A/N: And here it is, chapter numero tres of my story.... blah. I am just writing this off the top of my
head because I seriously don't know how this is gonna turn out just yet. I realized a problem I had
with what was GOING to happen and now it won't happen no more! I've gotten a better idea! Tra
la la! So, enjoy this chapter because I am ACTUALLY WRITING! Oh, and while you're at it, go
and read my buddies fics!! They're all listed on my fave authors list! Moving on....
Disclaimer: **shows off a big sign Vanna White style that says "NEWSIES BELONGS TO
DISNEY"** So there!
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
Chapter 3: My Lovey Dovey Baby
By Voodoo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
September 18, 1897
Lawrence Johnston awoke the morning of September 18, 1899 with a feeling of dread. Today
was the 10th anniversary of his mother's death, and he knew it would be hard on his father. He lay
in bed, remembering that day, how he had lost his mother, his best friend, and his father all on
the same day. Well, only his mother had actually died that day. But he had found out his best
friend was dead, and his father had practically died. He walked away from the medical tent
outside Ft. Laramie an empty shell of a man, and had never recovered. He hadn't shed a single
tear at Agnes' funeral, and he didn't seem to recognize Lawrence. He merely went about as he
always did, feeding the horses, and when the caravan was ready to move on, he continued on
with them. They hadn't gone with the rest of the wagon train on to Oregon City, but had stayed
with a few other families in the small town of Bend, in Central Oregon, at the foot of the Cascade
Mountains. His father had simply lost his will to go on, and Lawrence knew, even at his young
age of 5, that his father needed to stop.
They now ran a small grocery and had a modest living, but Lawrence was bored. He couldn't tell
his father this, because on top of the depression caused by Agnes' death, James had taken to
drinking. Every night after the store closed James would walk down and spend the evening at a
local pub, leaving Lawrence alone to do what he liked. While Lawrence was younger, he had
gone and played with his little friends that he had made in the town. But now, he was 15, and his
friends had all moved away into bigger towns to find work and make a life for themselves.
Lawrence longed to get out of the small town, to go out into the world and make something of
himself, but he knew that if he left his father would go to ruin. Lawrence kept the books for the
store, made sure it was stocked properly, and basically ran the store himself. When his father
was sober he liked to think he was in charge and do things his own way, but when he was drunk
he couldn't care less.
On this particular day Lawrence was wandering the streets of Bend, looking for anything to do.
His father had made it clear that since it was the anniversary of his mother's death, people
shouldn't expect them to be working. So Lawrence was left to his own while his father went to the
pubs to bum drinks off of people because it was his poor dead wife's death anniversary, may she
rest in peace. Scowling, Lawrence kicked the dust along the street, walking to nowhere in
particular.
"Hey, Laurie, wait up!" a voice called behind him. He stopped and turned to see Christine, one of
his only friends left in town. He gave her half a smile as she ran to catch up with him.
"What's the matter?" She asked, knowing well what the matter was, putting her hand on his
shoulder. He looked up at her, his deep brown eyes mutinous.
"The same thing is the matter as is always the matter.... only today it's worse. It's my mother's
death anniversary, and I know my father will come home tonight drunk as a skunk in a
thunderstorm and then tomorrow he'll have a hangover the size of St. Louis and... God, Christine,
I can't take being here much longer!"
Christine sighed and nodded, her pale blue eyes showing understanding. She had first met
Lawrence when he and his father had moved into town, only a few houses away from their own.
They had become friends rather quickly, although now they weren't as close as they once had
been.
A year earlier, when Lawrence was 14 and Christine was 13, Lawrence had told her he loved her.
Christine had been completely unprepared for it and she had broken down into tears, asking why
he would say such a thing and crying that he couldn't possibly mean it. He was confused and
asked her what the matter was, and she said she could never love him in that way, why couldn't
they just be friends? Lawrence was furious and stormed off, refusing to speak to her for months.
They finally made things up and Lawrence never mentioned love to her again. Now that she was
older, she wondered if maybe she had been wrong, but she didn't want to bring up their past. The
past, she learned, was better left dead and buried.
"I know how you feel, but if you just wait, maybe things will get better." She suggested, and he
shook his head.
"You know my father! He won't get better, he's going to be this way until he dies.....until he
dies......" Lawrence cried, repeating the last 3 words as if an idea was forming in his mind.
Christine recognized the look and shook him by the shoulders.
"Don't go getting any silly ideas, Laurie!! Life isn't like some stupid book, you can't go around
killing people who are in your way!" She said vehemently, and he sighed, knowing she was right.
"Still, it would be rather convenient if he just... died. Or went away and never came back, then I'd
be free....."
"What would you do if you were free?" Christine asked skeptically. Lawrence had only the
knowledge of the Oregon Trail and then life here in small town Oregon. He didn't know what the
world was like.
Lawrence answered immediately. "I'd leave here, for sure! Maybe I'd go to Chicago or New
Orleans... or New York! That's where I'd go, New York City!"
"New York City? How's a dime store employee like yourself going to get to New York City?"
Christine laughed. Lawrence grinned.
"Well, if you must know, I've been saving up my money ever since we started the store! I already
have enough to buy a train ticket as far as Chicago, and there's more work in Chicago then there
is here... I could go and work in Chicago till I had enough to go on to New York!" Lawrence said,
his eyes with a faraway look.
"Are you sure? What would you do in New York, anyway?" Christine asked, shaking her head.
The thought of him leaving wrenched at her heart, although she'd never tell him that.
Lawrence looked stumped, then shrugged. "I'm sure I'd find something!" He replied, still looking
away along the horizon. Christine sighed.
"Well, I think you'd better think up a better plan then THAT before you try and go off anywhere!"
she told him, and he nodded.
"You're right.... besides, I can't leave! Dad's still here and if I leave him all by himself, he'll go to
ruin." Lawrence told her. "Not like he already hasn't." He added bitterly.
Christine gave a small sigh of relief. As long as his father was alive and in relatively good
condition, she could keep Lawrence here with her.
Lawrence shook himself inside. He had been gazing off along the horizon, imagining what life in
New York City would be like. He knew he'd be there someday.... he just had to be patient.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
June 14, 1899
//AN: MY BDAY!! TEEHEE//
Lawrence sighed as he locked the shop's door and walked home. The last month had been pure
hell. His father had been feeling worse and worse, refusing to see a doctor, insisting he was fine.
Lawrence, of course, knew better than to try and talk his father into going to see a doctor. When
he was sober, he was stubborn. When he was drunk, he was impossible.
"How is he?" He heard a soft voice behind him ask. He turned around to face Christine, smiling
up at him. She had changed so much in the past two years, now being at the age of 16, her long
blonde hair was swept back away from her face from her days working in the inn. But a few stray
strands had escaped from the braid and framed her face, giving her an angelic appearance. He
smiled at her and shrugged.
"The same as he has been. He still refuses to see a doctor... it's just a matter of time now..." His
voice trailed off and Christine sighed as well. She knew all about how James was throwing up
whatever he ate, often a mixture of food and blood. She shook her head and thought to herself I
wish there was something I could do to help him.
Lawrence started off towards home, Christine walking beside him. They spent most of their trip in
silence until they reached Christine's house. She took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"Don't worry, everything will work out in the end, you'll see!" She reassured him, and he shook his
head and she let go of his hand and went inside. Lawrence continued a few houses down to his
own home, silent of course, because his father was at the bar. Lawrence was about to go into his
own bedroom when he heard his father's hacking cough in the other room, and decided he had
better check on him first.
Lawrence went into his father's bedroom to find him doubled over on the bed, pale as a ghost,
and now quite silent. Lawrence rushed over to his father's bedside and began to shake him.
"PAPA!! PAPA!! WAKE UP!!" he cried, panic flooding his voice. James never said a word, only
laid there, pale as a sheet. Lawrence could see his chest rise and fall and he knew he wasn't
dead yet.
"Papa, PLEASE! Speak to me!" Lawrence cried, his hands trembling as he stared at his helpless
father. James finally spoke in a voice no louder than a whisper.
"I love you." He murmured, and his eyes closed forever in eternal slumber. Lawrence stepped
back away from the bed, in shock. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to get out of
the house. He stumbled blindly through the room and out the front door. He didn't know where to
do or who to go to, but he knew he just had to get away.
He began down the street, his eyes wide open and wild looking, and he nearly ran Christine down
as she stepped out of her house.
"Lawrence! What's the matter?!" She cried, noticing his agitated state. He looked up at her,
relieved to find someone to talk to.
"It's my father.... he died....." Lawrence told her, his voice sounding flat and bitter. Christine gave
a small gasp of surprise and went closer towards him.
"I'm so sorry, Laurie!" She said softly, sighing. "I suppose this wouldn't be the best time to tell you
this...."
Lawrence looked up immediately, gazing at her quizzically. "What do you need to tell me?" he
asked.
"Well, I just came home from seeing John Partridge and.... he asked me to marry him."
Lawrence's eyes grew larger and he said nothing, only nodded.
"And I said yes. We're moving to Seattle in a few months, after the wedding." She continued,
watching him the entire time, waiting to see what his reaction would be.
"Well, I suppose I had better give you my congratulations now, seeing as I won't be here for the
wedding." Lawrence told her bitterly, his eyes not bothering to conceal the pain he was feeling
inside.
"Oh Laurie, you aren't really going to leave, are you?" She cried, tears building up in her eyes.
She grabbed his arm but he shook her away, his eyes now hard and emotionless.
"Of course I am! What do I have to stay for? My father's dead, all my friends are gone, you're
getting married to somebody else...." His voice had begun angry, but trailed off and she knew he
still loved her. She took a deep breath and asked
"Do you still love me?"
He looked up at her and sighed. "I thought I did.... but now I don't know anymore." She breathed
a sigh of relief, for she truly believed she didn't love him, either.
"When are you leaving?" She asked, hoping to take his mind off everything.
"Tomorrow." He said abruptly, and she gasped.
"But what about the funeral?"
"I was hoping you would take care of that for me. Don't you understand, I can't stay here any
longer?" He told her, shaking his head.
"Not even long enough for a proper funeral for your own father?" She probed, and he shook his
head.
"No. Please..." he took her hands into his and gazed into her eyes. "Please do this for me?"
Christine sighed and replied "Alright, I will..."
"Good!" Lawrence told her with a grin, and pulled her close, kissing her lightly. When he pulled
away, he dropped her hands and walked back to his own home, leaving Christine standing alone
in front of her home, speechless. She had been convinced until that moment that all there was
between them was friendship, but as soon as he had kissed her, she felt a flood of emotions she
was unprepared for. She watched his retreating back and wondered what to do. Finally she
decided to go inside and sleep on it.
Lawrence, back in his own home, wondered what on earth had possessed him to kiss her. He
shook his head, telling himself that a girl in this town was no good to a boy bound for New York
City! He pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote down the funeral instructions for Christine.
Leaving the note where he was sure she would find it, he decided he had better leave tonight. I
won't be able to sleep at all tonight if I wait until tomorrow! He told himself emphatically, and
packed a clean pair of clothes and all of his money that he had saved over the years in a jam jar
under his pillow. It amounted to exactly enough for a fare to New York, but what then? Christine
had a good point. What was he going to do with himself once he GOT to New York?
"I'll think of that when I get there!" he said to himself aloud, and with that he left his house without
a glance over his shoulder for the train depot, and within the hour was on a train bound for New
York City.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The End of Chapter 3
WOOHOO!! My longest chapter YET!! AlGHT!! This is awesome! Anyhoodles, sorry it's taken me
so long to write another chapter, I suck at this! LOL! Anyways, reviews would be muchly
appreciated, but yeah... that's about all I have to say! Hope you enjoyed it!
~*Voodoo*~
head because I seriously don't know how this is gonna turn out just yet. I realized a problem I had
with what was GOING to happen and now it won't happen no more! I've gotten a better idea! Tra
la la! So, enjoy this chapter because I am ACTUALLY WRITING! Oh, and while you're at it, go
and read my buddies fics!! They're all listed on my fave authors list! Moving on....
Disclaimer: **shows off a big sign Vanna White style that says "NEWSIES BELONGS TO
DISNEY"** So there!
You Don't Have To Say You Love Me
Chapter 3: My Lovey Dovey Baby
By Voodoo
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
September 18, 1897
Lawrence Johnston awoke the morning of September 18, 1899 with a feeling of dread. Today
was the 10th anniversary of his mother's death, and he knew it would be hard on his father. He lay
in bed, remembering that day, how he had lost his mother, his best friend, and his father all on
the same day. Well, only his mother had actually died that day. But he had found out his best
friend was dead, and his father had practically died. He walked away from the medical tent
outside Ft. Laramie an empty shell of a man, and had never recovered. He hadn't shed a single
tear at Agnes' funeral, and he didn't seem to recognize Lawrence. He merely went about as he
always did, feeding the horses, and when the caravan was ready to move on, he continued on
with them. They hadn't gone with the rest of the wagon train on to Oregon City, but had stayed
with a few other families in the small town of Bend, in Central Oregon, at the foot of the Cascade
Mountains. His father had simply lost his will to go on, and Lawrence knew, even at his young
age of 5, that his father needed to stop.
They now ran a small grocery and had a modest living, but Lawrence was bored. He couldn't tell
his father this, because on top of the depression caused by Agnes' death, James had taken to
drinking. Every night after the store closed James would walk down and spend the evening at a
local pub, leaving Lawrence alone to do what he liked. While Lawrence was younger, he had
gone and played with his little friends that he had made in the town. But now, he was 15, and his
friends had all moved away into bigger towns to find work and make a life for themselves.
Lawrence longed to get out of the small town, to go out into the world and make something of
himself, but he knew that if he left his father would go to ruin. Lawrence kept the books for the
store, made sure it was stocked properly, and basically ran the store himself. When his father
was sober he liked to think he was in charge and do things his own way, but when he was drunk
he couldn't care less.
On this particular day Lawrence was wandering the streets of Bend, looking for anything to do.
His father had made it clear that since it was the anniversary of his mother's death, people
shouldn't expect them to be working. So Lawrence was left to his own while his father went to the
pubs to bum drinks off of people because it was his poor dead wife's death anniversary, may she
rest in peace. Scowling, Lawrence kicked the dust along the street, walking to nowhere in
particular.
"Hey, Laurie, wait up!" a voice called behind him. He stopped and turned to see Christine, one of
his only friends left in town. He gave her half a smile as she ran to catch up with him.
"What's the matter?" She asked, knowing well what the matter was, putting her hand on his
shoulder. He looked up at her, his deep brown eyes mutinous.
"The same thing is the matter as is always the matter.... only today it's worse. It's my mother's
death anniversary, and I know my father will come home tonight drunk as a skunk in a
thunderstorm and then tomorrow he'll have a hangover the size of St. Louis and... God, Christine,
I can't take being here much longer!"
Christine sighed and nodded, her pale blue eyes showing understanding. She had first met
Lawrence when he and his father had moved into town, only a few houses away from their own.
They had become friends rather quickly, although now they weren't as close as they once had
been.
A year earlier, when Lawrence was 14 and Christine was 13, Lawrence had told her he loved her.
Christine had been completely unprepared for it and she had broken down into tears, asking why
he would say such a thing and crying that he couldn't possibly mean it. He was confused and
asked her what the matter was, and she said she could never love him in that way, why couldn't
they just be friends? Lawrence was furious and stormed off, refusing to speak to her for months.
They finally made things up and Lawrence never mentioned love to her again. Now that she was
older, she wondered if maybe she had been wrong, but she didn't want to bring up their past. The
past, she learned, was better left dead and buried.
"I know how you feel, but if you just wait, maybe things will get better." She suggested, and he
shook his head.
"You know my father! He won't get better, he's going to be this way until he dies.....until he
dies......" Lawrence cried, repeating the last 3 words as if an idea was forming in his mind.
Christine recognized the look and shook him by the shoulders.
"Don't go getting any silly ideas, Laurie!! Life isn't like some stupid book, you can't go around
killing people who are in your way!" She said vehemently, and he sighed, knowing she was right.
"Still, it would be rather convenient if he just... died. Or went away and never came back, then I'd
be free....."
"What would you do if you were free?" Christine asked skeptically. Lawrence had only the
knowledge of the Oregon Trail and then life here in small town Oregon. He didn't know what the
world was like.
Lawrence answered immediately. "I'd leave here, for sure! Maybe I'd go to Chicago or New
Orleans... or New York! That's where I'd go, New York City!"
"New York City? How's a dime store employee like yourself going to get to New York City?"
Christine laughed. Lawrence grinned.
"Well, if you must know, I've been saving up my money ever since we started the store! I already
have enough to buy a train ticket as far as Chicago, and there's more work in Chicago then there
is here... I could go and work in Chicago till I had enough to go on to New York!" Lawrence said,
his eyes with a faraway look.
"Are you sure? What would you do in New York, anyway?" Christine asked, shaking her head.
The thought of him leaving wrenched at her heart, although she'd never tell him that.
Lawrence looked stumped, then shrugged. "I'm sure I'd find something!" He replied, still looking
away along the horizon. Christine sighed.
"Well, I think you'd better think up a better plan then THAT before you try and go off anywhere!"
she told him, and he nodded.
"You're right.... besides, I can't leave! Dad's still here and if I leave him all by himself, he'll go to
ruin." Lawrence told her. "Not like he already hasn't." He added bitterly.
Christine gave a small sigh of relief. As long as his father was alive and in relatively good
condition, she could keep Lawrence here with her.
Lawrence shook himself inside. He had been gazing off along the horizon, imagining what life in
New York City would be like. He knew he'd be there someday.... he just had to be patient.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
June 14, 1899
//AN: MY BDAY!! TEEHEE//
Lawrence sighed as he locked the shop's door and walked home. The last month had been pure
hell. His father had been feeling worse and worse, refusing to see a doctor, insisting he was fine.
Lawrence, of course, knew better than to try and talk his father into going to see a doctor. When
he was sober, he was stubborn. When he was drunk, he was impossible.
"How is he?" He heard a soft voice behind him ask. He turned around to face Christine, smiling
up at him. She had changed so much in the past two years, now being at the age of 16, her long
blonde hair was swept back away from her face from her days working in the inn. But a few stray
strands had escaped from the braid and framed her face, giving her an angelic appearance. He
smiled at her and shrugged.
"The same as he has been. He still refuses to see a doctor... it's just a matter of time now..." His
voice trailed off and Christine sighed as well. She knew all about how James was throwing up
whatever he ate, often a mixture of food and blood. She shook her head and thought to herself I
wish there was something I could do to help him.
Lawrence started off towards home, Christine walking beside him. They spent most of their trip in
silence until they reached Christine's house. She took his hand and squeezed it gently.
"Don't worry, everything will work out in the end, you'll see!" She reassured him, and he shook his
head and she let go of his hand and went inside. Lawrence continued a few houses down to his
own home, silent of course, because his father was at the bar. Lawrence was about to go into his
own bedroom when he heard his father's hacking cough in the other room, and decided he had
better check on him first.
Lawrence went into his father's bedroom to find him doubled over on the bed, pale as a ghost,
and now quite silent. Lawrence rushed over to his father's bedside and began to shake him.
"PAPA!! PAPA!! WAKE UP!!" he cried, panic flooding his voice. James never said a word, only
laid there, pale as a sheet. Lawrence could see his chest rise and fall and he knew he wasn't
dead yet.
"Papa, PLEASE! Speak to me!" Lawrence cried, his hands trembling as he stared at his helpless
father. James finally spoke in a voice no louder than a whisper.
"I love you." He murmured, and his eyes closed forever in eternal slumber. Lawrence stepped
back away from the bed, in shock. He didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to get out of
the house. He stumbled blindly through the room and out the front door. He didn't know where to
do or who to go to, but he knew he just had to get away.
He began down the street, his eyes wide open and wild looking, and he nearly ran Christine down
as she stepped out of her house.
"Lawrence! What's the matter?!" She cried, noticing his agitated state. He looked up at her,
relieved to find someone to talk to.
"It's my father.... he died....." Lawrence told her, his voice sounding flat and bitter. Christine gave
a small gasp of surprise and went closer towards him.
"I'm so sorry, Laurie!" She said softly, sighing. "I suppose this wouldn't be the best time to tell you
this...."
Lawrence looked up immediately, gazing at her quizzically. "What do you need to tell me?" he
asked.
"Well, I just came home from seeing John Partridge and.... he asked me to marry him."
Lawrence's eyes grew larger and he said nothing, only nodded.
"And I said yes. We're moving to Seattle in a few months, after the wedding." She continued,
watching him the entire time, waiting to see what his reaction would be.
"Well, I suppose I had better give you my congratulations now, seeing as I won't be here for the
wedding." Lawrence told her bitterly, his eyes not bothering to conceal the pain he was feeling
inside.
"Oh Laurie, you aren't really going to leave, are you?" She cried, tears building up in her eyes.
She grabbed his arm but he shook her away, his eyes now hard and emotionless.
"Of course I am! What do I have to stay for? My father's dead, all my friends are gone, you're
getting married to somebody else...." His voice had begun angry, but trailed off and she knew he
still loved her. She took a deep breath and asked
"Do you still love me?"
He looked up at her and sighed. "I thought I did.... but now I don't know anymore." She breathed
a sigh of relief, for she truly believed she didn't love him, either.
"When are you leaving?" She asked, hoping to take his mind off everything.
"Tomorrow." He said abruptly, and she gasped.
"But what about the funeral?"
"I was hoping you would take care of that for me. Don't you understand, I can't stay here any
longer?" He told her, shaking his head.
"Not even long enough for a proper funeral for your own father?" She probed, and he shook his
head.
"No. Please..." he took her hands into his and gazed into her eyes. "Please do this for me?"
Christine sighed and replied "Alright, I will..."
"Good!" Lawrence told her with a grin, and pulled her close, kissing her lightly. When he pulled
away, he dropped her hands and walked back to his own home, leaving Christine standing alone
in front of her home, speechless. She had been convinced until that moment that all there was
between them was friendship, but as soon as he had kissed her, she felt a flood of emotions she
was unprepared for. She watched his retreating back and wondered what to do. Finally she
decided to go inside and sleep on it.
Lawrence, back in his own home, wondered what on earth had possessed him to kiss her. He
shook his head, telling himself that a girl in this town was no good to a boy bound for New York
City! He pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote down the funeral instructions for Christine.
Leaving the note where he was sure she would find it, he decided he had better leave tonight. I
won't be able to sleep at all tonight if I wait until tomorrow! He told himself emphatically, and
packed a clean pair of clothes and all of his money that he had saved over the years in a jam jar
under his pillow. It amounted to exactly enough for a fare to New York, but what then? Christine
had a good point. What was he going to do with himself once he GOT to New York?
"I'll think of that when I get there!" he said to himself aloud, and with that he left his house without
a glance over his shoulder for the train depot, and within the hour was on a train bound for New
York City.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The End of Chapter 3
WOOHOO!! My longest chapter YET!! AlGHT!! This is awesome! Anyhoodles, sorry it's taken me
so long to write another chapter, I suck at this! LOL! Anyways, reviews would be muchly
appreciated, but yeah... that's about all I have to say! Hope you enjoyed it!
~*Voodoo*~