By Gray, For BJ

Welcome once again to the hell that is my life. I hope you enjoy your trip. Please watch your step…

I finally decided to head back to Ikkoku, I couldn't very well freeze to death could I? Although that didn't sound too bad… I angrily shook my head and started walking towards Ikkoku. I no longer thought of it as home though. Home was a place where you felt warm, safe, and happy. That place was anything but… especially now. I sighed and walked faster to escape the chill of the winter night. As I walked, I passed the cemetery again. I stood at the entrance for a few minutes and just sort of stared at it. That's when I felt it. Snow, it had begun to snow. I smiled slightly. I always hated rain, but snow was something I liked. Why you might ask? I'm actually not really sure. Maybe it was just because it was pretty, or maybe it was because it represented winter. Winter was when she came… Like an Angel in my darkest hour she appeared. Giving me encouragement, and inspiring me to pass my exams and finally, finally get into college. Helping me prove that I could do it, and believing in me when no one else did…

"So where are you now, my angel?" I questioned out loud.

"Have you truly abandoned me now, in my darkest hour of all?" I admit I sounded sort of cheesy, but I was tired, and depressed, and I was not exactly thinking clearly. I bowed my head, and continued walking. It kept snowing. That's when I realized that it was the anniversary of when she first came to Maison Ikkoku. I chuckled with no mirth at all.

"Heh, that's so funny. How ironic… At the same time of year that I first found love and a chance of happiness, it is cruelly snatched away from me…" I sighed again, something that was becoming a habit, and kept walking, though it was slower now. The cold doesn't really bother you when it's warm compared to the cold inside you. I kept walking, lost in the sweet world of memory. Remembering all the good times, and the far larger amount of bad ones. Still, I would give anything to make everything as it was. They say that change and unhappiness come hand in hand, but why so soon? And why always to me? These thoughts dominated my mind as I made my way towards Maison Ikkoku, and my fate.

I took off my shoes and laid them haphazardly by the door, and headed upstairs. Before that though, I slipped the money Kyoko left for the tea under her door. I went into my room, noting that the window was still cracked, and not really caring frankly. I went into my room, once again noting that Yotsuya was not present. I slipped into sleep with some difficulty that night, but I did not cry at least.

The next few days went by fairly quickly actually. They didn't have a party for the manager's anniversary this year. Probably too busy thinking of the wedding to worry about that. It seemed I was the only one who remembered. I avoided everyone as best I could. Kyo… the manager was particularly easy to avoid, as she seemed to always be gone. She no longer swept every time I was leaving. That in particular seemed to signify the end of it all. It hurt, but I kept all the pain inside. I had become a sort of emotionless doll, even Yotsuya commented on my state.

"Young Godai, you seem to have lost all sense of life…" I ignored him of course, even though he was right. But what was I supposed to say? I've lost all sense of life, because Kyoko was my life! And now, I've lost her… Anyway, it was the day before today, and I was heading to Ikkoku after another day of trying to find a part-time job. It seemed nothing would go my way. That's when I bumped into them.

"Oh, Yusaku! Are you alright?" It was her… with him… Like I said, nothing would go my way. I got up, ignoring Mitaka's offered hand, and dusted myself off from bumping into him. He still had that annoying gleam to his teeth, and it was going full blast now. I ignored it and turned to leave.

"Sorry, my fault…" I muttered as I continued towards Ikkoku.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Her worried voice asked from behind me. Okay… Okay! How could she ask me that! I was ready to jump off a damn bridge, and she asks if I'm okay! I admit I don't think she was asking about my emotional state, but it still made me mad, and when I get mad, I don't always act rationally. I muttered another yes, though inwardly I was seething. They followed me and I assumed that they were heading back to Ikkoku, so I made it a point to walk fast. I could feel him smirking at my back, and I wanted to make him suffer for it.

"Hey Godai! Are you coming to the wedding? It's the day after tomorrow you know!" If I was angry before, I was ready to kill now. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists. I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face so bad… I wanted to beat his teeth so far in that they would be sparkling in his damn throat. But I just kept walking. I could tell he was baiting me. The bastard, he knew he had won; now he just had to rub it in. Make it hurt even more. I wouldn't have done that. I actually would have felt sympathy had our situations been reversed, but I guess that's the one thing I have that he doesn't: kindness. But I guess Kyoko doesn't want kindness… Finally we reached Ikkoku, and I was ready to go up to my room as quickly as possible, when he just had to do it again.

"So Godai, I never did get your answer…" I clenched my fist again, and spoke without turning around.

"Un-unfortunately, I, I won't be co-coming…" It was difficult to speak when I was that mad, but I managed okay. I almost heard him smirk.

"Really? That's too bad. I was hoping you would come, it just won't be as good without you there…" I turned and gave him a cold glare. He just smirked back at me, while Kyoko, whom he had his arm around, looked rather uncomfortable. I bowed my head slightly, and my bangs obscured my eyes somewhat.

"Just leave me alone…" I said in a low voice. His smirk grew wider.

"Whatever do you mean Godai? You and I are such good friends! I could never leave you alone! And besides, I want you to know that I'll take good care of Kyoko… So don't worry. I'll do a much better job than anyone else, especially some destitute student…" I clenched my eyes shut and fought the urge to fight back. I noticed that the various tenants had gathered to watch; they never could resist a free show I thought sarcastically. He continued on.

"I think Kyoko made the right choice, don't you Godai?" My eyes snapped open, and before I even knew it my fist went flying towards his face. Everyone stared wide-eyed as my fist hit the arrogant coach, and sent him to the ground. It hurt a bit, but it felt pretty good too. I was as shocked as anyone, but in a way I was glad. It felt nice to prove that I wasn't just a spineless wimp to be pushed around, that I could fight back. Mitaka got up and glared, and I noted a large bruise was forming on his face. Everyone was still shocked when he launched a fist of his own at me. It's funny how you seem to do everything right when you don't care anymore. Now that I didn't care about anything, I was a lot less klutzy and idiotic. I saw his fist come at me almost in slow motion, and I sidestepped to avoid it. It was kind of funny seeing him overextend himself and fall flat on his face. I don't know why I was able to dodge that, maybe it was just luck, but I wasn't complaining. I stared with cold eyes at his beaten form and then turned to go inside.

"Get back here Godai, it isn't over." I turned to him and kept my face emotionless.

"Yes, it is over…" I then turned and went up to my room.

"Who knew the kid had it in him?" Akemi said as I entered the door. Kyoko was still shocked. I guess everyone was a little surprised that the silly, dopey student beat up the hunky tennis coach. I could care less. I went up to my room, and turned in early for bed. I was still awake when I heard a knock on my door. I was surprised when I saw the three crazies behind it. Ichinose had a bottle of sake and Akemi had several beers. I bade them enter without a word. For once I wanted them to party in my room. At least it would help me forget… Oddly enough they simply drank in silence, and offered me a beer. I took it wordlessly and an uncomfortable silence ensued. Finally, Yotsuya broke it.

"Young Godai, I will not beat about the bush. We came here for one express purpose, and one only. To ask why you have just given up so easily when you used to fight so hard." I sighed and wondered why they cared so much. Particularly since they were the reason that many of my opportunities to woo her had ended in failure. I decided to humor them though.

"I used to fight hard, you're right. But now I know I never had a chance in the first place. You were all right in the end. Heh, funny isn't it." Yotsuya seemed unabashed.

"But what makes you so sure you never had a chance. Do you not love her with all your heart?" I nodded, and took a sip of beer. Akemi spoke up.

"Look, Yusaku…" I was amazed. This was the first time in recent memory she had called me by my name.

"This may seem weird coming from me, but I always believed that if two people truly loved each other, then well, everything would be alright…" I sighed sadly.

"I used to think the same thing, but I know better now. Besides, she doesn't love me." Mrs. Ichinose took a drag of her cigarette and spoke next.

"How can you be so sure kid? I know her pretty well, and I've watched her, and I'm convinced that she does love you… She just won't admit it, even to herself." I chuckled humorlessly.

"Yeah right, I'm not falling for that one…" They all sighed.

"Look Yusaku, I always treated ya bad, and I know this is weird, but well, I was always jealous of Kyoko… I mean, to have such devotion from a guy, it must be nice." Everyone, including myself, listened to her in shock.

" You would do anything for her, and you were always so nice to me, even though I made your life hell sometimes." She smiled slightly.

" That's rare to find in a guy these days, I really do envy her…" I was shocked that Akemi of all people was jealous of Kyoko for having me love her. Everyone got up and turned to leave, but Yotsuya had one more thing to say.

"Young Godai, I may not have shown it, but I always respected the way you persevered and fought for your dreams, despite everything that was thrown at you. It takes an enormous amount of willpower to do that. That's why it saddens me so much that you would simply give up after all that…" With that said, they all left, and I was left to do some heavy thinking once more.

Author's notes: Well, It's starting to head towards a happy ending… I will probably continue this very soon. Oh yeah, and as for the time period of this fic. It takes place a little before Nozomu moves into Maison Ikkoku, but a ways after Kyoko and Yusaku kiss when she falls off the stepladder. Anyway, please review! Please!