Beatrix Gets A Kitten
Authors Note: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfiction. I don't hate cats either, in fact, I have two of them and one of which looks like the Miko in the story and has the same name. No cats were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.
Chapter 1
Steiner walked home, carring a small box with holes in the top for air. He wasvery proud of himself as he hummed a little tune.
"Beatrix is gonna LOVE this!" He thought aloud as he opened the large wooden doors of the Alexandrian castle, balancing the box on his knee.
"Beeeeaaaatrixxx." Called out Steiner, walking up the stairs that led to her room.
"I'm in my room, Steiner." She called out from down the long corridor. He entered her room, hiding the box behind his back. She was polishing her sword, the infamous 'Save The Queen'.
"Whatcha got, Stenier?" She asked, trying to look around his large, armor covered body.
"Just a little present for my Trixie." He smiled a big, foolish grin. "But you can't open it until tonight, okay?"
"Okay." She went back to polishing her sword. After a few uncomfortable minutes (On Steiners side, anyway,) He began to shift from foot to foot, waiting for her to beg him about what was in the box. Finally, he caved in.
"Well, if you're gonna BEG me, I guess you can open it." He tried his best to sound like she was the one who was always terrible at waiting for things, instead of him.
"I'm sorry, did you say something Steiner?" She looked up from her polishing to see a very dissapointed looking Steiner.
"I said that you could open your present now." He handed her the package. She smiled at him lovingly.
"Aww, thanks Steiner. I didn't even have to yell at you about my birthday this year, you're the best." She kissed him on the cheek, then started to open her present. Her eyes widened as she lifted up a tiny grey kitten.
"Um, thanks, Seiner." She said as she set it down. The kitten raised a tiny white paw, Beatrix flinched.
"Don't you like it, Beatrix?" He looked perplexed.
"It's great, Steiner, really," She slowly stood up and backed away from the savage beast. Earth destroying dragons and Evil Black Mages she could handle, kittens were something else... She bumped into Steiner, he looked hurt.
"You don't like her, do you?" He was on the verge of tears. Beatrix ran to the kitten, picked it up, and started to pet as if her very life depended on it. And in a way, it did.
"See Steiner, we're already friends. I'll name her Miko." It started to purr, and Beatrix didn't know if she could take much more of this. But Steiner appeared to be happy, and after a few minutes of petting the kitten, he left. Beatrix quickly all but dropped Miko, and climbed up on her window seat, watching it fearfully. It pit-patted over to her, jumped on the window seat, and rubbed against her with suprising force. Beatrix jumped up and backed into a corner. But the kitten just kept on following her wherever she went. A few hours later Steiner came to make sure that Beatrix and Miko were doing alright. Beatrix jumped when she heard a knock at her door, she had been sitting on her bed as Miko rubbed against the helpless twitching general.
"Beatrix? Are you in there?" Steiner's voice came from the other side. Beatrix looked around frantically, then grabbed Miko and locked her in the closet. Steiner opened the door and came in in his pajamas. 'He looks cute in pajamas.' Beatrix thought to herself as she backed away from the closet.
"Hi Beatrix," Steiner said. "Where's Miko?" A puzzled look crossed his face while he glanced around the room.
"Uh, well, I think she, um..." Beatrix scrambled to find an excuse. "I think she's somewhere around the castle..." A scratching sound came from the closet door. Steiner walked towards it, the sound being joined by a pathetic 'mew'.
"What's in there, Beatrix?" Steiner opened the door and a little grey head popped around the corner.
"Oh, she must've gotten caught in there when you were getting dressed this morning! Poor baby." Steiner cuddled the kitten, scratching it's neck and making cooing sounds at it.
"Well, whatdo you know? She was there all along!" Beatrix grinned timidly as the kitten jumped out of Steiner's arms and trotted over to Beatrix. She backed up against the wall, Miko purring and rubbing Beatrix with all her might. Beatrix flinched.
"You don't like her, do you?" Steiner sat on the floor and started to whine. He was on the verge of tears.
"Oh no, I love her, really." Beatrix ran over to Steiner and hugged him tightly, the last thing she needed was her boyfriend crying.
"Really?" Steiner wiped away his tears with his sleeve.
"Really." Miko trotted over and rubbed against Beatrix. She hugged Steiner tighter.
* * *
This kitten torture continued for several days, Miko rubbing against Beatrix and purring, Beatrix flinching and invoulentarily twitching whenever the kitten came near. One day when Beatrix woke up from a restless night's sleep, she discovered Miko sleeping at the foot of her bed peacefully. Beatrix leapt out of her bed and threw on her robe as she slammed the door to her room, making sure that the horrid beast stayed in her room. She stumbled down the stairs and into the castle's kitchen to pour herself a large cup of very black coffee.
"Good morning Beatrix!" Steiner chimed in his cowboy pajamas.
"Mmf grrg frogronol." Beatrix groaned, her eyes barely awake as she sat across from Steiner.
"Nice to see you too!" Steiner grinned, Beatrix hated cheerfulness in the morning. One by one the rest of the castle's residents stumbled into the kitchen, looking pretty much the same as Beatrix had, except less likely to kill if someone got between them and the coffee pot. As a very tired looking Admerant was about to pour himself a cup of coffee, Beatrix got up and shoved him aside to get another cup. Noone argued with her. Eyes still partially closed, she dragged herself up the stairs to her room and sipped her coffee. Miko ran over to her and continued with her daily torture of rubbing and purring. Beatrix finished her coffee and sauntered into the bathroom. She locked Miko out. Beatrix got undressed and stepped into the shower, little mew's and scratching sounds coming from the door all the while. A while later Beatrix turned off the water and wrapped herself in a towel, Miko making sure that Beatrix got a good thick coat of cat hair on her wet legs and back. Miko reminded her of someone, but she couldn't quite place who...
"I hate cats." She said while putting on her coat and slipping her sword in it's sheath. She walked down the stairs and tried not to step on the green eyed monster as it somehow managed to end up sitting exactly where Beatrix was going to place her foot. A few steps from the bottom, Beatrix accidentally tripped over Miko and both went flying through the air. Steiner was patroling the castle when he saw his girlfriend and a certain tiny grey body hurtling through the air.
"I'll save you!" He cried as he leapt through the air and caught Miko. He missed Beatrix. "Are you okay? I was so worried that you might've been hurt!"
"Yeah, I think I'm okay, just a little-" Beatrix glanced over to where Steiner was, he was carefully checking all over Miko to make sure she was alright, asking her if anything was broken or if she could move her tail. Beatrix glared at him. She didn't like her boyfriend paying more attention to a cat then her. All of the sudden Steiner let out a terrified scream.
"Steiner! Are you alright?" Beatrix ran over to him. Steiner was holding Miko's front paw, staring at it like it would attack him at any second.
"There's a cut on her paw! Now Miko, in situations like this, the most important thing to do is to stay calm." Beatrix rolled her eyes as she inspected the 'cut'. It took her a while to find it, but finally she found it, a tiny nick on the base of her paw was the cause.
"Steiner, I'm sure she'll be just fine-"
"NO!" Steiner protested. "Beatrix, you have to take her to the vet, NOW." He ran out the door, Miko in her cat carrier under one arm, Beatrix under the other.
In the lobby, Steiner was talking to Miko, and Beatrix made it clear that he was going to pay the veterinary bill.
"Steiner and Miko? Right this way please." The vet lead them to a room in the back of the office, and Steiner let Miko out onto the metal table.
"Now, what seems to be the problem with Miko?" She turned towards Beatrix and Steiner quizzically.
"Well, you see, my boyfriend thinks-"
"This poor creature is going to die if we don't take care of her gnash soon!" Steiner raved as he lifted up Miko's paw to show the cut.
"I don't see any-wait a minute, this cat needs to get medical attention immediately. Pooor baby." The vet stroked Miko and cooed at her while Steiner reassured Miko that she could pull through this. Beatrix rolled her eyes. That's when she figured out that it had the power to control minds. I know this cat reminds me of someone, but I can't figure out who... Beatrix sighed and slumped in a chair in a corner of the room, waiting for this hell to be over.
Three long, painful hours later Beatrix walked into her bathroom to have a nice long bubble bath away from everyone to relax and unwind. She turned the corner, and she saw Miko trying to figure out how to put on Beatrix's orange eyeshadow and concealer without opposible thumbs. Beatrix gasped.
"I know who you are!" She said, taking away the cherry lipstick. "You're Kuja reborn as a kitten!" The kitten gave Beatrix it's best 'Who, me?' look, and Beatrix could feel herself slipping under the dust ball's control. She shook her head and drew 'Save The Queen' from it's sheath and pointed it at Kuja. Miko/Kuja turned towards the door behind Beatrix and Steiner entered, his eyes cold and strangely distant.
"B-Back away, I'm warning you!" Beatrix pointed her sword at Steiner, her hand shaking.
"You can't hurt me, Beatrix," Steiner said, holding his arms out to Beatrix, walking slowly forward.
"Mabey not...But..."Beatrix dove to the ground and scooped up Kuja. "Take one more step and the kitten gets it!" She held the large sword up to Miko. Steiner stopped. "Good, now why do you want to control people?"
"I just want us to all get along, and rule the world." Steiner said, speaking for Kuja. "So that's why you wanted to come in while I was taking a shower." Beatrix said, becoming more and more grossed out every second. Miko reached up and scratched Beatrix's face in an effort to get away. Beatrix winced and threw Kuja into the cubord and leaned against it, Kuja scratching and banging all the while.
"Let him out of there!" Steiner demanded.
"Whatever you say." Beatrix narrowed her eyes and smiled slightly. She reached in the cubord and yanked him out, then jumped through the window and landed in the courtyard. Crazy Steiner followed.
"SHOCK!!!!!!!!!" Beatrix cried, a lightning beam shooting from her sword and hitting Kuja.
"NOOOOOO!" Steiner screamed as a light blue translucent Kuja shot out of Miko and disintegrated into thin air. A now normal grey kitten with jade colored eyes and white feet looked around without a clue and started to clean herself. Steiner looked around stupidly and smiled when he saw Beatrix. She walked up to Steiner and hugged him. Steiner seemed rather puzzled by this sudden display of affection and akwardly patted her back.
"Do me a favor Stein," Beatrix said, looking up at Steiner with innocent baby eyes.
"What?"He asked.
"Never get me a pet again." She smiled as she tightened her grip on him.
THE END
Authors Note: I do not own any of the characters in this fanfiction. I don't hate cats either, in fact, I have two of them and one of which looks like the Miko in the story and has the same name. No cats were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.
Chapter 1
Steiner walked home, carring a small box with holes in the top for air. He wasvery proud of himself as he hummed a little tune.
"Beatrix is gonna LOVE this!" He thought aloud as he opened the large wooden doors of the Alexandrian castle, balancing the box on his knee.
"Beeeeaaaatrixxx." Called out Steiner, walking up the stairs that led to her room.
"I'm in my room, Steiner." She called out from down the long corridor. He entered her room, hiding the box behind his back. She was polishing her sword, the infamous 'Save The Queen'.
"Whatcha got, Stenier?" She asked, trying to look around his large, armor covered body.
"Just a little present for my Trixie." He smiled a big, foolish grin. "But you can't open it until tonight, okay?"
"Okay." She went back to polishing her sword. After a few uncomfortable minutes (On Steiners side, anyway,) He began to shift from foot to foot, waiting for her to beg him about what was in the box. Finally, he caved in.
"Well, if you're gonna BEG me, I guess you can open it." He tried his best to sound like she was the one who was always terrible at waiting for things, instead of him.
"I'm sorry, did you say something Steiner?" She looked up from her polishing to see a very dissapointed looking Steiner.
"I said that you could open your present now." He handed her the package. She smiled at him lovingly.
"Aww, thanks Steiner. I didn't even have to yell at you about my birthday this year, you're the best." She kissed him on the cheek, then started to open her present. Her eyes widened as she lifted up a tiny grey kitten.
"Um, thanks, Seiner." She said as she set it down. The kitten raised a tiny white paw, Beatrix flinched.
"Don't you like it, Beatrix?" He looked perplexed.
"It's great, Steiner, really," She slowly stood up and backed away from the savage beast. Earth destroying dragons and Evil Black Mages she could handle, kittens were something else... She bumped into Steiner, he looked hurt.
"You don't like her, do you?" He was on the verge of tears. Beatrix ran to the kitten, picked it up, and started to pet as if her very life depended on it. And in a way, it did.
"See Steiner, we're already friends. I'll name her Miko." It started to purr, and Beatrix didn't know if she could take much more of this. But Steiner appeared to be happy, and after a few minutes of petting the kitten, he left. Beatrix quickly all but dropped Miko, and climbed up on her window seat, watching it fearfully. It pit-patted over to her, jumped on the window seat, and rubbed against her with suprising force. Beatrix jumped up and backed into a corner. But the kitten just kept on following her wherever she went. A few hours later Steiner came to make sure that Beatrix and Miko were doing alright. Beatrix jumped when she heard a knock at her door, she had been sitting on her bed as Miko rubbed against the helpless twitching general.
"Beatrix? Are you in there?" Steiner's voice came from the other side. Beatrix looked around frantically, then grabbed Miko and locked her in the closet. Steiner opened the door and came in in his pajamas. 'He looks cute in pajamas.' Beatrix thought to herself as she backed away from the closet.
"Hi Beatrix," Steiner said. "Where's Miko?" A puzzled look crossed his face while he glanced around the room.
"Uh, well, I think she, um..." Beatrix scrambled to find an excuse. "I think she's somewhere around the castle..." A scratching sound came from the closet door. Steiner walked towards it, the sound being joined by a pathetic 'mew'.
"What's in there, Beatrix?" Steiner opened the door and a little grey head popped around the corner.
"Oh, she must've gotten caught in there when you were getting dressed this morning! Poor baby." Steiner cuddled the kitten, scratching it's neck and making cooing sounds at it.
"Well, whatdo you know? She was there all along!" Beatrix grinned timidly as the kitten jumped out of Steiner's arms and trotted over to Beatrix. She backed up against the wall, Miko purring and rubbing Beatrix with all her might. Beatrix flinched.
"You don't like her, do you?" Steiner sat on the floor and started to whine. He was on the verge of tears.
"Oh no, I love her, really." Beatrix ran over to Steiner and hugged him tightly, the last thing she needed was her boyfriend crying.
"Really?" Steiner wiped away his tears with his sleeve.
"Really." Miko trotted over and rubbed against Beatrix. She hugged Steiner tighter.
* * *
This kitten torture continued for several days, Miko rubbing against Beatrix and purring, Beatrix flinching and invoulentarily twitching whenever the kitten came near. One day when Beatrix woke up from a restless night's sleep, she discovered Miko sleeping at the foot of her bed peacefully. Beatrix leapt out of her bed and threw on her robe as she slammed the door to her room, making sure that the horrid beast stayed in her room. She stumbled down the stairs and into the castle's kitchen to pour herself a large cup of very black coffee.
"Good morning Beatrix!" Steiner chimed in his cowboy pajamas.
"Mmf grrg frogronol." Beatrix groaned, her eyes barely awake as she sat across from Steiner.
"Nice to see you too!" Steiner grinned, Beatrix hated cheerfulness in the morning. One by one the rest of the castle's residents stumbled into the kitchen, looking pretty much the same as Beatrix had, except less likely to kill if someone got between them and the coffee pot. As a very tired looking Admerant was about to pour himself a cup of coffee, Beatrix got up and shoved him aside to get another cup. Noone argued with her. Eyes still partially closed, she dragged herself up the stairs to her room and sipped her coffee. Miko ran over to her and continued with her daily torture of rubbing and purring. Beatrix finished her coffee and sauntered into the bathroom. She locked Miko out. Beatrix got undressed and stepped into the shower, little mew's and scratching sounds coming from the door all the while. A while later Beatrix turned off the water and wrapped herself in a towel, Miko making sure that Beatrix got a good thick coat of cat hair on her wet legs and back. Miko reminded her of someone, but she couldn't quite place who...
"I hate cats." She said while putting on her coat and slipping her sword in it's sheath. She walked down the stairs and tried not to step on the green eyed monster as it somehow managed to end up sitting exactly where Beatrix was going to place her foot. A few steps from the bottom, Beatrix accidentally tripped over Miko and both went flying through the air. Steiner was patroling the castle when he saw his girlfriend and a certain tiny grey body hurtling through the air.
"I'll save you!" He cried as he leapt through the air and caught Miko. He missed Beatrix. "Are you okay? I was so worried that you might've been hurt!"
"Yeah, I think I'm okay, just a little-" Beatrix glanced over to where Steiner was, he was carefully checking all over Miko to make sure she was alright, asking her if anything was broken or if she could move her tail. Beatrix glared at him. She didn't like her boyfriend paying more attention to a cat then her. All of the sudden Steiner let out a terrified scream.
"Steiner! Are you alright?" Beatrix ran over to him. Steiner was holding Miko's front paw, staring at it like it would attack him at any second.
"There's a cut on her paw! Now Miko, in situations like this, the most important thing to do is to stay calm." Beatrix rolled her eyes as she inspected the 'cut'. It took her a while to find it, but finally she found it, a tiny nick on the base of her paw was the cause.
"Steiner, I'm sure she'll be just fine-"
"NO!" Steiner protested. "Beatrix, you have to take her to the vet, NOW." He ran out the door, Miko in her cat carrier under one arm, Beatrix under the other.
In the lobby, Steiner was talking to Miko, and Beatrix made it clear that he was going to pay the veterinary bill.
"Steiner and Miko? Right this way please." The vet lead them to a room in the back of the office, and Steiner let Miko out onto the metal table.
"Now, what seems to be the problem with Miko?" She turned towards Beatrix and Steiner quizzically.
"Well, you see, my boyfriend thinks-"
"This poor creature is going to die if we don't take care of her gnash soon!" Steiner raved as he lifted up Miko's paw to show the cut.
"I don't see any-wait a minute, this cat needs to get medical attention immediately. Pooor baby." The vet stroked Miko and cooed at her while Steiner reassured Miko that she could pull through this. Beatrix rolled her eyes. That's when she figured out that it had the power to control minds. I know this cat reminds me of someone, but I can't figure out who... Beatrix sighed and slumped in a chair in a corner of the room, waiting for this hell to be over.
Three long, painful hours later Beatrix walked into her bathroom to have a nice long bubble bath away from everyone to relax and unwind. She turned the corner, and she saw Miko trying to figure out how to put on Beatrix's orange eyeshadow and concealer without opposible thumbs. Beatrix gasped.
"I know who you are!" She said, taking away the cherry lipstick. "You're Kuja reborn as a kitten!" The kitten gave Beatrix it's best 'Who, me?' look, and Beatrix could feel herself slipping under the dust ball's control. She shook her head and drew 'Save The Queen' from it's sheath and pointed it at Kuja. Miko/Kuja turned towards the door behind Beatrix and Steiner entered, his eyes cold and strangely distant.
"B-Back away, I'm warning you!" Beatrix pointed her sword at Steiner, her hand shaking.
"You can't hurt me, Beatrix," Steiner said, holding his arms out to Beatrix, walking slowly forward.
"Mabey not...But..."Beatrix dove to the ground and scooped up Kuja. "Take one more step and the kitten gets it!" She held the large sword up to Miko. Steiner stopped. "Good, now why do you want to control people?"
"I just want us to all get along, and rule the world." Steiner said, speaking for Kuja. "So that's why you wanted to come in while I was taking a shower." Beatrix said, becoming more and more grossed out every second. Miko reached up and scratched Beatrix's face in an effort to get away. Beatrix winced and threw Kuja into the cubord and leaned against it, Kuja scratching and banging all the while.
"Let him out of there!" Steiner demanded.
"Whatever you say." Beatrix narrowed her eyes and smiled slightly. She reached in the cubord and yanked him out, then jumped through the window and landed in the courtyard. Crazy Steiner followed.
"SHOCK!!!!!!!!!" Beatrix cried, a lightning beam shooting from her sword and hitting Kuja.
"NOOOOOO!" Steiner screamed as a light blue translucent Kuja shot out of Miko and disintegrated into thin air. A now normal grey kitten with jade colored eyes and white feet looked around without a clue and started to clean herself. Steiner looked around stupidly and smiled when he saw Beatrix. She walked up to Steiner and hugged him. Steiner seemed rather puzzled by this sudden display of affection and akwardly patted her back.
"Do me a favor Stein," Beatrix said, looking up at Steiner with innocent baby eyes.
"What?"He asked.
"Never get me a pet again." She smiled as she tightened her grip on him.
THE END