Screwy Tenchi/Gundam wing cross over
This story contains a lot of Wufei bashing, it also contains some Zechs abuse but that wasn't planned so please don't kill us over that. If your wondering when in either series this takes place don't, its a comedy so we didn't sweat the details.
It was a dark and stormy night, the Misaki residence was quiet. Except behind one door leading into a broom closet behind the stairs, a broom closet into another dimension. (Twilight zone theme song).
"Washu would you let me go now? It's past midnight, and I have school tomorrow!"
(Munch munch) "C'mon Tenchi, using your hidden Jurai powers we can do a high powered locate scan on Gundanium alloy."
"What? What is that?"
"Gundanium alloy is a super tough metal that can only be forged in outer space. I need it to build my molecular mass displacer, and it is so hard to find in this primitive section of the universe. Mmmm, these carrots are pretty good.
Unseen by the mad scientist and her guinea pig a carrot slipped off the plate onto the floor. "Meow! munch munch."
They did however notice the second intruder fly in. "Ryo-Ohki where are you?" The tipsy Ryoko snatched the furry carrot thief from the floor, "I have been looking all over for....." She began, then stopped looking over to where Tenchi was tied in his underwear connected to a large machine with lots of blinking lights and cool dials. "Washu! What are you doing to MY Tenchi!!"
"Well" Washu began nonchalantly "I really need to find something, and with all his power Tenchi can be used as an energy source. So......"
Ryoko power crackled the air around her as her eyes began to glow with an unearthly light, "You're doing what? Why don't you go find some other power source and leave my Tenchi alone!" The aura of power grew until Washu noticed how it was affecting the machinery.
"No wait! Don't use your power here, you could set off the dimensional tuner again!!!"
"I DON'T CARE!" Suddenly all the lights in the lab began blinking furiously, and the dials began spinning. Washu started to blink in and out of the known universe. "Too late". She muttered as a multicolored hole swallowed the lab. Tenchi would have put his head in his hands if he wasn't tied to the machine, "Why me?" Tenchi, Ryoko, Washu, and Ryo-Ohki were all swallowed by the hole and vanished.
*Somewhere far far away not that much later..*
A truck transporting vegetables arrives at an Oz base in Libya. As the workers began to unload the shipment a discovery was made, part of the shipment was inexplicably missing. A hole was literally eaten though the metal crate, and the crate was empty. Every last carrot in the shipment had vanished. Two guards walked into the huge crate to investigate. A munching sound emanated from a dark corner, echoing sinisterly. The first guard shone his flashlight over to the corner to find.. An extremely cute creature that seemed to be a floppy eared rabbit. It looked up as the guards approached seeming entirely unafraid of humans.
"That's it?" One asked surprised "That little thing ate the entire shipment? What do we do with it?"
"Its a pest, just shoot it and we can leave." The guard pointed his gun at the creature. It looked at him innocently with its large golden eyes, giving him an instant guilt trip. Then it did two things that rabbits just don't do, first it meowed, then it delicately bit off the end of the gun, chewed, and swallowed.
*Somewhere else...*
Wufei walked slowly through the near empty back streets. He could hear someone shouting just around the corner ahead. As he came closer he could make out a woman's voice yelling at someone. As he turned the corner he saw a tall woman with spikey blue hair picking a fight with two Oz soldiers. Naturally he decided to intervene.
"What are you trying to do?" he asked "Women are too weak to fight soldiers, you're not even armed." The woman turned, "Weak?!" She glared at him, her golden cat-slited eyes blazing. An aura of menace and power seemed to build around her. The suitably intimidated guards took her distraction to flee, Wufei was not impressed. The last thing he saw was the woman's fist.
*Again in somewhere completely different....*
Tenchi looked around at his new surroundings. He was in an enormous hanger.
"Washu, where are we now?" glancing down he realized that he was still in his underwear. "Could I have my clothes back now?"
"Here you go." Washu answered as clothes materialized from one of her dimension holes. "As for where we are we seem to be in a military hanger or some kind of ...... ooooh. What's that?" Washu's gaze seemed to pull her whole body as she moved towards the Talgeez. She hoped up onto it happily and began to look it over. "Oh look at all these design flaws. Hmmm let my see..." She opened up one of the control panels and the sound of clanking machinery ensued.
Uh Washu you probably shouldn't touch that..." Tenchi began just as the door burst open and a group of men in dark blue uniforms rushed in.
"Hey you! What are you doing there?" Their leader demanded.
"I'm fixing it!" A voice replied from the Talgeez, cheerfully oblivious to the armed soldiers. Before they could make a move to arrest Tenchi another alarm sounded. "Someone's attacking the base!" Most of the soldiers turned and left. The clanking in the Talgeez paused, "Wait, is that? It's the Gundanium I was looking for!" Washu shouted happily as she teleported out, grabbed Tenchi, then teleported to ground zero in front of a handful of stunned Oz troops.
This led to a rather unfortunate situation. Zechs Marquise burst in warning the troops that the Gundams were attacking over his shoulder as he entered the mech that Washu had just "fixed". Before he could be warned about the tinkering of some crazy pink haired girl, and before the troops got over the sense of doom attached to his warning, The Talgeez was headed out of the hanger.
As Washu teleported out of the base she found herself staring at the Deathsythe and Sandrock destroying a couple of Leos. "Ah drat its in use." she said disappointed, summarizing that they were the source of the gundanium.
"There's a lot more then we expected." Quatre said determinedly over the com-link.
"Just hang in there, we can get these guys! Hey wait a sec." Duo said as he turned to face a new enemy. "They're shooting at a little pink haired girl over there!"
"What how could they? How did a she get here anyway?"
"What?" Duo stared with his trademark look of confusion. "The bullets aren't even coming close. It's like she has some kind of shield or something. She doesn't even seem concerned."
"No time for that now, more are coming!"
Tenchi was very disoriented to say the least as he watched the hail of bullets coming at him. "Washu what are we going to do now! Wait look," he said in a jumble as he pointed to the ongoing battle "Those guys are fighting the guys shooting at us, lets help them!"
"Hmmm," Washu thought out loud ignoring Tenchi, "If I help them, then I can find out where they got the gundanium."
"What is that girl doing?" both pilots thought in unison before they were suddenly distracted by the appearance of the Talgeez on the field. The mech began a rather impressive stare down with the two gundams.... for all of about three seconds and then it ran away.
"Quatre, what is Zechs doing?"
"It looks like he's running away."
"Why would he do that?" As the Tallgeez disappeared over the horizon a transmission came over the radio, "WHY AREN'T THE CONTROLS WORKING? WILL SOMEBODY STOP THIS DAMNED MACHINE!!!"
The two gundams and all the Oz troops capable of hearing the transmission stopped in stunned silence for a few seconds before the battle rejoined. The fight was stopped by a blaze of energy that annihilated roughly half of the base, but did not harm either of the two gundams.
*Meanwhile back in Libya.*
The two scientists peered into the cage containing the odd rabbit-like creature.
"An odd creature," one commented "where do you think it comes from?"
"Could it be some kind of genetically altered creature from the colonies?"
"Maybe, but what sort of trouble could this little thing cause?"
"I don't know, we'll have to run some more tests." As the scientists began to walk away they were distracted by a munching sound coming from behind them. Turning they saw the creature finish eating its way through the steel cage. "What!" the scientist yelled in alarm. The other turned to chase the creature, leaving the door wide open. The oddly shaped cat-rabbit was surprisingly fast and the two scientists were soon out of breath. The creature looked back at them innocently.
"Meow?"
The room became quiet except for the sound of a conversation taking place just outside the open doorway. "They're serving boiled carrots in the cafeteria again!"
"MEOW!!" they creature squealed taking off at a run, and moving straight through a solid wall. The scientist stood up, "If I didn't know any better I'd swear that thing understood what they were saying."
*Back in that other place again.*
Wufei slowly opened his eyes, pain. It felt like his head had been hit with a sledgehammer. "You're awake." a female voice said from somewhere. His eyes slowly cleared to see the figure of Sally Po over him. "I found you knocked out several days ago. What happened?"
"Grumble don't ask grumble."
*You guessed it, back to that place*
The two stopped in front of Washu and Tenchi, who has finally managed to get dressed. The compartments opened, as Duo jumped down he asked, "What did you do?"
Washu grinned "Oh, well first I analyzed the structure of your mechs, then I figured that a supersonic sound burst at frequency .097658935 would shatter everything except your mechs because that frequency simply bounces off gundanium, and my shield because I'm perfect." The two pilots fell silent looking confused, Quattre with his usual innocent expression, Duo just looked bewildered. Duo nodded slowly and commented "You remind me of someone, but I can't think of who....."
"Well they must be a genius because I'm a genius!"
"Ahh, anyway thanks for the help. I'm Duo and this poor confused guy is Quattre.
"I am Washu the best scientific genius in the universe, and this is Tenchi Masaki."
"What are you two doing here anyway?"
"Well I was originally running an experiment to find gundanium, but that was sabotaged and when I arrived here I noticed that your mechs were made of gundanium, and I was hoping you could help me collect some for my experiments.
*And in Libya*
"Meow."
"Look at that thing. Isn't it cute?" One of the soldiers said looking down at the creature on the floor.
"What is it?" the other asked "Is it some kind of pest?"
"I don't think so, it must be a pet."
"I think it wants some food."
"MEOW!!"
"Wow, it's like it understands what we're saying!" The guard looked down at Ryo-Ohki, "Do you want a carrot?"
"Meow MEOW MEEOOWW!!!" Ryo-Ohki began to jump up and down enthusiastically until the man dropped the carrot. Soon the cute cabbit was getting all the carrots she wanted from the soldiers which was quite a lot. Just when she was being adopted as the barracks mascot the scientists finally caught up with her.
"There you are!" Ryo-Ohki looked up innocently at the scientist. A nearby officer blinked in surprise.
"You were looking for this rabbit?"
"This "rabbit" is a strange species. It's more dangerous than it looks."
"This cute little thing?"
Hand me your saber."
"Huh?" The officer held the little cabbit closely.
"I'm not going to hurt it, just let me show you something." The officer handed over the sword. The scientist leveled the blade at the cabbit who gave the point the same treatment that she had given the gun earlier with much the same follow up. The scientist handed back the blade to the stunned officer and retrieved the cabbit. He walked out as the officer stared at the bite marks in his saber.
*In a new place*
The defenses of the base fell effortlessly, the Shenlong's fire tearing through the enemies like paper. Wufei was letting of steam. The enemies vanished almost instantly . Too easy for Wufei's liking. Just as he was leaving he caught a familiar flash of blue just opposite the base. It was her. He moved in that direction.
"You should get out of here woman!" he shouted. If he was surprised when the woman vanished then he was absolutely stunned when she reappeared nose to nose with him. She was leaning through the metal in the front of his mech.
"Oh it's you again. Come back for more?" She said smirking. Wufei blinked, then regained enough composure to grab his sword and swing at..... nothing. Looking around he found she was once again outside, and firing at him, apparently from the palms of her hands!
Before the fight could start a mobile suit appeared over the horizon. The Talgeez swept past them jerking at crazy angles. The com burst into activity, "SOMEBODY STOP THIS THING!!!" Then it was gone as quickly as it had come, and the battle ensued.
*That place in Libya*
"We've got it cornered!" the scientist shouted as he closed in on the small creature. Suddenly a blue haired woman poked her head through the wall and looked around. "There you are Ryo-Ohki!" she shouted grabbing the creature by the scruff of the neck and turning to walk straight back through the wall. The stunned scientists could only stare, until the radio picked up a message, "WHY WON'T THIS THING STOP!" Zech's voice bared and that incident was almost as strange as the first.
*In the newest place*
The Wing and Heavyarms found the Shenlong half demolished and abandoned in a forest closed to a destroyed Oz base. The two mechs left soon afterwards in search of Wufei. At the same time wondering what could have happened to the Gundam.
*Back in the place... You know the place, but at a different time*
Barely a few hours later, another pair of gundams this time accompanied by Washu and Tenchi, also found the damaged Shenlong. They disembarked to investigate. Duo blinked at the damage, "What happened here?" Washu was already scanning the wreckage with her small computer.
"Ok, I recognize this energy pattern, it was Ryoko!"
"What kind of weapon was Ryoko using?
"She doesn't use one." Washu replied blandly.
"Who or What is Ryoko!?"
"Ryoko's my daughter." Both Duo and Quattre took a few steps back. Duo stopped a minute considering the fact that this supposed mother didn't look more than twelve years old. Before that line of thought could be continued. The Talgeez flew wildly across the sky, then arched back and crashed over the other wreck in a shower of sparks. The cockpit was battered open from the inside and Zechs stumbled out battered, bruised, his clothes torn and scorched, his drawn saber bent in three places, with a slight aura of static electricity.
Washu looked slightly upset. "What happened to it? It was working on it."
"You're.... the one.... who sabotaged...... my mobile suit?"
"Sabotaged? I was improving it! The main problem with that machine is it will eventually kill the pilot with the speed it goes at, so I had to find a way to protect the pilot. However, that would ruin the crucial speed advantage it the slow pilot stayed in control so I had to make the machine independent of the pilot, which eliminated the need for most of the controls except the on button which I had to put on the inside or it would be a chink in the armor. Then it took a lot to build the AI so I gave it a self-preservation instinct. As for the off button, I removed it because it was in my was and it looked funny."
Zechs twitched psychotically a few times, then snarled "I'll kill you!" He tried to lunge at Washu, but only succeeded in falling flat on his face and passing out, days of fighting the Talgeez's self defense mechanisms in a wildly moving mobile suit with no food or sleep taking their toll.
"What should we do with him?" Quattre asked.
"We should kill him, he's a enemy officer."
"We can't kill him now, not when he's looking so pathetic anyway."
"So, I'd be putting him out of his misery?"
"Duo!"
"Well he overacted didn't he?" Washu commented to Tenchi.
"I think his reaction was quite normal. I told you not to touch it!" Tenchi exclaimed exasperated.
*In the place that is the new new place because the other new place has been used a couple times.*
Nearly a day later The Wing and Heavyarms found the oddly suicidal Wufei camped out in the forest. Strangely enough it was Trowa who spoke first, "What happened to your Gundam?"
"........."
"If there is something out there that can take down a Gundam, than we have to know what we're up against." Heero said deadpan.
"It was a personal matter."
"We still have to know what it was."
"......... I was beaten by a woman." He said as if he was declaring his own death sentence.
"Well what was she using?"
"Nothing."
".........." The two just stared at him, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, that as far as I can tell she was flying on her own and shooting without a weapon."
They moved back a few paces, a bit worried for his sanity. "Do you think he's lost it?"
"Maybe, but how do you explain the wrecked mobile suit?"
"Maybe that drove him over the edge?"
To be continued.....
Well that is the first installment, if it gets some good reviews we'll continue the story. It can continue faster is someone out there can think of what Zechs will do when he wakes up, again sorry to his fans out there, but that's just the way things worked out.