Disclaimer: I don't own any of the RK characters!
Tenshi's Notes: This idea has been in my head for a while now, and has the potential for me to continue if there's enough reviews for it. I've tried to keep my Japanese down to a minimum, but some things just don't translate into English nicely ^_^ The story itself is a bit weird, but I just couldn't get rid of the images. I started writing it after having been away from writing for a bit, so don't mind me if it stinks.
Music inspiration: Yubiwa from the Escaflowne movie
Dedications: To Au-chan for being gracious enough to pre-read it for me and encouraging me to post it. To Angel-chan for always being a great friend and always supporting me. To Alex-chan for loving "Again" when no one else does. To Elise-chan, who has vanished. To Xu Xin for reviewing *EVERY* thing I've posted. *grins* You guys are the best!
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Promises
With surprising grace and skill, she leapt through the air before executing a neat somersault. As her feet landed softly on the ground, her right arm waved the bokken in a swift, sure stroke, and the action caused the sound to thunder in the forest. The tree trembled as cascading waves of leaves rained around her. Kaoru panted, slightly out of breath from her intensive training. She had spent hours nestled in the confines of the clearing that she had come to practice every day. Since her encounter with Kamatari, Kaoru had found the need to be able to better protect herself. She didn't want to always depend on Kenshin since he might some day… leave.
She shook her head. It didn't bear thinking about. Just remembering what she experienced when he had left for Kyoto had nearly torn her apart. She never wanted to be that girl again. She had run the dojo since she was a young girl, and she would continue to do so even after she left.
Though they had never spoken much about what transpired in Kyoto, it was on the tips of everyone's mind, including her own. How long would it be before Kenshin believed that he was causing them too much worry and trouble? How long would it be before he left them again leaving her to try to pick up the pieces?
Her brow furrowing, she forced the disturbing thoughts out of her head before resuming training. She would become strong. She had to.
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The temperature had steadily fallen, and despite all her exertions, Kaoru could feel the chill seeping into her skin. She shivered as she finished the last of her exercises. Carefully tucking her bokken behind her, she began making her way back home. Kenshin would have dinner ready, and it would be the usual chaos that would greet her as she announced her arrival. Despite her weary muscles and the cold, she smiled to herself. She loved her family with a fierce intensity. With them around, she would never be alone again.
She wrapped her gi tighter around her as a light rain began to fall. She quickened her pace, feeling the hairs at the back of her nape stand on end. There was something strange about the forest today, and not one to discount her intuitions, she began running.
Suddenly, she was filled with an incredible sense of urgency to be home. To be safe. To be with Kenshin.
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"Saa, this is going to be a kickass meal!" Yahiko announced as he made appreciative noises.
Sanosuke leaned forward and inhaled the aromas drifting lazily towards his awaiting nose. "I think you outdid yourself this time, Kenshin, buddy!!" He slapped Kenshin's back heartily, sending the smaller man stumbling forward.
"Oro…" Kenshin muttered while sitting himself back up. "Tae-dono was nice enough to share some of the extra vegetables and chicken she had."
"To think! Chicken!!" Yahiko smacked his lips once again. Something other than miso soup or fish definitely made his stomach protest even more. "Can't we eat now??"
Kenshin smiled at the plaintive note in the young boy's voice. "Iie, Yahiko. We should wait for Kaoru-dono to get back." He glanced upward at the sky, feeling the sun's rays warm his face, much like a young woman had warmed his heart.
"Che, we'll just save some food for Jou-chan." Sanosuke's stomach growled ominously, threatening its owner with unforeseen circumstances if not fed soon.
"Busu needs to lose weight anyway," Yahiko muttered.
"Iie, we will wait."
Yahiko and Sanosuke could only groan. That tone of voice from Kenshin… and the way he sat so patiently at the dinner table… they would not be eating dinner any time soon.
The sun began making its final descent into the land. Orange-red beams scattered this way and that, and the air was strangely still. Kenshin frowned to himself. It had been a while. Sanosuke and Yahiko had finally passed out from starvation as they continued waiting for Kaoru. The beginnings of anxiety were striking him. It was unlike her to be this late after practice. He knew that after Kyoto, nothing would be the same. He had given her that all-too-brief embrace before leaving, thinking he would never see her again. His sunshine. How she had given him so much light in a part of his life that he thought he would never experience.
His former life as the hitokiri had taken away his right to feel any joy and happiness. When he first saw her, it was as if someone up above had finally smiled upon him and given him a second chance at life. When she asked him to stay… iie, she had asked the rurouni to stay, he had thought his heart would explode with happiness.
The prickle of uneasiness returned once again, and he found himself being assailed by sensations he did not like. Something strange was going on. The urge to find Kaoru became far too strong. Getting up swiftly and silently, he tightened his hand around the handle of his sakabatou.
Nothing will happen to her. Nothing will, he repeated to himself as he left the dojo.
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Kenshin moved like he had never moved before in his life. Summoning up the pace he only reserved for extreme battles, the need to assure to himself that Kaoru was okay became overwhelming. He didn't want to think what it would be like if something happened to her. ~ Iie. Nothing will because you swore to yourself a long time ago that you would give up your life if necessary to protect her. ~ He thought to himself.
His eyes darted between houses as he finally crossed the bridge that would take him to the other side of town. Knowing that she preferred solitude when training, she would probably head over to the forest with that clearing.
His feet stopped moving suddenly as he spotted her at the foot of the bridge. Her lifeless eyes sprung to life at the sight of him, and her lips moved slowly.
"Ken-shin… something… is not… right," she whispered with the last of her breath as she tumbled forward.
"Kaoru-dono!!!!" he cried out. Dashing forward, he caught her body as she slumped against him. Though the skies were still clear around them, he could've sworn he felt the dampness of her clothes and the cold that seeped through.
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The shivers that racked her body had frightened him senseless. Megumi had to pry Kaoru away from his arms to inspect her.
"Let her go, Ken-san. If you wish her to be alive, let me do my job."
"H-hai…"
He had stared at her nearly blue lips and her small slight form laying so still on the ground. Megumi had begun prodding at her, testing her for various illnesses she could think of. As time passed on, the frown on her face had become more pronounced.
"I don't understand. According to her physical signs, she should be feeling fine. No signs of cold, pneumonia, … anything."
Something within him snapped. Something was wrong with Kaoru and even a doctor didn't know why. Anguish poured out like blood from the open wounds he had inflicted too often on his victims.
"Save her damnit!!" he yelled out before he could stop himself. Megumi's dark eyes widened in surprise as his own did.
"I… I don't know what's wrong with her, Kenshin. I'll consult with Genzai-sensei. He might know more," she said quietly, hurt apparent in her voice.
He clenched his fist in a desperate attempt to control the rapidly vanishing self-control he had always exerted over himself. But the very thought of losing her was killing him inside. He had known from the start that by him being there that he would somehow bring harm to her. He still didn't understand the dampness from her clothes that he had felt when they had appeared perfectly dry.
"Her heart rate is slowing down. It's almost as if…" Megumi shook her head and got up slowly. "… she believes she's freezing to death."
The words caught at him as the door closed behind the female doctor. Kaoru… believed she was freezing to death. The power of the mind. An illusion.
He gritted his teeth and forced unnecessary emotions out of his heart. All that mattered at the moment was saving her. His hand faltered as he reached out to stroke her too-pale cheek. All his life he had believed that all he was capable of were death and destruction. During his stay at the dojo, he had made himself stay away from her, believing it to be for the best. He had seen the pain in her deep blue eyes each time he had pushed her away, but it was all he knew. How could he subject her to all the blood and all the killing that was him?
Tears began filling his eyes as he stared at her once-lively form lying motionless. He would give anything just to hear her yell and scream, or even hurl something at him. He just wanted her back.
The hand stilled, his mind made up despite the protests that churned through, before making its way to cup her cheek. His breath hissed out slowly, the icy contact burning his fingers. She was so cold. So damn cold.
Fear, unlike anything he had ever felt, flooded through him. He willed his own warmth towards her. For all the strength she had demonstrated, she was still fragile. It frightened him senseless to see her like this. And yet, her eyes remained tightly shut, lost in whatever had chained her in her mind.
He had to save her.
In a desperate move, he bent forward and wrapped his arms around her. Bringing her close to him, despite the chill that sent goosebumps throughout his body, Kenshin wouldn't let go.
"Come back to me, Kaoru… don't leave. Don't…"
Yet the cold remained, her body an icy barrier against his. Was that what she had encountered every time she had tried to get closer? She had never pried about his past, never made any demands about anything. She had allowed him to stay for free, shown him the generosity of her heart, and all he had ever done was hurt her.
"All you had to do was ask about my past… I… I would never lie to you," he whispered fiercely, hugging her close to him. "Let it go… let the illusion go. It's all in your mind. It's all in your mind. Come back to me… please. I've never asked for anything from you, but this is all I want. I want you back… come back…"
Despite his best intentions, the tears squeezed by, landing on her bare forearm. He thought he felt the faintest of reactions from her as he continued holding her. Stroking her dark locks that had long since escaped the ribbon, he swore to her feverishly, "Always. In Kyoto, when I fought Shisio… all I could think of as I was about to die was that I had made a promise to you. We would go back to Tokyo together. Make me a promise, Kaoru… stay by my side for always. Kaoru… please… listen to me…"
He tightened his arms around her, rocking them both back and forth. "I can't lose you… I don't know what I'd do if I did…" Was that how she had felt when he had left for Kyoto? He could still hear her heartwrenching sobs as he had told her goodbye and how it had nearly killed him not to turn around and comfort her. He had always caused her worry and so much pain, and yet she was always there for him.
He pressed his head against her own, arms a warm protective circle as if warding off anything else.
"I wish… I wish… we could just start over again… forget about my past, and just have our family. You, me, Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Megumi-dono… I'll tell her to stop flirting because I know it upsets you… but you have to know she doesn't matter to me… not in the way you think. It's always been you for me, Kaoru… you have to know that. Open your eyes so I can tell you that damnit!!"
He shook her gently, and it was as if he were shaking a doll. Her head fell forward limply, and guilt ravaged his every sense. "Kaoru…" He closed his eyes against the pain. Iie. Life without her… it wasn't possible. "Aishiteru… wake up… please… wake up," he pleaded desperately, fingers digging into her tender flesh.
He waited with baited breath, hoping against all miracles that she would wake up, open those beautiful dark blue eyes of her and stare at him in wonderment. It had taken him so long to admit what he felt, much less tell her. And now… his proclamation would fall on deaf ears. Rage and sadness consumed his soul, nearly driving his mind to insanity. He clasped her tightly against him again.
"Gomen nasai, Kaoru…" he choked out, the pain unbearable, his voice hoarse with the depths of his pain. "It's all my fault… it's all my fault…"
It was like losing Tomoe all over again, and yet somehow, the wound seemed more deadly this time around. Kaoru had given him reason to live again, and this time with her in his arms, as her mind slowly slipped away from him, there was no blood seeping through his clothes. But it was all the same. He might as well have killed her himself. He had signed Kaoru's death warrant the second he made the decision to stay. How could he have been so selfish?
"Ken-shin… no baka," her voice whispered as every muscle within his body froze at the sound.
Pulling away from her slowly, Kenshin dimly realised that he had been so lost in the depths of his grief that he had failed to notice that her body had gradually warmed up during the course of his heartfelt confessions.
"Kaoru?" he whispered back in disbelief.
"Baka," she croaked as she leaned against his shoulder for strength. Hope, and light invaded every darkened corner within him. He would never be afraid to love again. Not her. For Tomoe, and for Kaoru, he would continue with every breath he had.
Feeling his arms crush her, Kaoru closed her eyes, surrendering herself to the wave of happiness that surged against her and the protective embrace he held her in. ~ I promise to stay by your side for always, Kenshin… ~
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Tenshi's blurb: What's this with me and one word titles?! *shakes head* Anyway, remember… there IS an opportunity for a sequel where I can write a) more Kaoru/Kenshin mush (since this just focused more on Kenshin's emotions) and b) explain the illusion. If I receive enough reviews about it, I'll get started on it!