHI?!" Tasuki yelled. Rasconza nodded.
"Hai, TASUKI," She had never called him that before. It was always Huan-Lang, Boss, or...SPARKY... "The Summoning Of Byakko went much better than the Summoning Of Suzaku. Everybody was alive... The Miko made three wishes and faced no side-effects: To be with her love, Takari, forever, to save her kingdom, and to give each of the seishi each of their wishes...
"Father's best and most trusted friend was named Karasuki. Mother is Karasuki's brother... The two got married-"
"Itai! Your DAD married another GUY?!" Tasuki yelled. Rasconza bopped him in the head.
"No frikkin way ya baka yarou!! This fic isn't YAOI!!" Tasuki scratched his head.
"Ano, what's yaoi?"
"I dunno," said Rasconza, looking puzzled.
"Or a fic, fer that matter?" Tsing-Ka asked.
"No frikkin' clue," murmured Rasconza eerily.
"Also no da," Chichiri said. "Why are we speaking in snippits of Japanese no da? Aren't we supposed to be CHInese na no da?"
Suddenly, the entire quartet turned toward you, the reader, with huge grins on their faces and exclaimed in unison:
"Ni-HAO!!"
They then returned to the regularly scheduled fanfic as if nothing at all had happened.
"So, my mum had a kid. That was m' brother, Ptah-Karasuki, named after m'uncle. Not long after, I was born..." She smiled. "Dad always said that just 'cause I was a woman dudn't mean I had t' live a woman's life, submissive and petite. He said I could GIT out there and do what I wanted to, an' that nothin' could stop me, an' that I'd always be his daughter..."
Tasuki was perfectly still. He cocked his head and stared at the stammering Tigress, the rising sun reflected in her tears, her scar slashed across her face like a stain on a painting, something that didn't truly belong with the masterpiece.
And then he realized tears were threatening to fall from his OWN eyes... And he didn't know why. Then he realized she was talking about her father in past-tense. Dang, it sounded like she loved her dad. He sat there, listening to her, totally captivated, ignoring the fact that the tears were gently cascading down his face...
She was making him cry...
?!
"What Dad really wanted," she continued. "Was fer me t' prove women could be just as good as men........"
"...so he wanted ya t' become a warrior?" Tsing-Ka asked. Rasconza shook her head and looked more than a tad nervous.
"Ano... ACTUALLY... He wanted me t' be... A scholar."
*WHUMP!* *WHUMP!*
"That makes sense..." Chichiri and Tsing-Ka stared at Huan-Lang with incredulous expressions on thier faces. "It does. When I came inta' her room, she was practicin' frikkin' KANJI... An' she could barely move her arm t' boot! She didn't seem like no pansy-ass scholar type t' ME....!"
Rasconza grinned. "Yer smarter than ya' look, Tasuki." She lapsed back into her state of melancholy. "When I was about fourteen... We were greated wit' a pleasant surprise: My paw's ol' buddy and his fellow Byakko no Seishi, Subaru. We welcomed him in with open arms..." Her sadness vanished. She began to state the gruesome facts plainly and simply.
"Suabaru killed Mum an' Dad. Got Karasuki, too. Turns out, his wish was t' be the strongest of th'
Byakko no Seishi. So bam, damn, we were all dead." Everyone's eyes became wide with horror and pity. Rasconza's reaction wasn't expected: She became angry.
"WIPE THOSE LOOKS OFFA' YER STUPID FACES, Y'HEAR?!! I'M _FINE_ NOW, K?!!" She spun around to face each one of them, her tears always flowing behind her. "I'M LUCKY T'BE _ALIVE_, GOT IT?!! THAT'S WHAT I'VE TOLD M'SELF FER FIVE YEARS!!" She winced. "I was lucky t'wake up after that attack. Rat-bastard's horse kicked be right in' th' gut. Big 'orse, too. I wandered 'round, gettin' my food by chuckin' stuff at it. 'Ventually moved onta' blade-throwin'; Killed a tiger 'un day, got m'self my title. Rasconza was somethin' people used to yell; I still have no Byakko-damned clue what it means. Swiped these beauts from one place orranother." She indicated the glistening blades on her belts, some still red or brown from the evening before. She then looked at her three companions: Tsing-Ka had a look of pity on his face as he stared at the bandit who had the blood of seishi running through her veins. Chichiri's mask was in his hand, and his head was bowed slightly as he half-stared at the ground. And Tasuki... Tasuki was sitting on a rock, his arms crossed and his back to her. Rasconza nearly exploded.
"YOU!! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!"
Tasuki turned around, trembling, tears seeping out of his closed eyes. His mouth was shut tightly into a straight line. He grimaced, opened his eyes, letting the tears pour, and screamed at her:
"STOP CRYING, DAMMIT!!!"
((A/N: Whooo... THAT's a nasty past! It's obligatory if you're a Fushigi Yuugi character of any kind, though. Plus, I need it for the main story line.
((Anonther not: Did ANYBODY else find it odd, even JUST a LITTLE, that your typical rabid psycho-chick was practicing kanji!? (Refer back to Chapter 3 if you have to) ANYBODY?!! Well, there it is, explained, if you did.
((Also, as a final note: I was, at no point, by any means, Yui-bashing.))