The Lone Soldier part
3
As the vision of the room disappeared into the darkness, Heero felt better, the darkness was no longer cold but helping, as a shield against pain and life, giving him time to rest while rejecting the world around him, not knowing why, he closed his eyes and drifted off into his thoughts, mainly those concerning his past, and any that might have Clair in them…
Why was she crying? And why can't I remember her? I can
remember every person, every number every codename every mission, but not this
girl, not this one girl, her name was not on the databases, not the
intelligence crew, non that were useable, non. I hacked into every one of them,
but no, non have any record of Clair, no files, no mission involving her, no
intelligence reports written by her…why is she missing, why? Is she dead? But
then her name would be in the records, or the "missing in action" she might
have run off, but then she's still be recorded, the records aren't just erased,
what happened to her? Why can't I remember!?
Suddenly, as if to answer his many questions, came another vision, this time a dark hanger, mobile suits staked in rows a long the far side, one particular one was closes to Heero, a small light glittering off the metal,
Wing, why Wing? Does Clair have something to do with this? Did she take the test and become the pilot? But then, what happened to the boy? Records show I was the only one to ever accomplished the test, is this a simulation? Am I watching my own test, or my first mission? I can't remember!?
Heero was surprised by his
own thought, which strangely kept drifting off the little girl on the catwalk;
looking away he instead concentrated on the mobile suit, and the figures
walking towards it.
The boy again, why do I see the boy? Why am I here? And those scientists, professor F, and that one, I can't remember, what was it? I should know this, I should be a better agent.
As the three figures
continued to walk across the hanger, clearly heading towards the Gundam, Heero
turned and saw a small pale face in the shadows, forest green eyes never
blinking, reminding him of Trowa…
Who is that? Trowa? No! He couldn't be here; he was with the emissaries, then who? Those eyes…Clair? What, why?! The tests are privet, none, but the professors are aloud in here, why did she snick in? Trying to stop the boy? I don't remember, why?
"You will become our
newest test pilot, the youngest and strongest, you should be proud. In only
four months you have accomplished much more then most students do, after this
test, you have succeeded." As one of the professors kept talking, about all the
students who failed the test, the other held the boy strongly by his shoulder
and almost forcefully walked him to the coc pit entrance of the mobile suit.
Looking closely, Heero saw what looked like regret rise slowly to the boy's
face, disappearing instantly as the professor whispered instructions in his
ear, looking a the giant machine, the boy nodded and was about to step into the
coc pit when the Green eyes suddenly disappeared and a small cry was heard from
the shadows on the hanger, the professor looked up and the other stopped
talking to watch as a small girl ran quickly towards the boy and to everyone's
surprise hugged him, as if to keep him from disappearing into fine air.
Clair? Why? I don't understand, why is she showing emotion? I can't remember, I remember my test, or at least a bit of it, but not this, not being hugged by a person, never this. She's be killed for this, but she still does it, does she want to die? Is she tiered of life? Like me? I don't understand, why show emotion?
The boy seemed taken back
by this sudden show of emotion, but hugged her back non the less, between sobs
Clair talked to him, trying to convince her friend no to take the test,
although her eyes were full of tears and sadness, the young Heero's eyes
remained emotionless, as if carved out of stone by the finest sculptor.
"Please don't do this,
please! I don't want to loose you Heero, I can't live like this any more!
Please stop! Please…" as her voice gave up and she trailed off into sobs, the
other professor made a move to remove her, but was stopped but his colleague,
and was forces to stare and the young boy pushed her away and looked at her
with emotionless eyes,
"I'm sorry, but I need to
take a test now, we'll have to talk later." With that he turned away, and no
one was able to read the tiny signs of loss hidden within his face.
The professor now took him
by the shoulder and almost forcefully directed him to the coc pit, whispering
him the password for it's opening. As he was about to get inside and strap in,
the boy suddenly turned around and was about to run towards the still form of
Clair, but he was grabbed by the professor and nearly frown into the coc pit,
"start your test! Now!" were his orders and as the door was locked behind him,
he tried to look out the clear plastic window only to see a struggling Clair
shouting for him and two professors, one holding her down and the other writing
some remarks about Heero's performance and skills. As the boy desperately tried
to get out, he suddenly sat down and with empty eyes, began his test.
The zero system took control, that's what happened, those memories were erased because they stopped me from operating properly, the zero system couldn't understand emotions either so they were unneeded. Clair was right, the test did kill me.
Closing his eyes, Heero
turned away from the fading vision, the zero system had betrayed him, Wing, his
only companion, was the reason that he never understood why Relena and Clair
were crying, and now he knew he never would.
His eyes snapped open to
revile another room, this time an office, a professor sat in his large leather
chair behind the desk, and a girl, about ten years old stood before him, curly
umber hair coved a pale face with large green eyes, those eyes looked defiant,
a secret light burning deep inside of them, a longing to be free and for power,
revenge, for what? Heero couldn't tell, this new secret felt strange to him, he
could hack into every computer system imaginable, could read expressions and
people like a book, one look and he could tell what the plan behind it was, but
with this girl, this new challenge, he couldn't.
"You have disgraced your
crew members, showing emotion, talking out, this is the last straw, I don't
know what happened during your training but I will not stand your incompetence.
You are no longer needed 807, you are dismissed." With those words, the
professor stood up, turned around and walked out of the room, leaving 807
alone.
Clair? Dismissed, maybe that why, but still, her training records, those should still be there. What could have happened?
Heero's thoughts were
interrupted as Clair started talking, no one else being there Heero stared, he
had never expected a soldier, much less an intelligence member to talk to
themselves, especially if they had just been dismissed.
"They don't understand, do
they, no one ever understands! The training ruins people, emotions are meant to
be shown, it's a way of communication! People die, children, because of
emotional overload, they've killed one too many, first Jake, then Heero, I
won't let them break me, never!" the last word was shouted out, anguish showing
on Clair's face, she suddenly smiled and laughed, as if her words had brought
back good memories, "I'll show them! I
won't be broken! Never! I'll stop all of them, no one else will ever take the
test, I'll stop them, even if every soldier in the operation will have to die!
Heero was wrong, the soldiers are dumb, they don't understand…no one does."
With that last outburst,
Clair proudly stepped out of the room, umber hair flying away from her face and
finally setting down on her back.
What have they done to her? She's crazy, what did they do!? What did she do? Those tests, that must have broken her, but she's right, they do kill people, the tests killed Clair.
Heero closed his eyes, not
wishing to see this person, a girl he thought he once knew turning into a
lunatic, as his eyes closed, blocking out the scene, the room disappeared, and
Heero was once again in the darkness, but he no longer cared,
I don't care, these visions only helped to show me how useless my life is, I'm dead, or at least that little boy is, the mission's over, there is peace now, I'm not needed anymore, just like the Gundams aren't. The others can choose to start a new life, but I will choose to die, life is too troublesome for me to bear it, especially without a purpose, Dr. J was right, the world is cruller then training, and I'd rather not deal with it, I've failed the mission, it's my time to die.
With those thoughts
circling in his mind, Heero finally drifted off into blissful sleep, as the
first stars were show to him alone in the abandoned city, the body of a young
soldier, tired from a long battle with in his mind, could be seen carefully
hidden under a piece of fallen cement.
To be continued…if reviewed.
Likes, dislikes? E-mail me! Criticism accepted and
welcomed, and flames to be sent at your own risk, whahahahah! *Goes crazy and
starts to choke little sister*
Lily Writer does not own Gundam Wing, this fic has no
commercial value, but great emotional value, please do not sue! - This
message is distributed by the Unhappy Company.