Disclaimer: If only I owned RK, I'd be such a happy girl!
Tenshi's Notes: I'm completely overwhelmed by the number of reviews for this fic! And as such, I hope I don't disappoint you with what I have planned. As usual, the fic is exploding in my face, and is turning out to be longer than expected. I was hoping to have everything wrapped up by this chapter, and for the first time ever, I am NOT writing ahead, which explains the BAD writing. *sweatdrops* Anyway, once again, if I receive enough feedback, I will continue this series and try my darndest to write a fic to keep everyone's interest!
Dedications: As always, to Angel-chan for being so marvelous and supportive (and encouraging me to get this chapter out despite how bad it is), and being one of the most talented writers I know! She's my inspiration I tell you! And to Au-chan for always reviewing, to my merry band of imoutos and friends who have been nothing but wonderful! And to my reviewers, thank you so very much!! ^_^
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Chapter 2
Kaoru surrendered herself to the strength she found in those arms, and she could still feel the shudders that wracked through his body. Her mind was still fuzzy, as if she had just woken up from some fog that had held her prisoner. She couldn't recall anything beyond that freezing rain.
** Flashback **
She looked upwards, the gray clouds looming ominously above. Then, a loud crack of thunder boomed, the sound making her jump. As if the skies had finally decided to release its heaven burden, the cold droplets of rain began its descent to Earth. It stung her skin, the cold so deep that she felt it in her bones. Her teeth chattered as she had struggled valiantly to make her way back home. It wasn't right. This situation wasn't right.
She realised she was walking but her movements were becoming sluggish. Her yearning to see Kenshin became overwhelming, and as if in a vision, Kenshin had appeared at the bridge. The cold had taken a lot out of her, as had staying upright for so long. She had lost all sense of time, but the briefest glimmer of hope had lit up within her at the sight of him. He was here. He would make it all better, as he always had.
Kaoru could read the fear from his eyes, and could recognize her own need for him. She tried valiantly to convey this but the only words that fell from her mouth was, "Ken-shin... something... is not... right."
After that, she had lost all sense of self and time. She couldn't see or feel anything but that damned cold living in her. Kaoru had no idea how long she remained that way until the soft, almost inaudible voice came.
~ Surrender... give in to it...~
She was startled, and she tried desperately to move her limbs to find the source. The sound had sounded warm, but with lethal undertones.
"Who are you? Where am I?" she cried out.
Laced with steel, the voice continued persuasively. ~ Give in to your heart's fondest wish. You've imagined it often enough. ~
Kaoru shook her head as images of Kenshin and her together crashed against her mind.
"Iie, I can't. He doesn't want me," she said with her head hanging low.
~ Take it one step further. Will it. ~
Images of his face leapt unbidden in her mind: the way he had said goodbye to her in Kyoto, the way he watched her so carefully, and how he had always been there for her no matter what. His gentle voice, combined with his peaceful ways, the juxtaposition of the rurouni and the hitokiri fascinated her, and made her love him all the more. She had seen Battousai living within him. Memories of his fierce battle with Jineh came over her, and his words. He would've killed to protect her. It frightened her yet it warmed her to no end. He cared for her.
It was the first time she had realised she mattered to him. Almost immediately, he had withdrawn into himself again, allowing the rurouni mask to take over. She wanted to be with him, with the man that had been responsible for the new era and the one who now stayed in her dojo.
~ That's right... give in to it, ~ the voice cooed.
"... illusion, Kaoru... wake up..."
The other voice sounded so much like him, except Kenshin would never address herin that way. He would always use the honorific as a way to keep his distance from her. The voice continued, warm and persisting, dragging her from the cold that kept her from feeling anything.
As if a fog had lifted from her mind, Kaoru was suddenly aware of Kenshin's arms still tightly wrapped around her. She blinked, and the fuzzy haze that had enveloped her slowly drifted away.
"Gomen nasai, Kaoru," he whispered, his breath tickling her ear.
Closing her eyes, she could only lift her arms and hold him back tightly in response. The love she felt emanating from his body washed through her in a warm tide, and for once in her life, she allowed herself the luxury of simply feeling. All this hoping, and wishing... they were all coming true for once in her life.
** end Flashback**
And then, the deep shudders hit, striking her full force. The chill, the after-effects, made her body shake uncontrollably. Kenshin's arms only tightened around her in response.
"I won't let you leave me, Kaoru. I won't have it," he promised fiercely.
Soft cries emerged from the depths of her soul, the fear that she had felt when she had thought she would never see him again, or tell him how she felt. When she had just awoken from that cold that had held her prisoner, she had heard all of Kenshin's words, and it was as if her greatest wish was coming true. That for once in her life, she was permitted to be happy. No longer would Kenshin hide behind that mask. And he always kept his promises to her. Always.
**********
Kenshin murmured comforting noises as he gently stroked her hair. He could feel the tremors shaking her fragile body, and he was torn between the urge to comfort or be utterly frustrated over what was happening to her. Her fear was palpable at the moment, and finally, his instinct to protect won.
"Daijoubu, Kaoru... daijoubu. I'm here... shhh..."
The litany of his words did little to calm her, not that he could really blame her. His own mind was trying desperately to find answers to a situation he had never encountered. Could it possibly an old enemy? No one he had ever fought had such an ability to create such a powerful illusion. Witchcraft. It had to be that.
"I'll protect you... nothing will happen... I promise you..."
She clung to him, her fingers gripping his slender shoulders tightly, and he could sense her desperate need to believe in his words. He had never seen her that shaken to her core. Despite her small frame, she had always seemed larger than life, able to conquer anything that came her way. He had always admired that about her, the way she had seemed to embrace life without fear, whereas he had been content to remain in the shadows.
"You... you promise?" she whispered hesitantly, and suddenly, emboldened by some strange urge that had always existed within him, brought out by the fact that he had nearly lost her, he tipped her head upwards so she could see the truth in his eyes.
"Hai de gozaru," he replied.
A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips, and he stared at them, transfixed by how inviting they looked, at how he had always wanted to taste them. He could feel his cheeks reddening from the direction of his thoughts. She needed to feel safe, and not have him behave like an animal.
All sane thoughts fled from his head the very moment he felt her small hand cup his cheek. Gasping, his eyes met her own blue depths, and though her fear was still there, something else was more prominent, more breathtaking. He didn't dare to hope... didn't dare to believe, for this was something he never deserved. The blood of many innocents still dripped from his hands and his sword.
Her thumb grazed the scar slowly, sending the breath he had been holding hissing out. She was wondrous, beautiful, and how he yearned to drown himself in her. She had always given him unconditional love, no matter what he did to her, no matter how many times he made her cry. His heart twinged painfully at that thought. What type of a bastard would make tears fall from those deep blue eyes?
"You always keep your promises to me, Kenshin. I believe in you."
He thought he would explode with happiness at those simple words. Her trust and her faith in him... it would be all he ever needed.
He noted the rosy flush on her cheeks as she shyly laid her cheek against his chest. His heart raced powerfully at the contact.
"I feel safe here... like home. Tadaima, Kenshin."
He squeezed his eyes shut at those words, bringing him back to when he had returned from Kyoto. He didn't know how much he could take at this point. She was everything he ever wanted, and it was killing him that he couldn't say the words he always wanted to say. The faintest of sounds trickled past his ear, and he never heard them for what she said wiped out everything else.
"Aishiteru..." she whispered right before she fell asleep, warm and secure in the haven of his arms.
She loves me, he thought, stunned beyond belief. This wonderful, sweet, feisty, generous and beautiful woman loved him. Silence swept across the room, and he simply stared at her. Again, that sound persisted, niggling the back of his mind.
His instincts were screaming at him. With one arm wrapped protectively around the slumbering woman, his eyes quickly scanned the room. Something was horribly and dreadfully wrong, but how could it possibly happen at a time where it seemed as if all his wishes were coming true?
His body froze at that very thought. An illusion. Kisama. His eyes glowed fiercely amber, and his heart mourned for the loss at the happiness that had seemed so within reach. Pressing a desperate kiss in her hair, he woke up.
**********
His eyes flew open and immediately scanned his surroundings. His first thoughts were of Kaoru, as they always had been since the first day he had met her. How she had been the balm to his ravaged soul, his sunshine. ~ I will never give you up, Kaoru. ~ he promised fiercely.
Kenshin became aware of her presence and he whirled around, hand hovering over the sakabatou as always. To his unimaginable surprise, there was Kaoru, kneeling obediently, eyes shut. There was a look of immense happiness and contentment upon her face. A low growl emerged from his throat as he saw the man behind her.
One arm wound around her shoulders lazily, acting as if he had the right to hold her and touch her that way. The other stroked her hair absently with a look of pure amusement on his face.
Kenshin was fairly certain he would explode with rage. He had no right to touch what was rightfully his. She was his. Golden eyes blazed eerily with unsuppressed rage as he glared at the stranger.
"You're stronger than I expected."
"Who the hell are you?" he demanded. The note of deadly calm behind his voice would've unnerved most of his opponents.
"Saa, this is the infamous Hitokiri Battousai, not the bullshit act you've been putting for your friends the past year, ne?" the man spoke whimsically. The amusement irritated Kenshin to no end.
"Let her go." Kenshin's tone brooked no argument and promised deadly consequences if he wasn't obeyed.
"Think of how upset Kaoru-dono would be if she knew how rude you were." The man deliberately stressed Kenshin's name for the young woman, and his eyes lit up at the spark of fire that leapt in those amber depths.
"Kisama, I will kill you."
He only laughed and tightened his hold around the young woman's shoulders. The look of serenity upon her face never left, and Kenshin's heart began accelerating in fear for her. Desperation the likes he'd never felt before began filling him. He cursed fate and the gods repeatedly, for constantly hurting the only purity in his life. She didn't deserve this.
"You think I went into this without knowing the fearsome abilities of Battousai?" the man mocked openly, sending Kenshin into a deep rage. "Bakayero, this hold I have on her," he paused briefly to press Kaoru's body against his suggestively, "isn't just for show. We're now connected and if you sever this link incorrectly, it would mean not only my death, but also hers."
Kenshin's face paled, his hand trembling imperceptibly over his sakabatou. "Iie, you lie."
"You want the blood of another innocent upon your hands? Or even better, the blood of the woman you love upon that sword?"
He dropped helplessly to his knees, the cruel words striking Kenshin as his opponent had intended. "Why her?" he asked hoarsely, the pain pushing aside the half of him that was hitokiri. "What have I done to you? Leave her alone, and take me."
The other man only laughed. "It's not you I want, Battousai," he replied silkily, "although it would be an accomplishment in itself to finally defeat someone as infamous as you. It's her I want."
Kenshin's head snapped up abruptly to stare at the dark-haired man who held her so possessively. "Nani?"
"She alone has the power to grant me what I want. Immortality."
For once in his life, Kenshin was completely dumbfounded. Powers? Kaoru? Masaka. Surely he would've sensed something earlier. He had known she was strong. He didn't know any other girls her age who could single-handedly run a dojo and emerge victorious from fighting the Juupongatana. Yet, there was another side of her, that possessed all her feminine hopes and dreams. And he was the one who kept shattering them time and time again. What kind of selfish bastard was he? How could he continue this spiral of pain for her?
"I won't let you have her," he vowed.
"You have no choice." Deep green eyes sparkled with fervor before frowning at the young woman in his arms. It didn't make sense. She should be fulfilling her heart's fondest desires at the moment. In her mind, her will had made everything come true. So why weren't her powers at full intensity?
Kaoru continued sleeping, oblivious to the danger that hovered all about her.
~ Kaoru, stay safe. Remain in your dreams where you can stay safe. ~ Kenshin prayed desperately.
**********
In his arms, she felt so safe and protected. She stirred from his embrace, awakening slowly, not wanting to find out this was all a dream. Yet he was next to her, so safe and so solid. His hand brushed a lock of hair away from her face, and pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Konnichi wa, Kaoru."
There was no honorific to push her away. His voice was filled with tenderness, filled with husky overtones. Her eyes fluttered to find him staring intently at her and her heart began beating just a bit faster. His fingers lingered upon her cheek, grazing the skin softly.
"How long have you been awake?" she finally asked when she had found her tongue.
"I couldn't sleep," he murmured. "I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, I was afraid that you would disappear and everything would be a dream."
She moved her hand so she could lace her fingers with the slender ones upon her face. "Me too, Kenshin." She blushed, feeling like she was too bold, and she could hear the laughter rumbling below her ears. The sound warmed her to no end, filling her heart with immeasurable joy.
"I've let fear rule my heart for too long..."
"Baka," she chided fondly, her heart accelerating even further at the sight of the corners of his eyes crinkling. When he smiled like that at her, it was a good thing she was in his arms for she wasn't sure if she could stand.
Bringing their clasped hands down, his expression grew somber. "We need to discuss what happened with the illusion."
She nodded solemnly. "Hai. I remember feeling really strange in the forest, like there was someone watching me. And then, it started raining."
"There was no rain where we were," Kenshin responded with a frown. "Are you positive there was someone else in the forest with you?"
She faltered, doubt entering her mind. She was never one to doubt her intuitions but she had been training herself harder than usual. "Yes, but I'm not really sure. All I really remember is that chill, and how it seemed to soak into me."
"Perhaps it was all an illusion that you created."
She was taken aback. "Why would I do something like that?"
"That I'm not sure, but you have been through a lot, Kaoru." His other hand smoothed the worried-line of her brow. "It's entirely possible that it was all in your mind."
Self-doubt filled her for the first time in her life. "Do you think so?" She nearly winced at the subservient note in her voice. It was as if she had become an onlooker to this girl who was supposedly her, and this man who cared for her so much. If everything had been an illusion, then why did this feel so horribly wrong?
"Shimpai shinai, Kaoru. I will protect you."
A thought struck her without warning. What if... what if this was all an illusion? What if she had never woken up from the initial spell in the first place? She stared at Kenshin blindly, and felt her heart shatter all over again. She was dying inside, the pain consuming her once more. She lifted her other hand to touch the cheek she would never have an opportunity to cup so freely. His purple eyes widened in surprise and a soft smile appeared upon his face. "Ashiteru, Kenshin..." She closed her eyes tightly and the tears squeezed by hotly. ~ Why couldn't you have been real? ~
Then, ignoring the crumbling pieces of her dreams, she woke up.
**********
Kaoru found herself surrounded by cold mists that lingered near the ground. The forest was still there, as if she had never left it in the first place. She missed the warmth of Kenshin's arms around her. ~ Baka, ~ she scolded herself. ~ That was never real. ~ But still, her heart couldn't tell the difference even as her mind told her otherwise. Biting her lip to control the trembling, she brought out her bokken with determination.
Her eyes darted from side to side along the path that looked as if it had been illuminated for her. Even as she knew it would be disastrous to head down upon it, something powerful was calling for her. Her mind screamed that it was a trap though she knew that it was her destiny to follow it. Kenshin, she thought for a brief moment. Would he be at the end waiting for her?
~ Stop depending on him. Fight for yourself. He can't be here every time you need him. ~
Determination filled her every step. She shut out the darkness that threatened her sanity, the grief over losing something she never had, the illusion of happiness that always eluded her. Despite everything she had experienced, she still continued. No matter what may happen, she wanted to go home, so she could be with him. So she could fulfill her promise to him, even if it had been all a figment of her imagination.
Choking back a sob, she wondered about the person behind all this. Why would someone subject her to such heartache? She prayed fervently that it wasn't someone from Kenshin's past. If he ever found out, it would surely kill him, and drive the distance between them even further.
Carefully, she continued upon the path, a choice that had long been selected for her. Kenshin... it was all she ever wanted in life.
A soft gasp escaped her lips as the path finally wound to an end, where Kenshin stood staring at her in disbelief.
"Kaoru-dono?"
Her heart bled at his words, both in joy and in pain. This was the Kenshin she knew. His expression was ultimately adorable, combining confusion and childlike innocence. Her feet seemed to fly over the remaining distance as she threw herself against him. She could feel his surprise as his arms flew out awkwardly upon the impact before closing around her.
"I was so worried, Kaoru-dono."
She finally released the tears that she had locked up inside. It wet the soft magenta of his gi, stinging her cheeks as she sobbed against his chest. She felt him rest his chin on top of her head, the soft breath rustling her hair lightly as he rubbed her back in comfort.
"Daijoubu desu, Kaoru-dono."
"Kenshin... I... I was so afraid..."
The gentle motion continued and she allowed herself to be held. The safety and warmth that only he could make her feel emitted from him, reassuring her of the truth.
"I'm here now... I won't let anything happen to you, ever," he avowed.
To Kaoru's heart, she had finally come home.
To Kenshin's heart, he only hurt even more at the smirk upon the other man's face, and the look of absolute contentment that came over hers.
**********
Tenshi's blurb: Again, lots of confusion with all the illusions, but there *IS* a real one somewhere in there. How will Kenshin save her? Will Tenshi finally give the readers a REAL Kaoru/Kenshin moment, or has it already happened? Who's this enemy who wants what's in Kaoru? Sooooo many questions to be answered, and will only be answered if I receive enough reviews. ;) (How's that for a hint? *giggles*) Ja!