Note before the story: Okay, here goes a story about my favourite non-canon CCS couple. What can I say? It's got more hints than Tomoyo and Eriol, more interesting than Sakura and Syaoran, less obvious than Sakura and Tomoyo, stranger than Touya and Yukito, and... well, not incestuous like Mei-Ling and Syaoran. Sure, it couldn't happen in a gazillion years, but... well, when has that ever stopped anyone?
The skies are grey, and twilight has just begun to dust the streets in silky fog. It will rain soon, I know it. Why did I pick today to visit her? Of all days, I picked the most miserably foggy and sad. The bouquet ruffles as I adjust in my seat. I see a huge brick building with a large yard vaguely through the mist-- that must be it.
"Pull over here, please," I choke out. The chauffer stops and moves over.
"Thank you," I whisper, jiggling the knob of the door until it opens. My hands are shaking. Why...? It's just another visit, a visit like any other. The door finally gives, and I step out of the black limo. Dressed to kill, like any other day, my hair perfectly combed and straight, my makeup flawless. Daidouji Sonomi, the picture of the modern woman. My heels click against the jagged rocky sidewalk, making my way to the graveyard.
The gate opens with a creak, and I pray that nobody will mind my intruding at this hour. I know my way perfectly well. The ankle-high grass is still wet with dew, and I realize my feet will be soaking by the time I make it to her. Who will care? Who will see?
There's another figure, of course. I cock my head slightly to the right. It seems to be at her grave too. Please don't let it be...
"Daidouji-san?" he says politely. Yes, it is he. As I get closer, I can make out that impossibly charming smile and that handsome face.
"Oh, please," I say with more than a slight hint of sarcasm, "Call me Sonomi-chan."
He laughs, a low chuckle. We both look down at the ground, recognizing the mutual reason we have come. He drops a bouquet on the dirt-- sakura, nadesiko, wisteria, and peach blossoms --her family. I drop mine, too, which I have been clutching without knowing.
I finally look up, at the man who took my Nadesiko away. What is that look on his face? Sympathy? Care? Smugness? Sadness? Adrenaline surges through my body as it always does when I am face to face with him. Anger clouds all common sense.
He takes one step toward me. I lift my chin and turn my head away slightly. Defiantly, I stand my ground.
"Daidouji-san..."
"I loved Nadesiko," I exhale. "Love Nadesiko!"
"She loved you too," he says softly.
"Not the way I love her," I said thickly. Tears cloud my eyes worse than the fog itself. Where did that come from? Why am I telling these kinds of things to him... the one who took my Nadesiko?
My head hangs in shame... yes, I am about to cry in front of the man that I hate more than anything. I turn away, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. Bring my hands to my eyes... don't let him see, no matter what....
He lays his hand on my back, and I know what's coming next. Yet, like the selfish person I am, I do nothing to stop him. Because I want him to.
His other arm reaches in front of me and he wraps me in a hug. I am limp, helpless to do anything, and enjoying it. I want Fujitaka-san to hug me. He smells like sweat and aftershave, I realize as I press my face into his shirt. My arms suddenly begin to feel again, and I push him away as quickly as I can. He steps back, perhaps surprised by my sudden action.
"I love Nadesiko!" I cough out, between heaving sobs. "I love Nadesiko! You... took... my... Nadesiko..."
The feeling inside me bursts, like an overfilled balloon. Energy flows through my veins, replacing blood, and I start running. Of course I trip... I'm in high heels...
I'm on my knees, in the dirt, heaving like a child before the man I hate with all the life that flows through me. Hate. I hate him... yet there are thin lines to be crossed between love and hate...
He's there in a second, of course, helping me up. His arms are on my shoulders, pulling me, making sure not to touch me anywhere more familiar. Slowly I turn my head, as though in a dream, staring into his eyes. I can see myself in his glasses. I look horrible, my eyes clouded over, my hair in a mess from my tumble, and a streak of mud going up my cheek. I'm such a fool...
Very gently, he wipes away the dirt from my cheek. This has to be a dream... I can barely see him through my tears now. I should have waited until I had more sleep to go... I must be getting emotional from lack of sleep... that's it. My brain is hazy like the fog surrounding Fujitaka-san and me.
He leans closer. "Daijoubu ka?"
I smile bitterly, hardly believing this is happening. The man I hate half-holding me up, our faces inches away, in front of the graveyard of the woman we both loved.
It was I who leaned in first. Very, very gently, as though I was about to break, I brushed his lips with mine. He pulls back and looks at me, a little surprised, as a first drop of rain begins to fall on my head. I smile and lean in again, finally feeling awake, pushing myself upright and wrapping my arms around his neck. His hand grazes my hair and touches my neck softly. He kisses me back. This feeling, this happiness... it reminds me of being by...
His kiss is as gentle as he is. I start to deepen it as I finish the sentence. He reminds me of Nadesiko.
I pull away, part of me fighting the urge to pin him to the ground and tell him what I need to-- that I no longer need Nadesiko-chan, that I am finally my own self, and that I love him as I hated him... but that's not what I can do.
Rain beats down on both of us. He gently flicks away a strand of my auburn hair. "Sonomi..."
"I have to go," I whisper. How could I do something so unlike me? How could I betray...
Starting away quickly, I left him, holding back the tears that I knew would come. I was betraying Nadesiko. I made my way out of the graveyard, fumbling and groping till I found the car. The door opened smoothly, unlike last time. I fell in, a heaving wet ball of mixed emotions.
Through the rain-splattered window, I saw Fujitaka make his way out and walk away. Everything in me screamed to open the door, run after him, admit what I wanted to tell him...
I had crossed the thin line, and there was no turning back. But I had no choice... it was either betray Nadesiko or betray myself.
My chauffer tossed her hair over her shoulder, waiting for command.
"Home," I heaved through my tears.
~owari~
A/N: Yup, Sonomi and Fujitaka. WTF? you may ask. Doesn't Sonomi hate Fujitaka? Well, first off, Fujitaka's so darn nice that he shows more than fleeting moments of affection for obsessive Sonomi. And she does warm up to him on occasion. And... well, I just like it. ^_^
The skies are grey, and twilight has just begun to dust the streets in silky fog. It will rain soon, I know it. Why did I pick today to visit her? Of all days, I picked the most miserably foggy and sad. The bouquet ruffles as I adjust in my seat. I see a huge brick building with a large yard vaguely through the mist-- that must be it.
"Pull over here, please," I choke out. The chauffer stops and moves over.
"Thank you," I whisper, jiggling the knob of the door until it opens. My hands are shaking. Why...? It's just another visit, a visit like any other. The door finally gives, and I step out of the black limo. Dressed to kill, like any other day, my hair perfectly combed and straight, my makeup flawless. Daidouji Sonomi, the picture of the modern woman. My heels click against the jagged rocky sidewalk, making my way to the graveyard.
The gate opens with a creak, and I pray that nobody will mind my intruding at this hour. I know my way perfectly well. The ankle-high grass is still wet with dew, and I realize my feet will be soaking by the time I make it to her. Who will care? Who will see?
There's another figure, of course. I cock my head slightly to the right. It seems to be at her grave too. Please don't let it be...
"Daidouji-san?" he says politely. Yes, it is he. As I get closer, I can make out that impossibly charming smile and that handsome face.
"Oh, please," I say with more than a slight hint of sarcasm, "Call me Sonomi-chan."
He laughs, a low chuckle. We both look down at the ground, recognizing the mutual reason we have come. He drops a bouquet on the dirt-- sakura, nadesiko, wisteria, and peach blossoms --her family. I drop mine, too, which I have been clutching without knowing.
I finally look up, at the man who took my Nadesiko away. What is that look on his face? Sympathy? Care? Smugness? Sadness? Adrenaline surges through my body as it always does when I am face to face with him. Anger clouds all common sense.
He takes one step toward me. I lift my chin and turn my head away slightly. Defiantly, I stand my ground.
"Daidouji-san..."
"I loved Nadesiko," I exhale. "Love Nadesiko!"
"She loved you too," he says softly.
"Not the way I love her," I said thickly. Tears cloud my eyes worse than the fog itself. Where did that come from? Why am I telling these kinds of things to him... the one who took my Nadesiko?
My head hangs in shame... yes, I am about to cry in front of the man that I hate more than anything. I turn away, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. Bring my hands to my eyes... don't let him see, no matter what....
He lays his hand on my back, and I know what's coming next. Yet, like the selfish person I am, I do nothing to stop him. Because I want him to.
His other arm reaches in front of me and he wraps me in a hug. I am limp, helpless to do anything, and enjoying it. I want Fujitaka-san to hug me. He smells like sweat and aftershave, I realize as I press my face into his shirt. My arms suddenly begin to feel again, and I push him away as quickly as I can. He steps back, perhaps surprised by my sudden action.
"I love Nadesiko!" I cough out, between heaving sobs. "I love Nadesiko! You... took... my... Nadesiko..."
The feeling inside me bursts, like an overfilled balloon. Energy flows through my veins, replacing blood, and I start running. Of course I trip... I'm in high heels...
I'm on my knees, in the dirt, heaving like a child before the man I hate with all the life that flows through me. Hate. I hate him... yet there are thin lines to be crossed between love and hate...
He's there in a second, of course, helping me up. His arms are on my shoulders, pulling me, making sure not to touch me anywhere more familiar. Slowly I turn my head, as though in a dream, staring into his eyes. I can see myself in his glasses. I look horrible, my eyes clouded over, my hair in a mess from my tumble, and a streak of mud going up my cheek. I'm such a fool...
Very gently, he wipes away the dirt from my cheek. This has to be a dream... I can barely see him through my tears now. I should have waited until I had more sleep to go... I must be getting emotional from lack of sleep... that's it. My brain is hazy like the fog surrounding Fujitaka-san and me.
He leans closer. "Daijoubu ka?"
I smile bitterly, hardly believing this is happening. The man I hate half-holding me up, our faces inches away, in front of the graveyard of the woman we both loved.
It was I who leaned in first. Very, very gently, as though I was about to break, I brushed his lips with mine. He pulls back and looks at me, a little surprised, as a first drop of rain begins to fall on my head. I smile and lean in again, finally feeling awake, pushing myself upright and wrapping my arms around his neck. His hand grazes my hair and touches my neck softly. He kisses me back. This feeling, this happiness... it reminds me of being by...
His kiss is as gentle as he is. I start to deepen it as I finish the sentence. He reminds me of Nadesiko.
I pull away, part of me fighting the urge to pin him to the ground and tell him what I need to-- that I no longer need Nadesiko-chan, that I am finally my own self, and that I love him as I hated him... but that's not what I can do.
Rain beats down on both of us. He gently flicks away a strand of my auburn hair. "Sonomi..."
"I have to go," I whisper. How could I do something so unlike me? How could I betray...
Starting away quickly, I left him, holding back the tears that I knew would come. I was betraying Nadesiko. I made my way out of the graveyard, fumbling and groping till I found the car. The door opened smoothly, unlike last time. I fell in, a heaving wet ball of mixed emotions.
Through the rain-splattered window, I saw Fujitaka make his way out and walk away. Everything in me screamed to open the door, run after him, admit what I wanted to tell him...
I had crossed the thin line, and there was no turning back. But I had no choice... it was either betray Nadesiko or betray myself.
My chauffer tossed her hair over her shoulder, waiting for command.
"Home," I heaved through my tears.
~owari~
A/N: Yup, Sonomi and Fujitaka. WTF? you may ask. Doesn't Sonomi hate Fujitaka? Well, first off, Fujitaka's so darn nice that he shows more than fleeting moments of affection for obsessive Sonomi. And she does warm up to him on occasion. And... well, I just like it. ^_^