"Through The Never"
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Outlaw Star nor the title, which belongs to the Metallica song with the same name.
By Laguna
Gene finally docked all the equipment onboard Outlaw Star. Aisha was at her control taking a catnap, Jim looking over the equipment one more time; Meflina is now in her navigation tube. "Hey Gene, were back." Hanmyo rushed to the dock with a bag full of food. Laguna followed along. "What took you two too long?" Gene asked, "Shut up Gene, that's the last time I'm going to the market." Laguna made his way into the Outlaw Star and into his cabin. "Hanmyo, may I ask what happened?" Hanmyo dropped the bag and turned her attention to Gene "It was nothing, he saw his girlfriend there." Gene was confused, oh well…. I'd better stay out of this or I might get beat up, he thought. Gene finally made his way to the cockpit and sat at his chair. He flipped a couple switches and turned the intercom to the tower. "XGP to Blue Heaven, do we have clearance?" A scratchy voice suddenly popped. "Uhh….yeah…..go ahead." The airlocks to the main gate closes and the giant metal door opens slowly. Hanmyo made her way into the cockpit and sat on the chair next to Jim. The ship made its slow descent into space. "Gene," Gillium's panel board lights up. "Do you know where you are going this time?" Gene starred at the board. "I know where I'm going. That last time was a mistake." "A big mistake, Gene. We lost 24 hours." "OKOK!!" Gene was furious, he slammed his fist onto the panel board, hitting the hyperdrive button. "YOU IDIOT!" Jim hollered "I CANT BELIVE YOU DONE THAT!" The ship began to move slowly and it went right through the asteroid field. After a second, they made it past the asteroid field with strange luck. Laguna barged into the cockpit. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" Laguna demanded. "Gene knocked the hyperdrive button…" Jim answered. "Great…just great, I'm surprised we are not dead yet." The radar flashed and the siren went off. Aisha woke up, rubbing her ears, "Where are we?" She took a look at the radar to se e a blip. "Ah….you guys, we are in trouble." She pointed out the black hole. "GENE, GET US OUT OF HYPERDRIVE NOW!" Jim hollered. Gene frantically flipped some buttons only to make the Outlaw Star faster. "Great job, we are dead." Laguna mumbled. The black hole pulled on the Outlaw Star, ripping the bolts out of the hull. "DO SOMETHING!" Gene frantically pushed buttons left to right. He pressed the buttons to the newly installed gravity missiles. The missile launched from the tube and exploded from the force of the black hole. The Outlaw Star disappeared out of sight.
Gene woke up to find himself at a bar. "Wha? How'd I get here?" He looked around the bar; he is back on Heifong, but how? "Hmm…you must stop drinking a lot Gene." A familiar voice hits his ears. Gene turned around to see Fred. "Oh…its just you." "ONLY ME? That's what you're going to say to your date." Gene almost got a heat attack "WHAT?!? Y-you're not serious…." "Of course silly, you were on your knees, begging me to go on a date." Gene ran out of the bar, screaming his lungs out. "Oh great…. there goes another date." Fred mumbled.
Jim found himself at a WWF show. "How'd the heck I get here?…..Ah nevermind, atleast I have front row seats. Aisha came up to Jim and sat next to him, snuggling close to him. "Uhmm Aisha…whats the problem?" She looked up at him, "Nothing…they don't have popcorn for sale sweetie." Jim gave her a blank stare, "Did you just called me sweetie?" "Of course Jim, what should I call you. I meant…. that's what humans call each other when they are married, right?" Jim looked at his hand and saw a wedding ring. At first sight, he fell unconscious. "Heh…probably the excitement was too much for him."
Hanmyo found herself lost in New York City. She made her way to the crowd and saw a man trapped in a block of ice, not knowing that the fact it was a trick. "Oh my, he's stuck. I'd better get him out of the ice before he freezes to death. Hanmyo closed her eyes and began to chant. The ice around the man began to melt and people around her watched in awe. As the ice melts and the man came out, the whole crowd clapped for Hanmyo. Hanmyo opened her eyes and saw a crowd of people surrounding her. A manager came up to her shaking her hand "I FOUND MY NEW SHOW! HAH, KID, YOU WILL BE BIGGER THAN DAVID COPPERFIELD. EVER THOUGHT OF GOING INTO SHOW BUSINESS?" Hanmyo looked up at the loud man, "Sure why not? When am I gonna start?"
Melfina found herself in the White House as an intern. She was pretty happy herself. After a long day of work pushing paper, a secret service member handed her a box of pizza. "Huh? What's this for?" Melfina asked. The guard looked at her; "The President wants you to deliver him the pizza." She took the pizza box and made her way to the Oval Office. She opened the door and Bill Clinton greeted her. "Why hello young intern uhmm…Melfina. Welcome to the Oral Office….I meant Oval Office." Melfina blinked "Uhmm…thanks Mr. President." "Don't call me Mr. President, you can call me "Slick Willie"." Bill made his way back to the desk and sat down, "Now can you hand me that pizza?" Melfina made her way over and placed the pizza down on the desk. "Anything else "Slick Willie"?" A thought came up to the Presidents mind, "Want to see MY monument?"
"Blordo Wine, a dollar a jug. It can never be beaten." Orson Wells held the jug of whiskey, "Now for a little magic. Watch me make this bottle of wine disappear." He began to drink the bottle. "CUT!" Laguna hollered "That was good but…can you not drink during the commercial?" Orson placed the jug on the table, "Fine, can we do the next commercial?" Laguna looked at his watch, "Fine, but we have to film Hanmyos Magic in fifteen minutes." A stagehand removed the bottle and handed him a box of fish sticks. "Ok…ACTION!" Laguna hollered. "Aunt Frankies fish sticks…crunchy and spicy at the same time." He takes out a fish stick and eats it, "Mmm…its even better when its RAW!" "CUT!" Laguna hollered, "Can you NOT say that…next commercial." The stagehand took the box of fish sticks and placed a plate of peas. "Ok…ACTION!" Laguna hollered. "Rosebud…….Rosebud peas, full of country and green peas….ahh I give up." Orson stands up and leaves the set only to return and grab a handful of peas; "A handful for the road would do well."
Gillium looked about. He found himself in a conference meeting in Seattle. Hmm…I guess I'm a high paying C.E.O., this is great. Bill Gates went up to Gillium. "The next computer idea is the Gillium XG5000. It has everything from Internet access, DVD, and music." "Oh no," Gillium said to himself, "I was created by Bill Gates…..NOOOO!!!!!!!" Bill Gates starred at Gillium, "Eh, its probably a malfunction. Guards…throw it into the incinerator, I can always make another one." Gillium saw the guards coming towards him. "NOOO! IM DOOMED!"
Back in reality, the ship appeared in space, back to normal. The crew saw each other and decided not to talk about what has happened in their disappearance. Gillium made a conclusion that they went to a dark void called "The Never" and warned Gene not to do that mistake again. They made the cargo run on time and their reward? A free trip through the never.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Spooky funny stuff huh? Hope you like it. And please no flames