Part 12:
A/N: Actually not much here. I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter; it was definitely not as emotionally draining as the last 2! I have noticed a decline in the reviews, so it's time for me to bug you! I like reading reviews…it gives me motivation to continue. So even a "good job" is fine with me…
Disclaimer: I own nothing...BTVS, TBAA, or Angel...the poem is called "Die Mainacht (The May Night) and it's actually a piece by Johannes Brahms.
"When the silver moon through the shrubs shines,
And its slumbering light over the grass scatters,
And the nightingale flutes,
Wander I sadly from bush to bush
Concealed by foliage coo a pair of doves their ecstasy before me;
But I turn away, seek deeper shadows, and solitary tear flows.
When, O smiling image, that like the morning red irradiates through my soul,
Find I on earth you?
And that solitary tear trembles the hotter down my cheek!"
He found the Slayer off in a remote corner in the waiting room of Sunnydale Memorial hospital. Angel approached the girl cautiously, not wanting to startle her. Something was different about the girl. As if she was filled with this inner light, holy and impenetrable. She was grieving, that much was obvious, but she also radiated something Angel couldn't quite put his finger on. He leaned forward slightly and softly said, "Buffy?"
Buffy looked up, startled. Her eyes were wide and watery from crying. "Angel?" She stood up shakily, reaching to embrace her former lover. "How did you know to come?"
"Cordelia had a vision."
She nodded at this, accepting, then looked at him in confusion. "Wait. Cordelia got a vision? I thought it was your Irish friend…what was his name?"
"Doyle. He um...He died not long after you came to see me in LA last November." Angel looked down, quietly grieving for his friend.
"Oh. I'm sorry. It's hard, losing someone you care about." She winced, knowing what she had said would cause him pain. You know, I really am a dolt sometimes. Talk about your double-edged sword…
Angel did acknowledge the double meaning of what Buffy had said, but he let it slide. "We do miss him, but I guess it was how he died that almost makes it better. Doyle died a hero. He never really put himself on the line before, always wanted to stay in the background. But that night, he sacrificed himself to save a race of half-breed demons. Doyle was half-Bracken (Spelling?) himself and he couldn't stand to see others like himself hurt or killed."
Buffy nodded, understanding this completely. "So how did Cordy get this 'gift'?"
Angel kind of chuckled at the memory of it. "Doyle had always had a thing for Cordy, right from the beginning. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her, because she was always saying how disgusting demons were. That night, we were on a freighter, and I was going to do the brave and noble thing, saving the half-breeds. That is, until Doyle clocked me in the face. I fell to the floor, and as I looked up I saw him kiss her. She told me later what he had said… 'I guess we'll never know' and he turned into his demon form, 'if this is a face you could learn to love'. And then he died."
"So I'm guessing it was the kiss that did it."
"I think there's more to it than that, but yes. That seems to be how is works." Angel paused, remembering why he was there. "Buffy, in Cordelia's vision, she saw you fighting as usual, but this time, there were three people behind you and they were all glowing."
"Three? There's only one that I know of..."
The vampire with a soul looked at her in disbelief and confusion. "So you know then? That there are-"
"Angels in Sunnydale? Sure. I just spoke with one before coming to the hospital. Her name is Monica, and she made me see some things I had never considered before." The Slayer began to fiddle with the crucifix around her neck. "I never really thought about the significance of this before. But after talking to Monica, I now know that was staring me in the face all this time."
Angel's eyes filled with understanding. This was the glow he had seen in her; she was a child of God now. (A/N: for those of you who understand the whole salvation thing, I realize that everyone is a child of God, but not many willingly accept Christ's gift of salvation)
"She told me some thing, Angel. Some thing I've wanted to know for a long time. I know who I am. I know who chose me to be the Slayer. It was God. He saw something in me, and made me a warrior for the Light. After hearing that, I just couldn't turn away anymore. I prayed and I asked Christ to forgive my sins and become my Savior."
The light in Buffy shone ever more brightly, and Angel almost had to turn away from it. It was so pure and so holy, that it made him realize that no matter how much good he did, he would never find redemption without God. But how can I ask God to forgive all that I've done? I don't deserve forgiveness. And what would happen when I ask Jesus to be my Savior? Will the demon be banished? Will I die? "That's wonderful Buffy. I know you always had a yearning to find out about your roots." He paused momentarily. "I'm such an idiot. She had a vision about Giles too. How is he?" Angel was genuinely concerned for the man who had such a large impact on Buffy. If they lost him, they lost a Slayer too.
Buffy's eyes filled with tears, yet they showed relief and happiness. "He's going to be ok. He was in a coma, and they almost lost him, but the doctors got him back. He told me he talked to Jenny."
Angel winced, the pain and guilt from what he had done was still fresh in his mind. "He saw Jenny?"
Buffy took his hand, knowing how hard it was for him to hear about the people he had murdered so mercilessly. Especially Jenny Calendar. "That's why he came back to the living. She told him that if he died, it would have an inadvertent affect on the Hellmouth. He felt that he had no choice but to live. I have to say, I'm glad he made that decision."
Angel nodded in understanding. If Giles had died, it would have affected Buffy so badly that she wouldn't want to carry on as the Slayer. "I'm glad he decided to live too. I mean, what would we do without him?"
Tears filled Buffy's eyes once more as she reflected on what she had said to her Watcher in his hospital room. It was true; if he had died, Buffy simply would have stopped Slaying. She wouldn't have a reason to do it, even though she took the nightly battles so seriously. Giles was just too important to all of them. Buffy knew that Willow and Xander saw the Brit as a father figure, just as she did. It was too bad they were of age, otherwise the Scoobies probably would have asked him to be their legal guardian.
The former lovers sat in the waiting room in silence, simply enjoying the nearness of each other. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and even then, things were tense between the vampire and Slayer. But now, after several months, the intense feelings seemed to have cooled off and they were content being together as friends. If anything more became of their friendship, neither would fight it; yet they both knew their limitations. (Yes, I am a B/A shipper, I just don't know yet if that's relevant to the plotline yet. So if nothing develops, don't blame me! Blame it on this plotline, because I have no idea where it's going. I'm a slave to the inspiration!)
After several minutes of complete silence, Buffy and Angel heard familiar voices coming down the hallway. "…Queen C. How've you been? Working for Dead Boy, I hear." Buffy chuckled at hearing Xander's voice. Obviously, his opinion of Cordy had changed very little, if at all.
"You'd be surprised Xander. Angel Investigations is an excellent detective agency. 'We help the helpless'." Cordy sounded very proud, yet somehow humbled by the cause they were fighting for in LA. The two friends rounded the corner, their eyes landing on Buffy and Angel, together on the couch. (not together, in that sense, for those of you who weren't paying attention earlier.) "Hey, Angel…Buffy," Cordy acknowledged vampire and Slayer as she sat in the chair to the right of the couch.
"Hey, Cordelia. How are you?" Buffy asked, for once wanting to know what was going on with Cordelia. I don't believe it. I actually consider Queen C a friend? Who'd have thought?
Cordy looked just as surprised as Buffy by this question. She didn't have too many friends who actually took time out to care about her well-being. "I'm doing ok. I mean, the headaches I get with these visions are no picnic, but-"
"Visions? What visions?" Xander interrupted his ex-girlfriend in confusion. "You never said anything about visions earlier.
"And we were talking for so long, Xand...like five minutes, maybe? As if I had time to tell you." She looked at him, the sarcasm plain on her face. "So, I guess now I'm telling you."
Xander nodded sheepishly. "Sorry. Wasn't thinking…And don't say anything!"
They all chuckled and let Cordy continue. "Anyway, as I was saying, the headaches are awful, but ultimately I really do enjoy helping these people. All the time I was here, on the Hellmouth, I never appreciated everything that you do, Buffy. Everything that you all do. But now, I understand that desire to help people, and I want to help every last one of them."
Buffy and Xander exchanged glances, before Buffy replied, "Wow, Cordy. Maybe you should have been the Slayer. It can get hard, as I'm sure you know." The Slayer paused, collecting her thoughts. "You know, Cordy, I never thought I would ever think of you as anything other than completely selfish and shallow. But now, after hearing you say that, I'm even more encouraged to go out and fight every night. You've really changed a lot, Cordelia. I'm impressed."
Cordelia Chase actually blushed at this remark. A year ago, she never would have admitted that she looked up to Buffy, but now… "Thanks Buffy. That really means a lot. I've been thinking a lot about what I was like in high school, and I am so ashamed of how I treated so many people. I was such an idiot."
Everyone looked to Xander, waiting for him to make some smart aleck remark, yet he remained silent. Hey, even I know when to shut up. Instead, they all sat there in silence, reflecting on what their lives had become in the last few months. Each thought about what could have been, if only something had been done differently in the past, and they all thought about what was to become of their lives and friendships in the coming future.
A/N: Yet another pointless part to this fic. Hopefully the next one will start moving the plot along again. A little earlier in this chapter, I mentioned accepting Christ's gift of salvation. If anyone has any comments or questions, email me at TLF001@drake.edu. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have. I'm so excited right now; we're starting this thing on Drake campus tomorrow, called Jubilee, and it's been a long process planning it. So, if you don't see anything new posted, that's why. I'll be rather busy, out in the Mission field this week! Oh, and just another nudge to all you who read this…please, please, please review! Those have dwindled severely, and I'd like to know what you're all thinking about where this fic is going….and after that winded A/N, I'm done now. Feel free to review and move on to other stories on the site…
A/N: Actually not much here. I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter; it was definitely not as emotionally draining as the last 2! I have noticed a decline in the reviews, so it's time for me to bug you! I like reading reviews…it gives me motivation to continue. So even a "good job" is fine with me…
Disclaimer: I own nothing...BTVS, TBAA, or Angel...the poem is called "Die Mainacht (The May Night) and it's actually a piece by Johannes Brahms.
"When the silver moon through the shrubs shines,
And its slumbering light over the grass scatters,
And the nightingale flutes,
Wander I sadly from bush to bush
Concealed by foliage coo a pair of doves their ecstasy before me;
But I turn away, seek deeper shadows, and solitary tear flows.
When, O smiling image, that like the morning red irradiates through my soul,
Find I on earth you?
And that solitary tear trembles the hotter down my cheek!"
He found the Slayer off in a remote corner in the waiting room of Sunnydale Memorial hospital. Angel approached the girl cautiously, not wanting to startle her. Something was different about the girl. As if she was filled with this inner light, holy and impenetrable. She was grieving, that much was obvious, but she also radiated something Angel couldn't quite put his finger on. He leaned forward slightly and softly said, "Buffy?"
Buffy looked up, startled. Her eyes were wide and watery from crying. "Angel?" She stood up shakily, reaching to embrace her former lover. "How did you know to come?"
"Cordelia had a vision."
She nodded at this, accepting, then looked at him in confusion. "Wait. Cordelia got a vision? I thought it was your Irish friend…what was his name?"
"Doyle. He um...He died not long after you came to see me in LA last November." Angel looked down, quietly grieving for his friend.
"Oh. I'm sorry. It's hard, losing someone you care about." She winced, knowing what she had said would cause him pain. You know, I really am a dolt sometimes. Talk about your double-edged sword…
Angel did acknowledge the double meaning of what Buffy had said, but he let it slide. "We do miss him, but I guess it was how he died that almost makes it better. Doyle died a hero. He never really put himself on the line before, always wanted to stay in the background. But that night, he sacrificed himself to save a race of half-breed demons. Doyle was half-Bracken (Spelling?) himself and he couldn't stand to see others like himself hurt or killed."
Buffy nodded, understanding this completely. "So how did Cordy get this 'gift'?"
Angel kind of chuckled at the memory of it. "Doyle had always had a thing for Cordy, right from the beginning. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her, because she was always saying how disgusting demons were. That night, we were on a freighter, and I was going to do the brave and noble thing, saving the half-breeds. That is, until Doyle clocked me in the face. I fell to the floor, and as I looked up I saw him kiss her. She told me later what he had said… 'I guess we'll never know' and he turned into his demon form, 'if this is a face you could learn to love'. And then he died."
"So I'm guessing it was the kiss that did it."
"I think there's more to it than that, but yes. That seems to be how is works." Angel paused, remembering why he was there. "Buffy, in Cordelia's vision, she saw you fighting as usual, but this time, there were three people behind you and they were all glowing."
"Three? There's only one that I know of..."
The vampire with a soul looked at her in disbelief and confusion. "So you know then? That there are-"
"Angels in Sunnydale? Sure. I just spoke with one before coming to the hospital. Her name is Monica, and she made me see some things I had never considered before." The Slayer began to fiddle with the crucifix around her neck. "I never really thought about the significance of this before. But after talking to Monica, I now know that was staring me in the face all this time."
Angel's eyes filled with understanding. This was the glow he had seen in her; she was a child of God now. (A/N: for those of you who understand the whole salvation thing, I realize that everyone is a child of God, but not many willingly accept Christ's gift of salvation)
"She told me some thing, Angel. Some thing I've wanted to know for a long time. I know who I am. I know who chose me to be the Slayer. It was God. He saw something in me, and made me a warrior for the Light. After hearing that, I just couldn't turn away anymore. I prayed and I asked Christ to forgive my sins and become my Savior."
The light in Buffy shone ever more brightly, and Angel almost had to turn away from it. It was so pure and so holy, that it made him realize that no matter how much good he did, he would never find redemption without God. But how can I ask God to forgive all that I've done? I don't deserve forgiveness. And what would happen when I ask Jesus to be my Savior? Will the demon be banished? Will I die? "That's wonderful Buffy. I know you always had a yearning to find out about your roots." He paused momentarily. "I'm such an idiot. She had a vision about Giles too. How is he?" Angel was genuinely concerned for the man who had such a large impact on Buffy. If they lost him, they lost a Slayer too.
Buffy's eyes filled with tears, yet they showed relief and happiness. "He's going to be ok. He was in a coma, and they almost lost him, but the doctors got him back. He told me he talked to Jenny."
Angel winced, the pain and guilt from what he had done was still fresh in his mind. "He saw Jenny?"
Buffy took his hand, knowing how hard it was for him to hear about the people he had murdered so mercilessly. Especially Jenny Calendar. "That's why he came back to the living. She told him that if he died, it would have an inadvertent affect on the Hellmouth. He felt that he had no choice but to live. I have to say, I'm glad he made that decision."
Angel nodded in understanding. If Giles had died, it would have affected Buffy so badly that she wouldn't want to carry on as the Slayer. "I'm glad he decided to live too. I mean, what would we do without him?"
Tears filled Buffy's eyes once more as she reflected on what she had said to her Watcher in his hospital room. It was true; if he had died, Buffy simply would have stopped Slaying. She wouldn't have a reason to do it, even though she took the nightly battles so seriously. Giles was just too important to all of them. Buffy knew that Willow and Xander saw the Brit as a father figure, just as she did. It was too bad they were of age, otherwise the Scoobies probably would have asked him to be their legal guardian.
The former lovers sat in the waiting room in silence, simply enjoying the nearness of each other. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and even then, things were tense between the vampire and Slayer. But now, after several months, the intense feelings seemed to have cooled off and they were content being together as friends. If anything more became of their friendship, neither would fight it; yet they both knew their limitations. (Yes, I am a B/A shipper, I just don't know yet if that's relevant to the plotline yet. So if nothing develops, don't blame me! Blame it on this plotline, because I have no idea where it's going. I'm a slave to the inspiration!)
After several minutes of complete silence, Buffy and Angel heard familiar voices coming down the hallway. "…Queen C. How've you been? Working for Dead Boy, I hear." Buffy chuckled at hearing Xander's voice. Obviously, his opinion of Cordy had changed very little, if at all.
"You'd be surprised Xander. Angel Investigations is an excellent detective agency. 'We help the helpless'." Cordy sounded very proud, yet somehow humbled by the cause they were fighting for in LA. The two friends rounded the corner, their eyes landing on Buffy and Angel, together on the couch. (not together, in that sense, for those of you who weren't paying attention earlier.) "Hey, Angel…Buffy," Cordy acknowledged vampire and Slayer as she sat in the chair to the right of the couch.
"Hey, Cordelia. How are you?" Buffy asked, for once wanting to know what was going on with Cordelia. I don't believe it. I actually consider Queen C a friend? Who'd have thought?
Cordy looked just as surprised as Buffy by this question. She didn't have too many friends who actually took time out to care about her well-being. "I'm doing ok. I mean, the headaches I get with these visions are no picnic, but-"
"Visions? What visions?" Xander interrupted his ex-girlfriend in confusion. "You never said anything about visions earlier.
"And we were talking for so long, Xand...like five minutes, maybe? As if I had time to tell you." She looked at him, the sarcasm plain on her face. "So, I guess now I'm telling you."
Xander nodded sheepishly. "Sorry. Wasn't thinking…And don't say anything!"
They all chuckled and let Cordy continue. "Anyway, as I was saying, the headaches are awful, but ultimately I really do enjoy helping these people. All the time I was here, on the Hellmouth, I never appreciated everything that you do, Buffy. Everything that you all do. But now, I understand that desire to help people, and I want to help every last one of them."
Buffy and Xander exchanged glances, before Buffy replied, "Wow, Cordy. Maybe you should have been the Slayer. It can get hard, as I'm sure you know." The Slayer paused, collecting her thoughts. "You know, Cordy, I never thought I would ever think of you as anything other than completely selfish and shallow. But now, after hearing you say that, I'm even more encouraged to go out and fight every night. You've really changed a lot, Cordelia. I'm impressed."
Cordelia Chase actually blushed at this remark. A year ago, she never would have admitted that she looked up to Buffy, but now… "Thanks Buffy. That really means a lot. I've been thinking a lot about what I was like in high school, and I am so ashamed of how I treated so many people. I was such an idiot."
Everyone looked to Xander, waiting for him to make some smart aleck remark, yet he remained silent. Hey, even I know when to shut up. Instead, they all sat there in silence, reflecting on what their lives had become in the last few months. Each thought about what could have been, if only something had been done differently in the past, and they all thought about what was to become of their lives and friendships in the coming future.
A/N: Yet another pointless part to this fic. Hopefully the next one will start moving the plot along again. A little earlier in this chapter, I mentioned accepting Christ's gift of salvation. If anyone has any comments or questions, email me at TLF001@drake.edu. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have. I'm so excited right now; we're starting this thing on Drake campus tomorrow, called Jubilee, and it's been a long process planning it. So, if you don't see anything new posted, that's why. I'll be rather busy, out in the Mission field this week! Oh, and just another nudge to all you who read this…please, please, please review! Those have dwindled severely, and I'd like to know what you're all thinking about where this fic is going….and after that winded A/N, I'm done now. Feel free to review and move on to other stories on the site…