WoOt-WOo!! Im rall gud cos im on a hypAR suGR HII!!!
(Hmm….. yet another angst-ridden little ditty. Have fun…)
***
How can I forget you?
Disregard how I feel?
How can I go on? Nothing seems to matter anymore… now that you're not here to share it with me. It took me so long to realise exactly how much I cared for you, but now that I have, there doesn't seem to any second chances. You're gone, and the world expects me to accept that. I lost my parents at age one, and now I've lost you at age sixteen. First loves don't dissipate easily, especially when every day of praise for my actions is embittered when I see the look in Ron's brown eyes…
Silently listen
To the words I conceal…
Your eyes were brown too.
As long as I have tried
as low as I can be
I will never resign myself
From the trials I seek.
I can't handle the pain, the guilt… when I saw you lying there, amidst the long grass, I suffered the same torment. And when you looked at me, your eyes full of nothing but love, I felt my heart sing.
I never deserved your love. You deserved every ounce of it from me but, in life, I never realised - I gave you nothing, whereas you gave me power to save the world. Your love kept me going, kept me believing in truth and freedom…. and beauty too.
Why should I forgive you?
After all that I've seen?
Wormtail has been locked away now, in Azkaban. He shouldn't last more than a year - he doesn't have the knowledge that he is innocent as Sirius did… and he doesn't deserve pity. He betrayed my parents, he betrayed Sirius, he betrayed the world.
He gave me back my life, yet took away yours.
Quietly whisper
When my heart wants to scream…
I can't stand the silence. Hogwarts is full of nothing but silence. People walk through the hallways, never talking… the teachers are getting frustrated by everyone's lack of attention. Hell, even Hermione hasn't been doing her homework! I can't stop thinking about what I could have changed, what I could have done differently.
You weren't the only one to die, I know that. Everyone is dealing with different pain - this isn't like Cedric, all mourning for one. It's more like one mourning for all.
I think I've watched one too many old movies.
For as long as I have tried
And as low as I can be
I will never resign myself
From the trials I seek.
"Harry…"
"Shh… Don't speak. Just hold on."
"I'm dying, Harry. There's no stopping it."
"Stop talking and I promise we'll stop it."
"I'm scared, Harry…"
"So am I… so am I."
There's no time to rest
Or to reconsider
What more? Ron can't even look at me properly anymore, and Hermione is distant. School is getting better - people are starting to forget. Starting to laugh again. Not me… not me. I can barely think, let alone work. Sometimes I sit in my bed, the curtains pulled closed for so long that when I open them again its night, or days have passed, or weeks or months and I still can't stop.
I wish I had died with you.
For this cruel onsurge
Won't concede…
It's been so long. Seven Months and I can't forget, can't block it out. It's haunting me like a plague, tearing out my insides every time I hear your name.
Virginia…
For as long as I have tried
And as low as I can be
I must carry on. It will be difficult, but there is nothing else to do. Life will never be the same, and although the immediate threats are gone, there will always be something else. Something bigger. There's so much evil in the world, that sometimes I don't think I can take it.
I will carry on. For you, for me… and for the rest of the world. But, I'll always love you, Ginny.
I will never resign myself
From the trial I seek.
Seven Months © Portishead
Characters © JK Rowling
Everything Else © Me