The two weeks had past and the group was finally going to meet the Weasleys at Diagon Alley for school shopping. And before they knew it, actually it was just a day later; they were on the Hogwarts Express.

The train ride was the same as always. The annual Malfoy's dropping in, Fred and George playing a game of chess. When it finally stopped at Hogsmeade Station, the lot got out and ran into a carriage.

"I'm starving." Ron muttered, as he put his arm around Hermione in the carriage as it stopped in front of the giant school.

After the sorting, the food appeared.

"Students," Professor Dumbledore started, before dismissing the students to bed. "As you may have noticed, our new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher, is absent at this particular time-"

"HULLO STUDENTS!" the entire school turned their heads to the Entrance Hall. A tall woman with a large purple hat walked into.

"Speak of the Devil!" Dumbledore exclaimed and jumped out of his chair. "This is Arabella Figg, she is the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher!"

"I can't wait to see her." Ron muttered.

"She's very…vibrant from where we saw her." Hermione replied.

"Figg?" Harry repeated. "There was an old Muggle who used to watch me named Figg."

"I'm sure Figg is a very common name." Ginny reassured him. He shrugged and turned to Hermione.

"The password? You are Prefect, aren't you?"

"Oh, yes!" she turned around and a swarm of students were lined up behind her. "The password is 'Bat's Head'. Okay? First years, I need you all to remember that. The rest of you know the drill."

The next morning, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Harry made their way into the Great Hall with Fred and George.

"Did you hear?" George asked them as they sat down for breakfast.

"We made-" Fred added.

"Quidditch Captains!" they said in unison.

"Congratulations." Hermione smiled.

"So," Ron started, slyly, "Who did you guys pick for Keeper…Wood's old position?"

"Not telling, no way." Harry replied.

"Auditions this Friday. And don't you think we'll be picking you because you're Potter's friend and our brother."

"Schedules!" Hermione exclaimed. "Lesse…we've got Figg this afternoon, and you've got double Trelawney in a bout ten minutes. Off you trot!"

"Bye," Harry smiled at Ginny. "See you when I see you."

"But, Mione! I can't live an hour without you! For your brilliance clouds the judgement of Trelawney! The old great-" Ron cried, obviously trying to get a laugh out of Fred and George. He was hanging over Hermione, and let go. "See you later." And he hugged her goodbye.

"How come you're not going to class?" Fred asked her.

"I don't have a class this morning. I have Arithmancy at eleven, and then lunch. Prefects meeting."

"Did you see Ickle Ronnikins blush?" George snickered at his twin. "So, you fancy him? Or is this just him again?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"For someone so smart, you sure were stupid. I swear, you were like; the only one who didn't know Ron fancied you. Didn't you ever wonder about the Ball thing? 'Vicky'? C'mon, Fred, we've got to go rough it with Snape."

"Well, aren't you a chipper little…. Hey Mione!" Ron greeted her at lunch. "How was Arithmancy? I'm sure everything was just lovely with you."

"Here's my favourite guy in the school- and Ron." She glanced at Harry.

"Shut up."

"Why?" Hermione gave him a sad look. "Don't you fancy me anymore?"

"I didn't say that."

"Actually, you never said you did fancy her in the first place."

"Well…" Ron trailed off and looked at Hermione.

When they reached the Defence the Dark Arts Classroom, Professor Figg was sitting at her desk feet up. She was the most unusual teacher they'd ever had, and let's face it, they had some weird ones. Her hair was grey, with a purple tint; she was wearing a purple and blue robe and was still wearing the hat. She had her nails painted black and purple, and some weird sandals, probably made of Dragon Hide. And a weird looking patch, covering a bit of her right hand, and on her left, a purple watch with stars that said where the stars were in the sky.

"Good afternoon, class. I'm Professor Figg. I think instead of working, I'll tell a bit about myself." She smiled a Cheshire Cat Grin, and so did Ron and Harry for having not to work. "I'm six foot three inches, one hundred years old, I've got green eyes, and my natural hair colour is black. But now, it is grey, and I dyed it purple. And if you're colour blind and can't tell, my favourite colour is purple. I have a degree in Defence Against the Dark Arts. I used to be an Auror and for the last fourteen years, I have lived as a Muggle in Surrey." She looked over at Harry and winked. "My favourite animal is a cat, I love cabbage, cake, and my brother is Newt Scandmander, and if you look at you book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, he wrote it. Last but not least, I used to be married to Kennilworthy Whisp, who wrote Quidditch Through the Ages . And, no, I can't get you an autographed copy, because, like I said, we're no longer married. Any questions?"

"That teacher, is the coolest." Ron said. "I can't believe she was offered the job of Chaser for the Tutshill Tornados. But she said she was a Cannons fan."

"I know her!" Harry told Ron and Hermione.

"Of course, so do we. She's our teacher."

"No, I mean, she used to look after me when the Dursleys went off. I used to live in Surrey! She was sent to live there!"

"Oh. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything that she's here now. Like, Voldemort and all."

"I didn't even think that was it!" Harry began to panic.

"Oops…" Hermione said, and headed down to Hagrid's Cabin for Care of Magical Creatures.

A/N- that chapter wasn't as funny…oh well. If you must have a laugh from me, read "I Wanna Be Bad!" and "Motivation" they're new. And "Motivation" has R/Hr. Oh well. I want to wrap up this story soon, and start the sequel. Next chapter will have the reason behind the title, "And You Thought It Was Fame". And, if you couldn't tell, Ron and Hermione are getting into a little fight. Hence the part where she's talking to George and Fred (George is my favourite of the two) and when they meet at the Great Hall for Lunch. This chapter had exactly 1,111 words.