A Heartbroken Angel

by itsalltalk

This is a oneshot written for Varie Fanel. It's about her feelings after Goau dies and Folken goes to slay the dragon.

A Heartbroken Angel

by Writer Otaku

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne. I don't any of the characters.

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"Mother, don't leave me," Van begged, tears in his eyes, "Mother! Please!" He pulled at Varie's robes, pleading with her to stay. "You can't leave like Father and Oniichan!"

So empty. Varie felt so empty. Her heart was torn from her body, but she still had a piece of her existence left. Her youngest son Van was still there. He was so innocent, and he resembled Folken a little, but his hair was jet black like hers. "Van, I won't leave you until you've grown and you're old enough to rule by yourself."

"Really, Mother?" Van laughed. He was so innocent. He climbed onto her lap. "I'll be a great ruler. But I won't kill the dragon. Killing dragons is mean, yes Mother?"

"Yes, Van. I'll be here." She gently raked her fingers through his mess of hair. She loved her youngest son dearly, but she knew her time would come soon. She knew she shouldn't be making Van empty promises, but he would forget in time. She brushed a bang out of his eyes. "You're strength comes from your heart."

"Folken told me that," Van said proudly. He saddened, "Is that why you're so sad Mother? Because Folken left and he didn't come back?"

"Yes."

"But Folken is coming back! He promised me he would."

"Oh, Van. You need to take a nap now."

"Mother..."

"Come." She took one of his hands in hers and led him to her bed chamber.

"I can sleep with you Mother?"

"Yes, Van, you can sleep with me."

Varie watched her son take small breaths. He was so innocent, so young. She wished she didn't have to leave him so soon, but her fate was sealed. Her emotions had chosen an ill-fated destiny for herself, and now she wouldn't be able to watch Van grow as she did Folken. You will be able to watch Van grow, Varie scolded herself, just not by his side as you should be. She sat on the bed, trying to imagine an older, wiser Van. She failed.

She slowly lay down on the bed, thinking about what had left her and what was still to come. Van wouldn't be so innocent as he grew, probably holding grudges against his family. He was growing up different from the gentle-hearted Folken, but he would shy away from bloodlust and war. This would be the soft-hearted warrior the legends of the Draconian told about. "Your young shoulders will be weighted with sorrow, dear, dear Van," she murmured.

She remembered when she gave birth to Folken, and then 12 years later, Van. Then when Goau died Folken went to complete the Rite of Dragon Slaying. The memories came back swiftly and violently, the feelings conjuring themselves up as if it had been that day. Varie remembered how heartbroken she was, and continued to be. The sadness weighted her heart and the hopelessness tore at her soul. And yet they all had to remain intact for her remaining son Van.

Varie walked out into the hallway of the Fanelian castle. So much ghosts wandered the halls, not literally, but enough so that the Draconian had to choke back tears whenever she walked them. "Oh Goau, Folken, how I long to join you both," she whispered.

"Speaking to yourself is hardly agreeable, Lady Varie." A warm hand reached for her shoulder. She turned to see Balgus, the master swordsman that worked so hard for Goau.

"Balgus! I've been looking for you," she murmured. Balgus's heart went out to her. She walked with a heartbroken aura now, that only the young Prince Van failed to see. Her words were empty and her eyes reflected only grief. "When I... leave, please watch over Van so he doesn't reach the same fate as us."

"Don't speak like that, Lady Varie. You'll leave long after Van is grown."

"Oh, Balgus, you know as much as I do that I won't be here forever. I'm leaving soon. Please, Balgus, promise me!"

"Yes, Lady Varie, I promise I will watch over Prince Van."

"Thank you." She walked away, but Balgus lay a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"You shouldn't be sealing your fate so quickly."

"My fate was sealed the moment Folken left and never returned."

"It hurts to see Van so confident that Folken will return, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

She sat on a chair by a window that overlooked the Fanelian Royalty's graveyard. Somewhere Folken would never lay. I have to find, Folken, Varie thought, so sure of herself. No, you can't abandon Van for your own greedy needs. "Mother?" a young voice yawned sleepily. Van climbed onto her lap and hugged her.

"Van, you're up already?"

"I had a nightmare that you left me forever."

"Oh, Van..."

"But you promised, right?"

"Yes, Van, I promised."

A month later, the night was lonelier than the last had been. Varie expired to the graveyard where she talked to Goau. "I need to search for Folken. I'm dying Goau. I'm dying." As proof, she let her wings spread in the back of her. What once had been majestic snowy wings were now the color of ebony. Quickly she folded them back in before anyone besides her beloved Goau saw.

A whisper on the wind seemed to say, "I cannot stop you, but what about Van?"

Varie bit her lip. "I love him, but I refuse to let him see me die. If I leave now his memories will not be of my own a death bed."

Guilt crept into her soul, where she thought there was no more room. Now her heart was a flurry of heavy weighted feelings, having little space for the love she felt for her youngest son. It was the only light that burned in her heart, but she needed to leave, she needed to see if Folken really abandoned his country. "I'm leaving Goau."

She walked into the woods, afraid that if she tried to fly she would surely hurt herself. The woods were full of dragons that could have killed Folken. "Where are you?" she murmured.

The dragons gathered around her, eyeing her as if she was there to kill them, but she made no move, and neither did they. She wandered closer to one, one that seemed special somehow. "You were the one my son battled." As if to confirm this the dragon stared straight into the Varie's eyes. "Did you kill him?" This seemed to anger the dragons and they began to attack. Now she would be able to join Folken and Goau... Goodbye, Van...

A young Van turned in his sleep. He then got up, wide awake. Tears flowed freely down his face. "NO! MOTHER! YOU PROMISED!" he yelled. No one was to remember this incident with Van in his later years. No one told him that he had screamed into the night. No one would tell him that his mother prophesized her death. He would only remember the promise she had broken so soon after she made it.

The End