Criminal --- Fiona Apple
Of course, imagine this song in the male perspective for Zelgadis ;;
I've been a bad bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
Zelgadis watched as Amelia walked right past him without even noticing. He was about to say something when he realized that what she'd done was not on accident. He closed his eyes, feeling even more the heel. Turning, he walked after her, trying to put himself in her line of sight, trying to apologize for what he'd said. Every time he stepped beside her, she turned her face away.
Suddenly she stopped and turned toward him, "You say you're a monster, then I'll treat you like one," she snapped, turning, her hair swirling with the force. He watched as she stalked down the hall away from him. Hanging his head a moment, he was about to give up when he pondered asking Lina for help.
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings the consequence
At hand
But I keep living this day like
The next will never come
Lina was eating lunch when he finally found her. He sighed. Zelgadis knew that he wasn't likely to get her attention right now so he simply came up, poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down with it between his hands. He took a sip of the black liquid and set it aside, waiting for Lina to finish.
Finally, the sorceress gave a burp and leaned back in her chair to regard the Chimera who was dressed in conservative black. "Hey Zel, you look good in black!" she commented with a bright smile.
"Lina- I..." he looked away, how could he admit to what he'd done. The sorceress might never let him live it down, if Amelia didn't kill him first. "Lina, I said something I really shouldn't have," he said softly, picking at his sleeve nervously.
Lina scratched the back of her neck, "I don't recall you saying anything that could be considered that- other then the comment about my time of the month, but that was last week."
"No, Lina, it wasn't to you. I said it to Amelia." Zelgadis blushed faintly, remembering when he'd stepped out of the bath because he'd heard someone in his room. "Oh hell," he muttered and got to his feet, stalking off. Lina blinked a few times then shook her head.
Oh help me but don't tell me
To deny it
I've got to cleanse myself
Of all these lies till I'm good
Enough for him
I've got a lot to lose and I'm
Betting high
So I'm begging you before it ends
Just tell me where to begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Zelgadis found himself in the garden staring at Amelia as she was looking at the flowers and talking to the gardener about them. The Chimera knew that the gardener had seen him, because the old man had looked back at him a few times. Amelia didn't look once. Zelgadis was sure she knew he was there but was ignoring him again. With a sigh, he turned, making his way back into the palace.
He wondered why he hadn't left like he said he would. Zelgadis already knew the answer to that. He couldn't leave with her mad at him like this, but it was likely that she wasn't going to let him apologize. He began to wonder why her opinion mattered so much to him. Zelgadis stopped in his tracks, realizing with the clarity of hindsight.
Slowly, he moved over to the grass beside a pond and threw small pebbles into the water. Tears stung his eyes but he dared not let them free in such a public place. "How did it happen?" he muttered to himself, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "Now she hates me. I blew it." He put his face into his knees, letting the dark fabric soak the wetness from his eyes before it fell.
Let me know the way
Before there's hell to pay
Give me room to lay the law and let me go
I've got to make a play
To make my lover stay
So what would an angel say
The devil wants to know
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Because he's all I ever knew of love
Lina sat beside him with a thump. "Now you've got my curiosity up. What'd you say to Amelia that she hates you?"
Zelgadis lifted his head somewhat to glare at her, "Just leave me alone. It's done and she's not likely to forgive me."
The sorceress rubbed her chin, "Maybe if I told her that you're crying over it-"
"I'm NOT crying!" Zelgadis snapped at her, turning his face away from her. "I just got something in my eye."
"Yeah, that's what they all say, Zel," Lina got a death glare, if only looks could kill. "Well, you could say that you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing?"
"Not likely, Lina, I just don't get drunk."
Lina smiled, "I'm sure you could if you tried really hard."
Zelgadis frowned at her, "I don't enjoy that sort of thing, Lina, though you might."
Lina shook her head, "I was only joking, c'mon, lighten up." She pushed his shoulder and he didn't move but the gesture was what counted. He looked away.
"Its better this way anyway. There's no chance in hell Amelia and I..." Zelgadis shook his head, putting his chin on his arms when he moved his arms.
Lina sighed, "If that's how you want it then fine. Leave. I'm pretty sure that if you do come back you're not likely to find a place in her heart, cured or not. You may not have noticed that all the boys even remotely available have been watching her. She's not a little girl anymore- in a lot more ways then one." The sorceress got to her feet and walked away, though Zelgadis didn't see it, his eyes were focused on the pond before him. Silently brooding, or pouting, Lina suspected the latter but she left him to his thoughts.