Shinji slowly opened his eyes and looked around the hospital room

Shinji slowly opened his eyes and looked around the hospital room. Misato was asleep in chair next to his bed. As he turned back to his view of the ceiling, images of the night before begin to surface, the car, the accident and Hikari lying on the ground motion less as he tried to reach her before he blacked out.  Once Shinji remembered why he was there he quickly got out of bed and started to make his way to the door, but he got no more then a few steppes before the pain in from his ribs became to much and he dropped to his knees.  The noise brought Misato around from her light sleep and she quickly went to Shinji's side.

"What are you doing? You have to get back to bed." Misato said while placing her hands on his shoulders.

"No I have to see Hikari I have be sure she is ok." He said trying once again to get to his feet.

Misato slowly helped the young man to his feet. "Shinji there is some thing you need to know…"

"Not now I have to see her." He cut her off.

 "Shinji she…." Misato turned her gaze to the floor as the tears began to come. "Shinji she didn't make it." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"No… it's a mistake you herd wrong." He said fighting back tears.

"I am sorry Shinji." She said looking in to his eyes.

He drooped back down to his knees as the tears began to flow freely. "I lied to her!" He began to chant as he punched the floor. Every time he said that phrase it became louder and time he struck the ground it became harder, until there was a faint crake herd in the room. Shinji looked down at his hand every knuckle was bleeding and he could not move his pinky finger, but he felt no pain from his hand and he felt no pain from his side. The only pain he felt was the pain of his heart dieing.

He looked up at Misato and mouthed to her, "I lied to her." Before he fell face first unconscious.

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Shinji leaned on the gourd railing of the plateau over looking Tokyo-3. His mind a was a battle field of conflicting emotions on whether or not leave EVA and every thing came with it behind. Then a voice came from behind him.

"Ikari?" A famine voice said

He slowly turned his head to see the source of the voice it was the Class rep.

Shinji turned back to face the city as he said, "I am sorry I forgot your name."

"Hikari Horaki." She said with a small smile as made her and stood beside him. "You know its funny I was just thinking about you."

"Really… why you would be thinking about me?" He said in a monotone voice. His gaze never leaving the city

Hikari was a little taken back by his comment so she just looked at him for a moment before she answered, "Well you're a classmate and I herd from Kenskue and Touji about what happened after you fought the angel so I guess I was a little worried about you."

"I don't deserve to have someone worry about me, I am weak and a coward. Look at me I'm up her because I can't even decide whether or not I should run away." He backed away from the fence and sat down on the small bench. "It would better if I would just die." There wasn't the slightest hint of anger of sadness in his voice it was just empty.   

Hikari looked down at her hands they were trembling, "His words." she thought "They sound just like what Kinoko said before…" She quickly crossed the distance between her and Shinji and before she fully realized what she was doing she gave him a resounding slap across the face.  "Don't ever say that! No one deserves to die!" Her hands were still shaking at her sides as she looked down him.

Shinji looked up into Hikari's he could tell she was on the verge of crying. "I don't know what to say." He said as he gently fingered the spot were he had been hit.

But before he could think of any thing to say three men in black suits came up behind Shinji and said, "Shinji Ikari your coming with use."

Shinji did not protest he simply got up and started to follow them the waiting car. He took one last look at Hikari her eyes were still ready to unleash a torrent of tears, but her face had changed it now had a look of worry along with sorrow.  Then every thing went black and he could see was her face and how it contorted in pain as the skin was stating to get worn away as if rubbed with sand paper as the skin started to fall and the blood started to flow he awoke with a scream.

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Shinji screamed as he shot up in the hospital bed, beads of sweat running down his face.  As he tries to bring a hand up to whip his face he realizes there tied to the bed. This was the last straw.

"LET ME FUCKING GO…UNTIE ME YOU BASTERDS!!" Shinji yelled at the top of his lungs as thrashed against the restraints.

Misato had just stepped out of the elevator when she heard Shinji start to yell. She ran to his room and pushed the nurses out of the way to get to him. When she made it in side she saw him trying to rip out the restraints with all the force he could muster. She made her way to his bed and put her hands on his shoulders and forcefully pushed him down to the bed. She looked down in to his eye and there was no anger in them just despair.

"Can I leave Misato… please tell me I can leave." He said on the verge of tears.

Misato looked over to the doctor that had just entered the room. "Yes he is as well enough, but I am going to prescribe some pain killers for his ribs and his hand." He said before he told one of the nurses to undo the restraints.

"Why is he tied up?" Misato asked

"He was trashing around in his sleep, we did not want him to aggravate his injuries." The nurse said as he finished her task.

The doctor and the nurses left as Misato helped Shinji out of his bed. Then she left so he could get dressed. After he was finished Shinji slowly mad his way to the door but before he got there he found something in his pocket. He leaned his back to the wall and slid down it bringing his knees to his chest. Shinji looked at the small picture of Hikari smiling and he began to sob. Misato made her way in to the room and saw that Shinji was crying but she did not bother to ask what was wrong she just helped him to his feet an took him home.

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Disclaimer—I do not own any rights to Evangelion.

Big thanks to asukalangleyu02 for pre-reading

Comments are always welcome dragon_of_earth_fuma@yahoo.com