Mobian Politics is the biggest oxymoron in the history of modern language
-Kaben
Downundan Humorist
"Pelectan Shotor Ahmid."
Italia glanced curiosly at the wind hedgehog that acompanyed Lotus. "What did he say?'
"Steelbelly dousn't know Mobian standard," Lotus said. "He said that there is trechery in the air."
Italia was unintentionaly intimidated by Steelbelly, Lotus's general and bodyguard. He was massive for a hedgehog, and was laiden with weapons of all sorts, a crossbow on his back, a thin sword, metal barbs extending from his wrists, and a large stone spear he held in his gorilli-like hands. It was summer in Mobotropolis, and the light of the sun illuminated the city around the house of lords. It was an ancint part of the city, with narrow cobblestone streets made only for traveling by foot. The massive acorn pallace stood in front of them, reaching almost to the sky, restored since it's days as Robotnik's headquarters. The trio reached their destination, one of the few standing Aurorium temples, even now Paladins were carrying out suplies and lading them into trucks to carry to the battlefront.
Itala spoke. "Lotus, ther should be a few things you know about the Paladins before you speak to them,"
"Like what?"
Italia sighed as she pressed open the door to the temple. "Paladins rarely leave their temples, and no women are alloud to enter. So many of them havn't seen a woman in quite some time. You should expect to be satred at, though they do try to be polite about it."
"I understand,"
"Also, refer to them by their first name only." Italia siad. "Or simply call them 'Paladin' they hold no special title."
"First name,"
"Most importantly of all, do not compliment them." Italia said.
Lotus gave Italia a gaze, "Pardon?"
"Paladins despise weakness," Italia siad. "And those who use empty praise. They prefer you support them by your actions, not your words. It's really bust just to say to them what is needed, avoid idle chatter."
"Paladins can be that picky?"
"They have their ways." Italia said. "They are very intlegent and ejoyable people, once you get past their gruff exterior. Though I would't ask you spend any more time with them than you have to."
The trio reached an aremd guard, a paladin staing in front of the inner sanctemof the temple.
"Siter Italia," The Paladin gretted.
"Paladin, I need to take Lotus here to see your genral."
The Paladin glancer nervocely at Lotus. "Ma'am, do you have permision from the genral to take her past this point?"
"I can't get it if can't enter the temple, and I refus to let her alone."
The Paladin paused. "Very well, I sence you are telling the truth. However I must ask the the hedgehog stay here."
Lotus spoke breifly to steelbelly, and he sat.
"Will he be okay waiting?" Italia siad.
"He'll be fine," Lotus replied, "He's used to this, when he knows I'm safe."
The pair entered the inner snaktem, witch looked mutch like a Sisterhood temple, with a large foyer flanked by confession booths, hoever this one was not public. It was reserved only for Paladins, and close followers. There were no windows in the massive stone building, to achive screcy an army needs. Torches seems well bright nough to light the massive room adequately. The Paladin general, (Apearent by the medals on his sash) was helping remove some of the smaller furniture form the front of the foyer. Italia sighed, wondering what exactly they planed to do with it if all their temples were shut down.
"Paladin genreal," Italia said in greeting.
"Who's the Echidna?" The paladin asked, apearently not hapy to see another female in his temple.
"This is sister Lotus," Italia said. "She is a Missionary that is of importance in this matter."
The Paladin glance curiosly at Lotus for a moment, shruged. "Very well."
"Genral, you are the second in charge of deployment in ths sector?"
The General noded. "All paladins withing the scity are mine to command," He siad. "However, I do have orders to march to the coast. . .there to meet with the main force on the battlefront."
"Paladan, inform your men then they will defend the city."
The paldin paused, "Sister Italia, my orders are clear. . .my men are hungry for combat,"
Italia sighed, "Paladin, there is a reason that I've been assighend to watch over the matters of the fellowship," she siad. "It is because you are fighters, not thinkers. I've been tought to controll my emmotions, and not let them govern me. For thses reason I have been given the ability to supercede the orders of all high genrals. In this case I'd ther have you defending the inocent here in the city, rahter than throwing your lives away in offencives."
The paladin bowed, "Very well sister," He siad. "My men will rally here. But I cannot guarantee the loyty of those already at the front,"
"They are of no concern," Italia said. "Their offencive will work toward the greater good, however, we need as many troopers and you can recall."
"I will take you wishes to the front personaly," The genral said. "And I will return with all the men I can spare."
Italia bowed. "See that you do." She said. "I will require the use of your office, I need to contact my temple."
"Very well," The general said, motioning in the direction of the offices.
Italia and Lotus exited the foyer wihtout another word, Lotus nmore thana bit surprised about the effciency of the meeting. Italai seemd to sence her quesiton.
"Paladins never questions authority," Italia said. "Unless one of their tleepaths sence coruptions."
"Were there telepaths in there?" Lotus asked.
"Most likely, you notice the genral was wearing an earphoe, this was to communicate with his truthsayer." Italia said. "If they would have senced I was acting for selfish reason he would have killed me, and my eath never would be questions."
"No wonder most people don't talk to paladins," Lotus siad. "And slight doubt or selfish ambition and they can kill you,"
"It prevents treachery." Italia siad. "it's brutal, but it's a needed precation."
Crimson and his mother entered the temple reaching the door to the inne sanctem. The drab blue of the stone walls was almost to boreing for Rogue to stand, she heard of great ritches in places like this. . .wodnered where they actualy were. Luck for her and Crimson the apearence of Lotus and Italia was a big deal, it didn't take long to figure out where they were from the murmoreing crouds. The guard stoped the pair before they entered.
"Sir and madam," The paladin greeted. "The temple is closed for confessions."
"It's sort of Improtant," Crimson siad, struggleing to come up with a good lie. "I must take confesstion, we're leavien for a sojourn in Shottingham tomaorw and. . ."
The paldan drew his sword in a blinding motion, sencine Crimson's lie instantly. Crimson took advantage of the second it took to draw the weapon, drawing back as the broadsword impacted the ground, cuting a rut in the stone floor. Rogue stood on the blade, holding it down tightly. Crimson delivered a powerful hop to a nurve bundle at the base of the paladin's neck. By this time Steeleblly, who was standing in waiting pined rogue to the wall with his spear, but crimson snaped the spear like a twig, delivering a crushing blow to Steelbelly's jaw. The hedgehog fell, knck cold by the blow.
"Sloppy Crimson," Rogue siad, pulling the spearhead from the cape of her outfit. "You should know most paladins are minor telepaths."
"it is foolish to attack them in a temple," Crimson said. "We'll be blamed for it,"
"We're both already wanted." Rogue said. "Being wanted more means little to me."
"I Heard something," Lotus said, "Beyond the foyer,"
Italia stoped, "There are many Paldins. . ."
"No," Lotus siad, almost a whisper, "One of the first things I leanred from my mother is how to tell one sound from another, the sound of someone who belongs in a place, and some one who dousn't," She sniffed the air, "And they don't smell right,"
"Can you tell where are they now?" Italia asked,
Lotus sniffed the air again. "The foyer. . ."
There was a loud sound of metal on metal, yelling. . .something was wrong.
Italia and Lotus rushed into the foyer. . .then nothing
Nothing.
The foyer was empty, a moment ago there were almost a Dozen paladins at their tasks. . .now it was empty and early silent.
"What do you hear now?" Italia asked in an invlintary whisper.
"Silence," Lotus snifed the air, "No smells,"
"Where there is nothing something is hidden," Italia said.
"Or someone," Lotus said, stepig into the room,
A rustleing. . .
A distraction!
Lotus turned the opposite direction of the dleberate sound, threw a sledge-hammer blow away from her face. Another came, missing Lotus's face by a hair's lenth. Lotus retaliated, throwing a puch at the blurred form, it spun. . .and was gone. It was as if Lotus had threw her fist into air.
After the blinding battle, there was yet another eirie silence.
"I know your ways gaurdian," A voice said, from no particular direction.
Lotus tried to place it, could't figure out where it was comeing from.
"The best assassin knows his target,"
A hissing sound. . .Lotus rolled foreward, a section of the floor explodeing behind her from the imapct. . .
A Gyrojet,
Lotus reconized the round, it was from a unique pistol that was almost silent known as a Gyrojet, instead of fireing bullet it fired tiny caseless rockets, they usealy held some kind of poison.
Another,
this time in Italia's diretion!
Lotus dove, pushing her friend out of the way as the tiny rocket impacted with wooden chair, punching a fist-sized hole in it. Lotus ran in the direction of the sound, only to hear a shifting,
The Assasin was moveing!
Lotus planted her fists in a cement pillar, climbing it efforlessly, toward the sound of the shuffling assain,
I know where you are. . .
Lotus released one fist, swining her body form the pillar just as another bullet collided with the pillar, a black-chared crated the size of her head was in the cememnt, Lotus found herself relived that crater wasn't in the back of her head. Lotus Reached the top and released, glideing acorss the massive airspace in the foyer. . .and saw him! It was a bat, flying directly at her, releaseing a ear-shattering screech, lotus felt stuned, but colided with the bat, trowing him in midair. . .he recovered and spun, deliveing a Mid-air kick to lotus's head. It was hardly a blow, but Lotus lost he air blaance, diveing towards the ground. . .feeling the cold cement collide with her face.
"Did you see where he went?" Italia said, as she tried to help Lotus to her feet.
Lotus stood, still the slightest bit stunned from the fall, "Is this one of the bats that attack the paladins?"
"No. . .this one is. . ." Italia was twron aside by a powerful blow.
"Italia!" Lotus yelled,
Rogue emerged from the shadows, wearing a wry grin. Itala leaped to her feet, and charged the elderly bat, knowing from the forece of the blow that the woman was far from defenceless. Itala's martial arts skills were blidning, she delivered a dozen powerful blows, all effortlessly deflected by Rogue. Rogue retaliated with a tremendous blow to Italia's throat, sending her flying back. Italia used her own telepeanthy to catch herself, levetade a foot of the floor for a breif moment, and drifed back to the ground.
"My turn," Lotuss siad, faceing the old woman.
"Crimson?" Rogue said casualy.
Lotus felt a pari of arm wrap her into a submission hold. . they were incredibly strong. Lotus atemepted seapch but the hold was rapidly cutting off her air.
"You see child, my son Crimson is not a fighter, He is a killer." Rogue said. "He's usealy very eficent, you just happen t be a rather hard targat."
Lotus focussed a Chaos blast, sending Crimson flying off of her,
"You don't know how hard,"
Rogue Efofrletlessly blocked two blows. . .Lotus having a bit of trouble acknoledgeing the power of the old woman, who delivered a thunderos kick to Lotus' chest, stuning her. Another kick we far more painful. . .a cut, something slices through Lotus's leather armor on her chest, tearing a massive cut. Lutus immediately felt weakened, a poison was introduced in her blood. Lotus glanced down, there was a finger-sized blade, bathed in her blood at the end of Rogues left foot. . .a deadly weapon in the ahdns of a master. Rogues smiled grimly before she was hit from behind by a massive wooden chair, she collasped. Tiana was behind her, holding her arm at lenth, levetated a candle holder that flew at Crimson, who was attacking from another Angle. Crimson deflected the object, held his pistol high and fired,
"Tiana!" Lotus shouted, holding her own wound.
Tiana caught two of the bullets in mid-air, but the third sliped by, it sank into her shoulder, and after a beat exploded in her senidn an arch of red from the mangled wound.
The two caught bullet's fell. . .
Tiana went to her knees.
Lotus crawled to her weakly, her head spinning from the poison mingleing with her blood.
"Son. . ." Rogue gasped, holding her arm
Crimson rushed to his mother, grabed her and leaped, flying to the ceiling of the foyer. Crimson turend with an air of spite.
"Pray you or your friend won't live to see my rage." He siad, before mergieng with the shadows.
Lotus was struggleing to remmber her prayers:
"Our maker, our friend and protector, may this life stay with us in the world, as you have willed it in your perfect knoledge. . ."
When the end comes, I would rather die a warrior, on a cold muddy battlefeild, soaked in my own blood, than die a jibbering old man in a warm bed.
-Maurice D'coolette
The healers were sme of the best on Mobius, paladin healers used to wound far more magled than Italia's blasted shouler. They had worked on the wound for almost three hours, for now it was clean, and bandaged and Italia was resting, an IV slowly feeding her replecated Panda blood stabalize her. Lotus sat bedside her friend in the hospitol, comfortig her after the hellesh battle. It seemd like an eterney before Italia was strong enough to speak.
"Who. . was it?"
Lotus shook her head, "I could't tell, they were bats, probably assasins,"
". . .why?"
"I don't know," Lotus said, "Italia you need to rest,"
Italia sighed, nodded shallowly, "What did the healers say?"
Lotus sighed, "The bones in your right shoulder were comepltely shattered by the explotion,"
"My writing arm," Italia siad with a thin smile, "How will I sighn all those peace accords?"
Lotus grined, "If this tryst goes okay they'll be plenty of non-violence pacts comeing by the church,"
Italia sighed, glaned up into Lotus's eyes, "Kotetsu's heart is hardened, and he will do all he can to destroy you, ignore his insuls, their only words. He controlls the counsul, but the power of the maker is behind you. . ."
"I understand," Lotus siad, "I'm not afrid of Kotetsu, all he knows is politics,"
"Politics are very powerful," Italia said. "Don't underestimate the power of corruption, you need to face him on his own ground where he will have every advantage, it will seems as if all are agisnt you, but remember that you are right, live are at stake Lotus,"
"I know Italia," Lotus sid, almost a whisper. "Just rest, it'll be okay."
"I will pray,"
Lotus nodded, "I'll need it."
The Mobian laansraad is a joke of an institution, it was a flimsy mess of slef-serveing polticians who were either twisting the law to their benefit, or to cowardly to face up to the corupt members. Fighting it was like trying to climb an avalance. At least with Scor we only had one tyrant to deal with, I've yet to see how we can get the whole damn counsul to throw themselves out of a window.
-Kaben
Downundan Humorist
"The time for Heros is over." Kotetsu began his opening speech. "There was a time of tyrants, and evils, and atrocities, and in those time we needed legends like Sonic the hedgehog, Lupe of the wolf pack, the Chaotix, Geoffrey St. John and his secret service, but in these days. . .things are very different.
"We live in a modern and civilized age, where Jihad, rebellions and coups simply do not happen anymore. House D'coolete is really the the closest thing we have to an enemy, the closest thing he have to the overlanders, or Scor. They forsake the rule of war, of decency, all for their own purposes. They lost their soverinty in the War of Seperation, and every since have been whineing and complaining, prepareing for a day when the mobians were weak and diveded.
"This is that day, we spend our times wadering aobut with no real direction, no enemy to fight, no cause to unite for. We ar a virtual utopia, the last thig we have to do to achive near perfection, is destryo what's left of this corrupt house."
Aplause erupted from the counsul floor, Lotus wrinkled her fce in anger.
"The chiar now recognizes Sister Minor Lotus Hedgehog of the forest people." The arbitrator said, waveing an arm in Lotus's direction. "Who will be you Eclesiasties?"
"I have only one your honor," Lotus siad. "I will speak for myself."
"Very well," The arbitrator said. "Begin your opeing argument."
Lotus stood, walked to the center of the debate floor, purposely stanidng in front of Kotetsu, blocking his form the croud.
"Ladies and gentlmen, I'm not a politican." Lotus began. "Kotetsu is. Argueing politics with him would be foolish, because weather or not he's right about his war he will still convince you all to vote they way he wants through smear tactics, lies, threats, whatever's necisary."
"I object to this line of debate," Kotetsu said.
"Susstianed," The arbitrator siad. "The counsulman has not been guilty of any of those charges."
"You all know what I'm talking about." Lotus siad with spite. "Weather your legal red tape allows you to say it or not. I also remind you that I'm not a member of this cousul so I'll say what I damn well please."
The arbitrator was silent.
"Allright," Lotus siad, getting back on track. "Kotetsu is right, we live in a peaceful time but that's completely off topic. We're not talking aobut an age of heros or anyhting stupid like that, the message that got the paladins in the Tamin field in the first place was proven to be fake, the D'coolette don't even have a house guard, they can't afford anyhting but one personal bodygaurd for their Nobleman, Duke Azbek D'coolette. They had to sell their palace and move into the french quater of the city, into a cramped office building. They've even started selling their unifrms just so they can eat. We're not talking about a great house anymore, of corse you know all this. D'coolette simply has no money to hire ten thousand mercinarys, especialy the ones witnessed by the Paladins who survived. Kotetsu knows this, you all know this. And you also know that House Prower is allied with D'coolete to a point where they've hreatend to take up arms aginst anyone who thretens them, and we will be plunged into full-scale war over something we all know to be a trick by an unknown enemy."
"Objection!" Kotetsu shouted. "There is no proof of an unknown enemy,"
"Overuled," The Arbitrator siad. "Lotus's argument is known to be valad. The origin of the mercinarys has not been proven to be the D'coolettes."
"Are you blind?!?" Kotetu asked. "We all know the nature of the D'coolettes, crafy, cowardly, secrative, their very nature proves. . ."
The Arbitrator smashed his gavel into the table, "Enough!" He shouted. "This trist is between the counsul of the great houses and the Eclesiasty of the forest hedgehogs, Sister Lotus. Kotetsu, make your point and surender the floor to other's questioning."
Kotetsu scoweled, "Very well," he ajusted his papers, and began. "My point is that the D'coolettes have been threatening to make a moove like this for years, Lotus fears for her people's lands and I respect that, but we need to make an ultimatum. Lotus disagrees with this but I hear no sugestion as to what we actualy plan to do?"
Lotus sighed, Kotetsu's political double talk was starting to get sickening. "We do what the Aurorium paladans are already doing, set up defences a prepare for an attack."
"From what?" Kotetsu shouted.
"I don't know what they are," Lotus siad. "But from what the aurium has told us it's like nothing we every faced before."
"A wise choice from the D'cooltes," Kotetsu siad,
"Why do we give two shits where they came from?!?" Lotus yelled back.
"Sister, you will abstainf rom the use of prophanity on the deabte floor!" The Arbitrator said.
"Listen, sister Italia of the Sisterhood of thorns has had shout monitering the movement sof this army," Lotus siad. "Their headed up the coast road, strait for the weakest part of the city!"
"A sneak attack from the D'coolettes," Kotetsu siad. "Slimey and underhanded,"
"What does it matter?!?!" Lotus shouted, "If we're buisy wrining eachother's neck than this amry's going to march sriat to the capitol, you've spent so long argueing and argueing you ahvn't even bothered to figure out where they came from yet!"
"We know wher they came from," Kotetus siad.
"No we don't," a thin voice echoed from the chamber. "Arbitrator, I request the floor,"
The Arbitrator banged his gauvel, "The floor is granted to Maurice Bascom, Eclesiasty for Sonnu Hedgehog."
Marice stood nervoicely. "Listen everyone, I've been doing a lot of researh about this situation, the invadeing army has about ten thousand men. . ."
"We havn't proooved their invaders!" Kotetsu correctors,
"Cousulman Kotetsu St. John, if you interupt again I'll have you removed," The arbitrator siad.
Kotetsu sat grudingly behind his podium.
"As I was saying," Mauraice said, standing, "Well. . .their'a about ten thousand of these guys, and the combind forece of all the great hosues equals up to about two and a half million troops. This invadeing army is pretty small comapred to us, if we just unite now to repel them, than we can avoid having to. . .you know, like fight eachother,"
"Could you clarify counsulman?" The arbitrator asked.
"Well, to put it simply," Maurice pasued, "If the hedgehogs, and the St.johns team up agisnt house D'coolette than their allies house prower will start to defend them, but we all live in the same city and all. . ."
"Get to the point cousulman."
Maurice swallowd. "Kotetsu is wrong." He finaly siad. "We have no reason to attack house D'coolette. None whatsoever, they've shown absolutle no agression. If we start fighin them we'll send our armys agisnt eachother while another huge amry marches ight down our streets doing maker knows what to the undefended parts of the city."
Kotetsu stood, "Maurice, what are you doing, we share a party,"
Maruce's face grew angry. "No we don't. You own stock in the arms companys that proveide weapons and suplies to all the houses, if we go to war you get ritch," Maurice held up a Manila folder, "If you don't belive me this is a copy of Kotstus' stock portfolio, he actualy had his broker simulate the changes in the market if we went to war like that, and Kotetus would stand to make millions."
The arbitrator looked intrigued.
Kotetsu looked enraged,
"Secretary, get those forms for me." The arbitrator said.
The secretary ran up the flights of stairs and retreaved the folder. He ran it quickly back to the arbitrator who leafed through the folder intenetly.
"Cousulman Kotetsu, is it true that you invested twelve thousand Mobiums into Richardson firearms?"
"Your honor, one has to plan for. . ."
"Cousulman, the answer."
"They're a well known company," Kotetsu said. "Very promiseing stock weather or not we. . ."
"Yes or no."
Kotssu paused.
Long,
Longer. . .
"Yes."
"What about Brooktree blades?"
"Yes."
"And ANC Mutions?"
Kotetsu scoweled. "All reputable companys with riseing stocks it proves nothing."
"It proves you have a personal interest in their being a war," Maurice siad. "It proves your would prophit from it, and by law that makes the declaration of war you introduced null and void."
The arbitrator waved for the house guard to come to the platform. "Gentlemen, remove cousulman Kotetsu from the preceedings,"
"No!" Kotetus siad. "Justice must be done!"
Lotus smiled, "It has,"
The arbitraitor though, looking over papers. "Counsulman Muarice, you have a strong case against Kotetsu's actual support of the Declaration, but the declaration was co-intrduced by several members of the counsul. The vote will continue if someone seconds the declaration of war."
The room was silent, then a wolf in the back stood.
"I will second."
"The chair recognizes Cousluman Roland Archer, Eclesiasty for Lord Marcass St. John." The arbitraitor slamed down his gauvel. "The declaration is hereby re-enstated. The Vote will commence after closeing arguments, since Kotetsu failed to choose an ecclesiasty the closeing argument will be made by Sister Lotus Hedgehog, Eclesiasty for the forest hedgehogs."
Lotus sighed. "Listen, I can't apeal to you as polticals, I'm sure the kciback Kotetsu's giving you is more than enough to sway you that way, but I'm spealing to your common sence, and you common decensy. Kotetsu's wrong , we all know that, we have no reason to attack the Dcoolettes, and if we do we're just hgoing to wind up fighitng eachother in a pointless bloody war. Meewhile, invaders will pour into our streets and more people will die. If your corpt and shallow enough to sigh the death warrant for thousands of citizens then the Maker have mercy on you ebcuse the invaders won't. I'm going to go to the walls by the coast, with ever man that will follow me and I'm going to fight a real battle. Enjoy your private little war gentlemen, and I hope you mobiums are worth the blood that bought them."