Then, taking a few more
steps the boy went through him and to Heero's surprise cried out, seemingly to
thin air, "Clair! What are you doing here?"
Heero tried to turn and
found that he could feel his body once again, turning around, he looked up to
see a catwalk, thin metal bars running through and parallel to each other, on
the catwalk, leaning against the railing stood a small girl with umber hair and
large green eyes on a small, pale face, she was apparently Clair.
Why don't I remember her? I remember the rest, all the soldiers, the intelligence crew, every child in the program, but her. Clair? Was her code name changed? There was no Clair on the database, no mention of her, why not? Is this some alternate past? Where I wasn't chosen for the mission? Why do I see it now, why now?
"Heero! You can't take the
test! It's stupid, suicide, that's what it is! Everyone dies in less then an
hour, information at such speed that the brain can't handle it!" Clair shouted,
her large eyes contracting with hidden pain, the boy looked at her with
defiance, determination clear on his young face. "I won't fail, and if I do I
deserve to die, it's my time to take the test and I'll do my best, you can't
stop me!" he shouted, ignoring Dr. J, who was calmly standing in the shadows of
the room,
"No one deserves to die,
and the test is just a trap to kill those who are stupid enough to take it! You
won't prove anything by killing yourself except that you're as dumb as the rest
of the soldiers!"
"You shouldn't laugh at
the soldiers, they are much stronger and quick thinking than you! Those who
need a computer to find information they should know end up in the intelligence
crew, but I'll get the test done with and become the new test pilot, it's my
time to become an agent!" the small boy shouted, sounding proud and foolish at
the same time,
"You shouldn't laugh at the soldiers…" but really the soldiers are dumb, they fight for whatever their commanders tell them to, they only fight to win medals, not to bring back peace, that boy sounds like a soldier so much…he is me, just young, not through the tests yet, he'll learn, I did, or did I? I learned not to question my judgment, but I still do. Did he learn?
"If you think the
intelligence crew trainees are stupid, then try the mission, go ahead, you'll
end up dead, just like Jake did, I remember, you took a lot less caution
showing your feelings when Jake died! Do you want to die like that too?" Clair
shouted, anger showing plainly on her face.
"I'm sorry Clair, I know
we shouldn't argue, it just makes things worse, I don't know where the agents
and soldiers would be without the intelligence crew, I'm sorry!"
"Don't be, but if you
still want to take the test, then fine, I'll become an agent too, we might get
a mission together some day."
"No! You won't make the
test, any way, you're in the intelligence crew already, what did you have left?
One more test? You'll be in the crew and then we'll meet as soon as my first
mission's over, I'll need your help, we could ask to be partners!" the boy sounded
enthusiastic, even though Heero could tell that the small boy knew, on high
class missions there were no partners.
Why? I never wanted a partner in my life! And I didn't need the intelligence crew, I don't need that girl, anyway, he should know, if he passes the test, it's lone missions all the way. This is stupid, that's not me, I'm not that weak, don't need the inelegance crew, or the soldiers, I do my missions on my own; no assistance needed, or is it? I'm second-guessing myself, how many times was I beat for that?
"Heero, please don't do it! You know that this is stupid, what are you trying to prove? That you're mind is strong enough? It is! Everyone knows, now stop this stupidity, you don't have to try for the Gundam to be an agent, any mobile suit will do, or you could be on ground support, or one of the spies, anything! Just don't try the Gundam!" Clair was showing weakness, while the boy's face remained untouched by emotions the small pale girl started to cry…this was unusual, at the base, all trainees were beat for showing emotions, she was going to get it bad from Dr. J…
Why is she crying? Intelligence crew ain't half bad, she can take on soldier duty any time, plus try out for agent later, why? I don't understand? She's crying, just like Relena was, it's a waist of body fluids and a weakness, but still, why? Relena was crying on the Libra, but she wasn't scared, or hurt, I would have seen if she was hurt. So why cry? Why do emotions always get in the way? They're useless, unneeded so why? I don't understand, happiness, sadness, and fear? Fear of what? Death? But death is like sleep, or at least to me it is, it's illogical to be afraid of death. I was taught to ignore fear, but I was never afraid, not of the test, or the mission, never… except once, at that party, I was afraid, afraid that Relena would get hurt, why? I was supposed to kill her, so why so afraid? Did she give me some drug of a sort, there are about 15 thousand that would work, but then why not later, why didn't I kill her later, on the Libra, or in another thousand places, am I a bad agent?
Rushing footsteps were
heard, rubber souls banging on the metal of the catwalk, soon enough their
owner appeared, an angry young man Heero recognized as one of the many
assistants in training, this one was codenamed Josh, a strange name and
unfitting to his personality, as Heero snapped out of his inner conflicts he
watched Josh step onto the catwalk, face flushed from running. "There you are
807! Where did you go, the test has started, you will be punished for this, and
crying! Why are you the trouble student? You're excellent on the tests, but
this…this will be taken off as marks for your intelligence report! If you run
off again I'll have to make you start training over again!" "I'm sorry Doctor."
He said as he noticed Dr. J and Heero standing below him,
"She's been the trouble
one for a long time now, but we are working on improvement! And number 149, I
hope you have luck on your next examination, it's mobile suits I presume?" The boy stood straight at the sound of his
number, all trainers and assistants used numbers to look more professional,
only between the students was the name Heero Yuy heard." Heero will be taking
the Gundam test soon, after that it's his first mission."
Dr. J always called Heero
by his name; he was trainer to only twelve students and called them all by
codenames to prepare them for their first missions, after which they will be
called by codenames by all the trainers. Josh nodded, everyone was quiet about
that test, and no students have survived so far, the professors were convinced
that one of the students would succeed and the test was available to all, but
most ignored it and took simpler tests for their passing mark.
I wish I had ignored it, but then, I'd be alone, Wing is my only companion, my partner, we fight together and die together, we did both once.
Dr. J moved out of his
position in the shadows and put his hand on the boy's shoulder as Clair was
dragged forcefully away the little boy and old man walked down the room and
towards the door at it's end, soon disappearing out of Heero's vision.