Authors note: Egyptian Rat Screw is a card game much like Rummy. All spelling mistakes are mine due to the fact that Star Office refuses to spell check it.(I can't figure out why)
Feedback is always welcome!
Spoilers: possibly season 8.
Wednesday 2:30 p.m.
Mulder and Scully sat in the hotel room. They had the typical boring bureau type room. They were currently staring at the walls, trying to amuse themselves quietly.
They were currently on an assignment. It was a typical Kersh assignment, having nothing to do with the x files. They were supposed to document a couple that were making fake money. They currently had about 25 hours of video tape that would play a key role in the trial. They had everything documented, filed, and neatly categorized in the standard F.B.I. way.
Scully was currently staring at the finished report. They still had 2 days to get evidence together. They already had enough evidence to put the couple away for at least 20 yrs. Mulder looked over at Scully. He laughed at her expression. She had that aimless stare, while playing with her cross.
"Bored Scully?"
"What did we do to deserve these kind of assignments? Have we pissed Kersh off that much?"
"Yeah, we have. We still have a will to live."
Scully laughed at his comments. Kersh had it in for them, the x-files, everything. Mulder thought Kersh was part of the conspiracy, but Scully thought he was just a grumpy old man who really needed a new target for his aggression. Mulder turned to Scully.
"What do you want to do?"
"Join the circus?"
"The F.B.I. isn't enough of a circus?"
Scully raised an eyebrow.
"I never thought of it that way, but I guess it is in a way."
Mulder smiled.
"Does that make Kersh the ring master or head clown?"
Scully laughed.
"I don't know, but I would love to see him in make up."
"He already wears make up. He dresses up every Friday and Saturday night at the local transvestite club. He is one of the Diana Ross impersonators."
They both laughed at that thought. Scully's expression turned almost scary.
"I bet Langly could doctor up a picture."
Mulder looked at her.
"Don't tempt me. I'd even put it over my 'I want to believe' poster."
"He never comes down there anyway, maybe we should get that."
Mulder laughed.
"I've corrupted Scully."
"I believe you have."
Mulder looked out the window. The pool was perfectly empty.
"Did you bring your swim suit, Scully?"
"Yeah, I did, why?"
"The pool's empty."
Scully looked out the window.
"I can see that."
"Come on, lets swim."
"Mulder, we're supposed to be working."
"We are working, on our back strokes, our tans, come on."
"But...."
"We already have the paperwork done, the evidence is categorized. Lets enjoy ourselves."
"You just want to see me in a swim suit."
"I've seen you naked, this has nothing to do with your body."
Scully tried to object, but it was hard with Mulder giving her his begging little kid look.
"Ok, but only for a about 30 minutes, or else I start to burn."
Mulder smiled, then jumped up and got out his swimming trunks.
"You change in the bathroom, I'll change in here."
They changed, then walked out to the pool. Mulder took off his sandals and put his towel on the back of the lounge chair. He looked over at Scully, who was almost shy about taking off her towel.
"What are you staring at?"
"You . You're taking off your towel like you're nervous about someone seeing you."
"I do have perverts like you to deal with."
"Perverts like me? I represent that remark."
Mulder smiled evilly, then jumped into the water. He made a huge splash, sending a huge wave of warm water towards Scully. She waited until he surfaced, then jumped in right beside him. He was still sputtering when she surfaced. He turned her direction with a look of shock.
"What did you expect?"
Mulder's look of shock changed to an evil grin.
"Ever been dunked, Scully?"
Scully started to distance herself from Mulder.
"Don't even think about it, Mulder! I can still dunk Bill."
Mulder swam towards her as he said "And that means what to me?"
She decided she wouldn't win if she was defense. She smiled as she moved toward Mulder. She was going to be the offense. It was Mulder's turn to drown.
"It means you're going to drown."
She closed the remaining distance between them, then grabbed Mulder. She wrapped her legs around his, pinning his arms with hers. Mulder tried to fight back, but he still went under. Scully let him go, trying to swim away from him. She made it to the 5 ft mark before he caught her. Mulder grabbed her waist.
"Pay back time!"
"Mulder no!"
He pulled her under, then let her go. Mulder laughed when she came up.
"Who dunked who now?"
"I dunked you first."
"I let you!"
"Liar. I dunked the famous Spooky Mulder!"
Mulder laughed.
"Well, for your information, you are known as Spooky Scully."
"Since when?"
"Since you have stayed with me and the X-files."
Scully smiled. She could handle the name. She had descent cases to work on, not boring drug traffickers, or crap that Kersh wanted them to do. She looked at Mulder, then splashed him.
"Race ya!"
They played for about 20 minutes, enjoying the water and the each other. A noisy group of children came toward the pool with two women. Mulder and Scully climbed out, letting the kids have the pool. They decided to soak up some of the suns' rays. They watched as the youngest child, a 3 yr old girl, learned how to swim. Mulder looked over at Scully. She was lazily watching the little girl swim from the ladder to her mother.
"What are you thinking about?"
Scully looked over at Mulder.
"I am just remembering how I learned to swim."
"How was that?"
"Missy took me out in deeper water and told me to paddle."
"That's how I taught Sam to swim."
"You older siblings are sadistic."
"What about your brother? How did you teach him to swim?"
Scully blushed.
"He could still touch the bottom."
"Right, admit it, you are just as bad as Missy and I."
"Ok, but Missy was worse with me than I was with Bill."
"How do you think us older siblings survive?"
"By killing off the younger sibling?"
Scully watched Mulder's face to be sure he didn't take the comment the wrong way. He had lost Sam. She had tried to make him realize it wasn't his fault. He seemed to be taking it ok.
"Haven't you seen the Adams Family?"
Scully rolled her eyes.
"Did you ever get in trouble?"
Mulder smiled as he remembered some of the stuff he and Sam got in trouble for doing.
"Never, I held my halo with my horns."
"Me too. I may be small, but I'm mean."
"I know, do I ever know."
Scully hit Mulder's shoulder.
"Ouch! Be nice to me, or I'll tell Kersh."
"He'd give me a metal if somehow you just disappeared."
"I know, but you would continue the X-files, right?"
"The very same way we do now. I'd hide them in a normal looking case."
"I've taught you well."
They smiled at each other, then turned to watch the kids again. There were 6 of them, with 2 adults. The oldest looked about 13, while the youngest looked about 3. Scully shook her head at the thought. One day she wanted kids, but not 6 of them. She thought it had been bad with just 3 siblings.
Mulder watched Scully as she watched the kids. He wondered what she thought about the kids. He wondered if either one of them would ever have children. He knew their work took up all their time. Neither he nor Scully had much of a social life because of the X files. There were times when he wanted to come home to a wife and kids, but until he could find a person that could put up with his obsession and moods, he'd just keep his fish. He smiled as he realized that Scully was the only female that shared any of his interests. He almost laughed at the thought of he and Scully married with several kids. He could almost hear the kids calling Langly, Byrers, and Frohike uncle.
Scully was starting to get slightly red. She moved the strap on her swim suit. She definitely needed to go in.
"Mulder, lets go in. I'm going to burn if I don't."
"I thought water killed witches, not the sun."
Scully glared at him.
Mulder grabbed her hand, squeezing it.
"I'm kidding, you know that. I'd never be that mean." He said with that kicked puppy expression.
She tried to keep her glare, but his expression made her smile.
"You'd better be nice to me."
"I will, I promise. Do you want to go out to eat?"
"Sure, where did you want to go?"
"I don't care. How does the Brass Lantern sound to you?"
"Sounds great." Scully picked up Mulder's watch. "It's 5 now, lets go before they have a waiting list."
Mulder nodded, putting on his sandals.
"I get the shower first." said Scully.
Mulder smiled, then winked at her as they walked back to the room. Scully rolled her eyes.
"No you can't join me."
"You're no fun."
"That's how I earned my nickname, The Ice Queen."
Mulder smiled softly at her.
"You're not an ice queen, your my Scully."
Scully actually blushed at his comment.
They got ready for dinner. Scully showered first, then put on her make up as Mulder showered. Mulder walked out of the bathroom, picked her brush up, then arranged his hair. He walked over to his suit case and found a pair of socks. He looked around the room, walked between the beds, searching for his shoes. Scully laughed at him. He always hid his shoes from himself.
"They're under your bed."
He moved the cover aside, seeing where he left them.
"How do you know what I'm looking for and where I left it?"
She smiled.
"It's a woman thing, plus you always hid stuff from yourself in three places."
"I do?" Mulder said with a wondering little kid look.
"Your shoes are either under the bed, the couch, or in the kitchen."
Mulder's eyes grew. "That's spooky."
Scully just laughed.
"Lets go."
They walked to the restaurant. They laughed and enjoyed the meal. It wasn't normal to get a descent meal with their line of work. As they left, Mulder turned to Scully.
"Want to go shopping?"
Scully looked shocked.
"You are volunteering to go shopping with a woman?"
"Yeah, I am. You're not that bad to go shopping with."
"How am I not that bad to go shopping with?"
"You've never been shopping with my mother. She has to look at everything the store has in it. I hated going to Wal-Mart with her."
Scully laughed at the comment. She knew why her father always found something else to do when she, mom, and Missy went shopping.
"You should try shopping with my mother and my sister."
"Trapped with female 3 Scully's?"
"My brothers still cringe at the thought."
Mulder laughed at the thought. They walked in some stores, looking at the stuff that interested them. They went into a bath supply boutique. Scully found some bath salts and perfumed soaps. Mulder picked up some candles for his mother. She loved the lavender flower scented kind. Scully walked over to him.
"Do you think we should get Kersh anything?"
Mulder led her over to a painted shelf. He picked up a box with 'Virgin/Slut
soap.'
"How about this?"
"I'd love to see his face."
"My evil Scully, how I've perverted you."
Scully laughed.
"Mulder, I've been this way for a long time, no one ever sees it."
She smiled at his amused expression as she walked back toward the perfumes. Mulder kept the soap. It would make a great present for Scully's birthday. He walked up to the cashier and paid for his items. He made sure Scully couldn't see what he'd bought.
Scully paid for her items, then met Mulder at the door. They walked down the street, relaxing for the first time in months. Scully looked at her watch. It was 9:30.
"Ready to go back?"
"Sure, we can almost finish the expenditure report."
"Don't remind me. When I retire, I'm going to burn every duplicate and triplicate form I can find."
Mulder smiled at the comment. The nice thing about the F.B.I. was the millions of forms that had to be filled out, then shredded.
"Do you want to go out to eat for breakfast tomorrow, or just get donuts?"
"I don't care, but I did see a place that had wonderful smelling donuts."
"Ok, lets see what they have."
Mulder led her back to the shop. The sweet smell was very inviting. Scully walked in first. Mulder looked at the selection, deciding to try 3 different types.
"What kind do you want, Scully?"
"I can't decide between the glazed and the powder."
Mulder smiled at her, then got the attention of the clerk.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, could I have 2 glazed, 2 powder, and 2 cinnamon, please?"
The clerk bagged them up, Mulder paid with the F.B.I.'s credit card. Scully looked at the bag of donuts as they walked out.
"Do we really need 6 doughnuts?"
"Of course, they have the best donuts around."
Scully laughed as she figured out where he had gone the second day of the trip.
"You got bored and talked to the local police, didn't you."
Mulder suddenly found his shoes very interesting.
"Well, yeah, maybe. We are supposed to interact with the local law enforcement to make sure things go smoothly."
Scully laughed at his attempt to quote policy.
"Let's get back, before I fall down laughing."
Mulder decided to take a different approach on the conversation.
"Be nice to me, or you get to find your own breakfast."
Scully smiled, coyly batting her eyes.
"You wouldn't deny me breakfast, would you?" she said in her most innocent voice.
Mulder tried not to react to her antics, but failed. He was able to save some face.
"That may work on other guys, but I know the real you. There may be an angel exterior, but your halo isn't being held up by much."
She smiled, knowing she had gotten to him. She loved to mess with his head. She took his hand in hers, leading him back to the hotel. They held hands until they reached the hotel. Mulder unlocked the door.
They kicked off their shoes, then turned the TV on. It was currently on CMT, with the Dixie Chicks 'Without you' video playing. The song wasn't half bad. Commercials came on after that, so Mulder changed the channel. They channel surfed for about 20 minutes, finally settling on Comedy Central. They watched South Park. Scully couldn't see what Mulder liked about it.
"Why do you like this?"
Mulder looked up, he was half asleep.
"I like the fact that I don't have to actively pay attention to what's going on. It helps me get to sleep."
Scully shook her head. The show had very little imagination, creativity, or even moral value.
"So you like the stupidity of it?"
"You got it. I know, you probably think it's a waste of air time, but I like it. It doesn't promise to have great animation or integrity. It's just something to relax my paranoid brain."
Scully had to smile at his explanation.
"So your saying that it lets your brain vegetate?"
"Yup. It is more intelligent than some of the sitcoms. I can't stand to sit and watch those."
"You don't like Darma and Greg?"
"No, I'd rather be probed by aliens with dull instruments."
Scully laughed. She didn't really care either way about the show. She very rarely got to watch TV.
"Ready for bed?"
"Yeah, I'll get my pajamas on."
Mulder walked to his suitcase, got his stuff out, then walked to the bathroom. He walked out several minutes later, then climbed into bed. Scully changed while he watched the rest of the show. She walked out of the bathroom quietly. Mulder was already asleep. She shut off the TV, then crawled into her own bed.
Scully's body started to twitch as she entered REM sleep. She even managed to tangle herself in the covers.
She was walking around her mother's house. She looked around, then down at her feet. She couldn't see them, due to the fact that her abdomen was very large and rounded. She was at least 7 months pregnant. She unbelievingly touched her stomach. It felt real enough. She heard someone come up behind her.
"Now Dana, honey, please sit down, you're making me a nervous wreck. " said her mom.
"Oh, mom, let her walk. She's not going to give birth right now." Missy said tiredly.
Scully smiled at her sister. She was about to ask how she had gotten pregnant, when she saw Bill and Mulder playing cards at the kitchen table. They appeared to be playing Egyptian Rat Screw. Mulder and Bill both looked up at her, smiling.
"Has Mom driven you nuts yet?"
Scully shook her head no. Mulder just laughed. Scully wandered into the living room. Skinner and the Lone Gunmen were watching a game on TV. Langly offered her a seat by him. She sat down, trying to figure out what was going on.
The dream continued to weave it's way through her brain. It picked up bits and pieces of memory and fantasy. Scully finally woke herself up. She often did that when dreams defied logic.
She managed to detangle herself from the covers without falling on the floor. She looked at the clock. It was already 9. The coffee maker had turned on at 8:30. She looked over at Mulder. He was still oblivious to the world. She decided to watch him sleep. He looked so innocent sleeping. He didn't have that cynical or jaded look. She laughed as he muttered in his sleep. He was currently saying something about videos.
He slept until about 9:30. He woke up, his eyes searching until he found her.
"Morning Sleepy head."
"How long have you been watching me?"
Scully smiled, this was going to be fun.
"Long enough. You really do have exotic dreams."
Mulder looked at her, trying to remember exactly what he had dreamed about.
"I didn't have any exotic dream, I was dreaming about the Lone Gunmen."
Scully raised an eyebrow. Mulder realized what he'd implied.
"Not like that."
"Sure thing, Mulder. Want some coffee?"
"Sure, want to eat on my bed or yours?"
"Yours, I don't want crumbs on mine."
Mulder laughed as Scully brought over the coffee and donuts.
"How did you sleep?"
"Not bad, I did have the strangest dream."
"Really? Tell me about it."
She told him, while eating a glazed donut.
"You are right, that is freaky."
"What do you want to do today?"
"I don't know. Do you want to walk around some more? The only thing we have left to finish is the expenditure report."
"I wouldn't mind walking around and shopping."
Mulder smiled.
"Where is the Scully that thought we should be working?"
"She is going to enjoy herself."
Mulder laughed.
"We'd better get ready then, before it gets too hot outside."
"Ok."
With that, they got ready and enjoyed the rest of the day. The F.B.I. could wait for one day.
end