You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
By Voodoo
Chapter 2: I Beg Of You, Don't Say Goodbye
A/N: Heya! Well, tis Voodoo again!! Yeah, I know, so soon? Amazing for me! Well, that last chapter was soooo short that I felt I needed to make it up, so here's the next chapter! Oh, and thanks to Shasta for coming up with a name for the little tyke! I won't tell you here... you'll find out soon enough!
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I don't own Newsies, go bug Disney!
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September 17, 1887
"CHOLERA!" the word spread through the huddle of wagons like wildfire. James, who had been discussing how to further ration water with another man in the camp, jumped when a child ran up to him and said, "It's Cholera, the man said!!"
"Wait! What are you talking about? Who has cholera?" James asked the boy, who was looking as though he hadn't had this much excitement in a long time.
"Oh, lots of people!! You can go over there and see for yourself!" the boy told him, and then ran off to spread the news. James shook his head and said goodbye to the other man and headed back to his wagon. They were camped outside of Fort Laramie and finally had access to a doctor.
James quickened his pace as he strained to remember the symptoms of cholera. His memory was fuzzy, be he remembered hearing something about nausea and diarrhea and dehydration. He remembered how Agnes was thirstier then usual recently, but he dismissed the fact in his mind. It was quite warm outside and Agnes was pregnant, so she needed more water than usual. That was all.
When James reached the wagon, he found his son sitting on the seat, his eyes widened, looking scared and quite alone. He ran up and asked him what was the matter.
"That doctor man came up and asked to inspect Mama and me. So we let him and he told me I was fine, but he made Mama go with him over there." The child told him, pointing to the mini camp along the walls of the Fort, where the cholera patients were being kept. James' throat went dry, and he forced himself to stay calm.
"Listen to me. Get changed and go to bed. Stay in bed until I come back. Promise me!" he said, struggling to keep the panic out of his voice. His pale blue eyes couldn't mask the worry, and the boy sensed this, but said nothing except "Yes, dad" and he disappeared into the back of the wagon to go to bed. As soon as his son was out of site, James walked over to the cholera camp, trying to make his pace seem normal. He reached the camp quickly and forced himself to remain calm.
"Excuse me, I was wondering if my wife was here. My son told me she was brought away with the doctor in this general direction." He said to a man nearby. The man raised an eyebrow and said,
"You shouldn't be here. You don't want to get it, do you?"
James shook his head. "No, I don't want to get it. But I need to see my wife!"
The man sighed. "Very well. Wait here for a moment, I'll go find the doctor. What is your wife's name?"
"Agnes Johnston." James told him, and the man went into the nearest tent, emerging a few moments later with the doctor.
"Ah, you're Agnes' husband?" the doctor asked, smiling, attempting to look cheerful.
"Yes, I am. How is she? Why is she here? Is it the baby?" The questions came flowing from James' mouth, and the doctor smiled, though his eyes were worried.
"No, it's not the baby. The baby is as well as can be expected. However...." and the doctor's voice trailed off. James' eyes grew large.
"However?" he repeated, waiting for an answer. The doctor sighed.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your wife has cholera. She has had it for awhile, apparently. I asked her if she had been unusually thirsty recently, or if she had felt nauseous or had diarrhea. She said that almost a month ago she started to vomit every once in awhile during the mornings. She tried to dismiss it as morning sickness, but she was already in her 6th month, so that should have long stopped. And she has apparently been very thirsty recently, but she also tried to dismiss that by it being so hot and she being pregnant and therefore needing more water. The fact is, Mr. Johnston, your wife has had cholera for about a month and she's known it."
James blinked, his jaw dropped down in amazement. "You mean... she knew?" he stuttered, disbelief clouding his tone.
The Doctor nodded. "I'm afraid so. She didn't want to worry you or the boy, but she knew. She's a smart one, that Agnes. I'll be sorry to see her go."
At the doctor's final words, James snapped awake. "What do you mean, 'see her go'! She's not going to die! Is she?"
"Yes. She is." The doctor told him, not meeting his eyes. James' eyes grew wild.
"But you're a DOCTOR!! Do something to HELP her! That's your JOB, isn't it?!" He cried, furious. The doctor took a step away from him and shook his head.
"There's nothing I can do. If she had gotten it yesterday, then perhaps I could have done something. But she's had it for so long, there's simply nothing any of us can do but wait for the end." The doctor explained, and James' face became incredibly pale. He nodded and turned and walked away back to the wagon.
The little boy, of course, wasn't asleep. He pretended to be once his father was near enough to see him, but his father ignored him. He paced around the wagon with his pipe between his teeth, murmuring to himself. It was late when he finally went to bed. The boy was still awake and determined to find out what had happened. As soon as he could hear his father's snores from the tent, he climbed very carefully out of the wagon and ran to the doctor's quarters.
He searched the tents and soon found his mother, lying pale and listless on a cot in the far corner of one of the farthest tents. He crept to her slowly, his little eyes widening with fear and sadness as he looked down on her.
Agnes sensed someone's presence and forced herself to open her eyes. She saw her son and smiled softly.
"Lawrence, what are you doing here?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper. The little boy's eyes started were frightened at the frailty she possessed.
"Mama, are you ok?" he whispered, and she shook her head.
"I'm not right now, but I will be soon. Listen to me, Lawrence. I won't be here for much longer. I'm going on to a better place. But I want you to promise me that you'll take good care of your Papa. He needs you." She told him, taking his small hand in hers. He looked down into her eyes and saw the peacefulness in them. He sighed and nodded.
"I promise, mama." He vowed, and she smiled, and stroked his head.
"Now, go on back to bed. Don't let Papa know you came to see me, ok?" She told him, and he nodded and ran out of the tent.
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The next morning when James woke up, he momentarily forgot about Agnes and the cholera. Then, when he rolled over and found she wasn't there, and she wasn't outside making breakfast, he remembered. He leaped up out of his bed and was about to sprint to the cholera camp when he remembered he wasn't dressed. He threw on some clothes as quickly as he could and ran to his wife.
He entered a tent without permission from the doctor or anyone else. Some of the patients gave him strange looks, but he ignored them, searching for Agnes. When he saw she was no-where to be found in that tent, he left and ran to the next one, with again no success. He exited from that tent and was about to continue on when he saw the doctor and another man carrying a wooden coffin from one of the tents. His heart lurched and he hurried over to the doctor.
"Doctor... sir... who was that?" James asked croakily as the other man placed the coffin in the grave near the edge of the fort. The doctor looked up at James and gave him half a smile.
"Not your wife, if that's what you were worrying about. It was his son." The Doctor told him, and pointed to the man whose family had been traveling in front of them. His 6-year-old son Tom now lay in that wooden coffin, soon to be beneath the dust of the trail, forgotten after the train continued on. James's heart wrenched again and he imagined his own son in that coffin. He shuddered and the doctor gave a hollow chuckle.
"Not a pretty picture, is it?" He commented, sighing. "If you're looking for your wife, she's in there." He instructed James, showing him the last tent. James nodded and set off, entering the tent to find most of the patients asleep. "At least, I hope they're asleep." He thought to himself, and then he spotted his wife.
"Agnes!" he cried, rushing to her side. Her pale eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a small smile. Her breathing was quiet and irregular now.
"How...how...how do you feel?" James stuttered, taking her hands in his and looking down into her eyes. She had a serene glow all around her, and he wondered if she knew she was dying, too.
"I'll be fine soon. It won't be long now..." Her voice trailed off and she smiled at him again. "How is Lawrence. Does he know?"
James shook his head. So she did know. "No. He doesn't. I haven't told him anything."
Agnes nodded. "Good. He doesn't need to know until the end."
"Do you want me to bring him to you? So you can say... goodbye?"
Agnes paused for a moment thoughtfully, then nodded again. "Yes. I need to say goodbye before it is too late." James nodded swiftly, then hurried out of the tent at a run. He reached his wagon and hurriedly awoke his son.
"Lawrence. Get up!" He said, shaking his son awake. The boy turned and looked up at his father, confused.
"Your mother needs to speak with you. HURRY!" James said, quickly gathering some clothes.
"Here, put these on. Quickly now!" James tossed the clothes to the boy, who stood dazed for a moment as the clothes landed on him. James noticed him and sighed. "Don't just stand there, we haven't got much time!"
Lawrence nodded and changed as quickly as he could. As soon as he got his shoes on, his father dragged him out the door and led him to the last tent, where his mother was waiting. They entered and she smiled at both of them, although she seemed even farther away then she had been those short moments ago.
Agnes took a hand from each of them and held them together in her own. "I won't be here for much longer. I needed to say goodbye, and to tell you to not be frightened. I love you both very much, and I'll always be with you."
James tried hard to control the tears threatening to flow down from his eyes, while Lawrence was strangely calm. He nodded obediently when his mother finished talking and said, "I love you, Mama."
"I love you, too." Agnes told him, squeezing their hands, and closing her eyes. James watched as the rise and fall of her chest ceased and her hands went limp. Then he couldn't stop the tears, and he threw himself over her, crying. Lawrence, however, sat very still, as though in shock. He got up and told his father, "I'm going to go play with Tom."
"You can't, Tom's dead too!" James spat through his tears, and Lawrence's eyes widened.
"Oh... well, I'm going back to the wagon, then." He said, and walked out of the tent as if he were in a dream. Mama was gone. Tom was gone. Who was left? Just him and Papa. And Mama had said to take good care of Papa after she had gone. How must he do that? Papa was so much bigger than he was...
James got up after a few moments, and then went to give the Doctor word of Agnes' death. The doctor's eyes saddened a great deal, and he nodded. "We'll see to the burial right away."
"Thank you, Doctor." James said, and he turned and walked back to the wagon.
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THE END OF CHAPTER 2
Ok, this was kinda short, too... so shoot me! BLAH to that! OK, yeah, anyways... thanks to Smalls and Tiger who are the only ones who've reviewed this so far! And to Smalls, I guess it won't make much sense for a little while longer... I know what's going to happen, it's just the getting there that's the problem! Yeah, I guess that's all. PLEASE review it!! I'd love you forever if you did! THANKS!
~*Voodoo*~
By Voodoo
Chapter 2: I Beg Of You, Don't Say Goodbye
A/N: Heya! Well, tis Voodoo again!! Yeah, I know, so soon? Amazing for me! Well, that last chapter was soooo short that I felt I needed to make it up, so here's the next chapter! Oh, and thanks to Shasta for coming up with a name for the little tyke! I won't tell you here... you'll find out soon enough!
Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, I don't own Newsies, go bug Disney!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
September 17, 1887
"CHOLERA!" the word spread through the huddle of wagons like wildfire. James, who had been discussing how to further ration water with another man in the camp, jumped when a child ran up to him and said, "It's Cholera, the man said!!"
"Wait! What are you talking about? Who has cholera?" James asked the boy, who was looking as though he hadn't had this much excitement in a long time.
"Oh, lots of people!! You can go over there and see for yourself!" the boy told him, and then ran off to spread the news. James shook his head and said goodbye to the other man and headed back to his wagon. They were camped outside of Fort Laramie and finally had access to a doctor.
James quickened his pace as he strained to remember the symptoms of cholera. His memory was fuzzy, be he remembered hearing something about nausea and diarrhea and dehydration. He remembered how Agnes was thirstier then usual recently, but he dismissed the fact in his mind. It was quite warm outside and Agnes was pregnant, so she needed more water than usual. That was all.
When James reached the wagon, he found his son sitting on the seat, his eyes widened, looking scared and quite alone. He ran up and asked him what was the matter.
"That doctor man came up and asked to inspect Mama and me. So we let him and he told me I was fine, but he made Mama go with him over there." The child told him, pointing to the mini camp along the walls of the Fort, where the cholera patients were being kept. James' throat went dry, and he forced himself to stay calm.
"Listen to me. Get changed and go to bed. Stay in bed until I come back. Promise me!" he said, struggling to keep the panic out of his voice. His pale blue eyes couldn't mask the worry, and the boy sensed this, but said nothing except "Yes, dad" and he disappeared into the back of the wagon to go to bed. As soon as his son was out of site, James walked over to the cholera camp, trying to make his pace seem normal. He reached the camp quickly and forced himself to remain calm.
"Excuse me, I was wondering if my wife was here. My son told me she was brought away with the doctor in this general direction." He said to a man nearby. The man raised an eyebrow and said,
"You shouldn't be here. You don't want to get it, do you?"
James shook his head. "No, I don't want to get it. But I need to see my wife!"
The man sighed. "Very well. Wait here for a moment, I'll go find the doctor. What is your wife's name?"
"Agnes Johnston." James told him, and the man went into the nearest tent, emerging a few moments later with the doctor.
"Ah, you're Agnes' husband?" the doctor asked, smiling, attempting to look cheerful.
"Yes, I am. How is she? Why is she here? Is it the baby?" The questions came flowing from James' mouth, and the doctor smiled, though his eyes were worried.
"No, it's not the baby. The baby is as well as can be expected. However...." and the doctor's voice trailed off. James' eyes grew large.
"However?" he repeated, waiting for an answer. The doctor sighed.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your wife has cholera. She has had it for awhile, apparently. I asked her if she had been unusually thirsty recently, or if she had felt nauseous or had diarrhea. She said that almost a month ago she started to vomit every once in awhile during the mornings. She tried to dismiss it as morning sickness, but she was already in her 6th month, so that should have long stopped. And she has apparently been very thirsty recently, but she also tried to dismiss that by it being so hot and she being pregnant and therefore needing more water. The fact is, Mr. Johnston, your wife has had cholera for about a month and she's known it."
James blinked, his jaw dropped down in amazement. "You mean... she knew?" he stuttered, disbelief clouding his tone.
The Doctor nodded. "I'm afraid so. She didn't want to worry you or the boy, but she knew. She's a smart one, that Agnes. I'll be sorry to see her go."
At the doctor's final words, James snapped awake. "What do you mean, 'see her go'! She's not going to die! Is she?"
"Yes. She is." The doctor told him, not meeting his eyes. James' eyes grew wild.
"But you're a DOCTOR!! Do something to HELP her! That's your JOB, isn't it?!" He cried, furious. The doctor took a step away from him and shook his head.
"There's nothing I can do. If she had gotten it yesterday, then perhaps I could have done something. But she's had it for so long, there's simply nothing any of us can do but wait for the end." The doctor explained, and James' face became incredibly pale. He nodded and turned and walked away back to the wagon.
The little boy, of course, wasn't asleep. He pretended to be once his father was near enough to see him, but his father ignored him. He paced around the wagon with his pipe between his teeth, murmuring to himself. It was late when he finally went to bed. The boy was still awake and determined to find out what had happened. As soon as he could hear his father's snores from the tent, he climbed very carefully out of the wagon and ran to the doctor's quarters.
He searched the tents and soon found his mother, lying pale and listless on a cot in the far corner of one of the farthest tents. He crept to her slowly, his little eyes widening with fear and sadness as he looked down on her.
Agnes sensed someone's presence and forced herself to open her eyes. She saw her son and smiled softly.
"Lawrence, what are you doing here?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper. The little boy's eyes started were frightened at the frailty she possessed.
"Mama, are you ok?" he whispered, and she shook her head.
"I'm not right now, but I will be soon. Listen to me, Lawrence. I won't be here for much longer. I'm going on to a better place. But I want you to promise me that you'll take good care of your Papa. He needs you." She told him, taking his small hand in hers. He looked down into her eyes and saw the peacefulness in them. He sighed and nodded.
"I promise, mama." He vowed, and she smiled, and stroked his head.
"Now, go on back to bed. Don't let Papa know you came to see me, ok?" She told him, and he nodded and ran out of the tent.
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The next morning when James woke up, he momentarily forgot about Agnes and the cholera. Then, when he rolled over and found she wasn't there, and she wasn't outside making breakfast, he remembered. He leaped up out of his bed and was about to sprint to the cholera camp when he remembered he wasn't dressed. He threw on some clothes as quickly as he could and ran to his wife.
He entered a tent without permission from the doctor or anyone else. Some of the patients gave him strange looks, but he ignored them, searching for Agnes. When he saw she was no-where to be found in that tent, he left and ran to the next one, with again no success. He exited from that tent and was about to continue on when he saw the doctor and another man carrying a wooden coffin from one of the tents. His heart lurched and he hurried over to the doctor.
"Doctor... sir... who was that?" James asked croakily as the other man placed the coffin in the grave near the edge of the fort. The doctor looked up at James and gave him half a smile.
"Not your wife, if that's what you were worrying about. It was his son." The Doctor told him, and pointed to the man whose family had been traveling in front of them. His 6-year-old son Tom now lay in that wooden coffin, soon to be beneath the dust of the trail, forgotten after the train continued on. James's heart wrenched again and he imagined his own son in that coffin. He shuddered and the doctor gave a hollow chuckle.
"Not a pretty picture, is it?" He commented, sighing. "If you're looking for your wife, she's in there." He instructed James, showing him the last tent. James nodded and set off, entering the tent to find most of the patients asleep. "At least, I hope they're asleep." He thought to himself, and then he spotted his wife.
"Agnes!" he cried, rushing to her side. Her pale eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a small smile. Her breathing was quiet and irregular now.
"How...how...how do you feel?" James stuttered, taking her hands in his and looking down into her eyes. She had a serene glow all around her, and he wondered if she knew she was dying, too.
"I'll be fine soon. It won't be long now..." Her voice trailed off and she smiled at him again. "How is Lawrence. Does he know?"
James shook his head. So she did know. "No. He doesn't. I haven't told him anything."
Agnes nodded. "Good. He doesn't need to know until the end."
"Do you want me to bring him to you? So you can say... goodbye?"
Agnes paused for a moment thoughtfully, then nodded again. "Yes. I need to say goodbye before it is too late." James nodded swiftly, then hurried out of the tent at a run. He reached his wagon and hurriedly awoke his son.
"Lawrence. Get up!" He said, shaking his son awake. The boy turned and looked up at his father, confused.
"Your mother needs to speak with you. HURRY!" James said, quickly gathering some clothes.
"Here, put these on. Quickly now!" James tossed the clothes to the boy, who stood dazed for a moment as the clothes landed on him. James noticed him and sighed. "Don't just stand there, we haven't got much time!"
Lawrence nodded and changed as quickly as he could. As soon as he got his shoes on, his father dragged him out the door and led him to the last tent, where his mother was waiting. They entered and she smiled at both of them, although she seemed even farther away then she had been those short moments ago.
Agnes took a hand from each of them and held them together in her own. "I won't be here for much longer. I needed to say goodbye, and to tell you to not be frightened. I love you both very much, and I'll always be with you."
James tried hard to control the tears threatening to flow down from his eyes, while Lawrence was strangely calm. He nodded obediently when his mother finished talking and said, "I love you, Mama."
"I love you, too." Agnes told him, squeezing their hands, and closing her eyes. James watched as the rise and fall of her chest ceased and her hands went limp. Then he couldn't stop the tears, and he threw himself over her, crying. Lawrence, however, sat very still, as though in shock. He got up and told his father, "I'm going to go play with Tom."
"You can't, Tom's dead too!" James spat through his tears, and Lawrence's eyes widened.
"Oh... well, I'm going back to the wagon, then." He said, and walked out of the tent as if he were in a dream. Mama was gone. Tom was gone. Who was left? Just him and Papa. And Mama had said to take good care of Papa after she had gone. How must he do that? Papa was so much bigger than he was...
James got up after a few moments, and then went to give the Doctor word of Agnes' death. The doctor's eyes saddened a great deal, and he nodded. "We'll see to the burial right away."
"Thank you, Doctor." James said, and he turned and walked back to the wagon.
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THE END OF CHAPTER 2
Ok, this was kinda short, too... so shoot me! BLAH to that! OK, yeah, anyways... thanks to Smalls and Tiger who are the only ones who've reviewed this so far! And to Smalls, I guess it won't make much sense for a little while longer... I know what's going to happen, it's just the getting there that's the problem! Yeah, I guess that's all. PLEASE review it!! I'd love you forever if you did! THANKS!
~*Voodoo*~