Scene: Rachel's apartment. The day after Monica and Chandler's wedding. Rachel is on the sofa crying.
Ross enters. Rachel quickly wipes away her tears.
Ross: Rachel, what's wrong?
Rachel: Nothing.
Ross: You can tell me.
Rachel: Nothing's wrong!
Ross: Come on, you were spacey all through the wedding reception yesterday. You didn't even go after Monica's bouquet!
Rachel: (wryly) Yeah, I might not have even caught it if she hadn't thrown it at me. (gives a half-smile)
Ross: Please, just tell me what's wrong.
Rachel: Ross, the thing I want to tell you- it's so big- I can't "just tell you."
Ross: Try.
Rachel: (taking a deep breath) Okay, okay. Ross, the thing- the thing I have to tell you is that, uh, I took a pregnancy test and it said that, uhh… I-I'm pregnant.
Ross: (really really shocked, but trying to take it all in) O-Okay.
(gulping) Do you- do you know who the father is?
Rachel looks up at him with a fearful/hopeful/sad look.
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel starts crying again. Ross gives her an absent-minded hug.
Ross: Um, listen Rach, I know you want me to tell you what I think now, but… I need some time to think it over. Would it be all right if I went home for a few hours and then came back, say, tonight?
Rachel: Sure, I need some time to think about it myself.
Both of them stand up and embrace.
Ross: Rach, you know, you should go to a doctor. Those pregnancy tests are wrong sometimes.
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah.
Ross leaves.
Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross enters, to find Joey eating his food.
Joey: Hey, is it okay if I eat this? (points to a hamburger)
Ross: (sighs) Yeah, sure. (sits on the couch and sighs)
Joe, let's say you were planning on telling someone something in the distant future but then they told you something that made you want to tell them what you were going to tell them sooner but you knew if you told them what you were going to tell them right away they would think it was because of what they told you. What would you do?
Joey looks at him blankly, and then gets a knowing look on his face.
Joey: Oh, you mean if you planned to propose to Rachel in a year or so and she just told you she's pregnant? And you want to propose now?
Ross: (denying it) No.
Joey: Yes.
Ross: No.
Joey: Yes.
Ross: No.
Joey: Yes. No.
Ross: Yes. (After a split second he realizes he's been tricked.) Hey!
Joey: (laughing hysterically) Gotcha!
Ross: How'd you find out, anyways?
Joey: I hear stuff, and I'm not stupid.
Ross: Go figure.
Joey: I think you should propose anyways. What's the worst that could happen?
Ross: Famous last words.
Joey: No, seriously, think about it. The worst-case scenario is that she'll say no.
Ross: Exactly.
Joey: Come on, Ross, you know she'll say yes. How could she refuse a chance to give your baby two parents instead of one? You know she can't support the baby all by herself! So just go and buy a ring already!
Ross: You're right you know.
Joey: (smiling) Of course!
Ross leaves to go buy a ring.
Scene: Rachel's apartment. Rachel comes out of the bathroom, smiling. She picks up the phone and dials a number.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Greene and I had a 4:00 appointment for a pregnancy test with Dr. Golden? Yes, I'd like to cancel it.
She hangs up grinning and dials another number.
Rachel: Joey? Is Ross there? No? Well when he gets back tell him I need to talk to him. Thanks. Bye.
Scene: Ross' apartment. Joey is still eating when Ross bursts in.
Ross: Hey, I did what you said and got the ring.
Joey: Good. Oh by the way she called and said she needed to talk to you. Hey, do you mind if I help myself… (he stops because Ross has left already)
Scene: Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch reading a magazine.
Rachel: (obviously glad to see him) Hey! I need to talk to you.
Ross: Yeah, Joey told me, but first I have to tell you something.
Rachel: (interrupting) Ross-
Ross: No, if you don't let me finish I never will. Rachel, this baby- you know you can't raise it by yourself. I want to be a part of its life, and not just on weekends and two weeks in the summer.
Rachel: (interrupting again) Ross-
Ross: Let me finish! I don't want to just be a part of the baby's life. I want to be a part of your life, and as more than just a friend. (Gets down on one knee and takes out the ring) Rachel, will you marry me? (Continuing, afraid of what she'll say if he doesn't keep talking). And don't think I'm just asking you because of the baby. I've always wanted to marry you, ever since I broke up with Emily. I love you, Rach.
Rachel: (clearing her throat) Now my turn? Ross, I'm not pregnant. It was a false alarm.
Ross: (turning red with embarrassment) But-but, if your, umm, (squeaks out) period is late, doesn't that mean...? (Understanding now) Ohhhh. (Poor Ross is now deep crimson with embarrassment).
Rachel: (looking at Ross hopefully) But if your question still stands...
Ross: Yes, yes it does.
Rachel: (smiling) Well then, the answer is yes.
Deep tender passionate kissing, you know the stuff. Use your imagination.
That's All
Ross enters. Rachel quickly wipes away her tears.
Ross: Rachel, what's wrong?
Rachel: Nothing.
Ross: You can tell me.
Rachel: Nothing's wrong!
Ross: Come on, you were spacey all through the wedding reception yesterday. You didn't even go after Monica's bouquet!
Rachel: (wryly) Yeah, I might not have even caught it if she hadn't thrown it at me. (gives a half-smile)
Ross: Please, just tell me what's wrong.
Rachel: Ross, the thing I want to tell you- it's so big- I can't "just tell you."
Ross: Try.
Rachel: (taking a deep breath) Okay, okay. Ross, the thing- the thing I have to tell you is that, uh, I took a pregnancy test and it said that, uhh… I-I'm pregnant.
Ross: (really really shocked, but trying to take it all in) O-Okay.
(gulping) Do you- do you know who the father is?
Rachel looks up at him with a fearful/hopeful/sad look.
Ross: Oh my God.
Rachel starts crying again. Ross gives her an absent-minded hug.
Ross: Um, listen Rach, I know you want me to tell you what I think now, but… I need some time to think it over. Would it be all right if I went home for a few hours and then came back, say, tonight?
Rachel: Sure, I need some time to think about it myself.
Both of them stand up and embrace.
Ross: Rach, you know, you should go to a doctor. Those pregnancy tests are wrong sometimes.
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah.
Ross leaves.
Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross enters, to find Joey eating his food.
Joey: Hey, is it okay if I eat this? (points to a hamburger)
Ross: (sighs) Yeah, sure. (sits on the couch and sighs)
Joe, let's say you were planning on telling someone something in the distant future but then they told you something that made you want to tell them what you were going to tell them sooner but you knew if you told them what you were going to tell them right away they would think it was because of what they told you. What would you do?
Joey looks at him blankly, and then gets a knowing look on his face.
Joey: Oh, you mean if you planned to propose to Rachel in a year or so and she just told you she's pregnant? And you want to propose now?
Ross: (denying it) No.
Joey: Yes.
Ross: No.
Joey: Yes.
Ross: No.
Joey: Yes. No.
Ross: Yes. (After a split second he realizes he's been tricked.) Hey!
Joey: (laughing hysterically) Gotcha!
Ross: How'd you find out, anyways?
Joey: I hear stuff, and I'm not stupid.
Ross: Go figure.
Joey: I think you should propose anyways. What's the worst that could happen?
Ross: Famous last words.
Joey: No, seriously, think about it. The worst-case scenario is that she'll say no.
Ross: Exactly.
Joey: Come on, Ross, you know she'll say yes. How could she refuse a chance to give your baby two parents instead of one? You know she can't support the baby all by herself! So just go and buy a ring already!
Ross: You're right you know.
Joey: (smiling) Of course!
Ross leaves to go buy a ring.
Scene: Rachel's apartment. Rachel comes out of the bathroom, smiling. She picks up the phone and dials a number.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Greene and I had a 4:00 appointment for a pregnancy test with Dr. Golden? Yes, I'd like to cancel it.
She hangs up grinning and dials another number.
Rachel: Joey? Is Ross there? No? Well when he gets back tell him I need to talk to him. Thanks. Bye.
Scene: Ross' apartment. Joey is still eating when Ross bursts in.
Ross: Hey, I did what you said and got the ring.
Joey: Good. Oh by the way she called and said she needed to talk to you. Hey, do you mind if I help myself… (he stops because Ross has left already)
Scene: Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch reading a magazine.
Rachel: (obviously glad to see him) Hey! I need to talk to you.
Ross: Yeah, Joey told me, but first I have to tell you something.
Rachel: (interrupting) Ross-
Ross: No, if you don't let me finish I never will. Rachel, this baby- you know you can't raise it by yourself. I want to be a part of its life, and not just on weekends and two weeks in the summer.
Rachel: (interrupting again) Ross-
Ross: Let me finish! I don't want to just be a part of the baby's life. I want to be a part of your life, and as more than just a friend. (Gets down on one knee and takes out the ring) Rachel, will you marry me? (Continuing, afraid of what she'll say if he doesn't keep talking). And don't think I'm just asking you because of the baby. I've always wanted to marry you, ever since I broke up with Emily. I love you, Rach.
Rachel: (clearing her throat) Now my turn? Ross, I'm not pregnant. It was a false alarm.
Ross: (turning red with embarrassment) But-but, if your, umm, (squeaks out) period is late, doesn't that mean...? (Understanding now) Ohhhh. (Poor Ross is now deep crimson with embarrassment).
Rachel: (looking at Ross hopefully) But if your question still stands...
Ross: Yes, yes it does.
Rachel: (smiling) Well then, the answer is yes.
Deep tender passionate kissing, you know the stuff. Use your imagination.
That's All