The Voices In Your Head: Can The Rules Be Changed?
Author: snoflaik
Disclaimer: Own nothing. . . but would enjoy ownin Tristan [hehehe ;)]
Authors Note: Yes my friends
another part to the story. By the way,
Angel05, yes Dean and Rory are together and dating right now.
Thanx for all the great comments all you nice reviewers
made about my story. You sure know how to make a girl feel loved. Well enough
of that and onto
the story. . . .
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Rory opened her eyes and looked around the room as she sat up and stretched. Her head was still pounding but at least the room had stopped spinning. A great improvement She vaguely remembered someone being here before she fell asleep but couldn't quite remember who it was. It all came back as she saw Tristan in the chair with the book still opened spread across his stomach. He was breathing softly and had a slight smile on his face. Rory took this opportunity to admire and muse about their relationship and his personality while he was asleep and couldn't contradict any good feelings she had left about him.
* Now why can't be the boy be as much of an angel while he's awake as he looks when he's asleep. But, no, the arrogant conceited male rears its ugly head whenever we try and talk to each other.* she mused while watching him sleep.
*Now that conversation we had the car wasn't bad at all. He was intelligent and witty without a hint of his usually annoying names and arrogant presumptions. Why can't we talk like that all the time? Because you told him that you hate him. Ah the voice comes again. I thought you only talked when I was sick. No I'm here all the time I just don't always chose to make my presence known to you. Well then why now oh great and powerful Oz? Take back the attitude missy. You're missing one very important aspect of this young creature that you see here before you. What that he enjoys torturing me? Oh you know you love it Quit lyin' to yourself. You, my friend, are in denial. Denial of what? Look at his actions and listen to his words. All will become clear in time. But for now cut him some slack. He did a good thing today. Learn about the real Tristan before you make your judgment on his character. Hate is a very strong word and speaking it when you don't really mean it can have dire consequences. So why would he care if I said it? Nothing else I've said has ever seemed to faze him. Have you not listened to anything I've said? The answers lie in him. I'm in your head. I don't know everything. Can you stop with the lecturing soon? My head's starting to hurt again.*
Tristan woke up slowly, opening his eyes to find Rory sitting up and seemingly staring right at him. Her face however was totally blank.
"Rory? You all right?" He asked when she didn't seem to even blink.
She shook her head as to clear it and looked at him.
"Excuse me but did you say something?"
"Yeah I just called out your name. You looked like you totally spaced out."
"Just thinking about some things. I've noticed that being sick gives you lots of time for reflection."
"Noted."
"That having been said, What are you doing here?"
Tristan gave her his isn't-it-obvious-look and replied, "You sick, me take you home, you fall asleep.
"Thanks Tarzan. Now what are you still doing here?" she asked folding her arms across herself.
"Your mom left a note saying that she wasn't gonna be home till tomorrow. You were pretty out of it earlier so I figured that I had better stay just in case it got worse."
"Sure you did." Said Rory with her eyebrows raised.
"What?" asked Tristan with an innocent expression. "I guess that it is too much to get a thank you for all my hard work. Ill just do it myself." He stood up in front of the couch and turned to the side. "Thank You Tristan for carrying me to the nurse's office, for taking me home, for staying with me so that I wouldn't be all alone with my head splitting migraines. " He then took a step and turned the other way. "Oh your very welcome Rory. It was least that I could do since you could barely walk." He walked back over to the chair and sat down and smiled widely at Rory. "There."
Rory tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably and ended up breaking down in laughter. She buried her face in her hands as she laughed. Tristan just sat there with an amused expression on his lips.
"Oww oww this laughing is making my head hurt even more. Ohh thanks Tristan I really needed that."
"Quite welcome, I'm glad that I amuse you." He replied.
"Now did you say that my mom wasn't going to be home for a bit or was that one of my delusion ravings. "
"You mean besides that raving that had you calling out my name in your sleep," replied Tristan with a smirk. He continued as his comment was met with a glare. "She left a note on the refrigerator saying that she had to go to Philadelphia and wouldn't be home till tomorrow afternoon."
Rory nodded at his statement and was once again lost in thought dwelling on Why in God's name he would help her and stay with her all this time.
"Why?"
"Do I look like I know why your mom would have to go?"
"No I mean why did you help me and all that."
"Concerned citizen."
"Hmmm. . . " replied Rory looking at him trying to tell if that was really why. She couldn't read his expression; it was completely blank. And his eyes were guarded. But she knew something was up.
"Congratulations."
"For what?" replied Tristan
"You have just won the 'best cover up of a hidden agenda' award.
"Well thank you. What's my prize?" asked Tristan suggestively.
"Your crown will arrive in 4 – 6 weeks."
"ohh, ohh, Do I get to cry uncontrollably and wave while I wear it?"
"Only if I can take pictures," replied Rory with a wide smile.
"Deal," answered Tristan smiling back.
Rory reflected once again on how their conversation was strangely civil and non-offensive as well as amusing. She decided to risk it and ask the question that had been plaguing her.
"Ok. My head still hurts but I'm going to go for it and ask you something. Why can't we talk like this all the time?"
"Talk like what?" asked Tristan confused.
"Like we're actually friends. Like we don't want to annoy and hurt one another."
"I'll answer that for you on one condition."
"Okay." answered Rory, suspicious.
"An answer for an answer."
She nodded in acquiescence. "You first."
"Granted. Why do I act the way I do around you Rory?" mused Tristan as he sat back and tried to think. "Well I guess it can all be traced to the First Grade Sandbox Theorem."
"The First Grade Sandbox Theorem?"
"Exactly, first and second is where you first notice the opposite sex. Now there are no hormones present or any other things. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend consists of kissing on the cheek. This is before girls and boys get cooties in third and fourth grade. Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself. Lets go back to how to get this boyfriend or girlfriend. Now being a member of the male sex I can only speak on that which I know. That all having been said, let's get to the sandbox. In order to show a girl you like them, you bug the hell out of them in many ways while in school or what have you. And that includes throwing sand at them or somehow managing to get it in their hair or something. Its goes right along with the Hair Pulling Axiom."
"So you're basically saying that you, in accordance with the whole male species, are not more mature than you were in first grade," replied Rory.
"I guess you could look at it that way although I believe it to be more of a regression. And only in the area of relations between boys and girls."
"I see," said Rory. *Moral of the story: annoy the one you like. * "So your also now telling me that you like me right? Is that what this is all about?"
"Pretty much. But I must say that I used to like you."
"Used to as in previously, beforehand and not anymore?"
"Precisely," replied Tristan with a nod of his head. "Yeah I
stopped liking you by Christmas." He added with a mischievous smile. *Let
her think on that one for a while. *
"Ok well then." Rory sat in silence while trying to comprehend what he had just admitted so easily. It was totally and uncharacteristically Tristan to just go and lay it out there. There must be something that she's missing. Suddenly it came to her, " But wait, then why do you still torture me now?"
Tristan smiled at how naïve she was. He was incredibly surprised she had not figured it out for herself by now. I mean could the boy give any more clues. He, however, was not ready to let this conversation get any farther. To give her his heart and then to have it refused was not the type of pain that Tristan was too keen on feeling at the moment. Of course he did realize that she already had his heart. She just didn't know it yet.
"uh uh uh, That would be question number two and the conditions previously stipulated upon said one answer. Now I believe that I just answered your question. And answered it quite eloquently if I do say so. Time to answer mine."
"Oh lord, I'm now scared."
"Oh be afraid. Be very afraid." joked Tristan with a smile. He thought for a few moments and knew what he wanted to know. This question and what the answer might possibly be had been lurking in the back of his mind since that fateful day. But now sitting with Rory in such a cozy room all alone, his courage failed. He couldn't ask what he desperately wanted to know because of what he knew the answer was going to be. He shook of his feelings of insecurity and plastered a smile onto his face.
"Well there's one thing that I want to know but I'm gonna wait to ask it."
Rory had been watching him once again during his little moment of thought. She saw many things go through his face including despair, fear, pain and uncertainty and wondered what on earth he could have to ask her that would cause the Great Tristan DuGrey, who exhumed confidence, to be having such feelings. That plastered smile heightened her suspicion even further. *Hmmm . . . my little voice must be right. He must have an almost completely different personality than the one that he shows most often to everyone. * Her suspicions made her realize that also deep down inside she desperately wanted to know the real Tristan.
"Keeping me on my toes, eh?"
"Always," replied Tristan with his characteristic smirk. "Well now that we've got that squared away, how are you feeling?"
"Better. The dizziness has faded to lightheadedness but the headaches still there."
"I know that you probably don't want to be stuck with me here taking care of you. But I don't think you should be left alone considering how sick you were a little bit ago."
Rory was touched by his concern and his kindness. "Thank You Tristan."
He smiled, "Hey I got it after all. So are you hungry or something?"
"I'm alright I guess, what time is it anyway?"
"umm. . half past freckle," answered Tristan while looking at his wrist.
"Funny," replied Rory.
"I thought so," replied Tristan with a self-satisfied smile "Don't you have any clocks around here?"
"There should be one on the VCR."
"And that would be…"
"On top of the TV."
"Ahhh ingenious place."
"I thought so."
Tristan got up and walked over to the VCR. "Its 12:35. Wow we slept for like 3 hours. And I think that it's now lunchtime. Did you have breakfast?"
"A pop tart and coffee."
"Ugh how can you drink that stuff? It tastes like burnt rubber?"
Rory gave him a disgusted look, "Get back, Satan."
"Well anyway, I think maybe eating something will help you feel better. Maybe you have low blood sugar or something."
"Wow," replied Rory.
"What?"
"You're acting all doctory."
"Yeah well I guess that makes you my patient for the day. And you know you must do whatever the doctor says."
Rory just snorted at that little comment. Tristan walked into the kitchen with Rory following in surprise. She watched in amazement as he opened the refrigerator and cabinets.
"How do you people eat? Don't you ever go shopping? How am I supposed to feed you when there's nothing in the house?"
"Wow," answered Rory.
"What now?" asked Tristan over his shoulder as he now opened another cabinet. "Don't you have any pots or pans?"
"You're now acting all cooky and care-givery. Will the wonders never cease?"
"How do you live?"
"We usually eat our meal's out at Luke's."
"Ok, are you well enough to go out or do they have take out or delivery or something?"
"no delivery but they do have take out and yes I think I am ok to go. But first I want to change out of this horrible uniform."
"Good call. I have clothes in my car is it alright if I use your bathroom to change?"
"Of course. Knock your socks off." came her reply as she was retreating into her bedroom.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As Rory opened her closet and drawers looking for something to wear, she found the dress that she had worn a few months ago to Madeline's party and the events of that night came back fresh in her mind. She remembered her own uncomfortable ness as well as the look on Tristan's face as he was dumped before everyone. But two things stood out even more in her mind, the kiss and what she saw when she looked into his eyes just before. *Jeese, I can't believe I'm thinking about this again. I mean sure it was a good kiss; Hell I can't deny that I didn't kiss him back. But the timing was off. We were both emotional and stressed out. But what was in his eyes that night? He looked like there was no where else he would of liked to be and with no one else. And he let the first glimpse of his true character show through. He was a totally different person to me for a while: civil, nice and totally unlike his arrogant usual self. Why did it all have to change? Because silly, you ripped his heart out threw it on the ground and did the happy dance over it with your boyfriend. Oh great the voice speaks again. You know I seriously think I'm going crazy. First Tristan and then you. This has been one crazy day. And what they heck are you talking about? OK let's rewind again. Tristan mean, you and Tristan come to an understanding AFTER he kisses you AND you kiss back, you refuse when he wants to take you to a concert, hurt him, make him defensive and crazy because he doesn't know how to act around you, and then kiss your ex-boyfriend right in front of him. Hell I even feel bad for the guy.*
Rory suddenly saw an image clear as day of Tristan right before she turned back to Dean and right after she told him she loved him. It was filled with pain and disappointment. He saw him put down her books and quietly walk away in the other direction with his head down. *But why should that hurt him? He told me himself that he doesn't like me anymore. Yeah well the boy's clever I'll give him that. Think about what he said and find the true meaning behind his words. It will all make sense eventually. What about Dean? I love him right? How does he fit into all this? Why does Tristan mean so much to me? You have to answer those questions yourself. You are myself! Good call but since you don't know how could I know. *
Rory sighed and put away the dress. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, changed and walked out the door.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
While he walked back to his car and found his clothes, Tristan was deep in thought about what he had been doing that day and about Rory's reaction to him and to their conversations. *Why is she being so nice and civil to me? I mean she's the one who told me that she hates me. I can still remember every detail of that day. It was beautiful outside. It's almost surreal how I remember just how vivid the colors were as we stepped out into the courtyard. That girl had me going crazy and I had no idea how to react to her. Then it happened and he showed up.*
Tristan saw an image of Rory's face in his mind when she saw him by the car and they day moved as if on fast-forward. "I love you, you idiot." And then that kiss. All the feelings and emotions came racing back. The pain, the despair, the jealousy and the anguish. He was left breathless once again. Her words rang in his head "I hate you." He shook his head again as he began to walk up the stairs to her porch and up to the door. *How could I let someone get to me so bad? It's always been a game never anything serious. The chase, the kill, then you break up with them. You never get in too deep. Caring about them means that they can hurt you. You open yourself up to love and you get shot down. Those are the rules in my world. But I've broken all the rules for her and thus I get the same result. Pain and despair. Nothings different and nothing will ever change. *
He walked into the house and found the bathroom. He changed
and stared at his reflection in the mirror. *There's no point in playing the
game anymore. You're not that confident player. And you're not even close to
being worthy of her. The game's over
but the rules remain. NO ONE knows the real you. Not your parents or your
siblings. But maybe she could. She
would understand you since no one else does. *
He smiled at his reflection. Maybe the rules could be changed after all.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Well that's the end of part 2. It took me a bit to write but I think it turned
out good. Let me know what you think. I'll
try and continue it soon.
snoflaik:)~